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Prince ⦽f Madness
Chapter_4://Saturn
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Elyan was a great help around the apartment once I taught him how to do the chores. I got home super late, and I was pleased that Elyan left the house spotless. The laundry folded neatly in their assigned drawers, and he cooked my diner and my lunch for the next day.
I was given such horrible hours I could barely blink without falling asleep, so; it was appreciated and nice to just get home and crash.
I had a day off coming and I counted the days. Well, to be frank, things got pretty weird, and that Saturday felt more like an odyssey.
So,
Saturday.
It was my first free Saturday. I didn't know what to do on a Saturday; I thought on catching on work, homework, but I thought it would be best to just rest.
I just napped on the couch till nine A.M. I woke up to see Elyan swinging on his ring blade in the middle of the room when I specifically told him NOT TO.
So, right off the bat, I started my day with a migraine.
I wasn’t used to sleeping outside a pod, I just rubbed my eyes and groaned as I sat up, “Elyan, stop that.”
“Why? It's so fun!”
“Elyan, if you break the ceiling I have to PAY to FIX IT.” I grit my teeth. This is the norm with this little butt-hole. You can get a coronary just looking at him.
“You are so silly.” He laughed. “I am not that heavy.” He continued to swing. I was so angry I didn't realize he was half naked.
Look, this is a weird alien that doesn't understand the law, and no matter how you explain it to him he will just laugh. This is the perfect scenario for those who have the strangest fantasies but for me this is like dealing with a child only I don't get the satisfaction to say the little shit is adopted.
“Elyan! You ate nothing but chocolate this past week! You are fattening up like a pig among truffles!” He laughed again. Feeding him is like feeding a little brat. He only consumes sugar and if you force feed him anything else, he will throw a tantrum.
Honestly, I wished that hook broke and the roof would squish him.
I wished too hard…
The hook broke, but it only made a hole in my ceiling. Elyan apparently heard the ceiling collapsing seconds before because he rolled away in the nick of time.
To make matters worse, a tiny little piece of cement fell in my eye.
Oh, my god...
I wanted to kill him…
So I screamed, “God-fucking-dammit!” while I held my left eye.
“Are you--”
“Fuck you, Elyan!!” I kept shouting at him. “Fuck! I fucking told you!! This very shit would happen!!”
“I didn't think you would be injured--”
“I ALWAYS END UP HURT AFTER OR DURING YOUR FUCKING SHENANIGANS!! YOU FUCKING TWIT!” I kept groaning in pain and tearing up. The pain was unbearable. I couldn't hear Elyan. He normally giggles. Thing is, he can't express anything but joy. He just can't be sad. His body language can express him better, and him standing staring at you quietly means he knows he fucked up, and he feels terrible about it. But him literally shaking and clenching his body as if I were to strike him was a new feature. “D-don’t hit me please… I am sorry,” he whispered.
I groaned and calmed down. I just wanted to get that out of my eye and being angry wasn't helping. “It's fine…” I tried to see what was lodged in my fucking eyeball in the bathroom mirror but it was so difficult. This is why you can't be your own doctor.
I felt his hands creep up my face. “Let me see…” he says softly. I moved my hand from my eye and opened it to the best of my abilities. It really hurt. I had to instruct him how to get it out.
So, we sat in my bathroom while he tried to remove the fucking pebble in my eyeball. “Uhm… I think it's stuck.”
“What do you mean, Elyan?”
“Well…” he pulled it out, and I screamed. The result being my left eye had a laceration and I had to wear an eye patch for the rest of the recovery. I stared at Elyan with my right eye through the mirror and he was smiling and giddy. “You look like a pirate! Perhaps I should steal your treasure.” He snaked his arms around me and presses a kiss on my neck. I growled and pushed him away. “You fucking caused this, you harpy!”
“At least you didn't lose your sight.”
“Fuck you. I swear to god I will kick you out!” I could have sworn his face expressed bewilderment or shock for a second.
That was my entire morning and I missed breakfast. So, I had to make lunch, for me and that twit.
“Why can you not make pancakes?” he asked. He was propped on the stool staring at the cookbook.
