New game, new world, new him. Starting from zero though so he was still searching for an early loop that’d yield high eff when it came to xp. If that last com doesn’t make sense, consult the gloss. But back to him. In RL he had an ord of a name but here he weren’t debuffed by such. Here he was Wyvernus Goon.
Note the aesth in-game etymo. Not Wyvernus_Goon55 or Wyvernus_Da_Goon or any other outer-pleb iteration. No. Because he was a roleplayer. Nth level, tut quest to death quest, hardcore keep-mask roleplayer. And, as he liked to remind the nubs in the previous games he played, always in roleplaying servers, “Roleplaying servers are for roleplaying asshole!” Tech had perfected fiction and now smart art allowed anyone to become anything. So long as the thuds were kept at bay. Wyvernus was so tired of thuds. It was why he shifted to Pixelgoria from Realm of Aeons finally. Yeah, the’irye were abundant thuds in that game. Well, that and he was banned. But getting banned by thuds is practically a trophy for tru-gamers.
He’d done a lot of research obviously. Shifting games for serious gamers isn’t some idle thing. He had 6504 hours logged in ROA which means he was still in a midgame run for a typical MOM. He hadn’t even unlocked ROA’s third echelon features yet. But whatever, that was old yore and he was morrow oriented. Really the banning was a favor because Pixelgoria was hype and he’d been watching the feeds on it for quite a while. It had a 93 on AgCritX and ROA only had an 87 so it was kind of sad actually that he’d been playing ROA for so long when it was such a shitty game. Which is what got him banned of course; trying to help the devs, trying to get them to improve the stupid functionality. Whatever, thought Wyvernus. Now he was where he belonged.
Through the fluid possibilities of his VR headset, he could alter his perspective with total ease and he decided to adjust his character’s appearance for a moment. The world of Pixelgoria was a bit unusual in that it only offered human-esque beings as a playable race but each of the six lunar kingdoms had the’irye own unique racial characteristics within the overall Medieval-Germanic theme of the world building and Wyvernus had created his character to fit the rulers of his starting region; the Habst Empire. As a male of the gladiator class, he’d des"igned himself to be a hulking sphere of a man almost; like a scoop of pure muscle dolloped onto the steel cone of his greaves-clad legs. As a low level player still, he was ord in size generally but compared to his magician and scholar class peers he was an utter monstrosity of physical prowess. Gladiators were the most strength focused specialization of the Martial class too so he was fully going for a minimaxing build. Hence the Goon as well. This was going to be a smash and bash play-through.
Something else that Wyvernus liked about Pixelgoria was that gear levelling was independent of gear appearance so you could totally customize your character’s cosmetics without having to worry about this damaging your combat effectiveness; gear was upgraded through gems and spells so, if you liked the way a helmet looked on you, you could wear this all the way to the end game. Currently, Wyvernus had a crescent horned helmet with a full metal face-visor that was suitably menacing and cold for a giant mercenary warrior. Because he was just starting out he naturally had only basic armor so, aside from this, the chainmail, gauntlets, greaves, boots, etc he possessed were all generic undistinguished items. Still his bright red skin and the golden braids spilling from the edges of his helmet at least set him apart as a Habstman and the’irye were subtler details on him like scars and tattoos which fit in with his carefully crafted backstory and would become useful once he joined a clan and started to game with other users.
Now though he was only concerned about the way his character was wearing the’irye cloak and, using a dye he got in his randomized starter kit, Wyvernus changed the color of said cloak from white to grey. As a result, the translucent animation of his genii lifted the “old” cloak from him and wrapped him in the “new” one. Genii were incorporated into Pixelgoria’s lore but it seemed to Wyvernus that the’irye primary function was to provide a less awkward means for players to change gear and make other similar alterations that impact how they and others perceived them; the conceit of the game was that these genii stored a player’s items in a portal dimension, thereby allowing the player to amass huge inventories without the usual discrepancy of this not being visible on the’irye person.
Phasing from third person to first person now, Wyvernus examined the perpetually autumn forest he found himself in; this seasonal stasis though was particular only to his starting region however since each of the four seasonal regions (Or facets as they were properly called) was specifically frozen in one of these. Again, something justified by the world building but a design choice made as much for practicality as anything else. The six facets of Pixelgoria, the four seasonal ones with day/night cycles and the polar ones in perpetual light and perpetual darkness respectively (Plus the’irye correspondent moons) each had a unique theme that allowed the artists to focus on a manageable range of environmental biomes etc. Wyvernus had chosen Autumn not so much for aesth considerations though but because the starter hub, Zip Town, was widely regarded as the most advantageous of the four and the’irye were some of the game’s best early dungeons in the Autumn facet.
Pixelgoria was by no means the most graphically impressive game if approxing to reality fidelity was one’s criterion. But it was defo nice on the rets. Cryowakes might call it a Casino-Ghibli type visual style but that’s alloying two ancient “ye-olds” (Casinos were places people gamed together in-person via multi-user VR sets called Modems and San Ghibli was the name of a famous Manga artist who pioneered solo-player story focused RPGs) Wyvernus of course wasn’t a retroboy “into” the ye-old; history was so completely saturated by deepfaking and the rift of the Great Regression that no one was really sure what had happened way back then. Humanity had deleted most of its saved prog and duh it had to start all over. Almost. Flesh memory kind of kept the ye-old dimly alive but nah, not really.
