Sunday week 1 of boot camp.
Boot camp started at 6:00 am. There was a recording of a bugle playing revelry coming over some tinny speakers like on M.A.S.H. Allen had been up for about 20 minutes by the time the alarm sounded so he was just coming out of the shower and toweling off his hair. The loud bugling scared most of the crew nearly to death, and Allen nearly jumped out of his towel and his own skin it startled him so badly. He rushed to try to make his bed with the towel wrapped around his midsection. He had his pillow all tucked in when some makeshift drill Sargent made it through the door. Allen nearly laughed when he saw the riding crop the guy was carrying. The guy was yelling something as he walked around, but Allen just calmly pulled some red boxer briefs out of his footlocker and pulled them on under his towel. He had noticed that the showers had no cameras in them. They may have microphones in them though. He planned on being perfect until the show was over. The other occupants in the place were scrambling.
“That means you soldier!!!” the underweight drill Sargent said as he got in Allen's face.
“Sir yes sir.” Allen responded even though he hadn't been paying any attention thus far. He through in a half ass salute to make things seem more authentic. He really wished he had paid more attention while he was getting dressed.
“I hear that you have contraband in your locker, maggot. Is that true?” skinny asked.
Allen couldn't think whether to think of him as Gomer Pyle, or Barney Fife.
“Sir no sir.” Allen replied.
“Then you probably wouldn't mind opening your locker for inspection. Isn't that right soldier?”
“Sir I do mind sir.” Allen said. This isn't the military after all, and he was still in America as far as he knew. He hadn't shown anybody a passport or anything.
“I beg your pardon soldier. Open your locker for inspection.” Gomer ordered through gritted teeth.
“Sir, not without a warrant sir.” Allen said. He knew he would pay for it later, but he was gambling on what Sara had told him about there not being any reality in reality television, and him being a golden goose.
Gomer must have decided that he needed more instructions before trying to tackle Allen, because he turned around and started yelling at everybody.
“I want you pukes ready for a 5 mile run in 20 minutes! Is that clear?” He shouted.
“Sir Yes sir.” is what the barracks said in response.
Allen gathered up with his 3 best pirate buds and got into a huddle while they were stretching out.
“We need to stick together.” he said to the group. “How good of shape are you all in? 5 miles is a long way if you’re out of shape.”
“Well who died and made you our leader?” Todd Chapman asked. He wasn’t one of the close friends. “I don't particularly like you getting us in trouble. I think we should stick to ourselves and may the best man win.”
“Whatever, knock yourself out.” Allen said. “Cameron, Londen, Shupe, what kind of shape do you think you're in? Think you can go 5 miles?”
“No way.” Londen admitted. “I can’t run 1 mile. Might be able to jog a mile and walk the rest.”
“Alright, you’ll keep pace for us. Go pretty good out of the gate but take it easy. Leave plenty for the final stretch. I’ll make sure you get across the finish line without being in last place.”
After Gomer said a few encouraging words about hard work and integrity he got in a Polaris Ranger and said. “Just follow me.” And then he stuck a starting pistol into the air and fired.
Allen noticed his cinematographer talking with Edward. He couldn’t make anything out, but he noticed him nod, and get his gear and follow the troop.
The group went slowly at first, but then it actually slowed down. Allen was starting to get winded though before they had gone a mile, and he decided that he would cut out the Coca-Cola. Londen started saying something about being in bad shape and being ashamed of himself, so Allen told him that talking used energy, and that his body could conserve water if he was able to breathe through his nose. It was just under 2 hours for the guys to get over the finish line. It would have probably been quicker to just walk fast. Shupe was coughing for the last half hour of the run in the hot humid air. The girls even finished ahead of them. Allen finished in dead last place if anybody was watching, which they were. Allen thought he was in better than average shape before they began, but he was having second thoughts now, and wondering what average really was. When they were heading in to get cleaned up, they ran in to Todd Chapman who had finished, and cleaned up already. He had a dum-dum sticking out of his mouth with a bulge in his cheek.
“Oh, you guys did make it. What a surprise. I thought you knew something about work Allen. What's the matter? Edward not around to hold your hand?” Todd laughed as he walked over to the mess hall. Shupe flipped Todd the bird in 4 languages as his back was turned. Cameron was giggling at him, and Londen shushed him.
“I thought the low altitude might give me more wind, but I'm beat. What do you think Londen?” Allen asked.
“I think I'm going to throw up, thanks for asking.”
