Thore’s leg wound was hard to bandage. I kept thinking about Karl’s face. Luckily, it was a clean wound. Bullet went through and came out the other side. If Karl had used one of my guns the wound would have closed itself and made things a little tougher to deal with. My hands were shaking, and it took Aaimina and Niko to finish the bandaging for me. I let them pack things up so I can go sit in the rover and get my mind together before we take off. I grip the steering wheel with both hands, trying to keep my hands steady.

“Hey, how you feeling,” I didn’t hear Marshall get in.

“On edge, I can’t calm down but I don’t have any energy either. My hands keep shaking and I keep seeing his body just sitting there. I can’t even remember what his face looks like. It’s just him there with a black hole, taunting me.”

“Just swallow it,” Marshall responds seriously.

“What?”

“Just swallow it. Put it deep down inside you and let it go. You’re swimming in your own thoughts. They’ll eat you alive if you keep thinking about it. He was going to kill us all, you didn’t have any other choice.”

“I could have found a different way, if I just had more time.”

“We don’t have time,” Thore grunts as he lifts his body into the rover on one leg.

“Sorry I couldn’t bandage your leg better,” I apologize.

“Don’t worry. Killing is hard. That man I bludgeoned, his name was Adam. That man stands beside me every single day. Sometimes I wonder if his family is searching for him, or if they’re already dead. I don’t close my heart to it. I hold on to his memory, cherishing the fact that I’m alive,” Thore always has beautiful words. A gentleman in a giant’s body.

“Well, I’m grateful that you’re alive,” Niko hops in. “You too Thore. The way you screamed, I thought you were dead,” Niko still manages to make a joke.

“How about I shoot you, and we see what kind of noise you make?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Niko responds.

“How about, nobody gets shot,” Aaimina slams the door behind her.

“Yeah, I’m with her,” Marshall says rubbing his shoulder.

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“He’s a good shot,” Aaimina laughs.

“Better than I thought,” Marshall fastens his harness. “Hopefully he’s gotten better at driving.”

“Alright, alright,” I press the button and the rover roars to life.

There’s some scraping as I pull it off the wall, but from there, no issues. There’s one issue. Nobody seems to be bothered by a child’s blood covering the inside of the rover. The ceiling is splattered with her blood. It’s on some of the seats and the floor. It’s soaked into the fabric, it’ll be there forever. Everyone is trying to talk and change the subject about the family we just wiped out while the blood is still fresh. The blood bothers me, the fact that nobody cares bothers me.

“There’s a hotel near the lab, we can sleep there for the night,” Marshall says as he scrolls through the map.

“Wow, you’re going to let us sleep,” Aaimina feigns shock.

“You’re stealing my thunder, I make the bad jokes,” Niko laughs.

“Karl must have really scared you if you’re wanting a break,” Thore jokes.

“No, but Mr. Bullseye over here really made me think he was about to blow a hole in my head,” Marshall jokes and the others laugh.

I make it to the hotel with no trouble. The whole thing is empty but there are plenty of grubs walking around outside. The good news is the hotel is just two blocks away from the lab. It’s a good spot to rest for the night and decide what to do in the morning. While the others head inside I choose to stay with the rover.

This entire situation could have been preventable. We should have had regular checks on the planet. We should have sent more than a group made up of unprepared soldiers and scientists. If I had never agreed to this mission, I could be preparing for bed in my own home. A home I’ll never see again. I don’t have any hope for rescue. I expect to die here. If not by a grub, then by another person.

That rescue is never coming. They’re going to see what’s going on here and get out of town. If not, they’ll take a look at the information Marshall and I give them, and decide that we’re too dangerous to take off world. When they were in the hospital suggesting that they join a society built outside of the city, it sounded insane. Now I’m curious if that’s not a bad idea. Green Valley University seems to be under siege; there’s no reason we couldn’t find some other survivors and take it. They’ve can harvest their own food, it wouldn’t be a bad place to live.

“Hey,” Aaimina waves a hand in front of my face.

“Oh, hey what’s going on?”

“We found spirits inside. It’ll take the edge off.”

“Yeah, that’ll help. Pour me a glass, I’ll be in soon. I just want to watch the sunset for a little longer.”

“Marshall said you’re beating yourself up about killing Karl. Please don’t, if you hadn’t done it, we’d all be dead. You’re a hero after all,” she gives me a kiss on my cheek and takes off into the hotel.

That woman makes my heart flutter, and still calms me down at the same time. That kiss really makes me feel as if things are going to be okay. My mind keeps telling me otherwise, but I want it to be. I want thigs to be okay. No matter how different it is to the life I was living beforehand, I just want to live a life with some normalcy after this. A life where I’m not shooting and running to survive every day. That’s all I want now. I’ve already killed a man for it, there’s not much else I won’t do.