Sofia loved the feeling of freedom she got from skateboarding. She loved spending time outdoors and honing the technical aspects that allowed her to come up with new and better tricks. She loved the thrill she got when she finally mastered her latest challenge. She came to a graceful stop as she took in the late September scenery, the leaves were just starting to turn golden and red to break up the sea of greenery of the park the skate area was housed. Soon she’d have to start taking her lunch breaks on campus because the weather wouldn’t be good enough to venture outside, so she was making the most of it whilst she could.

“Yo, Moretti!” A shout across the skate park snapped her out of her head space. “You have eaten, right?”

Sofia rolled her eyes as she glided across to where the group of skaters were busy munching on their sandwiches. It made her cross to think that most people judged skaters as a mean, bad lot without getting to know them. Sure, some could be, but there were jerks in every walk of life. These guys formed an informal club of uni students who looked out for each other, she wouldn’t necessarily say they were all friends, more like the bond of teammates. She stepped off her board after checking her watch and she started peeling her pads off. “I eat already.” She explained as she stuffed her gear back into her backpack and shaking her long brown hair out of her helmet. “Bye!”

It wasn’t a long walk back to campus or the department - even when navigating crowded pathways with a skateboard under her arm - and she was soon back into the over-bright lights of corridors with no external windows. She’d been resident in the department for over three years now so she knew most of the faces she passed by, greeting them with nods, smiles and occasionally friendly words.

“Ah, Sofia, once you’ve put away that... contraption, I need a word with you in my office.” Sofia stopped as she heard Professor Allerton’s derisive voice from behind her. She’d heard people speak of gushing sarcasm in someone’s voice, Allerton was gushing disdain.

Sofia counted to ten before turning around. “Sì, Professor.”

Allerton nodded to herself before strolling away as if she owned the corridors and once she was out of sight Sofia dashed back to the team office. The quicker she got there the more time she had to find out what was going on, otherwise she was going in blind. She knew better to think that was a good idea. She knew at most she had ten minutes, something that Natasha had thoroughly tested since Allerton arrived and they all benefitted from that. Sofia knew that the rest of them benefitted a lot from Natasha’s impulsive and brash attitude, she wished that Natasha would give just a little more consideration to the affect it Sofia believed it would ultimately have on her own future.

She arrived to find the office completely empty. Where was everyone? Oh, right, Antonis and Natasha would be on their usual late lunch breaks, Joseph could well be with them. She checked her watch again, Zachariah would be on his post-lunch cigarette break getting the round up on the lunchtime news. That left Olivia who normally took an earlier lunch like she did. Sofia quickly strode - as much as her small frame allowed - towards the lab door and stuck her head through it. Meno male! “Olivia! What did I miss?”

Olivia looked up sharply in surprise, causing her long, ginger hair flick around her head. “What?”

“Allerton wants to see me.”

“Oh, look.” Olivia pointed behind Sofia towards the notice boards on the wall the office shared with the corridor. Sofia turned to look at what Olivia was offering as explanation and what she saw was a new notice, with five darts in it which someone had wound some string around to create a star that outlined the contents. Sofia let the door shut behind her as she went to go and investigate it. As she got nearer she realised it as an announcement about the Backus competition - a campus run initiative that offered a cash prize for creative or innovative programming - and that the string star outlined her name as top prize winner. “Mio Dio!” She breathed as she traced the string in complete awe.

Sofia hadn’t expected to win, in fact she hadn’t been going to enter the competition at all until Natasha repeatedly encouraged her to submit her work on integrated power management. She smiled to herself as she remembered Zachariah telling Natasha to leave her alone, before he paused and added that she should listen to her. For all the disruptive and hardened nature of the team - some members especially - they did care about each other and it cheered her no end to see them do things like this for each other. Even if she was usually the one leading it.

Right now she felt like a kid again, when her primary school artwork had been stuck onto the fridge. Sofia couldn’t stop her nostalgic chuckle at the fact that that had probably been the last time her parents understood what it was that she did. She sighed as she retracted her hand, she missed her family. As the middle of three children she could be invisible when she wanted, but with a large extended family - both sets of grandparents, a handful of aunts and uncles on both sides, plus a dozen or so cousins - that were all incredible close to each other she had never felt lonely, no matter what was happening. She messaged and called them all frequently, but it wasn’t the same. However, it was the little, daft gestures like this that reminded her that she had a family here too.

Sofia took a steadying breath. Now all she had to do was find out how her supervisor planned on exploiting her win. It might seem selfish, but she was not donating the five hundred pounds to the department, ever since she started her PhD she’d had her eye on a nice new laptop. She just hadn’t been able to afford it.

~-x-~

Sofia was instantly worried and suspicious when Allerton not only greeted her in a perfectly pleasant manner, but appeared to be giving her her full attention. “Do you have much experience in public speaking?” Allerton asked after offering Sofia a seat.

“A bit.” Sofia resisted chewing her lip, she had given presentations before but she couldn’t say that she enjoyed it.

