A stampede of horses ran down the length of an ancient road, the men and women that rode them leaning forwards. All of them trying to make themselves as small a target as possible.
With the measure only being partly successful. Lowering the amount of times that they’d watch their fellows fall screaming in pain. But failing to change the number of times they’d see someone's head explode into a cloud of red mist and ozone was yet to recede.
For those who dared take a glance over their shoulders and look behind them, they would see a serpent. A long, dark gray, snake with a blade for a head, rearing up above the road and the surrounding trees.
Its form made irregular by the bodies that it had already run through. Turning itself into a daisy chain of corpses. Adding more to its collection with lightning fast movements that culminated with brutal impalements.
For the Red-Tango Lads this was a very bad day indeed. What they’d assumed to be loan carriage and a bit of easy fun and profit had turned out to be a pandora’s box instead.
The small band that had split off from the rest of the group had almost immediately ended up running back to their party. When the main gang wanted to swallow the carriage whole, they found themselves biting into stone. Realizing too late that they’d kicked an iron wall.
*****
Considering that the Argus continent alone, had more surface area than the entirety of several smaller blue-green worlds, it was natural that there’d be parts that even the Six Great Kingdoms held no concrete power over. Left to grow wild, either because of the hazard or the inconvenience.
Beyond the wastes and the territories of the Great Kingdoms was the hinterland. They started from the odd corners of Argus where there was nothing but old world ruins and a few idle barbarian tribes.
Spreading into the spaces lay between most of the kingdoms. Acting as a sort of natural boundary and buffer. These were lands that no one owned and none lay claim to. Magically rich, to the point that aether levels became at least mildly toxic.
Filled with deep shadows and entities that were even more ferocious than what one would find in the normal wastes. Inhabited by mean beasts and meaner men. Thus it was only natural that all but strongest of wanderers would refuse to go in alone. Preferring to rely on the numbers of a reliable caravan to make the trip a smoother one.
*****
It was finally that time, time for the big raid. The Stronger members of Thousand Ghosts had already head to the operation with their boss and senior officers. Naturally their collaborators the Bone Tree Company couldn’t lag behind.
Thus Billy and Edna and Elena had all piled into their company carriage. They hitched up the company horse Buttercup and then they hit the road.
Billy’s tail smashed itself into the ground with the force of an asteroid that had come hurtling from space. Kicking up dirt and dust, sundering a few of the trees that lay in this oddly forested area.
All for the sake of dislodging the corpses that hung from the length of it like the most macabre kind of jewelry. After a few times and a few more explosions of dirt and dust. He succeeded. Also managing to frighten away a fair portion of the local wildlife as well.
After that sixth bandit attack, nothing else lunged out at them. Which was good, or at least it would have been. Except they could all hear the sounds of things moving inside the wood. Just out of sight. Watching them. It wasn’t quite scary per-se but it was uncomfortable. Making one feel tense between the shoulders.
Edna sat on the driver’s box with Elena sitting beside her. She was taking the reins for now, while Billy rested after doing his own thirty-four shift.
He’d said he was fine but she’d insisted, putting her foot down and making him go inside to rest. Even if he wasn’t physically tired, it was only fair that they all do their share.
This was truly an Adventure, one bigger than any the little Bone Tree Company had, had before. On the other hand, it was fair to call any time one travelled through the wastes an Adventure.
Edna was of the opinion that too many people romanticized that word. Adventure was just another word for a trip that was both ‘shitty’ and ‘dangerous’. Any time you went from point A to point B with an understanding that it’d be rough going and a distinct awareness that there was very real likelihood of you not making it back in one piece, that was an adventure.
Edna was well aware of this now, after having worked as a Adventurer for nearly a year's times. It wasn’t the longest tenure but she was handy now and more experienced than she had been. Another interesting thing she’d learned was that a person could grow ‘bored’ of danger.
One’s attention span wandering because regardless of whether one was in mortal peril or not there was nothing to focus on. Nothing to do, save what one was doing. Be it crouching behind a battlement, or standing at a post trying to keep watch. Or simply sitting, on a driver’s box.
Holding the reins for a horse that seemed plenty smart. At least smart enough that the presence of a driver seemed almost superfluous.
Elena being Elena she jumped ship during the ninth hour of the third day of their little trip. Declaring that she was bored and that she’d seen something.