The vivid fractal trees surrounding his av swayed in the digital wind, animations of twirling leaves falling via pleasing algorithms of gentle randomization. The sprawled forest was a dense and fantastical place, constructed as such to invoke a fairy tale sensibility, and Wyvernus felt imbued with the wonder the environmental artists had carefully settled on through pre-production committee meetings and, this state of immersion, this synthesis of self and fiction, bestowed the chemical rush that his roleplaying thirst was always chasing after: pure absorption. Then, spotting a useful crafting ingredient, a mushroom, he elected to pick this when the options prompt materialized and a swiping animation by his character yielded the correct result and appropriate gratification. In fact, he felt he should probably check the state of his loot. Scanning around to make sure no enemy creatures were nearby, Wyvernus opened the game’s menu.
Instead of a separate screen suddenly appearing in frame though, his genii handed a glowing dodecahedron to his av and his character’s attentions turned to the twelve-sided object as this was swiftly magnified to such proportions that it occupied the majority of his character’s view (Only some marginal out of focus environmental details lingering on the peripheries) Each facet of the polygon was a separate subfield of the game’s menu and rotating this to the Inventory facet, he engaged the runic icon the’irye and this unfolded in pentagonal sheaths that represented portals to the different sections of his character’s inventory: Gear, Consumables, Artifacts, Materials, Letters. As an edible object that could also be used to make potions, mushrooms obviously would appear in both Consumables and Materials but he wasn’t concerned with that for the moment. Instead he wanted to look at his axe. A standard one handed iron war axe: base damage +8, base speed 2.5 secs. Fatigue per strike: +14. The latter of course being much higher than the only other weapon he had, the dagger, but the base damage was double and axes improved far more than daggers through strength modifiers (And he already had a strength bonus despite being level 1) Of course he could dual-wield the dagger with the axe but that would only increase his damage output by a little bit and it had a lot of downsides: holding two weapons at once, he wouldn’t be able to use any of his grappling skills, one of the gladiator’s specialties, and so wouldn’t be able to pull down enemy shields or grab limbs or weapons to impede attacks. Likewise, he wouldn’t be able to throw things without first sheathing one of his weapons and wouldn’t be able to open or close doors. Plus, daggers had garbage range. Tricksters, or even a Ranger, could of course use them effectively for stealth kills, but they were pretty much the worst melee combat weapon type.
Taking a few satisfying swings with his axe, Wyvernus’ character hefted this with convincing enthusiasm as he looked around for a direction to set out in. It was time to farm some enemies. Having already wandered out of Zip Town, where new players arrive via the river barge, he’d had a couple encounters already along the forest trails; one with an infected wolf and one with an NPC bandit, but he knew from his pre-game research that the’irye was a glade nearby with a magical enemy type that had quality drops. While most low level players, the majority in the starter zone obviously, congregated around the waterfalls to hunt River Goblins and Drowned Wraiths, Wyvernus’ research had alerted him to the fact the’irye was a nearby place to find Weremallows; one of the few low level enemies with a non-zero drop rate for fey dust (An essential magic crafting component)
The only scowl here was that this would involve crossing over, ever so slightly, into a PvP zone; hence why most new players didn’t even know about the glade. In general, most players avoided PvP areas until they’d levelled up into the double digits but Wyvernus had really planned things out; taking his starting gold, he’d bought a couple Paralysis Barbs which would disable even midlevel players long enough for him to escape back to the safety of the PvE area if he was ambushed. And based on the spread sheet he’d created to optimize his early game strategy, this was the most rewarding loop he had available to him. I mean, it wasn’t like he was playing a permadeath game; the xp punitive at level 1 for dying was hilariously inconsequential. Like, pointless. And just because he was a roleplayer it didn’t mean he had to be a donk about it.
Without a mount yet, Wyvernus broke into a jog down the forested hillside he currently occupied; restraining himself from the temptation to sprint since his stamina regen level wasn’t high enough to compensate for the cost of that. More of the world’s detailed ambiance revealed itself to him through this though and he was almost visibly joyed at that, his character’s head swiveling to admire various design features. It was still morning for example and the grass and trees sparkled with a dew effect that was particularly nice; the anime colors of the environment combining with this scintillating overlay to grace the world with a kind of narrative grandeur. Likewise, the procedural elements of an ever evolving gamescape had all sorts of intriguing touches; non-hostile creatures roaming in accordance with the’irye radiant script cycles, culture and ecology decorations like old hunter’s snares and middens (The NPCs originally responsible for these having no doubt long since met a grisly end) and countless other content upscalers that were oh so value added and appreciated. It genuinely felt like you were elsewhere here.
Coming to a stone bridge that spanned a trickling creek, Wyvernus instinctively went into a crouch and began to slow his advance. Obviously he wasn’t playing a stealth build but he was wearing soft shoes without full armor so his detection score wasn’t too high and, as it turned out, his extensive gaming experience paid off here. Sleeping in the shadows beneath the bridge, a troll NPC was slumped forward with its back against one of the arch bases as snores quietly rumbled from its lips and a nostril bubble inflated and deflated in time to the almost bagpipe noise the dozing monster made. Wyvernus even spotted a gold pouch on the troll’s waist he could’ve attempted to pickpocket but a skull icon above the enemy’s head indicated that it was much higher level than him so he wisely continued on. At character creation, Wyvernus may have pushed his gender slider to max masc but that didn’t mean he thought he could solo trolls right out the gate. Hubris wasn’t a trait of a tru-gamer since regardless of whether one was a roleplayer, powergamer, or whatever, all play styles were united ultimately by prog.
