Sighing happily, Akane looked out over the water from a green metal bench, the reflections of Christmas lights and business signage dancing on the waves as a small pleasure craft disrupted the calm of the water’s surface. She picked at the takeout container in her hand with a pair of chopsticks, smiling over at her date. Ranko had been kind of quiet since they’d gotten out of the movie, and that generally meant she had something on her mind.
“Whatcha thinkin’, beautiful?” Akane offered her a bite of her tempura, which Ranko opened her mouth for, blushing with her eyes closed.
“Nothin’ much,” Ranko said, not waiting until she’d swallowed to answer.
“What did you think of the movie?” Akane giggled. One of the great things about dating a girl was dragging her to all the chick flicks she wanted to see, even though sometimes it did make things awkward and often led to some interesting conversations when a topic Ranko didn’t have much experience with came up. The movie they saw that night had just come out a few days ago. It was an American film, with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, and it had taken a few months since its debut in the United States to get it subtitled and released in Japan.
“It was… cute.” Ranko smiled softly but distantly, kicking her heels over the edge of the bench.
Akane set down her takeout container, reaching over and pulling Ranko close to her on the bench. “Hey, what’s on your mind, Ranko?”
“Do you think that’s how they think of me?” Ranko looked down at her own dinner as Akane pinned her arms to her sides in the hug.
Akane blinked. “What do you mean?”
Ranko shrugged. “Well, in the movie, the guy finds the girl on the street, right? And, like, she doesn’t have any money and she’s kind of dirty and doesn’t know how to behave. Then everybody around sort of teaches her stuff and buys her things, and they get her all dressed pretty and teach her to be all girly and proper and everything. But even though she gets herself all cleaned up and stuff, people like the scummy lawyer guy still see her like she’s the street girl they found and they either pity her or look down on her. I guess it just made me think about whether Mama and the girls still see me that way, ‘cause that’s basically me all the way down to the red hair. Like, do you think I’m still just the stray they felt bad for and took in?”
Damn, Akane thought to herself. I should have seen the similarities when I read the synopsis in the paper. We’ll just pick the action movie next time. “Oh, baby, no. I don’t think they look at you that way at all. They’re always saying how proud they are of you.”
“Yeah,” Ranko said thoughtfully, closing up her white takeout carton with it still a third full of udon. “But like, are they proud of me for who I am, or just for how much better I am compared to where I started? Like, is it, Ranko is awesome, or is it more like, Oh, isn’t she cute, she can put a bra on by herself, what trick should we teach her next?”
Akane sighed, kissing Ranko’s temple as she held the smaller girl in the chill of the mid-December night. “A little of both, if I had to guess. Ranko, you’re an incredible person. I know you don’t think so sometimes. You tend to judge yourself by your lowest moments and your biggest mistakes. But you really are just an amazing human being, and a wonderful woman. And I, and your family, love you to pieces for it.
“Sure, there’s an element of pride both in how far you’ve come, and, I’m sure, in themselves for how hard everybody worked to help you. They know they did a good thing when they took care of you, just like Yui did when Izumi came, and Ayako did when Yui came. But it’s not just because they bought you some dresses and gave you a job, Ran-chan. It’s because they correctly saw the person you were, buried underneath all the doubt and the hurt and the circumstances. They love the person you are, and they can also acknowledge how hard you’ve had to work to get to where you are. And they’re glad they were able to help the real you get to shine.” And so am I.
Ranko smiled weakly. “I can live with that, I guess. I just… I don’t always want to feel like a charity case, you know? I want to know for sure that people like me because they like having me around, not just ‘cause they felt bad for me. Does that make sense?”
Akane nodded. “Perfect sense. But I don’t think they think about you that way anymore, if they ever even did. They’ve got a lot of practice at this sort of thing. Do you think Yui and Ayako feel that way about Izzi and Mei?”
Ranko shook her head emphatically. “No way. They’re sisters through and through.”
Squeezing her hand, Akane smiled into her girlfriend’s eyes. “I’m saying, I think you all are now. If I saw you and Yui together, and I didn’t know you, I’d think you’ve been together as long as me and Nabiki.”
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Ranko smiled with relief and hope, pulling her hand back and putting it in the pocket of her white peacoat. She really needed a pair of gloves for nights this cold. “Really? You think so?”
Akane nodded. “I know so. You’re not a charity case, Ranko. You’re just an awesome girl who people want to be around. Especially me.”
