Ranko sat in a gray vinyl chair in the narrow lobby, one of four in a bank connected at the base. Her black school satchel rested on her lap. She tapped her foot on the gray industrial low-pile carpet, partly due to nerves, and partly to keep herself awake. She looked out the window across the hall at the closed door of her science classroom, where a quiz was currently taking place that she was missing. She hoped Mr. Iwato would let her make it up, but she doubted it. He was pretty strict about these sorts of things.
“Miss Tendo?” The receptionist called out to the lobby as if she expected any one of a hundred young women to answer, though Ranko was seated in the room alone. The redhead stood, shouldering her bag. “Yes, ma’am.” She gave a polite bow.
“Right through there, second door on your left.” The receptionist gave a judgemental little tsk as Ranko walked past, adjusting her glasses.
Ranko knocked twice on the indicated door and pushed it open, entering a large office space with a mahogany desk situated in the center of the room. Seated at it was a slender woman in her mid-forties with shoulder-length black hair, in a crisp blue blazer and skirt over a cream-colored blouse. She wore horn-rimmed glasses that reflected the fluorescent lights overhead, obscuring her ice-blue eyes from view. The wall behind her desk was covered with framed certificates showcasing the academic achievements of the office’s occupant.
“Miss Tendo, come in.” The woman stood, motioning to one of the two chairs facing the opposite side of her desk.
Ranko entered, bowing deeply. “Hello, Miss Terada.” She spoke quietly, a shame and worry in her voice. She’d had this experience before, but there were very different people on both sides of the desk back at Furinkan. She took the indicated seat, and the woman across from her sat as well.
“Ranko, I’ve got to tell you, I’ve been hearing some disturbing things from your teachers,” the principal began. “Why don’t you tell me, in your words, what’s been going on?”
Ranko lowered her head shamefully. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I promise, I’m doing the best I can. I know I’ve fallen asleep in class twice this week, but I won’t let it happen again. I’ll stand in the back of the room all period long if I have to.”
The principal nodded. “That commitment is good, but right now, I’d like to talk to you about why you’re falling asleep in class. What’s going on, honey?”
“It’s nothin’.” Ranko frowned. “Just got a lot goin’ on.”
“Yeah? Like what?” The principal smiled disarmingly, offering her a candy from a small glass bowl on her desk.
Ranko took a peppermint and popped it into her mouth with a nod of thanks. It made her think of Fred, bringing a weak, fleeting smile to her face. “I’m working nights, I’m doing four homeschool classes to try and catch up to my grade level, I’m doing cheerleading. It’s just a lot.”
The elder woman bobbed her head in acknowledgement. “Anything else? How are things at home?”
Ranko cringed. She’d promised Akane she wouldn’t talk about their relationship at school, but she didn’t want to be caught lying to the principal. She decided to keep it vague. “It’s been hard lately. There’s been… lots of stress and stuff. Money, arguments, that sort of thing.”
“Do you have anyone to talk to about it?” The woman in the blue suit sat up in her chair, a look of genuine concern on her face.
The redhead nodded. “I have my mom, and my sisters. My therapist, too, when I can find time to go see him. And I mean, things aren’t really bad, they just… aren’t good, either. Ya know? But it doesn’t matter. I know I have to put that stuff aside when I come to school.”
With a smile, Miss Terada reached over the desk, placing her hand on top of Ranko’s. “Your dedication is admirable. Not just to school, but to everything you’re doing. But you’re also just a kid, Ranko. It’s okay to admit you can’t do everything all at once. Even now, as nervous as I know you are from being in here, I’d bet if I didn’t say anything for a minute or two, you’d be asleep in that chair. I asked your teachers, and they tell me you’re a bright girl, but your grades are progressively slipping. They didn’t say they’re upset at you for struggling. They say they’re worried about you. You can’t keep doing this to yourself, honey.”
