It wasn’t my No-Name god.

“There are so many gods,” the girl said breathlessly, “Who do you think is the cutest?”

“Definitely his highness. Eyes like the ocean, the build of a stallion, the courage of a tiger…”

“He’s mine!” Sylvestris roared from three seats away.

“Wow,” I mouthed to Shangtian.

“Yeah right, everyone knows his highness doesn’t take disciples,” one of the two candiates mumbled.

For once, I was thankful that no one knew my god. I imagined the two girls becoming his disciple, and my blood suddenly boiled, followed by a sudden urge to throw them off Shenjie. Great, I was possessive over a man whose name I didn’t even know. I sighed and stared at the banners that floated above the stage. “Long Live the Shenjie Authority” “Follow Shenjie Rule, Reward Comes to You”.

“Will they remember their ordeal, those who don’t pass?” I turned to Barette, who was offering tips to an eager Shangtian.

“Not after Old Lady Meng’s soup,” Barette answered. “See that girl with the mole over there? She has been here every year. Every life she chooses to go through deification. A lot of them are actually repeats.”

“How can you recognize her? I thought reincarnation gave you a whole new body?” I asked.

“First of all, I’ve been in Shenjie for decades. I’ve witnessed hundreds of Bai Shi ceremonies. Second of all, there is always a trace, like the mole on her fore head, she had it last time too. Sometimes the most vivid memories of the previous life also remain,” Barette said. She raised her voice slightly, “Naked on stage!”

The girl with the mole snapped up, looking around wildly.

“Her entire dress ripped open during the dance round last time she was here,” Barette whispered with a grin.

I looked down and tightened the knot of my belt.

Cries of greeting and yells of joy continued. Goddesses, floating in bright dresses arranged in multiple layers with silk sashes hanging lazily, arms around waists, praising and laughing behind swan-down fans. Gods, in equally ceremonial attire, addressed, toasted, and teased each other. Fairies, hurried by older fairies, flew around to bring wine and snacks. Magical birds and beasts chorused songs of merriment.

There were so many gods. Barette pointed out the top ones to us..

To the right of the Shenjie gods sat the officials of Yodu. I instantly recognized the familiar gray uniforms worn by Bullhead and Horseface. A solemn man with floor-length gray beard sat in the middle. It was Emperor Yan, Ruler of Yodu. I looked eagerly to his side, but failed to find Bullhead and Horseface.

To the left sat, according to Barette, Ortus Hydrus, the Ruler of the East Sea and the leader of the four dragons who controlled the four seas. Together with his brothers, they made up the kings of Haijie. He had arrived with an army of ocean creatures varying in the degree of humanoid form. Some only had a patch scales or a few fins; others were blatantly oceanic. Surrounding them was a bubble of what appeared to be water. “If we visited their Palace, I wonder if we have to sit in a bubble of air,” I wondered.

In front of the candidates sat all the gods of Shenjie, who had the best view to scrutinize the candidates’ every action. Their robes shimmered even more than usual and collectively looked like the rays of sunshine.

Finally, I turned to the rows of seats behind me. They were empty. Those must have been reserved for Mojie dieties. I thought of Luosha. Whatever they planned to do, I just had to roll with the punches.

A booming series of gong hurried the last standing deities into their seats.

The candidates hushed. My thoughts quickly switched to the events of the ceremony. A tall man from the center of the Shenjie section rose. He had deep-set eyes, prominent cheekbones, and a kind smile. It was Emperor Jadeite, the ruler of Shenjie, whose statues dotted the landscape. His gray sideburns reminded me of the Village Chief. I smiled.

“Welcome, my friends,” he said pleasantly after we all curtisied. “I am delighted to introduce before you the talents wishing to be deified. The Bai Shi Ceremony was established millions of years ago as a way to find the most worthy candidates for service of all living beings. I must thank our hardworking fairies and pages for organizing this haven of loveliness—”

At that moment, there was deafening sizzle, as though water was thrown on something hot. From where I kneeled, I could see a section of the cloud bed vibrating.

Emperor Jadeite waved one hand. There was the sound of something unlocking, and a hole opened in the cloud bed. In the very center, a red object rose slowly.

“A palanquin,” Shangtian said.

