Like a gen whatever, the first thing I do is check my phone.

I’m not exactly surprised it doesn't turn on, but I had gotten better after maybe drowning, so….

Oh well.

I put it back in my pocket.

I push the balloons around a bit and are rewarded with a nightstand to the side of the bed.

I open the drawer to find it filled to the brim with confetti.

Huh.

I wonder if there is anything under the confetti, but I really don't want to risk Overpulling the drawer.

...

I untie my pouch and dump it onto the nightstand.

Then I scoop the coins back into it and dump it again.

To my relief, my pouch isn't Snipped, and I don't seem to have more bits than before.

I reach into my pocket and make sure to grab all three pens and five pennies.

I set the pens aside; I doubt that's enough to start Pulling even if they did fit in the pouch.

I look at the pennies in my hand dubiously.

Only one way to find out.

I drop them into the pouch and start taking them out, one at a time.

And the pouch is empty after five.

Which sucks, I’m reasonably sure no one else has pennies, it would have been a good bartering item.

With a sigh, I put my stuff back in my pocket and the bits into the pouch and head downstairs.

Mrs. Cake is still at the counter, while a handful of ponies sit at the tables and munch on various desserts.

When she sees me, she giggles.

"Dear, touch a bit to the register before you shock yourself."

I blink.

"Oh yeah, from all the balloons."

I fish out a bit and sure enough, there is a blue spark as I touch it to the register.

I slip the bit in the pouch and self-consciously pat my hair back down.

"Thanks. So, I have a few questions..."

Mrs. Cake nods kindly.

"I'd be more surprised if you didn't."

I rub my neck nervously.

"I don't feel hungry, thirsty, or tired, even though I normally would."

She smiles.

"Convenient, isn't it? Nopony is sure why, but that's how it's been since the sun set."

I tilt my head.

"Is that... normal? And when will the sun rise?"

The baker shakes her head.

"We used to have proper days and nights, but then Celestia disappeared, and the Mare in the Moon took over. As for when the next dawn is..."

She glances around the room.

"Best not to talk about that, you never know when the black company is listening."

I raise my eyebrows.

"What is-"

Mrs. Cake shakes her head.

"Nopony knows, and the ones that try to find out don't end well. Do you have -any- other questions dear?"

I resist the urge to look behind me.

"Um... Oh, what's the point of making food and drinks and so on if you can't get hungry?"

She chuckles.

"You might not get hungry, but you can still taste good food. In fact, that makes it easier to make food that tastes good, since you don't need to digest it. Here, try a cinnamon roll."

I hesitantly take the plated pastry and a fork.

It smells absolutely delicious.

I raise an eyebrow at her.

"The first taste is free?"

She laughs.

"Hardly! That will be one bit, young colt."

I hand her the bit and dig in.

I moan as the first bite nearly melts on my tongue.

Buttery and rich without being overwhelmingly so, that low spice of cinnamon offset by creamy frosting and brown sugar, grounded by a soft and almost chewy roll.

Mrs. Cake blushes and looks away.

"It sounds like you like it."

I reluctantly swallow.

"It's the best I've ever had!"

I laugh incredulously.

"I can see why you are doing so well despite everything."

She nods with a proud look on her face.

"My husband and I have had a long time to hone our craft."

Mrs. Cake busies herself with wiping the counter while I finish off the cinnamon roll.

I really take my time, savoring every bite, shaking my head in wonder at the stomachache that never comes.

It occurs to me that this is merely baking.

What other things have been honed to the same degree?

I set my fork down at last.

"Is the price for this really one bit?"

Mrs. Cake shakes her head with a smile.

"We don't really do prices anymore. I got a bit and the pleasure of seeing your reaction. Don't expect that sort of trade again, married mares shouldn't be buying that sort of thing from stallions."

My face heats up.

"I made some odd noises, I guess."

She averts her eyes.

"Don't worry about it, dear. First tastes can be...intense."

I try not to think about the implications of that.

"So! Uh, I don't actually have enough of anything to Pull from. Aside from the bits. Are there jobs or something I can do to change that?"

Mrs. Cake nods.

"Of course. Ponies barter for favors, secrets, anything they are too lazy to do for themselves, all sorts. For instance, I would be interested in any dessert recipes you would know..."

I smile sheepishly.

"I mostly used mixes and premade desserts."

She shrugs.

