Over the next couple of months things settled down into a routine. Olivia was slowly learning where she fit in with the team. Sofia and Joseph were making good progress on their write up whilst still being able to help with the lab work. Zachariah, Natasha and Antonis spent their time between their mentoring duties and building the prototype senor array they’d been working on putting together.
That was the reason why the lab bench was covered in rows and rows of vials. There was a dull ping as Joseph ejected the last of the auto-pipettor tips into the bin next to him before crimping the last one shut and adding it to the end of the last, previously uneven, row. He looked over them before glancing at the man next to him. “Do you think we made enough?”
Antonis gave him a wry grin. “Ochi. We still need blind spikes from the others.”
Joseph chuckled despite himself. “I don’t think we have room for any more.”
Antonis’ lips twitched into a smile. “We have Nat and Zach.” Back when he started Joseph wouldn’t have understood how that answered his concerns, however after a few years in the team he was well aware of Natasha and Zachariah’s ability to make use of any space without wasting any.
Zachariah and Natasha arrived a few moments after Antonis stuck his head into the office to ask them for a hand. Once they had taken in the sight and sheer number of vials in front of them they shared a look. “This is what happens when we don’t supervise them.” Zachariah declared. “They have little chemical babies.”
Joseph raised an eyebrow at Zachariah, knowing that pretending to glare at him would only result in more teasing. Joseph and Antonis were both chemistry graduates and he knew that his own skill set still lay firmly within the discipline, Antonis on the other hand had a tendency to easily pick up new information and skills, making him more of an all-rounder these days.
Natasha giggled whilst giving the entire scene a hopeless look. “You want us to Tetris this mess into the fridge, don’t you?”
“Please?” Antonis asked nicely.
“Get us a tray of doughnuts and we’ve got a deal.”
“Zach!” Natasha scolded with a giggle.
“I buy you each doughnuts if you fit these in the fridge and you make us blind samples.” Antonis offered instead. Natasha had studied natural sciences before finding out she had a knack for software, meaning that whilst she didn’t have as much practical wet lab experience as Antonis or Joseph, she was the next most competent to make up standards for them. Though Joseph knew they’d have a differing opinion in whether or not it was simple enough for anyone to do. In theory she was right, but he also knew that in practise some people just weren’t precise or had the lab hygiene to make accurate, non-contaminated standards. Zachariah was a prime example, he had studied physics but was an engineer at heart and he was damn good at both, but he didn’t always understand that he really should wash his hands free from the grease he had a habit of getting covered in.
“Deal.” Zachariah agreed happily whilst Natasha and Joseph shook their heads at the pair.
~-x-~
Joseph and Antonis left them to it - mainly because they didn’t want to witness what they were about to do and how close they’d come to smashing any of those vials - and returned to the office. Sofia and Olivia were both busy at their computers but both glancing up to greet them with a smile.
As Joseph sat back down at his computer he checked his phone out of habit and was surprised to see a couple of missed calls from his parents. He frowned at the device in confusion before checking his watch. It wasn’t even close to lunch time and his parents were normally far too strict to call him during work hours, that would be unprofessional of them and of him if he answered. Even with Antonis’ desk between them Sofia caught his confusion and gave him a curious look as if to silently ask if he was okay, but he just offered her a deliberate and well practised smile to reassure her as best he could. He wasn’t sure she bought it but she respected his space enough to trust him to come to her if he needed and turned back to her work.
Joseph followed suit with his own computer to check his emails before attempting to return to the mammoth task of writing up the last few years of his life into a thesis. In the end he probably only managed another quarter of an hour before his curiosity got the better of him and he swiped his phone from the desk and stepped outside to ring them back.
He almost flipped a coin to choose which parent to ring, before deciding on his mother, it was more likely that his father would be busy. To his surprise she answered almost immediately. “Gabriel! Are you free this weekend?” She asked, clearly flustered and it was out of character enough to banish all thoughts of his distaste for his first name.
