Hyde entered the cabin and closed the door behind him. He leaned back against it, then let himself slide to the ground. He stared into the hallway.
Everything that had happened the last hour crashed down on him. The blurry image of the man holding Rune back, of the woman stabbing him, killing him. He could’ve saved him. If only he had been a second faster. If his damn head hadn’t disoriented him so much! Rune would be alive.
His breathing hadn’t slowed. It was quick and shallow. Tears welled in his eyes. He grabbed his shirt above his heart. He stared at the floor, his head spun. He closed his eyes.
Can you do something for me?
Tears fell down his face.
Breathe with me.
He inhaled, then let a shaky breath out.
In—
Hyde grabbed his hair and hid his head in his knees. He took a sharp breath.
—and out.
He blew his breath out.
“In,” he whispered and inhaled. “Out,” he breathed out.
There you go, keep going.
Hyde let himself breathe, slowly, in and out. He released his grip on his hair. He lifted his head and leaned the back of it against the door. Tears fell down his cheeks, his face trembled. He glanced at his bedroom door. That’s where it happened, that night.
His gaze moved to the door beside it. He hated the thought of that room being empty. He thought of them sitting on his bed, sharing their pasts. Of them playing piano together. Of when he woke up with Rune holding his hand. Of Rune sitting in the cell with his cheeks squished between the bars. He let a small smile appear on his face, through his tears. He thought of the night at the beach, of when they first kissed, of Rune’s stupidity when he wanted to kiss again.
Hyde squeezed more tears out. He stared into the empty hall. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t muster up the will to move.
What about Rune’s family? How was he supposed to tell them he’d never come back? He hadn’t even seen his grandad yet.
Selene seemed confident she’d succeed, but what if she didn’t? He’d be crushed again if he believed her. He couldn’t handle this pain a second time.
His head throbbed. He groaned. He needed to rest, like Selene told him. He pushed off the door, then managed to get to his feet. He sauntered into his bedroom. He let himself fall on the bed and didn’t bother to move more. He’d be okay with it if death came to take him, too.
Hyde laid in bed, his back towards the door, wearing Rune’s hoodie and hugging Rune’s pillow. They still had his scent on them. He missed his scent, it was so comforting and relaxing. He couldn’t get himself out of bed, he hadn’t eaten all day. He didn’t feel hungry, either. He certainly was resting, though. Physically.
Should he go to Corburn? Having his family’s emotional support could help. But what if Selene finished while he was away? He wanted to be here when she finished. Plus, he didn’t have the energy to walk all that way.
His front door opened.
“Hyde?” someone called.
It was Raven. Hyde tensed up in anger. What did she want, now?
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She opened the door to his bedroom. “Hey, here you are.”
There you are, shot through Hyde’s mind.
The bed bent down behind him. He groaned.
“Do you wanna take a walk with me? To take your mind off everything.”
Hyde growled and yanked himself up at her. “Would you leave me alone?!”
She flinched back. “I—I thought—”
“Didn’t you get the hint when I tried to maul you last week? I don’t like you! Leave me alone!” He gave her a threatening glare.
She teared up.
Hyde scoffed at it. He laid back down. “Go cry somewhere else.”
She stood up. “What is wrong with you?! You’ve never been this cruel before!”
“There’s nothing between us, there never will be. I’m tired of tolerating you to spare your feelings.”
She choked up and ran away.
Hyde was alone again. Was he too harsh? Maybe. But he didn’t care. It was about time she let go of these delusions of hers.
I could’ve saved you.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
Come back.
I want you back.
I miss you.
Hyde sat on his bed, face covered in tears, jaw clenched, letting his hand run amok on his notebook with no thought.
Open your eyes.
Hug me.
Hold me.
Breathe with me.
Dried tears covered the pages, crumpled in his tight hold.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Don’t go.
Please.
Don’t go!
Don’t go!
He scratched the pen over the paper so hard it went through several pages and nearly ripped the current one off. He cried out and flung his notebook against the wall.
He stared at the notebook laid open on the floor, on the page with the little drawing he’d made of Rune sleeping. He couldn’t control his sobs anymore, he pulled at the roots of his hair and wept.
----------------------------------------
It had been over a week. Hyde wanted to talk to Rune. He knew Selene could contact him—if he lingered, that is. Surely he did, after such a sudden, violent death. Their relationship only now started getting somewhere, Rune still had to see his grandfather, he’d promised his sisters he’d come back soon; there was no way he was ready to move on to whatever was next.
Selene was confident she could bring him back, Hyde was sceptical. It sounded ridiculous, bringing the dead fully back. She’d already turned Rune into a zombie, but that wasn’t the same. Could a soul be reunited with its body after being severed?
Selene opened her front door after he’d knocked.
“What? You’re keeping me from my research.”
“I… can you contact him anyway?”
“Why?”
“I miss him.” He choked up a little.
Selene sighed. “Be patient. The more you distract me with things like that, the longer it’ll take before he’ll actually come back.”
It sounded like a promise. An empty one. Sure, she was so full of herself to believe she could reverse death itself, but what evidence was there that she could? She could make corpses move. That was it.
“Why should I trust that’ll happen? I have no reason to believe you actually could!” Hyde was visibly agitated.
“Have some trust. Go home, take a shower, and then a nap. You’re a mess.”
Hyde let out a loud groan, a near growl, and stormed off.
He did smell awful. Days lying in bed rolling around in your own sweat would do that to you.
Hyde stood in front of his bathroom door. He grabbed his head with a groan and leaned his forehead against the wood. His head throbbed; even that brief trip was too much stimulation.
He entered the bathroom, then stood over the sink and examined himself in the mirror. He was a mess. He hadn’t trimmed his beard all week, it was thick and getting quite long. His hair was unwashed and getting tangled in ways he’d never let happen before. The plaster on his temple needed a change.
He peeled at the plaster, it came off with ease. He threw it in the small bin, then turned the shower on.
He returned to the mirror. The wound was healing, but there was still a huge bruise. He doubted it’d go away anytime soon. He brushed his fingers over it, then winched and flinched his hand away. He sighed.
He wondered what Rune would think if he saw him like this. What he would do. He’d comfort him, take care of him. He’d hold him—after a shower—maybe try to untangle his hair.
He undressed, all the while trembling as his emotions became unbearable. Water rinsed down his body, down the locks of hair hiding his watering eyes. He hugged himself, squeezing his upper arms. His face quaked. He sharply inhaled, then gave up on stopping his tears. He stepped back against the shower wall and sunk to the floor. He leaned his forehead on his knee and cried.
The moon was full. Hyde laid curled up on his bed, the bottom half of his face buried in Rune’s pillow. He cried and whined, the pillow was soaked.
He wanted his scent. He wanted his cuddles. He wanted his presence. His wolf heart ached at the loss of his favourite person.
He wanted to rub against him, rub his scent on him. He wanted to be held by him, for him to run his fingers through his hair, to pet his ear, to scratch his neck and jaw.
He dug his whole face into the pillow, he wanted to be surrounded by his scent as much as he could. He whined again.
Come back.
Please.
Favourite person, lover, partner, mate.
Please, come back.