Leaping from the moving carriage and rolling into a little hill of sand. Saying that she’d catch up after she’d seen what that ‘something’ was. Running off before Edna could even get a word in edgewise, or ask if she was expected to stop or slow down.
*****
Two days later, the carriage left the wooded areas behind and entered an area of scrub grass and cacti. Edna was still driving. Somewhere in between that and the days before, Billy had taken another turn at the reins.
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Ever the trouble magnet, He and the stalwart, no nonsense Buttercup ended up having to deal with a large pack of wild dogs and one large demonbeast that only technically counted as a dog, that had decided to try and chase them down while Edna slept.
She’d come out to see the carriage and the horse and the driver, all covered in blood and some kind of sticky char. She’d sent him inside to wash himself off after he’d cast a spell to wash off the carriage and the horse. With Buttercup seeming to appreciate the cooling mist of hardworking bubbles.
Hours later, there was a brief reprieve when they came across a place where things were just quiet enough for Edna to stop so that the horse could be watered and fed. Demonbeasts were generally had better stamina and endurance than human Practitioners of the same Rank.
Which was why they hadn’t needed to stop for three days and could have just kept going. All the same, it was only right that Buttercup get a break as well. It wouldn’t do to overwork her.
They let Buttercup rest for a few hours then just as they were about to hit the road again, something, came running right at them. Edna’s AWs came out, instantly shifting to cannon mode. It was a very good thing that she had solid visual acuity, if she hadn’t been able to recognize the approaching figure the results would have been tragic.
“What the hell, Ell, if you’re just gonna pop out of nowhere at least say something!”
“Sorry, Sorry…My bad.” said Elena, much chastened by Edna’s scolding tone.
*****
They started moving again, after all, it wasn’t like they had time to waste. There was a still a job waiting for them in Lloyd. After everyone clambered back onto the carriage, Edan was still on the driver’s box alone.
Elena had gone inside. Heading into th to change into something that wasn’t covered in blood and green slime and torn to pieces.
She came back outside a few minutes later joining Edna on the driver’s box. Her hair still wet from the shower she just took.
“Mind if I take over?”
“Uh...nah, I don’t mind. Go ahead.” said Edna.
A little surprised by the offer. She’d been getting tired and was on the verge of maybe seeing if Billy wanted to take the reins again.
“I thought you’d maybe just want to hang inside the carriage for a bit. Y’know, since you’d been running around so much and came back looking like someone kicked the shit out of you and tossed you in a sewer...” said Edna. Still sitting at the driver’s box, even though she’d already handed the reins over to Elena.
It wouldn’t have been an unreasonable expectation. Billy’s enchantments on the carriage had changed its inner-spaces to those a decent sized apartment.
Though there was really one big room, it was a room with suitable subdivisions for sleeping, bathing, and just hanging out. As such it was comfortable enough that even often Edna felt herself feeling tempted to just hide out there for a bit.
“Hey! Hey!...I won that fight so it’s more like ‘I’ kicked the shit out of ‘them’.” said Elena. Her tone filled with mock indignance.
‘Oh, is that so….? Who were they then? You barely explained before you ran off.”
“Well, ‘they’ turned out just be an ‘it’ and ‘it’ turned out to just be some kind of sand troll.” said Elena.
“Okay, and was it worth it? Cause you definitely ran off like it was.” said Edna.
Elena just sighed, her expression turning into something aggrieved.
“Nah, stupid desert troll ended up being some kind of undead. So the bones, meat, hide everything that could rot was rotted. And I ended up having to shatter the aether core to kill the stupid thing, so that was ruined as well.” said Elena.
There was a moment of shock at the mention of shattering the aether core, the things weren’t fragile, at all. So while it was possible, only the extremely strong could do so.
Afterwards, schadenfreude put a sly smile on Edna’s face, all this was just typical Elena. Their childhoods were full of barely thought through, misadventures.
“You could have just burnt everything and gathered the ashes. The resulting powder might have been worth something...or maybe Billy could have used it.”
Elena just snorted.
“Blech! No...What you didn’t think I stank enough, ‘without’ wading inside putrefied troll guts?”
“Well that’s what happens when you’re in the desert and facing an undead. They Hell, Ell it is spring, we don’t tend to get many solid type undead but when they do tend to be of fetid variety.”