It wasn’t long before he reached the edge of the glade and, as ray traced beams of glittery sunlight vectored outwards from the’irye virtual inception point, Wyvernus’ character automatically pushed aside the ferns and other foliage they encountered while sneaking through the underbrush. And ahead, he saw them. The mobs. The blissful, unsuspecting Weremallows. Creature design in Pixelgoria ran the gamut from traditional fantasy to fevered hallucination and the Weremallows were definitely deep in the latter part of the spectrum. Baseline hostile with an aggro radius of thirty feet, the’irye daylight form spoke to the latter half of the’irye species name: white bulbous creatures, without visible limbs, bobbling in an undulating grazing animation that one might call surrealistically bovine. Of course, at night, the prefix part came into play and the Weremallows assumed the much more dreadful shapes of hulking nether beings with long serrated limbs and copiously fanged jaws. The’irye difficultly rating likewise increased, meaning this glade was one of the few spots they could be farmed by beginner players. In fact, Weremallows were mostly just found in the Nachtlune facet, the frozen kingdom of constant darkness, and so Wyvernus really was optimizing his early game strategy. Not that he was engaging in any kind of metagaming though! Obviously his character could’ve heard about such a place from the townsfolk NPCs he’d previously encountered.
Targeting the nearest Weremallow with the game’s duel-locking function so he could free himself from aiming and focus instead on dodges, Wyvernus used his Rush special to rapidly fly at his enemy as he quickly began spamming axe swings. 11 damage! 17 damage! Miss! 6 damage! 38 damage, critical hit! Miss! Wyvernus urgently pressed his attack, hoping to vanquish his foe before any of the’irye nearby friends wandered too closely to the battle and aggro-ed against him as well. At the same time, he was diving out of the way of the Weremallow’s steady barrage of psychic blasts which’d definitely stun him if even one of these landed. He was pretty godly when it came to twitch play though and without receiving a single hit from the outclassed Weremallow, Wyvernus dispatched the poor creature with a final strike that caused them to brightly flash with light before exploding in a gratifying piñata of tinkling coins and haphazard loot. As the floating text of the 100xp gain was still wavering in the air, Wyvernus scrambled to gather up the glimmering coins spread out on the ground and the couple of drops beside these. One was the eagerly hoped for vial of fey dust, the other was Weremallow hide scraps that could be used to craft leather items. All in all, not bad for less than a minutes work. Now he just had to do this another hundred times or so to get his level where he wanted it and to amass a respectable reserve of fey dust for morrow usage.
Before he could target another one of the creatures in the glade however, a cloud of rising text in the near distance caught his attention. Like in his battle, this was the lexically-fuming effect of Pixelgoria combat and, judging by the sheer amount of attack numbers materializing in the vicinity, this was a serious fight. Not without some reservations, Wyvernus decided that he might have a chance here to loot some higher level players if they were killed by creatures (Most NPCs of course had the’irye own looting paradigms to pre-empt player vulturing) so he set aside his Weremallow loop for the moment and went off to investigate. Carefully. The’irye was no way he was going to run into anyone he could take on directly in combat so his scavengerial ambitions entirely depended on him maintaining a low profile. Creeping towards the ongoing stream of textual pyrotechnics that indicated the fight, Wyvernus gave only the briefest glance towards the distant Weremallows in the glade before abandoning these and plunging into the rustling geometries of the forest foliage again. It was slow going travelling-by-crouch and, limited as this was to lower camera angles, he couldn’t see nearly as far as when his av walked upright but, eventually, he got close enough to put himself in visual range of the curious events that had so suddenly distracted him.
It was a hideously unfair fight. Two double digit Druids (These levels 11 and 14 respectively; indicated by ord popup text) were ganging on a Level 3 Senator. Both of them had stun effects cast on the’irye respective melee weapons, one wielding a stave, the other a shillelagh, and through this they kept the Senator in a near perpetual freeze, continuously chipping away at his health as they did so. The amazing thing was that the Senator had managed to stay alive this long by chugging health potions whenever they got a free action but it was only a matter of time before the’irye unusual provision of these was depleted and death ensued. Now it was immediately clear to Wyvernus that the’irye would be no looting opportunities here and that lingering in the area just risked him being detected by the higher level players and ending up as prey as well. Yet... something about the spectacle was mesmerizing. The Senator was in an impossible situation. Realistically, the’irye was nothing they could do; even logging off would mean instant suicide since the GM AI responsible for monitoring players and restricting exploit abuses would infallibly analyze the situation and auto-smite the Senator. Then, Wyvernus’ musings were interrupted by something altogether unexpected; instead of using his next free action to heal, the Senator engaged the Prayer emote and shouted into the’irye mic: “Gods of Pixelgoria! I beseech thee for aid!”