“Mum, what’s happened?” It wasn’t unusual for his mother to skip the pleasantries with him and jump straight to the organisation. It was unusual for her to do when sounding so stricken. It was highly unusual for her to be doing so whilst he was at work.
There was a telling silence. “Haven’t you spoken to your father?”
“...no.”
Another telling silence. Whatever was going on his mother had not expected to be the one to tell him. Joseph now assumed that she had simply rung him to tell him to ring his father and he was sure she was about to do just that now. “Gabriel, it’s your grandfather.” She finally admitted in a quiet, sad voice. “He...” She trailed off in a decision to spare him the details as worry churned in his stomach. “He’s dead.”
If it wasn’t for years of training in discipline and etiquette Joseph would have dropped the phone in shock. Instead it was as if time left him behind. He barely registered the rest of the conversation as his mind went into a loop of denial, certain he had misheard or misunderstood what his mother had just told him but unable to work out how. His mother had already moved on, talking about funeral arrangements and that he needed to be there. She knew he wanted to be there and she’d know his grandfather would have wanted him there. He wasn’t listening, how could he? His mother must have picked up on that as he was vaguely aware of her saying she’d text him the details before hanging up.
He couldn’t move. He just stood there staring into space as he leant against the wall after lowering the phone from his ear.
Unfortunately for him time kept going, it didn’t offer him the luxury of comfort or turning back to happier times. As someone passed him in the corridor and greeted him Joseph suddenly remembered that he was at work. He needed to get back to that. He needed to do something else. Anything else. He nodded resolutely to himself as if he could really do this and returned to his desk and once again checked over his emails before loading up the latest draft of his thesis again.
As he scrolled through he almost gave a little sardonic laugh. He wouldn’t have been studying for his PhD if it weren’t for his grandad. His father wanted him to go into business, he needed a qualification to match it. His grandad had encouraged Joseph to choose his own path, otherwise he would have left science behind at A-level. His grandad would always say that they walked in high circles and they had to act appropriately, but that didn’t mean you forgot about everything that made you human. Joseph almost laughed - genuinely this time - at the way he sometimes caught his grandad shaking his head or rolling his eyes when his father was trying to drill it into him that there were expectations to keep, ambitions to find and meet, and just as suddenly he almost found himself crying at the same memories. Those days were gone, the only real family he had was gone. His parents were too focused on appearances, money, the business... They had raised him and his brother in that vein. His grandad had shown him family wasn’t that cold.
He was startled out of his scattered memories by a gentle hand on his arm and his eyes focused on a concerned looking Sofia. “Giù, are you okay?” Her voice was soft, almost too soft and it almost broken him.
However, years of parental advise activated as if they had literally programmed him. “I’m fine.” He replied gruffly, pulling his arm away in the same manner. Sofia said nothing further, but she knew he was lying and she knew to keep an eye on him.
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
~-x-~
The rest of the day passed him by in a blur before he eventually went to bed far earlier than normal, unable to find the will to do anything else.
“Gabriel! Get down from there! Gabriel ignored the shrill voice of the nanny and defiantly climbed higher into the huge, sturdy chestnut tree. “Gabriel!”
“Make me!” He shouted back, dangling upside down and sticking his tongue out at the frantic woman.
“You’ll fall!” Her gasp almost a scream of terror at what would happen to her if the boy she was minding fell from such a height, the end of her job for sure. Gabriel didn’t care too much and let go of the branch with one hand to give her a cheeky wave.
“If the boy breaks his leg he might think twice about it next time.” A deeper voice chuckled as its owner strolled nonchalantly down the garden towards them. Gabriel quickly twisted back onto the top of the branch to watch the scene unfold below him as his grandfather joined them.
