Light.

Light?

Bright light.

Oh boy, death.

No, wait. That’d be too easy.

This light isn’t holy. It’s got no comfort. It’s what you might call plastic.

Inauthentic.

Stupid? Maybe.

Then a pale face morphs out of the light, and I feel the splinters of the wooden desk beneath my body.

“A fine job,” the pale man says. “I must say you are making exceedingly good progress.”

My little raisin eyes open.

“Progress?”

He beams his smile at me – equally lacking in authenticity.

“Indeed, Asset 5. You are closer to your destination than we anticipated at this point. Your impromptu teleportation was met with great acclaim by our Handlers. If you continue in this manner, our termination goal may even be on schedule, despite your predecessor’s premature expiration.”

He continues scribbling away with his quill on the papers in front of him, working with inhuman speed, his stylus forming letters I can’t even comprehend.

He looks up when he sees I haven’t moved a muscle.

“Oh. Forgive me, you may see yourself out, Asset 5. You may be on schedule, but I’m afraid we have much to prepare for.”

“Tell me this,” I say, letting my tongue loll out to touch his table and realizing that it’s not wood at all. In fact, I doubt it’s even real. I doubt any of this is real. “Am I dead this time?”

He sniggers. But it’s more like he’s doing it to try and show something like human emotion. I know this guy ain’t a mortal man.

And, thinking about it, he can’t be a figment of my imagination, can he?

My mind isn’t this goddamn boring.

“Of course not, Asset 5,” he says through his incessant scribbling. “I told you: we are your benefactors. We can’t have you expiring this early. Not when you have already shown you are more than capable of carrying on the task required of you.”

“And in exchange for me, you’ll let others die, is that right?”

He cocks his head at me in apparent confusion.

I’m starting to hate that about him.

“Aethel didn’t have to die,” I say, remorse suddenly overtaking my heart. “He seemed like a good guy. He could’ve done a better job than me at this Lightborn thing…”

“You speak of the Homo-Sapien you met?” The Pale-ass replies. “His decision was one taken independently. We see this as a great indicator of your success.”

I eye him with fury. If he reads that on my face, he doesn’t show it.

“You encouraged in him the very noble sacrificial instinct inherent to all mortals,” he continues nonchalantly. “Perhaps it was your form that did this. Perhaps it was your words, or your brave actions in the face of adversity. Regardless, you secured your own survival in the face of certain expiry. An exemplary performance, I must say.”

“I didn’t want him to die!” I roar. Though in my state its more of a squeak that barely echoes. The faint sound I do make is swallowed by the constant tick tick tock of the clocks.

“You are an Asset,” the Pale-Man responds simply. “You have a task to complete, and others shall expire as a result of your progress. This is fact. We understand mortals find such facts troubling, but it is much better to come to terms with the finite nature of one’s existence. Ironically,” he adds with another fake little chuckle. “The individuals you shall soon meet in the Waking World provide a good reminder of this lesson. Eternity brings with it its own pressing concerns.”

“Here’s a lesson for you,” I say feebly, as I feel the table begin to melt away under me, and my paws run on nothing but the black void of a bad dream. “Next time you bring me here, at least give me a biscuit or something. Then I’ve got a reason to listen to your crap.”

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

And before I fall away back into reality, I hear him giggle like an idiot again.

“Always a kidder.”

----------------------------------------

COMBAT ENCOUNTER: CORGI/COMMON WOLF/STEPPE HUMAN VS SEEDED ELF

Encounter Results: Corgi + Common Wolf Successful Flight

[Core Skill Increases]

Bark LVL: 2->3

*ABILITY MORPH AVAILABLE

New [Core Skill] Gained: Belchomestry

LVL 1

You may synthesize alcoholic spirits from reagents with the property:

After consumption of a spirit, you may use a [Belch] action to expel the spirit. Effects vary depending on type of spirit digested and Belchomestry skill level

A Successful [Belch] action results in Status Condition: {Hangover} for 6 hours after ingestion

Hangover Length: 3 hours

Yeah. That’s waaaaay too much information for a dog with a hangover.

There’s a sentence I never thought I’d ever say.

Actually wait, what’s a hangover?

It’s a human thing, right?

Aethel would know.

Aethel…

Damn it.

I thought remorse would be one of those emotions only humans would feel. Their lives are just long enough and just short enough that death is real sad.

Us dogs barely get to know eachother before we snuff it. It’s sad, sure, but our brains aren’t meant to dwell on it. We don’t have the time.