“I see.” Allerton decided before passing her a piece of paper. “Then it’s a good thing that I’ve taken the liberty of preparing an acceptance statement for you.”

Sofia frowned at the paper and not only because of it’s contents. “What is this for?”

“Oh, how silly of me.” Allerton replied in a fake, sweet voice that cloyed on Sofia’s nerves. “There is a formal event tonight to present the winners with their prizes.” She paused as she eyed Sofia. “You do have something appropriate to wear, I hope.”

Sofia raised a pointed eyebrow at that, mainly in an attempt to stop herself making a response about fake designer suits. Natasha had been a terrible influence on her, thankfully she had Antonis to provide the counter example of behaviour. “Is this necessary?”

“Absolutely.” Allerton was emphatic as she leant forward on her desk. “I don’t expect you to understand the finer points of how we acquire our funding, but it never hurts to publicise any win for our team. Even something as... meagre as this.” For someone as seemingly politically astute as Allerton, Sofia couldn’t understand why she spent so long patronising those around her, did it not occur to her that one day someone she treated badly might rise above her? Or was she hedging her bets that people wouldn’t achieve anything without encouragement? “On that note, what do you plan on doing with the prize money?”

Sofia felt her blood run cold, she had expected to be asked and she feared what Allerton’s real motives for asking would be. She had worked hard to create that solution, even if it was technically for their team, didn’t she deserve something for it? “I am going to get a new laptop.” She admitted, hoping that if she acted like she believed Allerton was only asking out of friendly curiosity that she might be able to head it away from anything else.

Allerton nodded. “I’m sorry to hear that.” She glanced at her hands as she made a point of twisting them where they otherwise rested on her desk. “With our funding situation the way it is... I was hoping you might consider donating it.”

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“Our funds are that precarious?”

Allerton nodded gravely. “I know you and Joseph are both hoping to be kept on at the end of your PhDs and I have been trying to spare your feelings whilst the budgets are currently in flux... But it’s not looking good.”

Sofia fidgeted as her eyes found the piece of paper with Allerton’s prepared statement, where she thanked the professor and department specifically for the opportunities that had led to her win. Allerton had had nothing to do with it. “You said it was meagre.”

“In desperation even meagre amounts are worth something.” Allerton’s tone was completely neutral but somehow imploring. Sofia suspected she was being played, but did she think that purely because she’d spent too much time around Zachariah and Natasha? Was she assuming this was nonsense because she was being selfish about that laptop? Allerton must have sensed her vulnerability. “So I can expect your donation within the coming days?” Sofia closed her eyes - desperate not to cry - and nodded quietly. “Good choice. I expect you to have memorised your statement and arrive promptly on Friday.”

~-x-~

By the time Friday rolled around Sofia wasn’t entire certain she felt any more like partying. She’d been so excited when she saw that she’d won first place, but now she was sipping champagne - or whatever this cheap substitute everyone was calling champagne was - with a polite smile trying not to slink into a corner and eat her weight in canapés, or tiny bruschetta, or indeed any of the antipasto that were being served. She finally managed a smile at the thought that if Antonis were here he’d have easily swiped a whole tray without a second thought to cheer her up with. He lacked the care for social graces required at these events that would prevent Joseph from doing the same thing.

In truth, even if she weren’t feeling despondent about the whole affair, events like this weren’t her thing, in truth she detested them. Everyone wanted something and it was like being surrounded by sharks, unable to escape the office politics that Professor Allerton played. It didn’t matter which direction she turned in, there were no safe routes through the room. Not that there were many people she wanted to talk to as she excused herself - with a polite smile, of course - from a conversation with the professor who’d told her to quit after her first tutorial so many years ago as a fresher. He had changed his tune, she thought bitterly to herself.

She smoothed her burgundy velvet dress down with her free hand as she held her wine glass in the other. She found herself suddenly grateful for the conversation where Natasha had convinced her that no matter how pretty clutch bags looked, they were completely useless. Though they did give her something to do with her hands, she mused as she smiled imagining the horrified look on Natasha’s face at the impractical pencil skirt instead. One day Sofia would convince the other woman that aesthetics could be worth a little impracticality now and then. Though they firmly agreed that no one should own a pair of shoes they couldn’t run in.

Finally she found the one person at this event she wanted to speak to and smiled into her wine. In contrast to the discomfort she found at these events, Joseph was truly in his element. Dressed in an immaculate designer suit, a shade of green so dark it made Sofia think of a forest at midnight and happily regaling a group of people with some anecdote or other. He knew how to work a room, after all, he’d been groomed to do so from an early age given the expectations and ambitions his parents had for him. He made it look easy how he would join a conversation, share just enough stories and pleasantries to appear friendly without being overbearing and then depart with grace to move on to the next group of people.

She carefully made her way between people, chairs and tables to join the group he was talking to, not stumbling at all in her heels. She slipped into the group as politely as she could to hear the end of the story and politely offering a small titter when everyone else did, trying to give the pretence that she knew exactly what he was talking about.

