“First of all, you need multiple exits. Do you think the multiverse wants to watch a group of Challengers walking miles to the only door in what could eventually take them all day to do?” Atrono asked.
“Ok, good point,” Rick said.
Atrono cast a gaze at Jimmy and looked down his nose at the Dungeon Attendant. “You should have marked these off ages ago.”
“Don’t get started with me, ponyboy. It’s been hectic and Rick’s been a little limited on Energy,” Jimmy said in defense.
Atrono snorted much like a horse through his human nose, “I don’t know what a ‘pony’ is, but I can guess that it’s some abominable version of a centaur. Please address me with respect going forward.”
Jimmy gave his fakest smile, “I wouldn’t dare disrespect such a highly esteemed individual as yourself.”
“Alright kids, that’s enough,” Rick said. “Jimmy has had a lot more on his plate than anyone can handle. You, Atrono, sound like you’ll be able to take some of that pressure off. The door idea is a good one and I’ll do that now while we talk.” Rick quickly erected a door with a neon green exit sign behind Billy’s shanty.
“Thank you, Rick,” Arturo said and straightened his orange mohawked back. “I understand that 600,000 Credits is quite out of reach at this early stage, so I propose a generous offer of 20% of all broadcasting proceeds for the next five years.”
“Nice try Arturo,” Jimmy said. “How many people or creatures are watching these things in the multiverse?”
“It’s Atrono,” the centaur snorted again. “The number is larger than your feeble mind could comprehend. But you have to realize that nobody is going to watch this place in the state that it is in. Not when there are dungeons that have been around since the dawn of time. The most popular dungeons might have hundreds of thousands of delvers at any given moment.”
Rick spoke telepathically to Jimmy, “I believe him. There are some seriously weird and expensive things in the Dungeon Shop. So let’s play our cards right. Start low at 5%?” Rick asked the last part.
Jimmy nodded, “We understand that perfectly. However, this is a unique opportunity. From what I understand, newly integrated planets have quite the market. Despite being a young dungeon, our broadcasts will give invaluable intel on Earth to any interested parties. Our offer is 5% for three years and then we can renegotiate depending on your performance, which I will be keeping a close eye on.”
The centaur licked its lips. Being caught in a lie of omission at the beginning of negotiations immediately put the centaur in a hole. Atrono must have thought that Jimmy was completely incompetent to have tried it at all. Not to mention the high percentage. Rick probably would have done the same thing in Atrono’s shoes. Or hooves? Whatever. The point was that Rick wasn’t mad. On the contrary, he was glad that Jimmy laid it on thick.
“Yes, of course. Did I say twenty percent? Oh, that’s much too high. But five percent is much too low, yes?” The centaur stammered.
“Now the offer is three percent,” Rick said. He hated it when someone negged the opening offer rather than providing something valuable to negotiate for.
Atrono’s eyes widened, “Ten percent, plus bonus commissions for reaching certain milestones.”
“Three percent, plus commissions. We know that you gain levels by making sales, so that’s double dipping. Were you going to tell us that before or after accepting?” Jimmy said, sinking his teeth in.
Atrono’s purple tail swished. It was obvious that someone in the background from wherever he was, was yelling at him to push for more, but Rick couldn’t hear.
“Tell whoever is talking to you to kindly shut the fuck up. They aren’t helping you. And I like you, Atrono. Take the three percent and I will reward you handsomely for any milestones we reach, okay?” Rick said.
The centaur shooed away whoever had been trying to help him negotiate and looked down dejected. “I’ve always feared this part of the process. The negotiating. It was the only area that I consistently fell short in.”
“Ah, some honesty for once,” Jimmy said.
Atrono shot him a sharp look.
“If you’re going to try to pull one over on someone, you better be damn sure that they don’t know what you’re trying to hide,” Rick added.
The centaur deflated again.
“Relax,” Jimmy said. “Roughly how much do you think three percent would net you in a place like this on a newly integrated planet?”
The centaur looked back at Jimmy, softer this time. “The first couple of months would easily surpass 600,000. The trick would be to keep the momentum. Unfortunately, in its current state, this place is going to be a very hard sell.”
Rick knew Atrono was being honest, but it still stung. “Tell ‘ya what, Atrono. Take the three percent for the first year. If you help turn this place around and make us rich, we’ll bump you up to eight percent. I’ll also throw in performance-based bonuses once in a while.
Stolen novel; please report.
Atrono straightened his back, “This is the opportunity I have been waiting for. I apologize that greed clouded my character before. I’d like to start fresh and accept your offer. However, I’d like to confirm that after the first year, if either party is unsatisfied, we void the contract. Correct?”
“Yep. How exactly are you going to get here?” Rick asked.
Atrono kicked a hoof, “The System will deliver me. Since I accepted the offer, I have five hours to say farewell to my friends and family, as well as gather my supplies.” Atrono appeared to be nervous, and rightfully so. Coming to a new world from some far-off solar system had to be nerve-wracking.
“Alright, I’m not sure what kind of lodgings a centaur needs,” Rick said. The last thing he wanted or needed was a whiny, sleep-deprived centaur.