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“I don’t have a choice,” Ranko said with a hollow voice born of worn-out determination.
“Of course you do,” the principal replied. “You could cut back on the homeschool classes, or drop cheerleading. I’m guessing you can’t quit your job, but maybe you could cut your hours back. You have options.”
Ranko shook her head vigorously, wincing as the caffeine headache flared up. It was constant these days. “I can’t cut cheerleading and I can’t cut back at work. People are counting on me. And if I drop the homeschool classes, I won’t graduate this year.”
“So, worst case scenario, you stay with us another semester or two. I bet the cheerleading squad would love to have you back next year. Consider this: it doesn’t matter if you cram your schedule full of extra classes if you fail the ones you’re in here because you can’t stay awake through a lecture or get your homework done on time.”
Ranko rubbed her temples. The headache was getting really bad. She had some Tylenol in her bag, but she couldn’t take it until she could get out of the office and get a drink. “Are you telling me I have to drop something?”
Miss Terada shook her head. “Not yet. You’re eighteen; you’re almost a grown woman. So, for right now, this is just advice. But if you keep having problems, I’m going to ask for a meeting with your mother. You strike me as the kind of girl who likes to handle her own problems, so I’m giving you the chance to do that, but I’m not going to stand by and watch you drown, either.”
Nodding gently, Ranko gave a quiet sigh. “I’ll think about it, ma’am. I just want to catch up, and make the people who care about me proud. I’m… not real used to having people be proud of me, and I don’t want to screw it up.”
The principal pursed her lips. “Oh, Ranko, honey, I’m sure your family and everyone will be proud of you regardless. In fact, I dare say they might be even more proud of you for admitting when you’re in over your head and taking steps to protect yourself or ask for help. That’s an even harder thing to do than pushing yourself until you drop, and it takes a bigger person to do it.”
“They just…” Ranko rolled her eyes, fixating her eyes on the model airplane on the principal’s desk to avoid making eye contact. “They think I’m so great. Like, they tell me all the time that I’m smart, and I’m capable of anything I set my mind to, and all of that stuff. I’ve never believed them. But I really wanted to. I want to live up to the person they think I am, because they’ve invested so much in me, and taken a chance on me when they didn’t have to, and I owe them that. I don’t want to disappoint them. Any of them. All I’ve ever been is a disappointment, and I don’t wanna feel like that anymore.”
Shaking her head, the principal patted Ranko’s hand across the desk again. “Ranko, sweetheart, I don’t think you understand just how remarkable what you’re doing is. According to your file, you were out of school for a year or more, and your placement exams put you barely eligible for high school classes. You don’t get from where you were then to where you are now in that short amount of time without busting your butt, young lady, and that’s an achievement to be very proud of. I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive, and I’ve never seen anybody come that far, that fast. I’ll bet you if I did call your mother in here, she’d say the same thing. You seem to be doing well socially, too, the incident with Noriko Showa last week notwithstanding.” She smirked. “Not that I don’t think she had it coming, just between you and me.”
Miss Terada stood. “I want you to make me a promise, Ranko. I want you to commit to me that you will take care of yourself, and trust that the people who care about you want to see you not just excelling, but being happy and healthy. Talk to them. You can even come talk to me if you need to. But please, don’t push yourself so hard that you hurt yourself trying to help yourself.”
Ranko nodded. “I’ll do my best, ma’am.” She stood, and as she started to bow, the headache reached a crescendo and she wobbled a bit on her feet, steadying herself on the back of the chair she’d just risen from. “I need to get to class.”
Shaking her head, the principal pulled out a notepad and started writing on it. “No, I think you need to go see the school nurse.”
Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, Ranko managed to regain her balance. “There’s nothing she can do for me. It’s just a headache, and I’ve got medicine for that in my bag.”
The principal handed her the note, addressed to the nurse. “Maybe she can’t help. But I’d bet that an hour or two of sleep on the cot in the clinic might.”