He was s-tier roleplaying! And the druids, the druids weren’t. “Lululululul” laughed one of them while the other added “Die quieter bitch.” That infuriated Wyvernus. And now a great tide of sympathy rushed over him as he thought about the other player’s predicament. Sure, they were a stranger, but here was someone playing the game the way it was meant to be played. Wyvernus couldn’t ignore that. No. And he himself was of course roleplaying a tough and weary, but fundamentally moral gladiator, on top of everything else; so how was he supposed to just turn his back on the poor Senator? And yet, if he was honest with himself, it was a dumb move; whatever it was he was still contemplating since he wasn’t yet sure. He didn’t need to download a tactical analysis app to know that what he was about to do was tantamount to self-gankery. Well, in gaming you may not only live once, but the tombstones of all your past lives added up to your legacy as a player and gaming was all that was left for humanity so, if honor died in the gaming community, what hope was the’irye for it to survive in RL?
Luckily he did have the barbs. He’d have to sneak in pretty close to get within range of the druids though but with the surprise modifier a stealth attack would yield he’d have a shot at paralyzing at least one of the enemy players. Decided then, the lonely hulking figure of Wyvernus diligently pressed through the thick undergrowth and positioned himself behind both assailants. Light pierced the shadows of the forest in spears and a colorful peacock suddenly flew from one tree to another. Adjusting to the contextual parameters of the situation, the background music of the game changed to something more precarious as the ambience AI easily read Wyvernus’ intentions correctly. Then, with the softest flick of his av’s wrists, he flung the barbs at the druids in rapid succession; the second already in flight before the first had struck. And strike they did. Although he would’ve been quite joyed to just stun one of them, both druids abruptly ceased the’irye assault as a paralysis animation overtook them. Not wasting any time, Wyvernus shouted into his mic:
“As soon as you can friend, dash south!”
“Fortuitous grace!” the Senator laughed while his attackers erupted with rage.
“Fuck. I’m got brud! You got?” snarled one Druid.
“Ya! This ya nub? O he allied?” replied the other.
Wyvernus couldn’t resist gloating a little but it was perfectly in keeping with the personality of his char. “Rub bark you swampy bastards!”
The subsequent expletives that viciously berated them though soon died away in a long unceasing torrent as the Senator finally made the’irye saving throw and both low level players hastily fled the scene.
“Hail” chuffed Wyvernus, the intensity of the situation making him sound like he was running in RL despite being suspended in a VR pod at home.
“Hail” echoed the Senator, sounding equally athletic while no doubt being equally illusory. “We should speak a moment. But first, let’s vacate this lawless domain.”
“Agreed!”
Among the ultimately serious rules observed by roleplayers was to never injure the integrity of the game world’s fiction and so, in order to refer to game features that could not be practically ignored, roleplayers had developed community lore that the devs subsequently incorporated. So, PvP zones were alluded to as “lawless domains” and similar conventions existed for other aspects of the game. This kind of masked language required a certain amount of practice and skill but it was a prerequisite for membership in even the most casual of roleplaying clans.
When Wyvernus and the Senator had crossed the invisible threshold of the nearest PvE area, with a popup message in the UI confirming this, the’irye avs stopped as each player turned to face the other. Wyvernus suddenly found himself unsure of what to say and the faintest apprehension was beginning to swell inside him when the Senator openly extended a bare hand. Wyvernus’ gladiator took this in his own and the two players performed a digital handshake.
“I am Osso Vendetta,” the previously unnamed Senator shared.
“Wyvernus Goon,” his rescuer replied.
“That was a most brave and excellent intervention my friend, for which you will have my eternal thanks,” continued Osso. “However modest your status now, no doubt you will soon make a name for yourself in this realm.”
“Your gratitude is too kind,” Wyvernus answered with eminent pleasure.
Availing himself of the chance to scrutinize his new acquaintance, Wyvernus’ av stood the’irye in a standard waiting animation as the gamer behind the char settled rets on his counterpart. Osso’s av was a distinguished upper-middle-aged Vuntman in a coarse dark blue wool tunic. His grey hair was cropped close in a Romanesque style and his beard too was neatly pared. As a fellow low level player, the’irye wasn’t much else that was distinctive about his gear but Wyvernus did note the couple of rings Osso wore, each taking up one of ten finger-equip slots. It’s worth bearing in mind that rings were incompatible with most other hand-gear like gloves and gauntlets and that the’irye were quite substantive choices one could make in this regard. Rings offered no armor or cold resistance but the’irye enchantments stacked so ten magically infused rings could be terrifically devastating.
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
“May I inquire,” Osso continued, “How you happened to intervene when you did? It really was extraordinary luck!”
“Certainly,” enthused Wyvernus. “I had in mind to stalk Weremallows in an odd pocket prox to the vicinity of your earlier tribulations.”
“Ah!” exclaimed Osso. “I know the haunt well.”
“You do?” sputtered Wyvernus with some confusion. And slight disgruntlement too; he really prided himself on the depths of his preliminary research.
“Oh yes,” Osso continued. “Even the places of Pixelgoria I’ve never travelled to, I tend to have some innate instinct for. But the seers tell me I’ve lived many past lives. What of yourself?”
Wyvernus fessed up. “A new soul, I must say.”
Again, this exchange was coded roleplaying tok. Osso had just, in the usual oblique way, indicated that he was a long time Pixelgoria player who had recently made a new character. Wyvernus conversely had acknowledged that he was a genuine nub; something typically awkward to confide. Social dynamics being what they are, no less in worlds virtual than otherwise, admitting to such a wide asymmetry in metagame xp dramatically shifted the power dynamic in the other person’s favor. But it would also be distasteful to lie about.