“Don’t worry about that. My family will provide me with everything I need to set up in the Auxiliary Room,” Atrono said.
“I knew you were a spoiled little brat,” Jimmy guffawed.
Atrono snorted, “Are you always like this?”
“Yes,” Jimmy said with a smile.
“How endearing,” Atrono said sarcastically before flickering out of existence.
“He’s going to be fun to torture,” Jimmy snickered.
Rick laughed, “Go easy on him. He seems like he knows his shit.”
“I’ll try,” Jimmy said.
“I’m going to hire some new minions and put them on Luca’s floor. If you want to watch, head over there. It’ll be a few minutes while I browse, though,” Rick said.
“Hell yeah. I’m not ready to go back outside,” Jimmy said and entered Luca’s floor. “Dude, it is seriously creepy in here. I can’t see shit.”
“Weird. I can see and feel everything in there,” Rick said and pulled up the Dungeon Shop.
He began to search for nocturnal or cave-dwelling creatures. Of course, the list was endless and some of the selections were wonderfully horrifying. There was something called a “Cruzi”. The name was innocent enough, but it was a parasitic bug that would burrow into Challengers. The Challengers wouldn’t even notice, and it wouldn’t kill them while they were in the dungeon. However, if a Challenger left the dungeon with a Cruzi inside of them, the Cruzi would die, but the Challenger would be infected with a terrible disease.
Upon further inspection, the disease wouldn’t be life-threatening either but would leave the Challengers an incurable rash for the rest of their lives. Thinking about stuffing one of these down Gus’ throat made Rick happy, but he wasn’t about to waste one of his free minion selections on these parasites.
One of the problems he encountered while looking for minions that preferred darkness, was that most of them were creatures that lived in the water. If he filled the floor up with water, nobody would want to Challenge it, so those were out. He then filtered the Shop to show him creatures that avoided water.
What came up next were a bunch of humanoid creatures such as cave goblins, dark elves, kobolds, and pretty much any variation of humanoid species with the prefix, “dark”. They all sounded cool to Rick in their own right, but he found that humanoid minions could be a lot of work. They needed more attention than the wolves or even Luca.
He came across a creature simply called, “Snatchers”. They were small, furry monsters. They weren’t exactly humanoid and not quite animals either. They ran around on all fours but had humanoid hands and a human mouth. Everything else about the Snatchers resembled a furry spider. Their torsos were bulbous and covered in black hair. They had two large black eyes in the front of their face. Four smaller ones lined up where their nose should be. The other two oily black eyes were on the sides of their head where the ears should have been.
Everything about them was what Rick was afraid lurked under his bed when he was a child. The human mouth was too wide with a row of serrated teeth. Still, they were only about half the size of Penny.
Level 7 Snatcher - These creatures lurk in the dark, waiting for prey. They have been known to sit still for decades, conserving their energy. When prey presents itself, they move incredibly fast but avoid direct confrontation. Stalkers prefer hit-and-run tactics to whittle down their prey. When an enemy is weak enough, they employ a paralysis ability from their eyes. As a bonus, they are incredibly subservient to Floor Bosses and bring them immobilized prey as a gift.
Rick shuddered. They were perfect little monsters to serve Luca. Jimmy was still waiting in Luca’s area. He hadn’t moved an inch in the darkness so Rick made sure to summon the five Snatchers as close to the door as he could.
Jimmy strained his eyes, looking at the golden glow in the middle of the room, and shuddered. His eyes had adjusted enough to see the ground in front of him, but not much further unless he was staring at one of the dim glowing lights.
Rick chuckled as he watched Jimmy strain his eyes at the five new furry creatures that had materialized in his small field of perception. What neither of them was prepared for was the laughter that the Snatchers made.
Jimmy’s breath caught as he saw the dark furry creatures looking at him with big smiling faces. They made a shrill laughing sound and Jimmy froze. His heart raced despite knowing that they couldn’t harm him here.
“Rick, seriously? What the fuck are these things, man?”
“To be fair, I didn’t know they laughed,” Rick said.
Jimmy remembered that he had legs and backed away until he found his hand on the door handle and bolted back into the Aux Room. “Wow, fuck those things man.”
Rick laughed, “Luca will be happy. If you don’t look too closely, they’re kind of cute.”
“You’re weird, man,” Jimmy said, shaking his head. “I’m going to go check on what kind of nightmare is going on outside now.”
“Great. Try to hold off sending any more Challengers until Atrono gets back. Of course, if Danny and his brother or the Spell & Sword come back, they’re welcome to the Aux Room,” Rick said.
“Aye-Aye Cap’n,” Jimmy said and left.
Luca was already buzzing in the air around the Snatchers. They all looked up at Luca reverently with their black eyes and stood up on their back legs to get a closer look. The laughter continued and realized it was their way of communicating. Like a dog bark or something. He could understand Luca and the humanoid creatures in his domain, but that was because those were actual languages. The Snatchers just used the unsettling sound the same way other beasts did to convey some sort of emotion.
Rick didn’t know how long had passed, but right as Atrono had come back in the flesh, Yosk began to shout, “It’s done! The blueprints are done!” The lizardman danced around.