When Mena returned to her room, her friends had fallen asleep (or eternal rest in Janus’ case.) She couldn’t wait to tell them about her revelation but figured it would be the best thing to talk about at the breakfast table. She could hardly still her heart from beating excitedly, but at last, she drifted into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning, Mena gathered her food in the cloud dining hall. Sunlight gleamed brightly on clouds of ice crystal; the sky was frozen but full of a bright bitter blue hue. Green scrambled eggs from the Castle Liccans plopped onto her plate, and she returned to her friends with news to share. The young witch was about to talk when a loud voice interrupted her. Much to her surprise, it wasn’t Gemini but Cumberson on her pink cloud, giving the morning announcements. Gemini sat behind her with the other teachers; reservation was on his face.

“Students of Nightdream Academy,” Cumberson said with a look of confidence. “Today, Gemini has taken up my offer to allow me to do the morning announcements, and I have taken the initiative without him to invite some very special guests.”

Everyone groaned. It was far too early for an assembly, but Cumberson retained her cool. “They hail from Wormwood. The Nightdream PTA, incidentally, who make the big decisions for this school.”

Everyone gave a double groan.

“Like me, they only want the best for you, good little apples,”

Cumberson called out, “Oh girls,” and her pink cloud moved aside. A dark storm cloud billowed, and a curious crowd of people appeared in a puff of smoke.

The woman in front of the crowd was fair skinned and sported a purple overcoat with a golden badge. It read ‘Safety Officer.’ She was very attractive for her age, and her brunette hair fell neatly on her shoulders. Unfortunately, the woman behind her shared none of her dermic perfection or facial symmetry. They were a lot taller with lumpy misshapen faces and warts in strange places.

The fair skinned woman spoke in a sweet, polite, yet passive aggressive manner. “Thank you kindly Lo-ree-ree,” she said with exuberance to Cumberson.”

Then she turned to everyone else. “And thank you, Nightdream Academy for having us. In addition to being the Nightdream PTA, we have formed the M.A.P.P, Mothers Against Phantom Possession. We’d like to sing to you about the dangers of falling under the spell of a wicked beast from the Nightmare Void.”

Despite the subtemperate elevation of the school, a bead of sweat formed on Mena’s brow. Phantom Possession? They didn’t mean…

The fair skinned witch winked to the audience. “Here’s a hint: it often ends with you becoming a degenerate clown.”

The woman snapped her fingers and a banner of a cross eyed clown with Gemini’s purple suit and curly hair dropped down.

Everyone gasped. Mena stared at Gemini. He looked like he wanted to disappear but couldn’t for the good of the whole school.

The moms behind the Safety Officer began to hum in their deep voices. Snapping followed and the Safety Officer bobbed her rhythmically to the beat. Her voice filled the air. It was thin, wispy but strangely forceful:

“You don’t need to be clairvoyant to know he’s positively flamboyant.

Seven-inch heels and a painted face,

Boy this headmaster is such a disgrace

Why do think this is, kids?

Why?

What’s the meaning for his social regression?

Why?

He’s under Phantom Possession

Phantom Possession makes you really dumb

So, it’s no surprise this fool is under one

We warn you not to go down his path

With Phantom Possession, you’ll simply sit around and laugh

Mothers from every town

We ask you now

Would you think this is sound?

For your kids to attend a school run by this clown?”

The Safety Officer took a breath. “Phew, not a note out of place.”

Like a bullfrog proud of her offspring, Cumberson patted the officer on the back. “Thanks for that spirited and very informative performance. I’m sure you’ve touched the hearts of these young, impressionable students”—Cumberson turned to Gemini and snarled—“And diverted them away for a path of degeneracy.”

Gemini looked utterly pale, even with his tanned pallor.

This probably would have happened in his worst nightmare, Mena thought. Caligari was looking uneasy as well. Much to everyone’s relief, the PTA leader and her entourage vanished after taking bows.

Cumberson’s cloud soared high, so it overlooked the whole school. From that angle, everyone witnessed all five of her chins. “I hope you’ve enjoyed this morning PSA, aspiring ladies. Now you know not to get strung out with a phantom.”