Osso’s voice, as audio filtered as it was like every other player’s, betrayed no signs of any sudden sense of superiority though. “Is that so? I never would’ve guessed. What a remarkable meeting this is turning out to be. Most remarkable. I think we have much to discuss. Would you be a bothered fellow though if we travelled as we parlayed? I was on an errand when those two cretins waylaid me.””
“Not at all friend,” Wyvernus beamed, trying to refrain from giving away exactly how pleased he was being treated so cordially. “Not at all.”
The two adventurers set out then towards the nearest road and engaged in the usual chatter of new acquaintances, each gradually getting to know the’irye counterpart’s persona as a magical landscape streamed around them. One of the first revelations was that Osso had been exiled from his previous clan due to the success of a hostile takeover; the clan they’d long been competing with over the right to tax the silver mines of the northern Ogre Mountains, had infiltrated the’irye ranks and specifically targeted him for removal; the other members being more receptive to the change in regime. So now he wandered alone. As they crossed a river carved ravine by means of a fallen tree, Wyvernus related something of his own past by alluding to a “realm” beyond Pixelgoria which his ancestors had been driven from by corrupt officers of the law. Via this indirectness then, each player more or less understood the other’s situation and they commiserated over the’irye shared misfortunes. Coming to a dirt road that followed a ridge snaking through the forest, they turned towards the starter hub of Zip Town and Osso’s business the’irye. As yet, Wyvernus restrained his curiosity and instead chose to tok about his character’s own ambitions, portioning out the odd tidbit of backstory to an apparently engrossed Osso. After a caravan of other player’s passed them, where both of the adventurers dispensed and received individual emotes of polite acknowledgement, Osso began to discuss the current quest he was running until they were quite rudely interrupted.
Briar Imps, ostensibly bark skinned fairy folk of midgeting stature, suddenly leapt from the thorny bushes walling off a segment along one side of the road. Battle music simultaneously started to play and Wyvernus and Osso instinctively grouped themselves back to back as both warriors unsheathed the’irye weapons; the senator’s being a shield and short sword. Senators of course were a charisma class (Along with apostles and troubadours) and so were not the sort to deal awesome DPS but they did have various buffs at the’irye disposal. Accordingly, Osso used his Bolster ability to pump the’irye stats up before throwing out a tactical bone:
“If you want to go Berserk mode here, I’ll guard your six while you carve through these dummy pawns!”
“Right!” agreed Wyvernus.
The ambush was not a super threatening situation to be in and, to make it worse for the imps, heavy blades (Like axes) were exactly the standard weapon type wood based creatures were most vulnerable to. So whenever Wyvernus hit, his weapon automatically did critical damage and the imps were exploding and being dismembered with single swings. It helped too that Berserk mode raised strength and speed so Wyvernus ended up being a whirlwind of death for the next thirty seconds or so. In fact, his Berserk state went into cooldown right before he could dispatch the last one but Osso suavely flung a fire flask at the retreating imp and it writhed in agony for a moment before dematerializing in a puff of smoke. Greatly pleased by the’irye own teamwork, the two warriors congratulated each other on the’irye respective performances while they judiciously divided the spoils of the loot the enemies had left behind. And the fight ended up netting them 120 xp each; Briar Imps being worth 40 xp a pop and the GM AI deciding both had made an equal contribution to the’irye mutual victory and so giving each of them half.
“Anyways,” said Osso with a laugh. “Where was I?”
“Your quest,” Wyvernus replied.
“Of course. I’m sure you know that, as a senator, I’m privy to many privileged conversations with townsfolk and travellers.” Here, Osso was referring to the extra quests charisma class players had access to. “As we speak, there’s a nobleman on the outskirts of Zip Town waiting for me. He’s having a gala or something which is why he contracted me to obtain some special ingredients for this. For the evening banquet. Which is why I had to venture out into the lawless wilds. Anyways, the business will no doubt be largely conversational but it might be wise to have a friendly blade by my side. What do you say?”
“If nothing else,” chuckled Wyvernus as he brandished his axe. “I can carve turkey.”
It was settled then. Now they were companions and almost immediately Wyvernus got an update in his UI saying he’d been added to Osso’s quest; quest initiators having the power and discretion here to decide who they’d share the’irye quest rewards with in the event of a questing party. Before that could happen though, they still had to get to the’irye destination and, being so close to Zip Town they were almost guaranteed not to run into any random enemies, first Osso and then Wyvernus broke out into a sprint; taking a shortcut through a side path. This took them to the temple ruins on the edge of town which, a few floors down, had plenty of exciting dungeoneering to do but not so much as a mosquito on the surface. And yes, the’irye were mosquitos in Pixelgoria. And bees, scorpions, etc. Unlike actual enemies, these were considered “minor environmental hazards” and did only miniscule amounts of damage. But they were legitimate nuisances and would often require quick-time events to kill. The ruins themselves meanwhile were suitably impressive; the half buried stone wreckage of an ancient and forgotten cult whose colossal monuments were now the haunts of owls and lizards. Leaving this behind in a flash though, the ambient sounds of semi-rural life could now be heard and, as they wove between trees, a text alert near the top of the’irye screens informed the two adventurers they had entered a community zone: Zip Town.
