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Pining for My Dear Luna
Chapter 11 - Undeniable

Chapter 11 - Undeniable

The sun descended down the sky, its weak light painting the sky a majestic deep red and purple. The water of the pond gently rippled as the breeze blew upon it. By the shore of the pond, surrounded by trees, sat a lone black wolf, its fur colored dark red by the sun's fading light.

Tasela looked across the water, lost in his thoughts. It had been a moon since his coming of age ceremony, and all the chaos that ensued that day. The past moon was torture for him. He never had peace in his mind, it was a constant loud mess. He had too much to think about, yet after a whole thirty days, nothing in his head had cleared up the slightest.

Despite how much he relied on the pond to clear his mind in the past, he had avoided coming here at all costs during the past moon. It was the place where he met that human for the first time, and the place where he….encountered her on the night of his ceremony. With his mind still a mess, he didn't want to, or have the courage to entertain the idea of meeting her again, even if by chance. Despite this, for some reason, he couldn't resist the urge to come here today. Maybe It was because he really needed some peace of mind, or maybe, as much as he didn't want to admit, he wanted to be closer to that woman. Tasela did not know. He had long lost grasp of himself.

For the past moon, Tasela had tried to live his life like he used to, before all of this mess started. He avoided the pond, he avoided going near the fields, where there was a chance he may catch her scent, he avoided thinking of her, and he avoided using his new gained human form. He wanted to pretend none of this had happened, and hoped that by doing so, his feelings for her would diminish and hopefully vanish. Begrudgingly, the cruel reality was that the more he avoided her, the more he fixated on her. Thoughts of that woman overtook his head, and he found his feelings for her growing rather than weakening.

Tasela looked at the ripples before him. The red in the sky started to fade, and the light of the sun dimmed. Werewolves love only one person their whole life, unwaveringly and unconditionally. The words of the elders echoed in his head. Just two moons ago, he was living his life to the fullest, carefree and happy, but now, he was cursed by the burden of his feelings for another. He was still so young, with a long life ahead of him, was he now doomed to be pining for that woman for the rest of his life? To forever devote his heart and soul to her? He didn't want to, it was overwhelming. It scared him.

It was just so ironic. For so long, he'd been scorning and evading the concept of love, and yet, it only took one moon, no, four encounters for him to succumb to it. It was like fate had played a cruel joke on him.

If he was any other werewolf in the tribe, falling in love with someone would be a happy thing, something to cheer and dream for. If he were any other werewolf in the tribe, he wouldn't be so tormented about all this. As much as Tasela scorned the worship his tribemates held towards love, he couldn't deny that he used to be one of them too. As a pup, seeing how happy his parents were, and how loving Nokomis was with Cypress, he wanted nothing more than to find his own happiness with someone.

Yes, he used to be like that, until he witnessed the tragedy of his sister unfold before his eyes. The very tragedy that deeply struck his soul and left him fearful and spiteful of the concept of love. The very tragedy that left Nokomis a bitter husk of her former self, forever grieving for someone who will never come back. He blamed all of it on Cypress, his once innocent heart filled with adoration for her now turned to spite. Yet, despite all this, his elder sister never blamed her.

Tasela could not fathom why. Cypress was the cause of all of Nokomis’ suffering, the suffering that she'd only be released from in death. Why did his sister not hold any grudge or bitterness for Cypress? Just why was she so forgiving of her? Nokomis had explained that it was because she loved Cypress, but Tasela never understood this explanation. How could this emotion called love cloud her judgment so much?

A new fear started to arise in him. Now that he had fallen for that woman, would he become the same? If he were to be hurt by her, despite the pain, would he be as accepting and forgiving as his sister was with Cypress?

Suddenly, a familiar soft, sweet scent caught his nose by surprise. It was that woman. The scent was strong, she must be nearby. He had been too lost in his thoughts, or else he'd have caught the scent much earlier and left the pond, but now it was too late. Before he could react, the foliage beside him rustled and out emerged the very person he'd been evading this past moon.