Cumberson’s beady eyes surveyed each young witch. “Before the morning bell chimes, I’d like to mention this: This would not be possible without one very special student.”

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Cumberson’s flabby arm pointed to the far back. “Phenomena Willow bravely informed me about this degenerate headmaster. She is looking out for each one of you.”

Everyone turned to face Mena. The Tessellations snickered like imps and Ashlan turned up her nose. Even Janus looked surprised. Only May seemed to realize the machinations of her mother.

Mena squeaked helpless and hid her face. Peering at Gemini through her hands, the headmaster looked away before vanishing behind a tarot card.

“That is all,” Cumberson smiled, and the bell chimed.

Mena dragged herself to Cumberson’s class, but not before telling her friends about her experience and her worries for exposing Gemini.

“My mummy’s a petty old hag when she wants to be,” said May, carrying her books against her chest. “There’s nothing you did wrong.”

Janus wrapped her bony arms around her friends. “Relax. My daddy keeps tabs on petty old hags, especially those who are getting up there in years.”

“Thanks for understanding, guys” Mena said. She had to force herself to smile. “I only feel bad for betraying Gemini’s trust.”

“Don’t worry,” May said, puffing out her cheeks. “We’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

But in class, Cumberson was trying her best to make sure it happened again.

“Class,” Cumberson said, a striped witches hat on her head. “I hope today’s presentation helped open your eyes to the debauchery in this school. Sometimes it looms in the darkest corners, and you’ve simply got to smoke it out. That’s why…”

Cumberson tapped her head. “Magic, help me pitch, these golden baubles to the loudest snitch.”

Small brooches appeared before them, shaped like golden ears. “I’m awarding special badges for anyone who helps promote goodness in this school.”

“And for the first, and most important tattle tail of them all. I present this to you, Phenomena Willow.”

Like a bee, the ear whizzed around the room before stapling itself in Mena’s robe. Mena grumbled and her ears turned bright red. She tried to remove the badge, but it was stuck.

“I’d keep that dear,” Cumberson laughed. “It’s solid gold. Perhaps it can help you buy new schoolbooks.”

“Oi, what a good look for you, peasant,” Laetitia chortled.

Her twin sister joined in the merriment. “’Ow lovely to have something worth more than your whole existence.”

Only May offered Mena any look of sympathy. “As for the rest of you,” Cumberson said, dramatically pointing at the class. “If any of you catch Gemini in the act, you will be rewarded all the same.

Much to Mena’s surprise, many of the girls clamored over the solid gold bauble. Even the Tessellation’s seemed intrigued. “Per ‘aps we can get rid of zat royal imbecile for a price like that,” Laetitia remarked and began to jot words down in her notebook

Marie laughed too, removing a signed picture of a scrawny but handsome man in a cape. “Sweet Professor Gaia shall be revenged.”

After class, Mena rushed to the top of the stairs and entered the Sun Tower. She was trying hard to forget what had happened. She grasped her notebook, which contained her “Kool” lesson plan for Stellaris. At least that was something to looking forward to.

Stellaris entered the room, her spiked hair and radiant skin gleaming. Ashlan and the Tesselation’s rudely yawned.

Mena beamed. Sliding her lesson plan out from underneath her study books; it was time to innovate on a teacher with so much potential, despite being an eon old.

“Welcome,” Stellaris said, in her chipper voice as old, yet supercharged like the sun. “To our second class. I’m so excited to have you here with me today.”

Mena cleared her throat, causing Stellaris’ bright blue eyes to shift towards her. “Oh right,” Stellaris said, “My new assistant teacher, Mena Willow will be helping me today.”

Everyone gave skeptical glances as Mena got up. Her arms crossed, and there was a confident grin on her face. “Thanks Stella…dog.” she said with a bold, if somewhat stilted swagger.

“Did you call me a dog?” Stellaris’ eyes widened, and everyone went “ohhhhh.”

“Yes,” Mena said with a head nod. “But a dog is one of the coolest things you can call someone. It’s called slang!”

“Oh ok,” Stellaris bobbed her head and smiled, “Thank you Mena… dog.”

“Now,” Mena said, “Let’s get rid of that happy-go-lucky attitude. Cool people say things all in one tone of voice. Slowly, slightly deep and very aloof.”