Artificial structures in ramshackle rings crept upwards around the bases of the hundred foot in diameter trees; shops and houses in a mostly warren or hive-like arrangement. These though belonged to only the humblest denizens of Zip Town; above them in elevated trunk rings and colonized branches, the rest of the village sprawled through the immediate canopy of the forest. And between many of these the’irye were ropes stretched at steep angles with players and NPCs alike commuting up and down the’irye webs using solo-rider gnomish zip-line contraptions. Alchemically powered of course. Traversers they were called; vaguely hook shaped bars of metal upon which travellers stood atop the bottom horizontal extension while, at the apex of the vertical one, an engine with two divergently spinning wheels could propel the average av up even a ninety degree line. You did however usually have to queue for this a while at whatever zip station you were intending to use.
As such, Wyvernus and Osso were waiting for the’irye chance to be lifted into the canopy when they were set upon by something other than fantasy adversaries.
“The way of Buddhas is the way to escape the wheel of simulation,” one said. A low level monk naturally. “Repent to Christ and be uploaded in the coming new world plus,” interjected another. Neither religious proselytizer acknowledged the other and, instead, they focused on spamming the’irye spiel, the’irye religious pitch loop, to the captive audience waiting in line. This was a common occurrence in MOMs though (And apparently Wyvernus’ opinion about the level of community fidelity to roleplaying in roleplaying servers was somewhat exaggerated) Religion of course had not disappeared in the 22nd century; secularism in fact had peaked in the early decades of the 21st century. And the reason why was the growth of simulation theory; every religion had a fairly easy lateral move to make here, epistemically speaking and, once this was accomplished, they were completely immune to scientific criticism. Because the scientific investigation of physical reality could no more yield fundamental proof of anything than the scientific investigation of a sufficiently pervasive virtual environment; meaning secularism was stopped dead in its tracks. In a certain sense. The world was still, as it always had been in even the most fanatical of ages, run foremost with a concern for worldly power and that of course would never change. But on a planet utterly saturated with artificial perceptions, the populace was now estranged from any comfortable notion of reality and society as a whole grew more occult in outlook.
“Touched by madness,” scoffed Wyvernus in an attempt to contextualize the proselytizer’s betrayal of the roleplaying covenant.
“Indeed,” Osso concurred. “Positively bizarre.”
They didn’t have long to brood however before it was the’irye turn to be launched into the trees and the process of this provided the virtual gaming equivalent of an amusement park thrill. The’irye avs abruptly flung themselves skywards at nauseous speeds and, although the whole thing was simulated, the’irye was no denying the visceral feeling this induced. But their’s was actually a fairly long journey to the nobleman’s arboreal mansion and they would’ve comfortably joyed the whole process were it not for the fact they had to navigate through high velocity traffic while they criss-crossed what amounted to an aerial tramway. More than once, Wyvernus was sure he was going to collide with another incoming player but the’irye individual ropelines would diverge just enough that the opposing travellers would only rush past one another at various unnatural angles. The character animations for these sequences were appropriately chaotic and precarious so Wyvernus got to watch his av veer this way and that on the traversing, seemingly barely able to keep hold on said contraption. In fact, Wyvernus made such a sharp turn that his av at one point was dangling the’irye legs in a distinctly horizontal direction while clinging to the machine with one hand, when both he and Osso veered to the end of a line that terminated in a dock.
So far, they were only travelling where any other player could travel. But, reaching the gates of the mansion, Osso’s senatorial privileges came into play and a guard in full knight armor ushered them inside the grounds of the estate. It was probably a couple of acres spread out over a radial platform buttressed by a nearly conical amount of support beams. The effect though was an English style country manor, except with a precipitous drop at the edge of its fields and a skyline full of the most fantastically gargantuan trees a fantasy game could safely render. Marching up to the mansion itself now, a rather anachronistically styled colonial building with bountiful garden plots out front, they were swiftly intercepted by a formally attired and impeccably coiffed NPC: the Major Domo.
“Herr Vendetta,” the’irye greeter began. “You’ve returned to us in an adequate amount of time. Alas, the additional reward I alluded to is no longer available but, if you have all the ingredients you promised to obtain, we can discuss your reward.”
Osso shared a customized drolly-frowning emote with Wyvernus for the latter’s joying and then proceeded to answer the Major Domo. “Yes. Everything’s here. Had a spot of trouble, is all.”
Osso handed the quest pouch he’d been tasked with filling to the Major Domo and this initiated a screen text that read “Step Completed” causing the two adventurers to audibly groan. What this meant was that the quest involved multiple steps which, in Osso’s defense, he couldn’t have known since this particular quest was procedurally generated and so the depth of its entanglements could not be predicted or otherwise anticipated. So when the Major Domo gestured for them to follow, they did and this led them through the ornate front doors of the mansion and into the aristocratically detailed halls and, eventually, an archaic style kitchen that had a couple of unperturbed quail scrounging on its wooden floor. But then both of them knew what was coming now. A cooking minigame.
It was therefore up to them to prepare the main course for Count Rhine’s evening banquet. Apparently the chef had taken ill and they had been involuntarily elected to be his emergency replacement. Because, well, the quest didn’t make much sense but that was beside the point. The point was that they now had to engage in a series of complex crafting activities while also maneuvering the’irye way through the hoops of several time challenges. Bonking sudden waves of mice with a meat tenderizer; that sort of thing. And throughout they were running around a kitchen filled with boiling pots and flaring ovens with full freedom of movement, the’irye avs engaging in increasingly absurd emotes during the brief spells of rest between each ludicrous objective. Eventually though, they made it to the final task where everything seemed done except the Major Domo peaked his head in through a door and informed them they needed to whip up a sauce. Immediately.
