Memory transcription subject: Daniel Stat, human virologist
Date [Standardized human time]: September 4th, 2148
[Day 28]
The morning air was cold and cloudy. I caught a reflection of myself, dressed in a formal suit with gelled hair, in a puddle along the sidewalk as me and Silvon somberly walked toward the cemetery. Neither of us had any words to say, the world around was just as quiet and forlorn as we were.
A shuttle screeched across the sky above, leaving a trail of blue clouds that faded gray and melted into the overcast background. We arrived, at last, at Nulon and Lew’s final resting place. A wide yard with an assortment of concrete plates in the ground, with miniature trees growing from the centers. Each plate had a name, or names, engraved.
On the far side of the cemetery was a small, positively ancient church sitting atop a hill, looming over the dead like a gaurdian angel, keeping the peace among the trees and well-trimmed grass. Sitting at the peak of the building’s dome was a weathered bronze statue of a venlil, reaching its paws skyward. A cobblestone walkway led the way to the ornate wooden doors, with faded carvings of venlil at peace in the Federation’s ideal afterlife.
I gripped the cold metal handle and pushed open the doors so me and Silvon could enter. The inside of the church was not unlike one on Earth, though topped with a dome. Rows of pews faced a stage at the front of the building, where two caskets lay waiting to be buried.
Almost every seat was filled with members of Silvon’s family or the local church, though none seemed too upset a human was attending. We found our spot in a couple seats fairly close to the back of the church. The dull gray lighting from outside caught the dust in the air, seemingly suspended undisturbed by all the attendees.
A venlil in a ceremonial blue and green robe stepped up to a microphone stand by the caskets and clicked on a holodisplay above them. The forms of the deceased materialized, holding each other and nuzzling, eyes closed as though peacefully asleep. I heard Silvon stifle a sob and bite her paw, prompting me to put an arm around her and hold her closer.
The venlil priest cleared his throat, “Good morning to you all,” he spoke with an elderly and knowledgeable voice. “We are gathered here today to celebrate and honor the lives of our dearly departed Nulon and Lew,” he clicked the holoprojector and a 2D photo of the couple materialized, displaying them both much younger, tails intertwined, picnicking in a park. Nulon was sporting shorter fur on his head, this must’ve been while he was on deployment.
The photo slowly morphed into a solo shot of Nulon in uniform, with a rifle slung over his shoulder and a grim look on his face. His chest was already adorned with several medals. “For a decade, Nulon bravely served in the Venlil Prime Marine Corps, stationed on Sillis and helping aid the Tilfish during their worst recorded raiding season. For his efforts rescuing over 200 civilians, he was awarded the Federation’s highest honor, and discharged to live comfortably with his wife and children,” the photo faded and reappeared as a happy family of six, a happy auburn toddler was center-most, nestled between a couple cloudier kids and laughing happily.
The photos now shifted to a baby photo of Lew, whoever was behind the camera was ruffling the newly-bleached fur on her head. This looked to be her first birthday. It fast forwarded to her working in a flower shop. Silvon used to tell me about their family shop when she was a kid. It came to be owned by a couple of her siblings after she moved out to go to college. In the photo was a dizzying variety of flora from all over the galaxy, with paw-written labels and descriptions beneath. Lew was working the till, now adolescent, and looked a lot like Silvon, minus my fiancée’s unruly tuft of fluff just above her forehead. That came from Nulon, who now appeared next to Lew at Dayside’s annual spirit festival. The two were dancing around a bonfire, paw in paw, while the crowd around sang and dance.
Next was their wedding photos, the flower shop again with a couple new little workers, and finally, the day Silvon left for college. Her parents were older, had graying fur, but warm smiles on their faces. The slideshow concluded, and I could see several family members quietly sobbing.
“I’d like to invite the family of the deceased forward to give their eulogies,” the priest stepped away from the microphone as the display once again focused on the first rendering of Nulon and Lew hugging.
One by one aunts, uncles, siblings, and cousins stepped up to give their pieces. I held my beloved close, patting her head as she cried into my chest. Once the last of the eulogies wrapped up, the priest returned to the mic with a tentative, “Is that everyone?”
I looked to Silvon, “You have anything you want to say?”
She shook her head slowly, more tears spilling from her eyes. I looked up at the priest and we locked eyes. Despite initially wanting to keep attention off myself, my body moved forward on its own. I gave Silvon a kiss and stood to limp down the aisle and up to the mic.
I cleared my throat, realizing how terrible I must look still beaten and bruised. “Good morning,” I spoke, steeling my nerves, “I uh, I didn’t really plan to say anything here today, but I realized that silence would be a disservice to everything Nulon and Lew have done for me,” I looked to the crowd to see Silvon smiling wearily. All the encouragement I needed to keep going, “When I met the love of my life, Silvon, I didn’t expect to be treated as anything but predatory. I was worried, that they wouldn’t like me, that I’d never be welcomed, but that didn’t happen. That first night I met them, they were timid, sure, but they let me into their home, gave me food and a place to sleep, and most importantly to me, gave me permission to finally ask Silvon out,” I felt tears starting to sting my eyes and I hastily wiped them away.