Once he’d finished with that tale Joseph turned his million watt smile on her and placed a hand on the back of her shoulder; familiar and comforting but not too forward. “May I introduce Sofia Moretti, my girlfriend, and winner of this years Backus award.” His voice full of pride as he waved his other hand towards her and it almost looked like he was toasting her with the glass in it. Sofia smiled shyly and gave a tiny wave as he proceeded to introduce everyone else in the group. She tried her best to take in all their names, but she had been introduced to so many people this evening already she was starting to struggle and most of their names passed straight through her memory without saving.

It didn’t matter too much because not long later the announcer called everyone to take a seat so that they could present the winners with their prizes. Sofia excused herself and made her way to the side of the stage where the second and third place students were also making their way too, casually putting her wine glass down on a passing table. She only knew the third place winner, another computer science student who’d been in the year below her. The three of them shared a nervous smile and quiet congratulations as they waited for their names to be called up one by one to receive their reward.

A wave of butterflies made themselves at home in Sofia’s stomach as she waited her turn, watching the other two students be presented with their trophies - their prize money was done by bank transfer - both shaking hands with the head of the computer science faculty, both of them giving a brief statement of thanks before stepping down the other side of the stage. She was nervous enough about this as it was, not wanting to be that person who tripped and fell face first into the lectern - though Zachariah would simply tell her to style it out - or something equally foolish. More than that she was nervous about who she thanked, she wanted to thank her friends and family for giving her the confidence to chase her dreams, she didn’t want to lie and thank Allerton and the department. Equally she didn’t want to face Allerton’s wrath if she didn’t go with the prepared statement.

She heard her name called and she plastered a smile on her face as she climbed the few stairs onto the stage, strolling along it with a confidence she didn’t feel. She thanked the professor, shaking his hand as he presented her with a trophy, then turned to face the crowd. She swallowed as she cast her gaze around, finding Joseph in the crowd who was gave her a nod of encouragement, but on the way her eyes had seen the stern eyes of Allerton.

“Thank you for this award.” Sofia started, at least she truly meant that. “And I would just like to thank Professor Allerton for her help and the opportunity to work on the project that inspired the work.” She kept smiling even if disappointment settled into her stomach like a stone, but she just wasn’t as brave - or as Antonis would say; stupid - as Natasha. It just wasn’t in her nature to rock the boat for something so trivial.

With that out of the way she made her way down the other side of the stage and made her way over to her seat for the dinner that had been prepared. It was partly an event to celebrate the students achievements but it’s real aim was to provide networking opportunities for the winners - and a number of runners up the judges considered worthy - with experts in the field.

Right now she would rather go and curl up on her sofa with a giant bowl of gelato and video chat with her sisters.

She found her seat next to Joseph - he was her plus one - and carefully placed her trophy between glasses, cutlery, condiments and the centrepiece. He instinctively reached out and wrapped his large hand over hers and gave a reassuring squeeze. It wasn’t enough to calm all of her shattered nerves - she knew that wasn’t his fault - but it was enough to settle her stomach enough to eat. The food was better than the wine, but that wasn’t saying much. Sofia didn’t see the point in fancy food if it didn’t taste like, well, food. Zachariah would tell her never to say no to free food, Natasha would say there’s no such thing as free. Sofia was trying to remember what she’d think about it but she couldn’t escape the fact that the meat was rubbery and half the vegetables squeaked against her teeth. It was almost a good thing she had no appetite.

Sofia was eternally grateful for Joseph’s natural - was it natural when charm was drilled into you from an early age? - ability to guide a conversation and hold attention. She knew that right now he was doing it to keep the spotlight away from her so that she could eat in peace and try and centre herself for the rest of the evening. She picked up on the way he’d keep returning his hand to her arm or glancing at her as she ate in relative silence. How she wished Allerton hadn’t decided to sour the experience with her damn ambition. It wasn’t like Sofia couldn’t have name dropped her repeatedly during the evening to all the well wishers and experts.

Eventually dinner was over and people started to drift away from their tables to mingle again. She reached for her wine glass again to take another long sip. Was it her imagination or was this getting more tolerable as the evening progressed? She was certain that was a sign of concern. “Can we escape?” She asked quietly as Joseph turned to her.

He chuckled. “Soon.” He promised as he leant to press a kiss to her forehead. He wanted to scoop her up into a warm hug but if he did, not only would he get her make-up all down his suit, he would probably knock her perfectly styled hair out of place.

“You two!” They both cringed as they heard a shrill voice from across the table. “This is no time to be alone. Go, mingle, network!” Allerton ordered sharply.

“Save me, Giù?” Sofia mouthed as Joseph stood up.

“Later.” He gave her a sympathetic smile before heading off to continue mingling.

Sofia glanced around her at the sea of people then reached for her wine glass and downed the dregs, pulling a face - was this really what the British called wine? - whilst knowing that she needed it if she was going to survive the rest of the evening.