“Don’t remind me...That fucking thing was literally just filled with maggots. Every time it got its hands on me I’d be covered in creepy crawlies and slime and eh...just, no. No thanks. I’d literally pay whatever we could have made from that thing. ‘Not’ to have to touch it or think of it ever again.” said Elena.
“Really...that could be arranged.” said Edna. A sharp light in her gaze, her smile turning slightly ruthless.
“Well.. uh...maybe not. After all it wasn’t like it was an actual loss. Let’s be reasonable here, Ed.” said Elena. Quickly backpedaling.
“Right…..”said Edna. Still smirking.
They lapsed into silence, a long comfortable lull. Then Elena broke it, while giving her friend a mischievous look.
“So...how long have you been crushing on our little William, Edna-Rae?”
“What?! I-..No I haven’t.” said Edna.
“Liars got to hell, Ed. Don’t you remember what the sisters at the church taught us?”
“I...I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” said Edna.
“Right, so I’ve just been imagining things all those times I’ve caught checking Billy out?” said Elena.
“....Y- yes. Yes you have.” said Edna. Deciding that the less that she said, the better off she would be.
“...Is that smoke I smell, Edna-Rae? Cause I’m pretty sure your ass is on fucking fire right now, girl. I know what I’ve seen. I have eyes, Ed. And my eyes caught you eye-fucking our best friend. It’s cool. I was doing it too.”
“I...Well...It’s just looking.”
“Yeah, for now….” said Elena, her words almost but not quite in sing-song.
“No. It’s definitely just looking. And it’s just...it’s nothing. Nothing else.”
“Well, did you know that ‘he’ looks back?”
“.....!?”
She most definitely didn’t and she found herself having a hard time imagining Billy, who sometimes acted like he was from an entirely planet and didn’t even remember sexes and genders were a thing, paying any special attention to anyone, anywhere.
“It’s true. I’m not sure if he notices he’s doing it, or whether he’s just really sly about it, but his looks….linger. He’s an ogler...A secret ogler...A closet ogler. Staring far, far too long for chaste interest.” said Elena. Completely speaking in sing-song now.
“You’re nuts...And even if it’s true...It’s probably just with you. Or I don’t know...It’s. It’s what it is. No need to make a big thing out of it.”
Another lull opened up with a blushing, slightly uncomfortable looking Edna turning her attentions to the road, while the horse kept up a brisk, three hundred mile an hour, canter.
“Just so you know...If you ever decide that you want to do a little more than just looking...I’m cool with that.”
“Eww. Ell! He’s our baby cousin.” said Edna, growing more embarrassed, and growing slightly exasperated with her embarrassment. Wishing Elena, would just let the matter drop.
“Yeah, by marriage, sure….But his dad was adopted. Well either his dad or my dad. But even then it really wouldn’t be a problem for ‘you’ since you’re like his third cousin, once removed or something. You’re ranch family and therefore not directly related. So you’re all good. As for me, ‘I’ know that I’m not letting any weird societal hangups get in the way of my tapping that, as hard and as frequently and as creatively as possible.”
“Ell...Gross.”
“If it’s gross to be honest about what you want in life, then fine, call me Gross. The grossest of the gross, even. You’ve known my position on this since the very first time I proposed.”
“You were six then, Ell.”said Edna, with a sigh.
“Well, fourteen years later, and my thoughts on the matter haven’t changed. Except I’m thinking maybe I don’t need to actually get married. Maybe I’m cool with something more casual. Or something... I don’t know, more quiet? First wife, Concubine, Mistress...Whatever. I’ve seen enough sham marriages to not really care about them. I just want something real. Either way, You ‘and’ Billy already know exactly where I stand, Ed. I’m just saying that I’ve seen where ‘you’ seem to be standing, or at least leaning, and I’m cool with it, and I’m pretty sure Billy wouldn’t say no either...It’s kind of hard to tell with him... either way I have your back. Just wanted to put it out there.” said Elena.
Her tone completely and starkly, serious. Her expression resolute.
Edna didn’t meet the other woman’s eye, still focusing on the road, her heart pounding, the cogs in her brain grinding against each other, her stomach churning like a troubled tide. She took a deep, shuddering breath and then nodded.
“.....Okay then….Thanks, I guess.” said Edna.
“Mhm…” said Elena.