With a warm smile, the redhead nuzzled against Akane’s chest, both for affection and for warmth. Between money, Ranko’s birthday, finals, and Mioko’s birth, they hadn’t had a date night in over a month, and Ranko had decided to brave a deep blue dress despite the weather just to look special for Akane. At least it was an ankle-length skirt, she thought as she tried to pin it around her legs with her calves to keep the cold air from invading under it as she cuddled her lover.
“You know… I don’t say it enough, Ranko, but, I’m proud of you, too. Probably more than anybody.” Akane stroked her lover’s cheek as Ranko rested against her chest, smiling down at her. “I know more than anyone just how hard you’ve worked, how far you’ve come, and how much you were really dealing with, and I know a lot more about where you started. And I also know, better than anyone, just how beautiful and sweet and dedicated and loving you really are. You’re an absolutely breathtaking girl, Ranko Tendo.”
“Mmm.” Ranko smiled, burrowing into Akane’s coat a little bit against her chest. “I love it when you use my whole name. It reminds me that I get to be yours.”
Giggling, Akane kissed the top of her head, sniffling as a sudden breeze off the water threw a few loose strands of Ranko’s hair into her nose. “Hey, it’s my name too. Who says I’m not yours instead?”
Ranko felt a flash of warmth return to her face as she flushed. You do, every time you touch me and turn my brain off until you decide you’re done with me for the night, she thought to herself. “Then I’ll be yours, and you be mine. Seems like a fair trade.”
Akane slipped her hand into Ranko’s coat pocket with a smile, taking her cold fingers in her hand and gently shaking Ranko’s hand without removing it from the warmth of the fleece jacket. “You’ve got a deal.”
“Akane, can I tell you something?” Ranko shivered slightly, almost certainly from the cold.
Ranko’s girlfriend smiled, stroking her lover’s hair, vain though the effort was given the wind off the water. “Of course, baby.”
Ranko sighed happily. “I’m in love with you.”
Giggling, Akane shook her head. “I love you too, silly girl.”
“No…” Ranko sat up for a moment. “I’m in love with you, Akane. It’s different. Like, I love Yui. I love Mei. I’d do anything for ‘em. I’ve loved you like that for a long time, too. But…” She sighed, closing her eyes for a second to collect her thoughts. “Every second I’m alive, I think about you. Every time I move my eyes on stage, I’m looking for you. Everything I do, I try to think about whether it will make you happy, even if I get it wrong a lot. And I just, lately, with everything that’s been happening, I’ve been thinking about it a lot more, and well… I just wanted you to know that. You love to make me sit through all these girly movies where the girl is making goo-goo eyes at somebody five minutes in, and I used to think it was so stupid, and that sort of crap just never happened in the real world. And now, I’m that girl. You made me that girl. And however stupid it looked to me back then, right now I don’t know how I could ever want anything more than I want to be that girl with you.”
Akane blushed, trying to will the tear starting to form in the corner of her right eye to stay where it was, because it was too damned cold to have her face wet. Oh, Ranko… and you tell people you never know what to say.
“I’m that girl, too, Ranko.” Akane pulled her lover closer, wrapping her tightly in a hug. “I’m that girl, too.”
“Do you think I’ll end up like the girl in the movie?” Ranko blushed a little, remembering Julia Roberts’ character going back to her old apartment at the end of the film and finding that she couldn’t function the way she used to anymore. That she was forever changed for the better and could accept no less. She imagined something similar would happen if she ever had to look her father in the eyes again.
“I sure hope not,” Akane said with a smirk. “If you marry Richard Gere, it’ll really piss me off.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Ranko smiled up deviously at her girlfriend. “He’s way too old. Eugh!” She stuck out her tongue, making an exaggerated face of disgust.
Akane giggled, squeezing her lover tighter as the echoing horn of a small fishing boat carried over the water.
I don’t care what else happens anymore, Akane thought, rocking her girlfriend in her arms on that cold metal bench in the cutting December wind and watching another fishing boat making its way out of the little port. I don’t care if I lose every friend I’ve ever had. I don’t care if I never speak to Dad again. If I never play sports. If I’m broke every day until I die. No matter what happens, I’ve made up my mind.
Akane smiled, leaning down and kissing Ranko’s temple with her ice-cold lips, holding her tight as the redhead shivered from both the cold and her touch.
I am going to love this girl for the rest of my life.