"You never know, especially with stallions. Something to get you started is going to Rarity to get your clothes rendered and remade. That will get you plenty of scraps that you can Pull."

I look down at my shirt.

"Huh. That does sound like a good start. Thanks, Mrs. Cake."

She nods pleasantly.

"Anytime, dear. Anything else?"

I run a hand through my hair, then pause.

"Yes, one more thing. How would I go about finding a more permanent place to stay?"

Mrs. Cake smirks.

"What, the balloons aren't good enough for you? Well, typically, you find something you want to do, and either buy a lease from somepony involved or hire ponies to build something for you."

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

I frown.

Given the barter economy, I have no idea how close or far I am from that.

I fish a penny from my pocket and show it to her.

"Would this be valuable?"

She gives it a quick glance and a shrug.

"Depends on who you ask. A coin collector, a historian, or a smith, they would all give you different values and items or services to trade for. Best keep it until you find something you actually want to do."

I nod and slip it back in my pocket.

"Thanks again. I'll see you later."

She smiles.

"Stay safe, dear. You're always welcome here."

With that, I set out.

The moon is just as high as it was when I first arrived.

Seeing all the dull ponies around reminds me of the more unsettling parts of my talk with the baker and Pinkie Pie.

It doesn't sit right with me, but I really need more information before I start sticking my nose into hornets’ nests.

As I walk down the street, I see one of the lamps flicker out and dim into sporadic flashes of blue.

I glance around, but none of the ponies seem to pay it any attention.

I approach and stand on my tiptoes to look through the pane of cloudy glass.

There is some sort of round thing at the bottom, sparking and arcing with blue bolts of electricity.

Some sort of broken filament?

I settle back on my heels and look around again.

Ponies are glancing at me, but none are angling towards me.

I'll just have to keep an eye on the lamp when I pass through here next time.

I look around and see an empty lot nearby with owl statues along the perimeter.

I think I can remember it for next time.

The carrousel is as unsettlingly dazzling as before.

I walk along the path that leads up to the revolving display.

Past the horse mannequins I see rows and islands of shelves and racks of clothes under dim white lights in the ceiling.

Past that is a circle of counters where ponies in black vests and white body stockings deal with customers.

The whole area is interspersed with the completely covered ponies browsing or waiting in line.

I step up onto the carrousel and weave my way through the racks.

I’m intercepted by a vested stallion, his youthful face with butter yellow fur at odds with his short trimmed gray mane.

He smiles the smile of customer service.

"Welcome to Carrousel Boutique, can I help you put together a new you?"

Oh yeah, that's not creepy at all.

"I was actually hoping to get my clothes, uh, rendered? I'm new in town so..."

He claps his hooves excitedly.

"Wonderful! I'll take you to Lady Rarity right away!"

As he leads me past the counters and through a dark-polished wooden door, he starts chattering.

"Tell me, have you decided your politics?"

I pass by a room with mirrors and a stool.

"Uh, not really. Like I said, I'm new here."

He grins as he pulls out a key ring and unlocks the door to an inner spiral staircase.

"Perfect! As you will know, the Gray Mayor promises to push an initiative to quell the rising Sundance problem, unlike her opponent!"

I follow him up the stairs.

"Oh. That's good?"

He snorts.

"Of course it's good, nopony likes being scorched sick. Did you know the Pink Mayor lets stallions in her Lamp Auditors carry lanterns too? They always get so wrinkly and worn out and it's their own fault, but I still feel sorry for them."

I blink.

"Do they have anything to do with fixing the streetlamps? I saw one go out earlier."

He waves a hoof dismissively.

"Of course, that is their stated job, but you don't have to use a lantern to do it!"

I pass a landing and glance through the window in the door.

In the room beyond, I can see stacks upon stacks of squares of cloth, bundled up with glistening string and filling entire walls of shelves.

I turn to see my guide has gotten a bit ahead of me.

I step quickly to catch up.

"So, there are two mayors?"

He nods.

"The Gray Mayor was here first, of course, but sometime after the Setting, the Pink Mayor appeared and set up the lamps. Ever since, they have been maneuvering around each other. It's honestly a disgrace."

I pass another landing, an immense opaque purple crystal where the door would be.

My guide glances at it longingly then moves on.

I feel like I should be out of breath after climbing two staircases, but I feel fine.

I could get used to this.

"Seems like an election would solve the problem, whatever it is."

The stallion sighs.