“Just a couple weeks ago, Nulon sat down with me and we had a heart to heart. He made me promise to always be there for her when he can’t be, to take good care of my fiancée. I- I thought it would be a lot longer before he’d leave me to uphold that promise. Him and Lew both. My biggest regret was not spending as much time with them as I should’ve. They would’ve been my in-laws, and the closest thing to parents I’ve had in over a decade,” I wiped my eyes, using the microphone stand to steady myself. I turned directly toward the coffins, “Thank you guys,” I turned back to the crowd, everyone’s broken eyes were on me. I nodded lightly, limping back down the aisle to retake my spot by Silvon.
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On my back, one of my fiancée’s aunts patted me on the arm as I walked past, quietly whispering, “Thank you, doctor.”
I sat back down, releasing a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. The priest walked back up to the mic, giving closing remarks as light hymns played from unseen speakers. Soon, we were being ushered outside, down the cobblestone path toward a couple lots where soon Nulon and Lew’s grave tree would be planted. The coffins were carried out behind us.
Me and Silvon stood over the lowering caskets, tossing flower petals and keepsakes atop them, and staying to watch the dirt be piled on over them. It began to rain when the priest and a couple churchgoers finally put down the cement slab and planted the tree in its hollow center.
“They’re gone,” Silvon whispered.
I rubbed a hand on her shoulder and pulled her close, “I’m sorry,” I whispered sullenly.
~~~
Memory transcription subject: Jakiv, arxur scientist
Date [Standardized human time]: September 4th, 2148
[Day 28]
I stared up at the ceiling, my claws fidgeted with the soft blanket swaddling me comfortably. Nuri’s gentle breathing next to me was reassuring as my thoughts wandered. I’ve spent a while now just asking myself how I ended up here. What right I did to warrant a home, a partner, and so many kind people.
Some nights I still tasted the blood on my tongue, and other nights the burning metal on my scales. I swallowed the lump in my throat and got up to march to the bathroom, carefully keeping my claws from clacking on the hardwood floor.
I clicked on the light, examining myself in the mirror, trying to chip at the metal in one of the scales beneath my right eye. I sighed as my eyes fell over my gaunt form. I was only marginally more healthy looking, but still looked starved. I sniffled, feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden, and sunk to the floor where I sat with my tail wrapped around myself and crying into my own arms.
Vilvit took me aside from my cubicle, in that shitty office job I had to work when I had no other skills or qualities. “Jakiv,” she said dryly. “Your quantity of work is… impressive… but it’s become increasingly clear your ethic is… self destructive.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you need to go on leave for a while. You’re killing yourself with your workload.”
My features contorted in anger, “So what if I am? What the fuck else am I supposed to do?”
“Jakiv, please,” Vilvit said, “Go home. Don’t think we haven’t seen you skipping meals to get more done. When you prove you’re capable of healthily working again, we’ll call you back. Until then, clean out your desk.”
“S-so what? I’m fired?”
“That’s not what I said. You’re just on leave.”
I huffed with indignation. I’d given my prophet damned life for this job! I wasn’t just going to sit and rot at home like I did when I got out of that factory. I slammed her office door behind me, strutting out on the street and shooting glares at any passerby. The whole planet was a dreary polluted mess on its last legs after the Dominion’s collapse.
I went home, throwing myself down on the couch, and scrolled endlessly through my holopad. All I thought about was what I really had to live for anymore. Nothing, I figured.
Nothing.
“Jaki?” there was a knock at the door. I hastily wiped my face with shaky claws.
“H-hey, Nuri,” I tried to keep my tone positive and hide my crying.
“Are you okay in there? You’ve been- you’ve been in there for 20 minutes,” she sounded concerned.
“Yeah, all good,” my voice broke and gave me away.
She knocked again, softer this time, “You wanna talk about it?” she cooed. I opened the bathroom door, more tears streaming down my face. “What happened?”
“I don’t know,” I confessed, “I- I should be so happy right now,” the yotul put her arms around me. “I don’t know, I’m just- I’m sorry.”
“For what, Jaki?”
“For- for…”
“For nothin’. You don’t have to be sorry for anything,” she smiled.
“I guess?”
She tightened her grip, nuzzling my chest. “Have you given any thought to those therapists Vilvit was sending you?”
“No, I don’t even know if they’d care to help me,” I said. “I’m a damn arxur-”
“You’re a heroic citizen of Leirn and you’ll be treated like one,” Nuri stated. “Don’t think I won’t go talk to them myself if they’re shitty to you.”
I shuddered, more sobs escaped me as I held the marsupial, “What did I do to deserve you?”
“Everything, Jaki,” she whispered. “Now, how about we get you some help, huh?”
“I don’t know- I’m afraid,” I admitted.
“Don’t be,” she cooed, “I’ll go with you if it helps. I’ll make sure there’s no judgment, because you deserve that.”
“Do I?”
Nuri kissed me, “Yes you do.”
I sniffled and together we sat at the kitchen table and scrolled through the sea of suggestions Vilvit had given me, settling on a human-owned establishment since I didn’t trust any prey species to reliably care about me.
“You’ve got yourself an appointment tomorrow,” Nuri smiled. “I love you, Jaki. I know this will be good for you.”
“I love you too,” I sighed, “T-thank you.”
“Even big bad predators need help sometimes,” she said, wiping a tear off my face. I smiled at the remark.
“What do we have planned today?” I asked.
“Well, I’ve got a little work to do, but I’m free all day after,” she answered.
“Can we just- hang out a bit? Once you aren’t busy…”
The marsupial smiled, “Of course, Jaki. I’d love to.”