The woman was panting, and her cheeks were flushed from the running she must've done to come here. Her hair was messy, and the loose strands on her forehead were wet with sweat. She was slightly slouched, with a hand on a tree trunk beside her to catcher her breath. Despite her visible tiredness, her eyes were gleaming in joy.

She was breathtakingly beautiful, so much so that he couldn't take his eyes off of her, and that scared him. All the evading during the past moon had been for nothing. Nothing had changed. No, it might've gotten worse.

"It really is you!” The woman exclaimed in joy. Her smile radiating like the sun.

Fear gripped Tasela's heart. He jolted up. He had to run away. He wasn't ready to face her yet. He had to avoid her at all costs, even if it meant never coming to the pond again.

"It's been a whole month. I thought I'd never see you again.” She took a step forward. Tasela took a step backward. He turned around to run away.

"W-Wait!” She called out desperately.

Tasela halted. He knew he should ignore her and continue running away, but something within him made him stop. Maybe it was the desperation in her voice.

"You ran away like this last time too. Are you still upset at me?” Cassy tentatively took a few steps forward. The beast stood still.

"Did I…perhaps do something to make you angry?” She mumbled, taking another step forward. The beast flinched, but still did not move.

“Is there anything I can do to make amends?” Cassy felt a little awkward. She knew that she was talking out loud to herself. After all, the beast before her was an animal, it’s not like it understands what she’s saying. Even if it did, it couldn’t reply to her anyway. She was just trying her best to persuade the beast to stay.

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Tasela stood frozen in place, his heart racing, and his mind swirling. Every word she spoke pierced his heart. If only she knew the torment he’d been experiencing because of her. I’m not angry at you. It’s not your fault, there’s nothing you can do to fix this mess. He thought to himself in response.

“I thought we were on friendly terms…but I guess I misunderstood.” She murmured. She knew that she and the beast were not friends. After all, she was scared of it up until the last encounter, but the fact that their interactions were without aggression, and she even petted it, she thought that meant that there was a budding friendship between them.

Seeing how things were now, it made her sad. Not so much because the beast didn’t seem to like her, but more because her only company in this lonely ranch was distancing from her.

“I know it was only for a month, but I got so used to your company. After you left and didn’t come back that day, I realized for the first time just how…quiet it gets around here.” She continued, her hands slightly gripping to her dress.

“I don’t have any friends or family with me. It just…gets so lonely out here, and scary too, on this little ranch in the middle of nowhere.” The grip on her dress tightened. The beast flinched again, but still did not move.

“I know I’m being unreasonable, but….Even if you don’t like me, can you come back to visit me sometimes? I…I don’t want to be alone.” She pleaded in a hushed voice. Silence.

Tasela shuddered. It was hard enough as it was to avoid her the past moon, even more right now after he’d met her again. How could he still ignore her after hearing her pleading him with such fragility in her voice? As much as he wanted to deny it, he missed her as well. He wanted to visit her, to accompany her, to be with her, more than she could imagine. Hearing her say that she missed him as well filled his heart with joy.

As much as he had tried to deny it, reality hit him at that moment. Tasela had to admit it, he was in love with her. He feared love; he feared the tragedy that befell upon Nokomis would happen to him too; he feared to be doomed by it. But, at that moment, a glimmer of hope surged in him. What if, just what if, things won’t end up like he feared? What if there was a future of happiness to be had with her?

“Ah, what am I doing? I should just stop talking to myself and go home. Why did I even come out here anyway.” Cassy looked away, scratching her head. The silence and inactivity from the beast made her realize just how awkward the situation was. She was monologuing to herself and even getting all emotional over it. It made her feel foolish.