“Wait,” interjected Osso. “We’ve got a number of options here.”
“What do you mean?” asked Wyvernus.
“Okay,” Osso continued. “We can prepare a good meal, prepare a bad meal, prepare a poisoned meal, or prepare a spicy meal. Each of these should trigger a different, er, outcome. Now, we’re trying to get a map the Count has in his desk but I’m not sure this reward is guaranteed if we prepare the good meal. Not at my current level… uh, prestige. Would you find… procuring the map by less than reputable means to be too, oh, objectionable?”
Wyvernus was roleplaying a morally good char, not a morally perfect one. “He’s a home dweller. Guy has too much as it is.”
Osso howled. “If I wasn’t already depraved, I’d be mooded.” And then after another bout of laughter. “Alright. But I guess we shouldn’t waste the poor fop.”
“So no poison,” mused Wyvernus. “And that leaves… spicy?”
“Yeah,” Osso chuckled. “When the party goes helter-skeleton from ungodly levels of spice in the sauce, you block the stairs and I’ll sneak up to his office.”
“Look like the Count’s number is up,” intoned Wyvernus, reading a conversational aid prompt he had overlaid on his game screen but, in this case, not really penising what the A.I. had recommended him.
Osso didn’t seem to get it either but his av’s face was blankly sanguine as he gestured for Wyvernus to follow while the latter finished adding multiple slots of spice to the duo’s potted sauce and then carrying this, in two handed animation, as he rushed to catch up to Osso. Then the two of them encountered the Major Domo in the servant’s hall and Wyvernus handed the quest item to the eager NPC who, unexpectedly, expressed an earnest gratitude at them having rescued the banquet from disaster. The two players looked at each other’s avs but said nothing before realizing the’irye was no reason to wait and heading towards the main staircase to loiter. A few feet away, through an open archway, they could see a portion of the dining hall and the abundance of decadent aristocrats inside; which thankfully restored some of the nerve that’d ebbed away at the Major Domo’s thanks. Now it was just a matter of waiting. Sure enough, after a minute or so, outraged cries erupted and chaos broke out in the dining hall. Unaccustomed to even the trivialest of calamities, and in this the virtual NPCs more than equalled the’irye real life affluent counterparts, the aristocrats threw themselves into anguished theatrics at the’irye predicament and the’irye was a mad dash by the staff to attend to them. Soon enough though, the Major Domo shouted “We need more servants!” and a swarm of these rushed down the stairs towards the’irye hysterical leader.
“We don’t have much time,” Osso hissed before dashing up the aforementioned staircase. Wyvernus mentally nodded but his av only turned to follow the senator’s briefly visible run before the latter disappeared from view. Then it was up to him to keep anyone from following. Knowing the way A.I.s tended to work, he could be sure they’d send a pawn in one form or another who would try to get past him. And this was confirmed when a young woman in a maid’s outfit appeared and insisted she had to grab something specifically for Count Rhine. Specifically. Wyvernus wasn’t sure what to do but when the NPC began to go around him he got a nonlethal stealth takedown prompt while looking at the back of her head and, shrugging inwardly, he executed the action. The animation for this was a wrestling style body slam that, however vaguely appropriate it’d be on large dangerous NPCs, became riotous comedy on a benign female character. When she was knocked out cold at the foot of the stairs though, the circling stars around her head and the spirals where her eyes had been assured him he had, in fact, not used deadly force. Despite the implausibility of this. Meanwhile, when Osso returned, he couldn’t help pausing to stare at the waif of a girl crumpled at Wyvernus’ feet.
“It was an epic battle,” muttered Wyvernus, deadpanned. Osso cackled.
Then, in an instant almost, they were sprinting across the grass outside. No one had interceded yet but it was only a matter of time before the Major Domo’s script flipped from vexing over a no-doubt infuriated Count Rhine to trying to find those two adventurers he needed to lay the blame on. Unfortunately for him, by the time the NPC began this action, the dinner saboteurs were barreling through the front gate and concluding the parameters of the quest event. Which subsequently led to flashing screen text that read “QUEST COMPLETED” and a 1000xp award each and the’irye simultaneous levelling up and two exceedingly hyped players. So they celebrated. They celebrated with two inversely twirling jigs and then a shared double fist bump. Later, Osso added Wyvernus as a Comrade and that made the’irye friendship as official as it could get in the world of Pixelgoria.
GLOSSARY
aesth – Aesthetic, pleasant, satisfying.
AgCritX – The premier game rating compilation site.
aggro – Aggression. In the vast majority of games, NPCs and creatures have an aggro parameter triggered by individual variables that determine whether they will attack others (Players, NPCs, other creatures, etc)
av – Player avatar.
brud – Friend.
char – A player’s character.
com – Communicate, message.