She was right. As its top rose above the clouds, I could see the curved pillars of the roof and the gleaming brocade that made up the walls. The palanquin was almost the size of a small palace, but what surprised me the most was what was holding up the palanquin. 64 women, with muscles bigger than mine, carried the four posts with one hand. With the other hand, they held giant staffs that they hit against the ground with each step they took.

Clunk. Clunk. Clunk. It made a rather imposing rhythm. Following the palanquin rose hundreds of dieties. The bright colors of their clothing rendered Shenjie robes pallid in comparison. When they drew close to the empty seats, a small girl jumped from the procession. She crouched in front of the stopped palanquin. Then a slender hand emerged from the palanquin and lifted the brocade cover.

Quite a few candidates gasped. My own jaws dropped at the sight of the goddess. I considered myself to be beautiful, but this lady didn’t just look beautiful, everything about her exuded beauty. Her jet-black hair was woven into an elaborate coiffure, held in place by golden lacework pins with ruby cluster dangles. On top of the coiffure sat a nine-headed bird made from nephrite. In contrast to the flowy robes worn by goddesses of Shenjie, her blood red dress had a fitted bodice that opened daringly, revealing a glimpse of snow-white skin. Her catlike eyes scanned her surroundings lazily before stepping onto the back of the crouching boy. Then, daintily, she glided to the front of the seats and sat down.

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I saw, with amazement, that a trove of butterflies followed her as she moved.

“That’s Chila, leader of Mojie. She was born with a fragrance that invites butterflies,” Barette whispered with a wrinkle of her nose. “I have to admit she is capable when it comes to ruling. Mojie has become a formidable force under her reign, must be the Shenjie blood in her.”

I stared at Chila. She orchestrated the massacre of my village… she ordered the events of last night. Something hot erupted inside me. I could feel my body shaking until I remembered that the yaoguai’s words. “He told me…” not “she”. Was Chila not the mastermind then?

“Let us welcome the deities of Mojie, who delight us with their arrival,” Emperor Jadeite said above the buzz of whipering. There was a half-hearted round of applause before Jadeite continued, “I also thank our guests from Haijie, Yodu, and other far away realms for joining Shenjie in this celebration. Finally, I thank the candidates for their toil and exertion. It is almost over. Without further adieu, let us enjoy watching the future stars of Shenjie shine as the 12328767th Bai Shi Ceremony begins!”

“Long live your majesty!” The deities cheered and bowed.

The Mojie bastards were silent.

“So she is the most evil of the evil gods?” Shangtian immediately asked when Emperor Jadeite sat down. The fairies began setting up the stage for the first round.

“Technically, she’s only half-evil,” answered Barette. She glanced at the still-dazed male candidates disdainfully. “I don’t know why everyone goes crazy about her. Personally I think Lady Chang’e is more elegant.”

I peeked at Chila again. Chila was more alluring than me, I decided, but I was cuter.

“What do you mean by half evil?” asked Shangtian.

“It’s the most scandalous story,” whispered Barette excitedly, an eye on the fairies, who were still setting up. “Chila’s mother is Princess Oxalis, sister of his majesty. They say that Princess Oxalis loved sneaking out of Shenjie to visit the worlds. It was on one of these trips that she was abducted by Arum. Guess what? Then Chila was born! Don’t be fooled by her appearance, I heard that Chila was hand-raised by Arum. You can guess how she is.”

I looked at Chila, imagining all sorts of evil acts carried out by her.

“His majesty was able to rescue the princess, but Arum eventually found her again. Princess Oxalis fought heroically and managed to kill Arum. Unfortunately, she also perished.”

We stared at Barette in stunned silence.

“That’s not all,” Barette continued, “Just before her death, Princess Oxalis gave birth to her son Laurus. His majesty tried to raise him and instill in him good Shenjie values. But like they say ‘one drop of demon blood makes one demonic’. He joined his sister in Mojie as soon as he had the chance.” Barette looked disapprovingly behind me.

I followed her eyes to a dark young man standing next to Chila. He was equally stunning. He surveyed the festivities like a wise man in a crowd of fools but I sensed an air of loneliness about him.

“He has never known his parents, just like me,” I thought. As I wallowed in pity for him, one of Chila’s butterflies flew away from her… came towards my direction… and landed on my shoulder! I gasped.