“I can take it or leave it.” Shupe admitted. He didn’t seem to be sweating as hard as the rest of them either, but his cough told a different story.
“The low altitude helps, but the heat, and the humidity are awful. I may throw up as well.” Cameron agreed.
The shower was cold and refreshing. It took several minutes to get his body temperature down, but by the time he got out of the shower he was feeling better.
“You need to stop being a smart ass, Allen. I don't want you making it harder on the rest of us.” Londen said as he pulled a clean shirt over his head. “You too Shupe.” He finished as an afterthought. Shupe pointed to his own chest and mouthed the words, Who Me?
“Don't worry about it. You're getting paid to get in shape. Getting paid more than the good men and women in the military who can't just back out when things get tough.” Allen reminded them. “Besides, if they get rid of me there’ll be more airtime for y’all.”
9:30 am would be considered late for breakfast, but Allen wasn't hungry anyway. By the looks of them neither were Cameron or Londen. He got some coffee and a bagel. The coffee was strong, and it was burned or something. It just didn't taste right. It had a kind of smoky grit to it. The bagel was a bit stiff. It seemed like it had been frozen, thawed, refrigerated, warmed, refrigerated, and left out in the air for a day or 2. Shupe took a plate full of eggs and sat by the 2 women and started flirting with them. Allen started missing Mr. Hoops' bakery. He choked down the coffee and got another cup. He tried quartering the bagel and dunking it, but he gave up on it on his second section. He tossed his refuse in the garbage can and went to sit back by the others. Londen motioned with his eyebrows to look at the far wall. Sara was standing there with a white board that read “Cannons and Artillery Books on your bunks.”
“Cameron, Londen, let’s go. We need to get ready for class.” Allen said. He put on his smile and motioned with his head to the door. Todd gave him a dirty look. Shupe was too busy to notice.
“You still aren't in charge you know.” Todd said as they walked past.
“I don't care. I just want to be like a unit. You just do whatever you want.” Allen said as he hurried his tired friends out the door. “But if YOU want to be leader, then start leading.” He added quietly. Todd was the only one to hear.
The book about artillery was fascinating. It showed how to aim the artillery at the target, how to get your vertical and horizontal positions correct, and everything. When Sara came in and got them ready to take them to class Allen was sitting on his bed reading, and Cameron, Todd and Londen were chatting amongst themselves. It was a short walk on the compound to the classroom. The ocean waves pounded on the beach to the south as they got to the top of the hill. There was a Pact 75 mm and a M777 155 mm set up on the hill next to the building. The artillery seemed out of place if you were thinking pirate as you walked up. This must be a military operation that was converted to be pirate. They must have walked past it on the morning 5 mile run, but he didn’t remember ever seeing it. Had it been set up after the run? Not a chance, Allen thought.
“Is it always this hot here?” Cameron asked Sara as they waited with the other groups of classmates.
“Not THIS hot. It's May. It gets hot here in the summer.” She said as she looked at her small crew, and then the rest of the participants. Todd was the only one that looked like he wasn't going to melt. He stood and smoked while looking at the rest of the nonsmokers with some sort of distain like he was somehow better than them. Why did certain smokers think they were better than the rest of us? Allen wondered.
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
In class Allen sat up front as usual. The other guys positioned themselves in the same area. None of them seemed to like to be up front. Shupe sat by the girls, and they would giggle every now and then, and he would have his typical grin on. Mr. Remington gave them some reading assignments, and questions and answer sessions, but that was about all the class had to offer the first day.
When they were headed back toward the barracks Sara took Allen aside for a walk toward the south side of the perimeter of the compound. His thinking had changed since his first exposure to the drill Sargent, and he was sure he was going to be kicked from the program for his comments on getting a warrant. Sara didn't say anything though, and they were right up to the fence when they stopped walking. The fence was tall and was built into a small curb and wall that was at the edge of the sidewalk on the side with the camp, and a short drop off on the side with the ocean. There were small seashells that were all pristine and pretty in the sand. It looked different than any of the beaches he had ever seen. The salty air had a slight fishy smell to it that Allen couldn’t identify. It seemed somewhat therapeutic in nature though. His nasal passages were enjoying this new climate.
“I'm in trouble for yelling at Gomer. Is that it?” he asked as he looked over the water to the southern horizon. The blue sky didn’t quite go all the way to the water. There was a heavy mist, or clouds in the distance that obscured the intersection between sky and sea.
“Yep.” Sara admitted. “But that's just half of it.”