“Mr Lambert, sir, I was just -”
“Arguing with a stubborn ten year old?” His grandfather chuckled again. “I’ll deal with this, go and check on his brother.” The nanny nodded quickly and hurried away back to her younger charge. “Gabe, are you going to make an old man climb all the way up there or will you join me on solid ground?” He turned back to the young boy. Gabriel swallowed a mixture of shame and guilt as he slowly made his way back down to the ground. Once there he was unable to meet his grandfather’s gaze and choosing instead to look at his own knobbly knees as he fidgeted. “You are skipping your lessons again?” Gabriel nodded bashfully, knowing he’d been caught and knowing that it was better to get it over with, even if he didn’t quite dare face it head on. “Education is important, my boy.” His grandfather sighed reassuringly. “But I’m not such an old fool that I think me ordering you to pay attention will work. I remember being a young whipper snapper too, you know.”
“Did dinosaurs still exist then?”
“Cheeky.” His grandfather pretended to scold, but the two shared a secret smile at the young boys quip. “Do you like your new nanny?”
Gabriel scuffed his toes in the grass. “She’s okay, I guess.” There was a pause. “She’s better than the last one.”
“Then you won’t think it’s fair if she loses her job because you are being troublesome?” The way Gabriel chewed on the inside of his cheek meant that he did know, but didn’t quite want to admit that. “Then I think you’ve learnt your lesson for the day; to think of how you actions affect others. You’re a privileged lad, my boy, but that means you have responsibility too.”
Joseph startled awake at the memory, almost surprised to find himself taking up so much of the bed as the dream eeked from his mind and he remembered that he was an adult now, not a petulant child. He wiped at his face to dry it as the realisation washed over him that he’d never witness his grandfather’s kindness again. The way he would teach with gentleness rather than punishment. He treated the people around him with respect and dignity, often getting better responses than his father’s aggressive tactics. Joseph couldn’t understand how someone like his grandad had raised his dad, the two were so completely different. He had asked his grandfather once, who had sighed wistfully and admitted that he hadn’t been around his son as often as he should have.
It was his grandfather who had built up the family business from almost nothing, rescuing it from the brink of ruin. His father had ridden on the tailcoats of his successes rather than his own, not that his father wasn’t competent and doing a good job of expanding in his own right. However, Joseph rather suspected that if his father had to start from the same place as his grandfather their fortunes would not have been so good.
He tried to clear his mind again as he rolled slightly to get comfortable on his other side, a soft smile finding it’s way onto his face at Sofia’s peaceful form next to him. He gently, carefully stroked a hand along her arm, reassuring himself that she was real and sleeping soundly before withdrawing his hand again to try and join her.
“Grandad?” Joseph asked unsurely as he walked into his grandparents kitchen to find his grandfather staring at a tray of breakfast leftovers.
“Joe!” He nearly jumped. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in...” Joseph swallowed at the melancholy look on his grandad’s face.
“Is gran...” He trailed off, unable to ask if she was any better. Frustrated at his own fears, he wasn’t a child any more, his teenage hubris preventing him from realising that it was normal. Not yet fully understanding that growing up didn’t mean becoming impervious to emotions but reacting to them better.
“She’s a tough little lady, your grandmother.” His grandad sounded rueful. “She’s hanging in, but... the doctor’s aren’t optimistic.”
“I... is there anything I can do to help?”
“Just spend time with her.” His grandad’s voice was soft and gentle, as if he was warning him of something he didn’t want to voice out loud. Finally managing a smile. “I’ve been blessed having so many years with her. I made mistakes, some I owned and some I’m sad to say I didn’t, but she always forgave me and I never once stopped loving her like I did when I asked her to marry me.” The admission took Joseph by surprise. “When you find that much happiness with someone and they’re taken away from you, you mourn the time that you believe you should still have together. We lived full, happy lives for the most part, my only regret is taking her for granted. Never take your loved ones for granted, Joe.”
Joseph woke up hot with shame and wet with tears as they streamed down his face, throwing the covers off and burying his face in his hands as he sat on the edge of the bed. He had spoken with his grandfather most weekends, yet now he felt like he had rather taken him for granted. He could hear him chuckling at stories of his latest exploits, the way he would dote on Sofia and remind him to cherish such a lovely gem for as long as she gave him the privilege, the sad silence as Joseph wouldn’t admit the last time he had spoken to his parents or brother.