Comrade System - Up to 10 other players can be added as personal comrades by each player, allowing for passive boosts in levelling bonuses that take effect when said players are in proximity (Can only be levelled by tandem quests)
cryowakes – People awakened from a long period of cryogenic freezing or other form of suspended animation.
debuffed – In gaming a buff is a boost through magical or other means that improves a character’s condition in some way. A debuff of course removes this. In RL, the phrases debuff/debuffed would convey a loss of prestige, reputation, or some other analogous forfeiture.
defo – Definitely.
donk – Someone who pursues suboptimal strategies in games.
drops – Loot and materials left behind by defeated foes.
dummy deuce – Slang used to refer to low level A.I. common in gaming; specifically those that operate multiple “puppet” NPCs. Pixelgoria for example uses multi-vector A.I. so while some NPCs have a unique A.I. running them, nondescript enemies tend to have a single “master” A.I. who strategically and tactically manipulates said enemies (Either via specific factions who tend to act more intelligently or enemy species who behave in an organic social way) The value of this sort of system is that it maximizes emergent behavior for otherwise simple creatures and minimizes repetitive scripting.
eff – Efficiency. Not to be confused with eff’d, meaning efficiently dicked. See eff’d for further discussion.
eff’d – Or f’d, meaning “fucked.” One also presses F out of some forgotten habit, to pay respects to those who’ve been fucked. Eff’d is considered a sufficiently polite euphemism that school children can use this in front of the’irye teletutor A.I. and not be reprimanded for it.
etymo – An important aesthetic consideration for roleplayers when they choose the’irye in-game names. Casuals typically don’t care but they’ll get constantly ganged on if they launch in a roleplaying server with such a moniker. Etymo means choosing a name consistent with the world one is gaming in.
farm – The term farming originated in the early history of gaming and pertains to player loops whereby they repeatedly kill certain enemies for specific drops or otherwise harvest regenerating resources. As a result of this, farming eventually began to be used in reference to RL food cultivation.
ganged – Abused, mobbed, harassed by a group.
GM – Game master.
Great Regression – A period spanning several decades where manufacturing and technological progress basically halted. War and political chaos also prevailed.
keep-mask – Maintain the persona of the character one is roleplaying.
loop – A repetitive sequence of actions undertaken for the efficiency of a result. For example, a money making loop could consist in mining ore, crafting this into a specific item type, travelling to the optimal town to sell these in, and then returning to the mine to repeat that same sequence.
lululululul – Different game genres have the’irye own unique cultures, including slang and shorthand. This is the common text format for laughter in MOMRPGs (While all player coms are done via voice chat, captioning is the default option and every word a player says is recorded into a public chronicle database for both player and dev referencing)
masc – Masculine. It was one of the appealing things games offered now in the 22nd century; the opportunity to be truly masculine or feminine for those who were part of its toiling class of sexless corporate serfs and subsidized standbys.
metagaming – Using strategies, tactics, information incompatible with the basic narrative premises of the game to optimize one’s playthrough. It is also common to refer to general gaming experience as one’s metagame background.
mobs – Low level enemies who wander around following relatively brainless scripts. So called because they tend to mob players in large groups.
mood – Verb meaning to change someone’s attitude or disposition.
MOM – Massively online multiplayer. With the near complete disappearance of the family unit from human society, there’s been a corresponding tendency among the populace to maternal-ize/paternal-ize corporate entities and consumer products that provide tenuously analogous functions.
morrow – Future.
nub – Nubbin, noob, newbie: an inexperienced player relative to a specific game (Even pros are nubs when new to a game until they prove themselves, although you wouldn’t call someone a nub if the’irye simply playing a new character)
o’ – Common contraction of “or”.
ord – Ordinary.
ortholangs – Anyone who adheres to some form of linguistic prescriptivism and tries to impose the’irye chosen criterion on others.
outer-pleb – Someone who spends the’irye lives primarily in RL generally or outside a particular game more specifically.
penising – Fathoming, penetrating.
prog – Progress, progression. A term in gaming that has evolved to become the preeminent philosophical value of gamers generally.
PvX – The’irye are four main PV types in Pixelgoria: PvE (Player vs Environment) PvP (Player vs Player) PvS (Player vs Self) and PvT (Player vs Time) In the first, players compete against hostile creatures and NPCs, in the second players challenge one another, in the third players tackle finesse challenges involving the’irye own personal bests, and in the fourth players race against a leaderboard of timed trials.
rets – Eyes or equivalent cybernetic organs.
RL – Real life.
self-gankery – Killing oneself through obviously stupid actions.
smart art – Interactive entertainments.
standby – Someone who is unemployed.
termcon – Derived from pre-Zero Day social contracts called “Terms and Conditions.” Because of the Imposure Rights of Corps in the current era, the origin of the phrase is an anachronism but it’s used generally to refer to laws or social norms required in a given environment.
the’irye – The linguistic voltroning of there, their, and they’re. Initially it began as an ancient jest-meme but the appeal and practicality of having only one word here implausibly caught on. Now only morrow-phobic ortholangs perpetuate the old grammar termcon.
thuds – A person one dislikes, either because they are dumb or simply disagreeable. Various origins for the term have been proposed. Some think it relates to the hostile impact of a projectile, others to the sound said people would inspire as the jaws of other people “hit the floor”.
tok – Language, speech, dialect.
tut – Tutorial, tutor.
upscalers – Elements that add to the player experience on top of pure functionality. Ornamental details in a game world.
voltroning – Combing things to make them better.
xp – Experience points, duh.
yore – The past. Especially anything over a year old (Year Older Remembered Experiences)
Zip Town – Starter hub in the Autumn Facet that many commentators consider the best in the game. Tall trees with ascending and descending zip lines that crisscross these, allowing easy travel to areas otherwise inaccessible to players who haven’t unlocked levitation and other higher level abilities yet.