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1.31 – Grief

I checked the rover hood, and it’s cooled, but not enough that we can take off yet. There’s no major damage, just cosmetic, beyond the heat there’s only one other problem. Marilyn is still inside the vehicle, cradling her dead daughter’s body and none of us have the heart to move her. Karl has tried to calm her, but he’s only been met with the same treatment Marshall gives him. I’m sorry he lost his daughter, and the emotional connection with his wife but I have no other sympathy for him. Especially not after the man attacked me and tried to steal the rover for himself. Nobody objected when I demanded his gun be taken away unless we’re in an emergency.

Our group decided to set up on the roof, if it rains we’ll have to move inside, but the rooftop provides a view where we can spot the hoards moving below. It’ll let us find a fast route once we get the chance to move out of here. One thing is for certain, Kyra was attracting the grubs. Since she’s been, exterminated, we haven’t had any issue with the grubs. Her screams were luring them, the fact that several have walked past the building without a second glance towards us was all I needed to prove my theory. I’m just upset I didn’t have proof sooner. I would have sided with Marshall and sent the family on their own way if I did. It could have saved us time, a crash and a lot of therapy sessions in the future.

I watch from the roof as Karl makes another attempt to reach Marilyn. He knocks on the door of the rover for several minutes before she opens it. I can’t hear what they’re saying but I can read body language enough to know what’s happening. Karl’s shoulders are slumped, his head is held low. He’s either grieving or ashamed of what has happened here. Marilyn’s body language is the opposite, exaggerated and erratic. She’s not so much grieving as she is angry. I don’t know if she’s angry with us or Karl, maybe both.

“If they take off in our rover, I’m shooting out the wheels,” Marshall says, locking a scope to his rifle.

“Don’t worry, the rover is too hot to go anywhere right now.”

“We need to get moving as soon as possible. We’ve got time, but not enough time. Making up some distance before night time will be important,” he pauses and laughs, “since you went the wrong way.”

“Little hard to drive with a traitorous bastard and his wife trying to claw your eyes out, while their mutant daughter screams in the backseat causing more and more grubs to attack.”

“Wow, I was just making a little joke, trying to lighten the mood.”

“You’ve picked a strange time to adopt a sense of humor.”

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“Well, good job out there anyway. We wouldn’t have gotten out of there without you. Good job with the plan for handling the girl as well.”

“Thanks,” I guess.

We watch as Karl enters the rover with Marilyn and the door closes behind them. Marshall decides to take Thore and “check on them,” but I know he just doesn’t trust them. I told them the rover is in no condition to go anywhere, but he doesn’t believe it.

I take a seat next to Aaimina on the roof. She’s searching through the items in her bag, not really looking for anything specific. Earlier she told me we did the right thing but I don’t think she believes it. I think this whole thing is slowly breaking her mind.

“Karly and Marilyn, can you believe them,” I try to start a conversation.

“Yeah,” her words are hurried, “why would they try to hide a sick kid?”

“I guess it’s love,” I still want to know if she likes me as if I’m some lovestruck teenager.

“Love makes people do crazy things. I get it, but they risked their lives.”

“I guess I wouldn’t know. I never found that special person so I never got married. What about you?”

“Once when I was 22 but we got it annulled. Don’t know what we were thinking. Well, I was young and dumb, did it right as summer started. He was so sure it would laugh but we barely knew each other. It was such a dumb thing. I’m so quick to fall in love,” she laughs, and relaxes. “I’m so dumb for just falling in love on a whim.”

“There’s nothing wrong with falling in love. Every couple doesn’t turn into Karl and Marilyn.”

“A lot of couples don’t get to witness the end of a planet,” she jokes.

“Well, let’s hope we don’t end up like them,” crap, why did I say that.

She stares at me for a moment, “yeah, let’s make sure we don’t end up like them.”

I don’t push the conversation forward, I’m flirting with death in more than one right now. I still don’t know if she’s interested or just letting me keep hope alive. Niko comes and joins us having grown bored sitting by himself.

“Aaimina, why don’t you check Duane for bites,” Niko jokes but nobody laughs.

“Niko, have you ever fallen off of a rooftop before,” Aaimina asks. “I have, but trust me, it’s not as bad as it seems. Would you like to try?”

“I think he’d love some help,” I add.

“Wow, you too are way too sensitive. You’re perfect for each other,” he scoots a little further away.

“Don’t worry, we’ll find you a nice grub girl to spend time with,” I respond. “Do you like them with six eyes or compound eyes,” I ask.

“If you’re going to get me a grub, get me a boy grub, with a fat booty,” he burst into laughter.

Nikos’ laughter is contagious. It doesn’t take long before Aaimina and I are laughing along with him. The whole situation is terrible but laughter helps. I hope it helps, I hope I can laugh at the absurdity of this one day. Every day that I live through this, I feel that it’s less and less likely to have a positive end.

I don’t want to die here, but the thought has crossed my mind a lot since we’ve landed on this planet. Watching Kyra, a kid, die from this madness has only brought the thought towards the front of my mind. We’re constantly surrounded by death, and at war with it. How much longer can I continue to deny it?