“The good half, or the bad half?” Allen asked. The pangs of regret were finally hitting him.
“The good half.” Sara replied.
“Well that sucks. I wish that was the bad half.” He admitted. He thought he knew what the other half was.
“Do you know what the bad half was?” She asked as she turned her head to look at him as if reading his thoughts.
The sun was beginning to set, and since he was a bit taller than her, he bent his knees to put his face in her shadow. The sun back lit her hair, and she had a pleasant look to her. The light reflecting off his hat lit her eyes up, but she squinted when he looked into them.
“The action was open you know. And the safety was on.” He guessed.
“He grew up in the city.” Sara explained. “It scared him half to death.” She un-squinted her eyes a bit.
“Are we on camera right now?” Allen asked.
“Nope, this is off the record.” She lied in a near whisper that the booming ocean nearly drown out.
“Then I need to tell you, that your eyes are gorgeous.” He added. He figured he was still being recorded. He wouldn’t be untrue to his character. At least not for the next few months.
She laughed and turned back to looking at the ocean, so Allen stood up strait again, and did the same.
“With all the waivers, and life insurance policies, and everything else that we've talked about since this thing started... I would've thought that he wouldn't have felt threatened.” he said as he gazed at the waves coming in from the ocean and crashing into the ones headed back into the foam. They crashed into the beach with a furious energy that astonished him.
“I didn't think.” Allen admitted. “If I would've thought I would've done it differently. I’ll apologize to him.” He said.
“That would be good.”
“You know, I have been around guns my whole life. And my friends have been around them too. There was really no danger.” Allen assured her. “I wish I could go back and have a real do over.”
“I know right?” she said.
When she turned and walked back toward the barracks, he waited for a few moments with his eyes closed. He thought of the movie The Old Man and The Sea and how the man did everything in his power to get that big fish back to his home. It was what he had been longing for. But by the time he got back, and the sharks had eaten most of the edible parts of the fish, the only real thing he had to show for his nearly heroic efforts was scarred and bleeding hands, dehydration, and an empty stomach. The old man allowed his greed to drive him in to a situation that he didn’t belong in. Allen decided that he wouldn’t fall into the same trap. He needed to be smart and think ahead. He had always seemed to be clever, but his cleverness had often bitten him in the butt. He couldn’t allow that to happen on this show. He had to be true to himself, but he also had to be the hero.
When Allen and company were heading over to the mess hall Danny came up to him and lowered his camera.
“Save me a seat?” Allen asked his buddies.
“Sure thing.” Cameron and Londen said in unison. Todd just shot daggers at him.
“Danny?” Allen asked.
Danny nodded.
“I'm so sorry bro. I didn't realize that you weren't used to guns. You know what I mean?”
Allen asked.
“I'm sorry too man.” Danny admitted. “It just kind of freaked me out. I've never had a gun pointed at me before.”
“Not that you know of anyway.” Allen joked, but he saw by his posture that Danny didn't think that his comment was funny.
“We can go shoot some time if you think you want to. I can show you how to handle my guns safely.”
“I don't think that's necessary. I understand now that there was no chance for me getting shot yesterday. We looked at the footage and Edward showed me how the gun was opened and everything. I just freaked out.” Danny admitted.
“Do you want me to minimize my gun play later on, or should I include you in the action?” Allen asked. It was obvious that Danny would always be uncomfortable, but Allen definitely knew what he was doing with guns, or they wouldn't have let him bring them on the show.
“Can you assure me that I won't ever be hurt by your, your, foolishness?” Danny finally asked. He knew that was the wrong choice of words, but he was flustered, and that’s what came out.
Allen held his hand up with his palm forward, and Danny put his camera back on his shoulder, and the recording light came back on.
“I Allen Bennett do solemnly swear, that I will never put Danny, or any other camera man, in danger with my foolishness, with any gun that is being used as a prop.” Allen said.
“Does that work for you?” He asked.
Danny nodded his assent.
Allen looked ahead and saw that his buds were close to the mess hall when he heard some giggling behind him. He noticed Shupe and the ladies walking slowly back toward the mess hall as well. Allen didn’t want to be a fifth wheel, but he hated to be alone. If he would ever be put into solitary confinement it would kill him in a day or 2. He turned toward them as they walked up, but he made no effort to move toward them any more than his tired legs could go. He tried to assert himself in the conversation as they walked but he was unsuccessful. Girls just made him nervous. He was certain that he’d never find one that liked him.
