Gaming was useless!

Studying was useless!

Working was useless!

Sitting around on my ass was useless!

I could feel the soles of my bare feet sinking into the mud and shivered, ignoring the snickers of the nearby onlookers. If I were to describe myself at this moment I'd say I was slim, petite and pale skinned as the moons unbaked backside.

“And incredibly pissed that those things mean absolutely nothing in this world!”

Oops, I said that out loud. Now these people are staring at me. At least I'm getting some attention. Where was I again? Oh right.

I'm a desirable, good looking and fun teenage girl damn it!

At least I was back in my own world. I think we can all agree on what happened here. One minute I was laying on my plush and luxurious bed thinking about this low carb salad I'd just eaten and the next minute I was knee deep in long grass that was cutting into my thighs like razorblades.

This is the grass that hell grows in its lush fiery forests.

Of course that was about two weeks ago. I can't really tell time over here, they have two suns and it's hot as balls for twenty hours of their thirty hour days. I wasn't so calm about it in the beginning but five days of continuous crying didn't lead to prince charming coming to my rescue. I didn't even find a perverted old man.

Some fugly as tanned chick with muscles for tits shot an arrow into my back.

Not that it says much about her, they're all tanned and muscles over here. Even the babies. Apparently she thought I was a freakin' wounded animal crying for its mum. I saw some of them on the way back, beasts that look like what the nerdy kid at my high school draws when he's imagining how crap all of humanity except the girl he likes is and escaping into fantasy because he's so cool in his own world.

I should add that I don't have to eat in this world. I went ten days without a drop of water or a bread crumb before fugly realised she could use me for cheap labour.

Talking about the breadcrumbs now, what do they put in them?!

I'm not joking, I tried to sneak out a loaf of bread when I thought I was going to die and my teeth bounced right off of it like they were amnesty international meeting a Pamela Anderson. Which leads me to my next observation between the crying and slave labour.

All these people are strong. Each one looks like a professional wrestler had sex with a baguette and got ripped. Their skin is tanned and crusty like bread and apparently its fine for it to shed right off of them while they walk on the street. Each one of them is ripped like gods and they don't even seem to care that I'm struggling while carrying this very heavy water bucket.

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Not to mention none of the guys even glance at me.

I would cry at how unattractive these people find me if I wasn't all dried out. Like, I think there's no more water in my body. It's becoming a serious concern for me. Oh wait, fugly is walking up to me. Oh god she's talking to me now. I don't even understand a word of what she's saying but I think she's angry at me. She's probably just angry because deep down she knows I'm prettier than she is, a personal win.

Did I mention the breath?

I swear I can see it wafting towards me like a mist of death. Yesterday she got into a conversation with one of her muscle friends and I don't know what they were saying but to me it looked like they were fighting over who could get the most bad breath into the other persons airspace.

Why couldn't prince charming come and save me like in those fairy tales!

As for why I haven't run away, I already mentioned the beasts right? What I didn't mention was what happened after I got shot by an arrow.

These guys don't know backwards from front and yet they somehow managed to heal my wound with what I suspect was wad of leaves put together with spit. Rubbed it all over my back and probably gave me forest rabies. If I catch whatever horrible skin disease they have I'll just kill myself.

I actually tried that too.

I ran away instead of getting water, right into a giant cat thing with tusks that was walking in the long grass outside this place and it stabbed me right through the stomach. It looked like a big puma. I was happy for about three seconds. Then fugly walked up to me and smashed the thing over the head with her giant fist. She actually smiled and dragged me back inside her straw hut while my stomach organs were flailing about in the air.

Spit and leaves later and I was all fixed and ready to go back to work.

Because that's how things work here apparently.

Which reminds me, I have no idea where here is. Or how I got here. Every night is a nightmare, I either cry myself to sleep or I think about anything except for what's around me. I can't stand this place. The animals are giant monsters, the people are giant monsters and I don't think that was mud I stepped on before.

I don't even think it was animal shit.

Mark my words.

One day I'm going to beat that fugly chick over the head with this water bucket.