"We have elections every two years, but things are too close to be decisive. And when one wins, they allow the other to reside in mayoral office space, and they each have their own secret operatives. It's such a mess, that's why we need new blood like you to shake things up, tip the scales towards justice!"

I blink.

"I doubt one vote will make a difference if things have been so close for this long."

He reaches the last landing and turns to look at me with determination.

"Every vote counts! Especially with the Sundance troubles on the rise!"

I hold my hands up in surrender.

"I get it, I get it. I'll vote in the next election. When is it?"

My guide becomes noticeably less agitated.

"In nine months and a few nights. The date is posted at the city hall if you ever need a reminder."

I glance significantly at the door.

The stallion blinks, then blushes.

"Sorry, I got caught up in- let's just do this."

He opens the door and calls out, "Lady Rarity, a newcomer is here for a rendering."

My guide gives me an apologetic smile and trots back down the stairs.

I step cautiously into the room.

It's almost blindingly bright after dealing with the night and the dim lights of the store front.

As my eyes adjust, I see horse mannequins strewn about with half-finished clothing pieces hanging off of them.

There are plenty of transparent crystals lying about, in bins, in pieces, in clothing, in motion and crawling along glowing strands running parallel with the ceiling.

There is a veritable hive of the weird spiders swarming around up there.

It makes my skin crawl.

In fact, if it weren't for Pinkie and Mrs. Cake's recommendation, I would be out the door and searching for the strongest flamethrower I could find.

Instead, I wait only a little longer before a white pony in a shimmering sky-blue dress walks out from around the curve of the room.

Her mane is a rich purple, tied up in an elegant bun studded with gems, while two short curtains of ringlets frame her face.

She is wearing glasses with six stacked wheels of lenses by each eye piece, the whole thing held up by a thick white strap wrapping around her head.

Her horn lights up with the same sky blue as her dress, and the glasses float to a nearby table

She gives me a warm smile.

"I am ever so sorry to make you wait. My name is Rarity, Lady Rarity if you must. And who might you be?"

I incline my head.

"I'm Anonymous, Anon for short. Ah, Mrs. Cake recommended you to me?"

Rarity's smile broadens.

"And how is she? It's been far too long since I dropped by for a treat."

I shrug.

"She seemed pretty happy and content to me. Did a good cinnamon roll."

The unicorn clears a table, the assorted clutter floating up and raining into various bins.

"That's good to hear, she has always been a sweet mare. Now, if you would take off your clothes, we can get started."

I blush, somewhat turned on by her refined accent giving such commands.

"Uh, could I get a changing screen?"

She blinks.

"Oh, of course. Pardon me, it has been some time since I last rendered for a stallion."

She levitates a three-panel white screen in front of me and I start taking off my t-shirt.

As soon as I drape it over the top, she snatches it away.

"Hmm, similar to minotaur designs, and hasn't it been some time since I've last had one of those around?"

I take off my shorts next, which also disappear in short order.

Even with the screen in place, I feel rather exposed just standing in my boxers, socks and- oh yeah.

I take off a sock and drape it over the screen.

There is a pause.

"And your ball-bra too, darling. I shan't be able to make you a full wardrobe without it. I assure you, my interest in such things is purely professional after all these years."

I cough.

"I don't have a ball bra, but there is this."

I hesitantly slip off my boxers and offer them up to the other side of the screen.

The momentary silence is broken by an audible sniff.

"Did you really just sniff my underwear?"

I can't tell if I am amused or aroused.

I glance up at the ceiling spiders and aroused no longer becomes an option.

"I assure you, I was merely gathering information on what kind of fabric this is. Yes, that and nothing else. Now, while you wait, why don't you try on these ball bras until you find one you like?"

I am immediately inundated with...

Jockstraps, apparently, of every color in the rainbow.

Not to mention all sorts of patterns and lace embroidery.

Nevertheless, I feel a little better after putting on a pragmatic black one to cover my junk.

Still feels weird to have my butt hanging out though.

As I sift through the offerings, I hear slithering and ripping sounds from the other side of the screen.

I don't really pay any attention to it, until I hear the unmistakable sound of something being Snipped.

And then it happens again and again and I start reconsidering not running out the door.

Finally, it stops and I no longer feel existential dread.

As much.

It's hard to describe my relief when my clothes appear over the top of the screen once more.

I quickly put on my boxers, then more leisurely the rest.