“Because I don't like to eat sweets during lunch.” I was preparing instant rice and dried meat. The military only provides preserved meals for free. The rest I have to pay for it. It was difficult to cook with NO DEPTH PERCEPTION.
“But I like sweets.”
“And I don't. Besides, I have been craving rice for a while.”
“Is it possible to make sweet rice?” he asked. You know, I genuinely wanted to know if it was possible. “Elyan, I am cooking.”
“Let me help--” I threatened him with the knife and barked, “not one step closer! I want to eat, not die!!”
“Are you still mad--?”
“Hell hath no fury like a Josiah scorned!”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“Please--”
“Stay away!”
He stayed quiet, smiling softly as I cooked.
Or rather, dig my grave.
I grabbed the wrong cup and poured it in the pan and the water I poured in exploded, don’t fucking ask how that works...
There was a fire. “Josiah!” Elyan dragged me out of the kitchen and he-- I kid you not, he sucked up the fire and swallowed it.
I was stuck in a daze. I felt so stupid. Elyan rushed over to see if I was okay. “Josiah! Josiah! My love!” He held my face, “Josiah! You got burned!”
“C-calm down, it was just an accident-” He kissed my wound. “I will get the kit.” He ran into the bathroom and treated me with my instructions. He learned pretty quick.
“How the hell did you do that?” I asked when he patched me up with butter.
“Breathing fire? Well one of my many extensive lovers was a dragon-”
“Wait… hold on. Dragon? As in the mythical beast?”
“They are not a myth and, yes, she taught me how to do it.”
“She?”
“Yes.” He smiled. I assumed he was just into males but I guess he liked everything. It's really hard to picture a guy like Elyan fucking a dragon. Actually, that is the only thing I could think of. “Was that ring of yours a gift from her too?”
“Moon's Halo? It was a gift for my birthdate. A very popular jeweler and smith made it for me.”
“How does it even work…?”
“It controls my center gravity to make it easier for me to glide in any gravitational field. It shrinks and grows with my gravity center.”
“Why the Moon? I'd understand Neptune or Saturn but why name it Moon's Halo?”
“It was once the ring of the moon.”
“Once? He took the ring and made it into that weapon?”
“Not just Moon's, Mercury’s ring was used as well for my baby sister.” He stopped and chirped, “all done! Let me cook for you,” he said before kissing my cheek.
So, he cooked pancakes for lunch. He made the effort to make heart-shaped pancakes. I just sighed and ate them and I knew then never to trust Elyan with my meals.
Not two minutes after the first bite I was sitting on the toilet with sonic diarrhea. It hurt just to breath. “Josiah?” Elyan said behind the locked door. “Are you all right?”
“Go away…!” I was clutching the toilet paper for my life.
“Let me help--”
“Elyan! What did you put in the pancakes!?”
“The three ingredients the box demands, two whole eggs, ⅓ cup of oil and 1 1/2 cups of milk.” I can't tolerate milk. Frankly, no one can tolerate cow milk and I don't know who was the fucking smart ass to milk a cow and say “I reckon this taste good on my oats!”
“Elyan! You twit! I am lactose intolerant!”
“Oh!... what does that mean?” It still amazes me to this day that Elyan is a super genius in astrophysics and a genuine war god, but does not understand what simple things in everyday life are.
“Milk can kill me!!”
“Oh, no! Josiah!! I am sorry! How can I fix it!?”
“I just need to shit it all out!! Leave me alone! Please!!!”
“I will wait outside--”
“Get away from the door and leave me some privacy!!”
So I sat there for maybe three hours groaning and farting my pains. I am glad I had an emotion enema cause I am not embarrassed to shit in public or in a crowd.
I sighed after I felt better. I cleaned myself up, flushed and washed my hands thoroughly.
I walked out and I see Elyan stare off into the balcony. He has sensitive hearing, so, he is either trying to hear something else other than my fart fare, or he hears something from far away.
“What is it?” I asked him and stood beside him to see what he was looking at. “Someone is calling me…”
“Who?”