“Giù?” Sofia’s voice was thick and sleepy as she rolled and placed a warm hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles into his skin as she tried to comfort him. “What is wrong?”
“I...” He stuttered as he tried to compose himself. “Nothing.” He tried to promise and his stomach churned uneasily at the fact it was clear she didn’t believe him. He shouldn’t be lying to her, but he wasn’t ready to talk about this. Not yet. “Go back to sleep.” He whispered as he turned to press a kiss to her forehead.
“If you are sure...” She murmured, settling down onto her pillows and pulling the duvet tightly around her. She knew trying to make him talk when he didn’t want to was a lost cause. “Get back into bed.” She added as a soft order.
“Gabriel Joseph Lambert!” Joseph cringed as he heard his mother’s shout through the house. He braced himself as he made his way towards the source of the commotion.
“Yes, mother?” He asked. She brandished a letter towards him. “You read my mail?” That one action had his indignation matching her own.
“You still live in our house.” His father’s reminder was almost a threat.
Joseph swallowed his immediate retort and that gave his mother the opening she needed to start reading. “We hereby offer you a place to study for a Masters in Chemistry providing you meet the following requirements.” Joseph couldn’t stop the grin appearing on his face at the news. “Chemistry?”
“Why not?” He asked. “I’m good at it and I enjoy it. Besides it’s not like it’s in a useless subject.”
“We are raising you to run a business, not play in a lab.” Joseph’s heart sunk like a stone at the dismissive tone in his father’s voice. “You need to focus on business and enterprise, politics and diplomacy. You need to make connections and learn how to manipulate them and understand the stock markets.”
“Why not hire a business manager?” Joseph almost flinched at his own stupidity asking that question. It wasn’t like this wasn’t ground they hadn’t covered before.
“Has your grandfather planted this stupid idea in your head?” His father demanded. Joseph said nothing in response to that. They didn’t need to know who had encouraged him to live his best life rather than the life his parents wanted for him. “Go to you room and stay there until you’ve reconsidered this foolish application.”
Joseph curled up into a ball in an attempt to comfort himself as the loss manifested itself as an emptiness in his chest. His throat constricting as grief and regret washed over him and he tried to resist sobbing into his pillow. His parents had been cold and distant, only really caring about someone to carry on the family legacy - or their perceived notion of it. His grandfather had shown him that there was more to life than that. In many ways more like a father to him than his real one had ever been. His parents love had always been conditional, his grandad’s never had. He no longer had unconditional support from his family.
Just as the cold feeling of doubt and loneliness were taking hold of him a warm hand snuck over his shoulder and down his chest to find his heart as a warm body pressed closed to his back. Sofia pressed a gentle kiss to his shoulder. “I got you.” She whispered the promise against his skin and suddenly any damn he’d been attempting to build in front of the flood of emotions was destroyed and his whole body shook as he cried into his knees.
As the minutes ticked by he lost track of even why he was crying. At first it was because of the sadness of knowing he would never see his grandad again. Then it was of the bittersweet memories he had; happy times that hurt because he wouldn’t have more. The feeling morphed into self loathing as he remembered the times they argued and the uncertain guilt when he couldn’t remember if he’d apologised, they’d always made up, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t owed an apology or three. Looking back he wasn’t sure if he had been gracious enough to realise it.
Finally his heart seemed to steady, his emotions settling into something discomforting but manageable. He wiped his face as he carefully rolled to wrap Sofia in his arms and hold her tight, pressing a kiss into her hair and whispering that he loved her and didn’t deserve her. “What happened?” She asked as she stroked his back where they lay on their sides.
He didn’t want to say it, a small childish and unreasonable part of him wanting to believe it wasn’t true if he didn’t say it. “My grandad died.”
“Oh, Giù... I am so sorry.” Her hands tightened on him as she pressed a kiss against his chest where she could reach.
Her tone was so devoid of judgement or frustration about how he was dealing with it and it made tears well in his eyes again. Unconditional. He needed to learn to trust in that.