Finally the sixth period came around, it was my lunch period.I was going to the cafeteria but Jisung pulled me towards a staircase and up to the roof where Jisung ,Seungmin, Changbin, Chan, Jeongin and Felix were sitting. I was about to sit down next to Minho but someone pulled me towards them, Felix of course. He sat me on his lap and wrapped his arm around my waist, so I couldn’t escare. Again I could feel my cheeks heat up but no one else could see it. “So Hyunjin how was your first day here?” Chan asked. I nodded as if to signify it was okay. “Not to be rude, I'm just curious. Are you shy? Why don’t you speak?” Seungmin sincerely asked. I froze although I knew the question would come up. I felt Felix squeeze my waist and he whispered in my ear. “You don’t have to answer that princess although I would love to hear your voice.” His deep voice sent shivers down my spine but at the same time his simple words gave me comfort. Everyone at the table seemed to await my answer, I opened my mouth and shut my eyes, putting my hands over my face to hide myself from their eyes. “I dunno I just- I don’t know it's just a fear.” I felt Felix squeeze my hand, and I opened my eyes. Everyone gave me bright smiles and nodded. Thankfully the subject was changed, Felix didn’t join in any conversation rather he leaned his chin on my shoulder and for some reason I felt safe and leaned against his chest, I closed my eyes and drifted away. Blood was everywhere, a putrid smell tainted the halls. I was running and running from the voices. “It was your fault!” “It should’ve been you!” “If you weren’t around it never would have happened.” I couldn’t breathe. I fell to my knees and my head hit the ground, my eyes closed.

I felt harsh shaking and my eyes opened. Felix looked down at me, tears flowed down my cheeks and I realized it was another nightmare. I had my head placed on his lap and my legs stretched out. He had probably moved me. As if on impulse I tackled him into a hug to feel safe. When I was alone I would cuddle my body size white bear plushie. But it wasn’t here. I wrapped my arms around Felixs’ neck and my legs around his waist as I released sobs and incoherent words. Felix looked surprised but he wrapped one of his arms around my middle section and the other went up and tangled its fingers in my hair as he whispered sweet nothings into my ear. Soon my sobs had turned to sniffles, and Felix pulled my arms away from his neck. He held my hands in his and looked at me. I looked away not wanting to make eye contact. He let go of one of my hands and held my chin so I could look at him. “Princess?” Still I kept my eyes anywhere but his eyes. I diverted my attention to his freckles. His hand continued to hold my chin and his deep voice reached my ears again. “Princess look me in the eye when I’m talking to you.” I nodded and looked up into his dark eyes. They seemed to have happiness and love behind them but they were dotted with something I couldn’t quite catch. “Princess are you okay? Was it a nightmare?” I nodded, never taking my eyes off of his. I felt like I was drowning willingly. Felix rubbed his thumb across my cheek, wiping my tears. “You looked at peace so I let you sleep. We missed the last three periods but it's okay you’re new anyway. I woke you up cause you were crying.” He had missed his classes for me, I put my hands on my eyes and took a deep breath keeping my hands on my eyes I spoke. “Felix-ah why you’ll get in trouble.” When I was done talking I took my hand away from my eyes again. He had his smirk on again, that stupid smirk. It was irritating me again. “Aww Princess you’re worried about me” He teased. I put my hands back on my face to answer him but he took them away from my face and intertwined our fingers together. “Go ahead Sweetheart, what were you going to say.” He said, still smirking. I felt my blush at the nickname and he gave a deep chuckle. “Your concealer came off by the way after you were crying so I can see your blush.” I blushed deeper. “ I wondered why I didn’t have an effect, turns out I did.” He whispered in my ear his warm breath tickling my ear and sending my mind into a frenzy. I hit his chest and shook my head frantically. “Words Princess.” He smirked, I shook my head again and tried to divert my gaze to somewhere else anywhere but his piercing gaze. But Felix smacked my thigh. “My eyes are up here.” He growled almost in a warning tone. I nodded and gulped before looking up at him again. I tried to put my hands back on my eyes to shield myself so I could speak again, but he held them down. “I don’t think so Princess, go ahead and I want words.” I nodded before saying. “I’m Sorry.” Then the tears started to flow down my cheeks again. I can’t talk to people like I said I changed when I went to Europe and one thing that changed about me was I could no longer speak without feeling exposed.

Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.

Tears continuously flowed down my cheeks and blurred my vision. I didn’t know why I was crying. I just was. “Oh baby.” Felix said softly as he wrapped his arms around me. I hooked my arms behind his neck and nuzzled into the crook of his neck, inhaling his comforting cinnamon and vanilla scent. I could feel he was going to say something but the roofs’ door burst open. “Oh My God Hyungs look!” A screech came from the side of the roof. I lifted my face from his neck to see all the boys looking at us eyes wide and mouths open. As if they were witnessing something amazing. I raised my eyebrow at them silently asking what happened and Minho answered not so silently. “Jisung my ship is sailing!” He screeched. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. Jisung chuckled. “Look at the position you’re in Hyunjin.” I looked down and realised what they were talking about. My face went red. I still had my legs looped around Felixs’ waist and one of his hands were on my thigh while the other wrapped around my waist I had my two arms behind his neck. Quickly I untangle my arms and legs from Felix and try to get up, but he pulls me down on his lap again. “Where are you going’?” He smirks, and I shake my head as I see everyones’ eyes on me. Watching, judging and then there are so many tears. Felix looks surprised and I take that opportunity to jump off and race to an empty classroom.

Not the best idea to isolate yourself during a panic attack I try telling myself to go back but my mind doesn’t process anything. I fall to the floor and rock myself back and forth. Hugging my knees I try and gasp for air but it feels as if the air is getting lesser. My chest starts to burn and my throat stings. The door bursts open revealing all the boys, Felix looks worried and Minho has tears in his eyes after seeing my state. Felix walks over to me. “Hey Princess try and breathe okay follow my breathing, yeah.” Tears obscure my vision and I try to nod. “Okay good Princess good.” He comforts. “Okay can you tell me three things you can see?” “You-....J-jisung….I-I” My voice cracks I’m so useless I can’t even name three things. But nonetheless all the voices disappear when I hear Felix’s deep comforting voice. “Good Princess now two things you love.” I try to think in my mind, and my brother and his boyfriend come to mind.“Jungkook and Taehyung hyung.” Felix smiles, and my breathing becomes slow and easy. “Alright love last one,” I nod. “One thing you can feel.” I close my eyes and reach for his hand before my breathing becomes completely normal and I say. “Your hand.”

At last I open my eyes and see Felix. I'm still holding his hand and he gives me a smile. Behind him Minho is in tears and Jisung is rubbing circles on his back while hugging him. Everyone else stands there in pure shock, Minho sees me and runs towards me. He almost tackles me into a hug but Felix stops him. “Princess?” I nod and the others look shocked at the nickname. “Can Min hug you?” I nod again. Felix retracts his hand and immediately Minho tackles me into a hug. I grip his shirt in my hands, and silent tears escape my eyes. Yet I don’t know why I’m crying anymore. Pulling away from the hug I take off the bag slung over my shoulder. Reaching inside I pulled out two pill bottles and a bottle of water. I could feel their eyes on me but I was too focused on taking my pills to care. I placed two pills one from each bottle in my mouth and gulped them down with water. Before I could put the pills away Chan asked me a question. “Hyunjin what are your pills for?” Rather than answering I handed him the two bottles and opened my bag to take out my phone.