“It’s just a butterfly.” Barette gave me a strange look as I shooed the little sucker away.

I didn’t want to draw attention to myself after the events of last night. I quickly looked up to see if anyone from the Mojie section noticed. Only the god named Laurus was staring at me.

His white teeth gleamed as he smirked at me.

“Demon,” I muttered.

“What your tongue,” Barette warned. “Chila can get very vengeful against those who say bad things about Mojie.”

At that moment, the Goddess of Propriety landed in front of us. Her flower bulb seat sparkled so much that we could barely see her face.

“Your conduct is representative of Shenjie. This is a precious opportunity for you to show off the capabilities of Shenjie’s protégés,” she addressed us solemnly. “You will each be tested in three subjects of your interest. You will be scored. The better you score, the more likely a senior god will select you as his or her disciple. Furthermore, your score will translate to the amount of chi your new shifu will gift you.”

Everyone seemed to lean foward.

“—Those not selected will leave, as will those who fail any subject.”

Candidates began to whisper. From the feverish buzzing around me, I seemed like the only one who didn’t care about scoring high. I knew why I was here: find my god and save my people. In fact, I shouldn’t score too high. I couldn’t risk my “minor” god not selecting me because he didn’t have enough chi.

“You will start”—the Goddess of Propriety had raised her voice over the excited buzz—“by choosing three subjects.”

Ten jade tablets materialized in my lap. Each tablet was carved with a subject.

I stared dumbly at the tablets. Music, dance, qi, martial arts, prosody… apparently there was much more to knowledge than just reading and writing.

“What are you choosing?” Shangtian asked. She already clenched three tablets in her hand.

I continued to stare at the tablets. After a few moments, I grabbed “Gastronomy”, because it seemed to have something to do with food, and I loved to eat.

“Choose ‘Prosody’. My shifu said the gods love it,” Shangtian said. So I grabbed that too despite having no clue what ‘Prosody’ was.

Shangtian had also chosen music and dancing. I grimaced at the thought of myself twirling around… no thank you, I preferred climbing trees. But I did know a few notes of music from my days of herding sheep, so I chose “Music” as my third subject.

“You said everything gods do revolve around helping mortals,” I vented. “How do dancing and cooking help them?”

“Well, music keeps mortals happy when doing boring work, and dancing binds them into a group. Deities need to be experts in music and dance in order to pass down their knowledge to mortals. Similarly, deities will teach gastronomy to mortals so they know how to make food more digestible, more healing—”

“Wait, gastronomy isn’t a eating contest?”

“The first subject to be tested is Gastronomy.” The Goddess of Propriety’s cheerful voice drowned out my question.

A fully equipped kitchen materialized in front of me and in front of all candidates who chose Gastronomy. I watched in horror as Shangtian, and the rest of the noncompeting candidates sank underneath the stage. The stage was clear, allowing them to watch us from beneath while the eyes of dieties watched us from above.

A man and a woman landed on the center of the stage.

“I am Chupo, Goddess of the Kitchen. This is my husband, God of the Kitchen,” the woman named Chupo introduced. ““Gastronomy is the art of using food to as medicine to enhance the chi, strengthen the body, while pleasuring the tongue.”

I cursed silently. Using food as medicine? Did gods even get sick? And why didn’t they just take medicine?

“Every ingredient has its own healing values. In four incenses of time, make a delicious soup that would neutralize bloat and phlegm to restore balance in the body. To receive ingredients, simply draw whatever you need,” Chupo said and flicked her fingers. Paper, inkstick, ink well, and brushes appeared in front of everyone.

I stood there not having the faintest clue what to do. Around me, people already finished grinding ink and bent over their paper. As they drew, actual ingredients popped out. Ta ma de, so I had to know what my ingredients looked like as well.

In our village, the ill ate chicken soup. My hands shaking, I began to draw a chicken. But my last stroke was too long, and a vulture flew out of my paper. It landed on Chupo and pecked her hair.

There was a roar of laughter from deities in the crowd.

“To hell with this,” I muttered. I didn’t need to score well; I just had to not fail. My real goal was to find my god so the mess with the villagers’ souls could be sorted out. With millions of deities here, how was I going to find him without knowing his name?

The answer flashed through my mind in the image of a tortoise. If all ingredients were available… then I could attempt an oracle!