As I pull my shirt back on, I grunt in surprise.

"No seams?"

"Did you want seams? I always find them to be slightly uncomfortable."

I step out from behind the screen to find Rarity tying off the last of eight gallon-sized bags on the table.

"Uh no, I feel the same way."

Four spiders are each gnawing on a different sample from my clothes.

I can see thread of the same color begin to spool in their abdomens.

Rarity follows my gaze and smiles in pride.

"Ingenious, aren't they? With them, I can turn anything into thread, and that has opened vast horizons of possibilities. Would you like one?"

I glance between her and the swarm above warily.

"Will I end up as..."

I gesture vaguely up and down my body.

She rolls her eyes.

"They call themselves the 'Threadbare' as if that's clever. I'd be most disappointed if you did become like them, they have lost sight of the fact that it's the outfit that suits the pony, not vice versa."

I feel a little better about her obvious disdain for them.

"So, what would I use a spider for?"

Rarity perks up at my neutral tone.

"Oh, all sorts of things. Obviously, if you come across a material you would like to wear, a spinner can chew it up and make thread for weaving. Plenty of ponies do that for Pulling material. They also follow most commands, so you can have it fetch things for you, or go for help if you are trapped somewhere, and so on."

I raise my eyebrows.

"Do ponies get trapped often?"

She shrugs.

"Explorers more than others."

I rub my chin.

"That does sound pretty handy. And you're just giving them away?"

Rarity nods.

"It's not entirely charity, you must understand. For instance, many of the Threadbare bring in thread made from materials I would never risk myself for, just for the novelty of wearing it."

Ah, that makes sense.

"In that case, sure, I'll take one."

At that, a spinner drops onto the table and salutes me with one leg.

I glance at Rarity.

"How smart are these things, anyhow?"

She shrugs.

"I'm not entirely sure, but they seem to understand most things I say to them. Alas, they do not seem to understand romance, perhaps because they do not breed."

I approach the table and hold out a hand.

The spinner crawls onto my palm, hunched a little to keep all of its legs on my hand.

I raise it to eye level.

"I think I shall name you Charlotte."

It (she?) does a spidery bow, and I coax it onto my shirt sleeve.

Rarity smirks a little at that and pushes four of the bags forward.

"Your scraps, sir. And did you find any ball bras you liked?"

I pause as I reach for the bags.

"Oh, yeah, uh, I forgot I was wearing one, I'll-"

"Keep it. A gentlemare such as I cannot countenance leaving a stallion in indecency, after all."

Okay, that is a weird thing to say in a pattern I am starting to recognize.

But I have more important things to ask about.

"And if I wanted to trade for more clothes, what sorts of things should I bring?"

Rarity gestures around her.

"Anything like what you see here. Thread, gems, cloth, lenses, jewelry... As a matter of fact, I have an errand I would ask of you in return for a set in your choice of reasonable fabrics."

I tilt my head inquisitively.

"What would that be?"

The white mare looks down at the table with a rueful expression.

"As you might guess, I spend perhaps too much time sequestered up here. And yet I can feel myself on the verge of some realization, some epiphany that shall surely sweep the fashion world once I realize it! But I do hear rumors filtering up about trouble around Sweet Apple Acres. I would ask that you convey my concern to my good friend Applejack and find out what is the matter."

I glance at Charlotte.

"Is there anything I should know before I meet her?"

Rarity tilts her head, considering.

"Don't bring up apple dishes? And certainly do not eat the apples."

I nod.

"Should be easy enough to remember. I'll do it."

Rarity beams at me.

"Wonderful! Here, take my calling card and give it to her."

I accept what looks like a business card with three diamonds on one side and "Hope you are well" written in cursive on the other side.

I pocket it.

"And where is Sweet Apple Acres?"

Rarity levitates a scrap of white cloth from a small stack and stitches a quick map in black thread.

I am silently impressed by the speed and straightness of the lines, even as I take the map from her proffering magic.

She moves a mote of light along the map.

"Head west until you come across a high stone fence, then follow it until you encounter an Apple Core member, and they can guide you the rest of the way."

I nod.

"Seems fairly straightforward. I'll get started right away."

Rarity smiles.

"Thank you, darling. It is so hard to concentrate properly when I am distracted by such rumors."

I grab my bags of scraps, cradling two of them along my left arm.

"Glad to help. See you later, Rarity."

"Au revoir, Anonymous."