Just as Cassy turned around, ready to walk home, the cackling of grass and dead leaves sounded behind her. She turned around to check the commotion. The beast had finally turned to face her, and was now slowly padding towards her. Its tail was drooping, ears were tilted back, neck was bent down, and its eyes were looking down at hers with an unreadable expression.

Her heart started beating, not in fear, but in hope and a tint of joy. Did the beast perhaps understand her silly little monologue? Was it walking towards her to make amends?

Since they were not far apart, it didn’t take long before the beast stood before her, towering over her as always, but right now, it felt as if she was the one towering over it. With its head and neck bent downwards, it took a submissive stance. Its eyes were fixated on her, full of undecipherable emotions.

Tasela looked into the woman, no, Luna’s eyes. He finally admitted his feelings for her, and now, instead of running away from them, he decided to take a risk and face them head on. Luna did not reciprocate his feelings for her right now, but if he tried hard enough, maybe one day she will.

With an uncontrollable surge of emotions, he placed his head on her shoulder, burying her face under his fluffy fur. He was quivering from nervousness, but at that moment, this was the only thing he could think of to do.

"Will you ever love me back, Luna?” He whispered, his voice coming out as a soft whine. He was talking out loud to himself, knowing that the other party doesn't understand, just like she had been doing earlier.

Luna, as if to respond to his question, raised her hands and circled them around his neck in a hug, before softly stroking around and playing with his fur.

“You're so fluffy.” She commented, her arms moving around more. She started emitting the scent of joy, and her movements grew more vigorous. He knew she didn't mean anything by it, but the gesture warmed his heart. He indulged in the sweetness of the moment, and rubbed his furry head against her face. It was a simple but significant moment that he will forever remember.

The moment was cut short by the hoot of an owl. Tasela was brought back to his senses, and realized how late it was now. The sun had completely set, the sky was now dark, with the moon crawling up, and stars glimmering in the sky. The forest wasn't safe at night, he couldn't let Luna stay here for too long.

He stepped back, pulling his neck out from her embrace, then lowered his head to lightly nudge Luna backwards.

“Ah! What's wrong?” Cassy asked, taking a few steps back from the beast's push. It raised its head and looked to a distance behind her. She turned around to look in that direction, and saw that it was looking towards the house.

“Are you telling me to go home?” She asked. In response, the beast used its head to gently push against her back, making her stumble a few steps again.

“But I just got here. I don't want to go yet.” Cassy turned around to protest. The beast stared into her eyes for a moment then huffed, as if in amusement, then lowered its head to continue nudging her backwards.

"Why do you insist I go back right now though? Do you not want me here?” She tried to argue with the beast. The beast took a step back in surprise at the question. It shook its head and wagged its tail slightly, as if to respond to her. Nevertheless, she still couldn't understand why the beast wanted her to go home so badly.

“What if I go home right now and then never get to see you again?” She asked jokefully. With how they made amends just earlier, and how friendly their interaction was right now, Cassy assumed that she and the beast had grown closer. This probably meant that the beast would visit her again, but there was still an underlying uncertainty. The one before her was a wild animal after all, she could never be too sure what went through its mind. She didn't think it likely, but what if it truly did never come back again?

The beast, as if to tell her not to worry, huffed and sat down with a wagging tail. Its neck was bent down so that they were at the same eye level. She took a step forward and placed a hand under its chin, and with the other hand stroked the fur on its muzzle. The beast's ears pricked and its tail wagged more vigorously. Its eyes stared intently into hers.

“You promise you'll come back again?” She asked. The beast let out a soft whine in response. She didn't know if the animal truly understood what she was saying, or if it was actually responding to her, but she took that as a yes.

Cassy let go of the beast's muzzle and turned around to face the house. The sky had grown quite dark now.

"I guess it is pretty late. I probably should be heading back home.” She commented.

“Hope to see you soon then. Good night!” She turned back to wave her hand, then started heading home with a quick pace. The beast sat in place, watching her go, leaving after confirming seeing her enter the house.