“Andromeda…” I see he is about to jump off the balcony and I stopped him, “wait,” I said. “Get dressed, I’m going with you.”
“Y-you will…?”
“Yeah, might as well get something to eat while we're out…”
Elyan smiled so wide I swear he got extra dimples.
After we dressed up in something more casual, Elyan straight up flew us to the beach. The moment Elyan’s feet touched the sand, he set me down and ran to the water.
I just watched him. I’m not too much a fan of the ocean.
We heard voices coming from the sky and Elyan responded. The songs got progressively louder and mermaids— motherfucking mermaids— descended from the sky and into the water. They were small and different colors. Elyan and the mermaids were singing in his weird sing-song language as they played in the water.
I don’t understand, no one else was here but us, that was too lucky.
After some time a few mermaids noticed me. They sung to me, I didn’t understand a fucking word. Elyan held out his hand and invited me over. “They are my nieces…” he said. I just nodded, too shocked at how many little mermaids surrounded him. Unbelievably, only one had hair color similar to his and it was a bright magenta but she was his spitting image if he were a girl. “Nafyssa,” she had more human features as well.
“Chloe,” she was a blue mermaid, she had a slim tail almost scaleless. Her hair was curly and weirdly enough her arms were bird wings.
“Samsahrah,” she was a green mermaid with duo chrome scales. She was the strangest of the bunch because she looked more like a humanoid dragon.
“Meteorite,” the smallest of the mermaids. She had black skin and her eyes were so bright they resembled stars. Her head was covered in pearls and black feathers.
“and Serena,” she was pale and had wings over her head to cover her eyes.
“Hello…” I hesitated, and they all tackled me. The bastard with red hair laughed at my torcher, “Awww! they like you!”
“Get off!” I shouted, the girls squealed and crawled into the water, apparently freaked out.
“Since when you had nieces??” I wanted to ask him a lot of things but this was the first one I could ask.
“They are my sister's daughters…” Elyan breathed.
I watched Elyan play with the mermaids till they flew back into the sky by the time the sunset on the horizon.
Elyan waved enthusiastically good-bye till they were out of sight. He looked lost, almost drowning in nostalgia. “My sister was blessed with children…”
“Why didn’t she showed up with her daughters then?” I asked.
“My sister could be in a different universe at this moment in time…”
“Doing what?”
“Perhaps she is looking for me still. Neither of the girls have seen her for years at a time…”
“Why not go out to see your sister?”
“I won’t last such a straining journey…”
“Maybe she will visit someday… We should go eat…” I turn to walk to the nearest establishment.
Elyan pulled my wrist mumbling, “wait…” I looked up waiting for him to catch his breath. He clutched my shirt and pulled me into a kiss, it was brief. I stared at him flabbergasted when we parted. "Thank you for being here with me, Josiah…” He smiled and his eyes glazed with tears.
I didn't respond immediately, I was somewhat flustered he stole my first kiss. I honestly didn’t know how I felt about that. “I’m sorry for being so forward with you, but I have fallen in love with you and I can’t understand why. I never felt this way with any woman, or anyone. I just hope you can put up with me for a little longer… You don’t have to love me, it will be enough for me just to pretend that you do...” We just stared at each other in complete silence as we heard the ocean ballad. “That's not healthy…” I said. He just smiled and said, “standing next to you weakens my heart... Ironic, is it not?"
“Elyan, have nothing I've done so far helped you…?” He didn't answer.
I felt as like I swallowed a think pill. I couldn’t handle the information he just threw at me. My life was shifting rapidly and I really didn’t like it. I think after this, I couldn't sleep in the pod. I just laid on the couch staring at empty space thinking about what Elyan said. He was dying and there was nothing I could do to help him. I could understand why he was daring when he touches me… I really don't feel right when anyone touches me and I felt conflicted because it was a dying wish.
I thought Elyan wasn't a god… I thought he was a failed experiment gone horribly wrong, and he pretends he is something higher than what he is to cope with his sad reality. That really broke my heart. That's when it hit me, I was feeling attached to him when I clearly was not supposed to.