Except…now I do, don’t I? Now that I’m this mutant thing – Lightborn. Loafblade. Whatever. Now I gotta think about death.

It feels like taking the worst bath in the world. With a set of clammy old hands cleaning me.

“Aethel…” I mouth, wanting desperately to just go back to sleep and yet knowing, if I do, that I might see that Pale creep again.

I decide the best thing to do before anything else is make a decision on my new MORPH. What I’ve learned from being a hero for the last 72 hours is that one new skill can be the difference between life and death…

[BARK MORPH OPTIONS]

CACOPHONOUS BARK: Bark now affects up to 3 enemies.

REPULSIVE BARK: Bark now pushes enemies away up to 35 ft.

You know, I feel like forcing people further away from me is a good idea. Especially in a world like this, where everyone tends to be bat-shit insane.

[ABILITY MORPH SELECTED: REPULSIVE BARK]

Right. Now that that’s taken care of, let’s take stock of our surroundings…

I barely open my eyes and see before me two huge pillows, fluffy and round and…warm.

I nuzzle into them and feel them wrap themselves round me. I paw at them and my legs disappear into their softness. It’s like they’re filled with jelly. Jiggly. Supple. And I find that they’re beginning to lull me back to sleep. A deeper slumber than I had just been having.

Then, finding me between my two cuddly mountains, a soft hand caresses the back of my head.

“Chi’Patahrk…”

My eyes shoot open now.

You have gained the title: Elfkin

You gain the following [Core Skills]:

Comprehend Languages: Elf (Passive)

My head shoots up to see the blushing features of a beautiful, pale girl with long pointed ears, the auburn threads of her hair cascading down her shoulders. Her breath is raspy, deep, and her voice pure as an angel’s as she mouths her words down at me:

“Oh, please – please be gentle, dear.”

My kneading paws stop abruptly, and I slowly tilt my head down to see what I’ve been snuggling into…

Only in the ancient legends of dog-dom are they spoken of. The sacred mounds of flesh all human females bear that have the power to hypnotize and control the minds of males.

I prod one again. They’re comfy, sure, but they don’t seem so special…

“Oh!” she suddenly exclaims. “So…so rough…”

This girl needs to get out more.

Anyway, enough of this. I’ll just explain to this girl that this silly situation is all a misunderstanding. I was simply in a state of dream-like stupor. I thought her breasts were a pair of comfy pillows, that’s all. No harm done.

“D-dear?” she whispers. “Why do you stop?”

I look up at her and try to wriggle free of her voluptuous mammeries.

But – damn! These things are strong!

“I – eugh– I can’t – let me!”

“Oh – oh my!” she wails, biting her finger at me. “I had no idea the Lightborn was such a tease…”

“I’m! *cough*Trying! *cough* To escape!”

“It…it’s ok,” she says, petting me gently as I wriggle to be free. “I know you must be curious. I’ll…I’ll grin and bear it. For the good of the world.”

WHY DO I ONLY MEET WEIRDOS?!

At this moment a door opens near us, and the girl gasps, dropping me instantly to the hard oaken floorboards. As I gasp for breath, barely able to process the small, basic cottage that surrounds us, I hear the girl shout at the figure that has found us both.

“Sister!” she squeals.

Thank goodness! I think. My savior!

I run to the feet of the new arrival – another pointy eared girl like my buxom tormentor. This one, however, is much thinner, clad in threads of shining silver armor and a skirt that looks like it’s gilded with a set of painted branches. Her chest is far more covered than the other girl’s, but her bare, pale shoulders and neckline tell me she is similarly as striking as her sister. Her short, cropped hair frames a freckled face that stares down at me with a set of shining sapphire eyes.

Affixed to her waist is a twinkling silver broadsword.

And as I look up at her with relief smeared across my face, I watch those eyes fill with fire.

“Sister!” the barely clothed girl behind me shouts. “I – I can explain!”

I look back at her and see her try to cover her blushing face, heaving breasts and thin legs with the thin cover of the bed she’s sitting on.

“I sure hope so!” I shout. “Because I don’t have a clu-!”

My voice stops in my throat as I hear a sword being drawn from its scabbard.

I turn slowly to see the seething anger etched on the face of my apparent savior.

“Sister!” the naked woman shouts again.

The response that comes, spoken with pure, searing hatred, is aimed at me. Just as sharp as the sword that is thrust towards my head.

“PERVERT!”