“What up Allen?” Shupe finally said as they got close to the mess hall.
“Just, walking.” Allen observed, and Rachael began to giggle at his awkwardness.
Cindy seemed to have more empathy toward him, and she veered in his direction. Allen noticed for the first time that she was the cheerleader that he was afraid to talk to at the audition. She seemed to be a bit rougher around the edges now. She was still very pretty, and he still thought of her as being way out of his league. He smiled when she got close, but then he lowered his gaze. He was sure that she was about to make fun of him. That’s the way it usually started. She was setting him up for some sort of let down later on. If not sooner than later.
Shupe and Rachael stopped, and Rachael lit up a cigarette. They were still talking to one another as they walked, but they purposely slowed down, so Allen and Cindy continued without them.
“You look nice.” Allen said as he examined his shoes.
“How would you know? You aren’t even looking at me.”
Allen let a small smile creep across his lips before looking up at her. She looked genuine enough, but she was still far too pretty to be interested in him. Maybe she was just being nice.
“You always look nice.” He said.
“Is that so? How would you know?” she asked.
Allen looked at his feet again as the smile left his face. “I was going to talk with you during the auditions, but, I sorta, you know, chickened out.” He finished.
Cindy started to giggle a bit. “You sort of chickened out? Why?”
“Well, you know.” He struggled. “You always look nice.” He finished as his eyes met hers.
Cindy stopped walking, so he stopped walking. She looked angry or something. She was still beautiful, but angry or something. He still looked into her eyes. She had a dark kind of blue eyes with a thin ring of green around her pupils. She blinked, so he blinked. Then she lost the angry look and continued walking.
“Well, you should have.” She continued. “Talked to me, I mean. I could have used the diversion. I was scared to death.” Allen remembered how he intentionally didn’t talk to her to calm her nerves. A pang of guilt struck him for a moment. He didn’t mention it to her.
“We all were.”
They got to the chow hall and Allen opened the door for her, and then followed her in. She walked ahead of him as he checked her out. He liked the way she walked, the way she moved. But then he remembered that he was being filmed so he looked up, and accidentally straight into a camera with a start. He was certain that this would be put on air. Oh well, at least he was getting paid to look. That was a first. He made like his hand was a pistol and shot the camera again. “Bang.” He whispered.
For chow they had grilled salmon, asparagus, and salad. Not a bad free meal if he thought so himself. He was suddenly ravenous when he got a whiff of the asparagus. He shoveled a plateful up and placed it on his tray and sat down by Cindy. Minutes later Cameron and Londen came and sat by him where they could look across the table at Cindy. She didn’t seem to notice the three men giving her attention. Perhaps she was oblivious, but Allen thought not. Maybe she was used to it or something. He thought he was too goofy around chicks, but these two embarrassed him. He would mostly catch glances into her eyes while he listened to the 3 of them talk. He enjoyed being unremarkable, it gave him an opportunity to observe, and discover. Not like a voyeur, but more like a true friend might do. Besides, he didn’t have anything to say. Plus, he was still afraid of her. She was far too close to cheerleader for him to talk to.
It turned out that she was from Utah County like him. He wondered why she didn’t go to BYU. Maybe she just thought that the University of Utah was far superior. That’s why he went there. That and his friends all seemed to go to the Y. He needed to concentrate on school, and not hanging out with his friends all the time.
By the time he left the chow hall his aching legs were starting to really tighten up. The sore muscles and joints betrayed his manliness and made it difficult to rise. He decided to take another hot shower and stretch out. He wasn’t paying for the hot water. When he got to his bunk, he noticed that there were new cameras set up in the room. Maybe they were just late with the installation, or maybe they wanted better coverage. There was one stationed, observing each of the beds. That seemed weird to him, but he would behave himself quite well knowing it was there. There was another that looked at each pair of the gang box style dressers that they had. He stood back up from his bed and went back into the bathroom, shower area and looked to see that there still weren’t any in there. None that he noticed anyway. He went back to his bunk and sat down. He made it a point to aim both of his index fingers at each of the cameras and pretend to shoot them as if his hands were guns. “Bang.” He would whisper with every shot. He knew that he would enjoy the crap out of this until they kicked him out. He was pretty sure he didn’t have what it took to make it here, but he was making goodish money while learning how to be a pirate. This would be the best summer of his life, he thought.
He was certain that this was his life’s defining milepost. The new defining moment of his life.
From this point on, he would think of how things were before Pirate, and how things would be after Pirate.