Stellaris took a deep breath and tried as hard as she could to quash her excitable expression and lively eyes. She lowered her flighty voice and said in a surprisingly deep tone, “Welcome dogs. To our second class. I’m so aloof about having you here today.”

“Uh…” Mena said, her eyes slightly twitching “Perhaps this will help. Magic magic will you flip, my teacher from lame to hip!”

White sparkles surrounded Stellaris’ head, plopping a black beret on her head and dark sunglasses covering her eyes. Her large eyes squinted through the sunglasses, and she put her hand on the beret that crushed her fluffy spiked hair. “Mena, honey, I don’t know if this is my style…”

“But this is the style of cool!” Mena said with her hands on her hips. “And now, Stella, you’re the kooly-est with a side of sliced kool.”

“Oh ok,” Stellaris said, easing into a smile. Mena removed a loose-leaf piece of parchment from her notebook.

“And now, read this in your newfound, koolfound voice!” Mena said, “Oh and point at the ground while you do it.”

“Er…okay,” Stellaris said, still squinting through the sunglasses but now pointing at the ground in tandem. “Welcome to this class, one and all. In Dream Divination, we’re bound to have a ball. Let’s write our dreams down from behind our peepers, isn’t that so cool, golly jeepers?”

The jive session was interrupted by a loud clatter, the door swung open and Cumberson stomped in. Cumberson, who was clearly past Stella’s nonsense, pointed a pudgy finger at her. “Professor Stellaris Andromeda, what is the meaning of this. Is this how teachers act in this school? This is completely beyond the pale.”

Stellaris removed her hat and sunglasses with a concerned expression. “Mena, sit back down,” she said.

“Right,” Mena said, quickly hiding the bongo drums she had conjured to accompany Stellaris’ poetry.

“Now Stellaris,” Cumberson lectured. “I hate to do this to a respected teacher. But I want you to come with me.”

Stella’s radiant color drained from her face. Cumberson grabbed her by the hand. “We have much to discuss.”

As soon as Stellaris and Cumberson departed, the Tessellation’s loudly snickered. “Looks like tha hippie’s finally gonna get it,” Laetitia guffawed.

Mena’s eyes shot open and she stood up. “It was you who snitched on her.”

Marie reclined in her chair, a cherubic smile on her face. “’oo us?” Couldn’t be. We are such angels.”

Mena’s face turned bright red. “Looks like someone hasn’t learned their lesson,” she screamed at Marie. “Especially when it comes to talking through a duck bill.”

With a panicked look, Marie ducked under her desk, but Laetitia only grew more self-satisfied. “I wouldn’t if I were you peasant. Or else you’ll lose your coveted status with Kumquat Mom.”

Mena looked helplessly to Ashlan, but the lioness refused to look in her direction.

The door opened and Stellaris returned, an exasperated look on her face. “Are you ok, teach?” Mena asked.

Stellaris only shook her head. “Loreena thinks Gemini is the one who told me to talk like that. I got off with a warning, but she said ‘this is going against him.’”

After Dream Divination, Mena headed down to the library before closing. She was curious about the Dularectory and to get her mind off her disastrous day. Surprisingly, May seemed to know a lot about it.

“I used to use this for Gaia’s class when I had to look up certain cataclysms,” May told Mena and Janus as they reached the library. “It’s really useful.”

May lead them to an enormous black book. In golden letters it read, “Dularectory: BJR to Present Day.”

May opened it and Mena marveled. There were four much smaller books within the giant book. Each was emblazoned with different eras of Dula. “Wowie zowie,” Mena exclaimed, her eyes surveying them all. “I wish you told me about this. It would have made Gaia’s class a cinch.”

“Now watch this, “May said, and proudly put her hands on her love handles. “555 BJR.”

Like it was blown by an imaginary windstorm, one of the books pages flapped open to a specific page in Dula’s history. Everyone gasped.

A page was torn out of the book. Where there should have been an era, there was instead a letter with bright green handwriting folded in its place.

Mena grabbed it and read it aloud. “We know you’re looking for answers on the Unwritten Kingdom. Don’t…or you’ll meet a green, bubbly end.”