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Pathetic
18 - Rabbits and Gophers

18 - Rabbits and Gophers

With it having been nearly six months since Rou and Affection found their bond, and pretty much every problem Rou had in his life except the new worries that were placed on his lap by the Gods - he finally felt modestly like… exploring the world again so to speak.

The initial fancy he had upon coming into this world, of being curious, wanting to study and learn, live a fantasy life, it was starting to come back.

Perhaps it was the old gopher blacksmith in a dress basically promising him lifelong free forgework, or finally making up with Celia and feeling like he was free of all remaining small frustrations he had with this life. From morning to night, from waking to sleep, Rou's life was arguably perfect. He had parents that he actually cared about in this life and that cared about him, he had Affection and Millet as dedicated partners, one more so than the other but equally special to him in their own ways.

He had money pouring in continuously thanks to W'elma, whom he hadn't really returned to spending physical time with after she and Ellie had grown a bit closer. Well, not as often anyways. Sometimes the mood still hit when their eyes met and a bit too long was spent thinking rather than speaking.

But professionalism was important.

Even Ellie was relaxing slightly around him, no more interested in him than a fish in a pond, but that frosty exterior she had in regards to him and W'elma had slid away and was treating him less prickly, which he appreciated.

Even the normal folk in the capital noticed as the Fluff Sage seemed a bit freer somehow. No one could put a finger on it and sure, folks speculated, but Fluff Sage wouldn't confirm no matter how many times folks asked.

Instead, they found him wandering through the streets, today wearing a more airy outfit. None of the anti-gravity outfits he had in parts and pieces. No thick boots, or gloves or belts or anything. Just… a simple robe. One his mother made.

Yes, his mother /did/ dress him and he was happy to let her, as she was equally happy to have the option.

Today was a little unusual for him though. He was actually having a small dinner with the King and Queen and their… …prodigious amount of offspring.

The older rabbit pair, once the Kings failings were fixed, it was easy to say they made up for lost time and then some. Even his poor concubines fell to the wayside, not that they couldn't keep up with him but he had near no interest in them and instead focused all of his backed-up interests on the Queen. Of course, even by this point, said Queen was practically glowing with happiness seated as she was besides the King at the end of their table, and to the right of the King, on the nearby side, was the Sage of Fluff's seat. To his side, the King and Queen's eldest daughter, Penelope.

The very one they have several times tried to betroth to Rou unsuccessfully. Sure, the common sense in this world was that those over roughly seventeen were considered not quite adults, but beyond children. It wasn't until twenty three or so that one was at an 'age of departure', or an age where one left their parents' fold and went to live their own lives.

Of course, some left younger and others not at all, but the idea was parents had a lifelong responsibility to their children. It was the parents, after all, who created them. But as far as law and contract went, those under twenty three could not truly be bound even if they were over seventeen and likely by that point had relationships and maybe even children of their own. It was a strange thing for Rou.

Which he first found out all this because of Penelope. The mid to late teens rabbit was staring at him with untoward adoration and idol worship, leaving Rou trying to be polite about everything and not ruin the way she saw him but also trying to be gentle in that he wasn't really … interested in marriage with her.

He came one, for the food as Affection had begged him to, and two for a favor to Penelope's parents. "You seem a little unsure, so I suppose I should say…" the King led off, "When we offered Penelope in marriage, it wasn't meant to be immediate."

Rou looked towards the King and asked, "Then what was it meant to be exactly?"

The Queen answered this time, "Well, she is still very much our child and even if she is nearing seventeen in around a year, it won't be until she reached the age of departure that it would take effect. This is commonplace with all royal marriage arrangements, be they of those in this country, or between others. Even if, say, a four and five year old are betrothed, at best they would remain friends or acquaintances until their respective twenty third birthdays, at which point the marriage would finally go through if both sides agree."

"That's right!"

Penelope chimed in, causing those nearby to look at her in amusement. Her siblings rolled their eyes, having heard her going on at length about how cute and wonderful the Sage of Fluff was, whereas the younger siblings couldn't care less and were just eating hungrily at their salads, pastries and confections. "That means you too, Rou. You are, what, nineteen now? Twenty at best? We have no plans to steal you and use you for ourselves. We just… well, both want to show our appreciation, and also, as you can see, Penelope is equally happy at the prospect as we are."

Said Penelope was smiling happily, not at all shy about acknowledging that.

Affection, of course, was quite amused and was teasing Rou mentally for a while now.

"Very well. We can… revisit this point of marriage when we both are over twenty three. And… perhaps in a year or two, I will set aside some time so we can speak a bit more and perhaps spend time together?" The first part was spoken to the rulers of the land, whereas the latter part… Rou turned to look towards their daughter, who jumped up as soon as he said that, "Yes! I mean, of… of course! That is to say that's perfectly fine and I look forward to…" Normally composed, the rabbit seemed to stutter before her siblings giggling caused her to wilt and she quickly ran off, looking like she might cry.

Rou felt quite bad for her, of course, and as the Queen went to stand up after chiding her offspring that remained, Rou raised his hand a little and asked, "How about I go?"

The Queen thought a moment and nodded before suggesting where she thought her daughter might have run off to in order to fume and decompress.

"Stupid! Stupid! I'll string them up by their tails and… and…!"

Despite having cried a little and now just embarrassed, Penelope was plotting revenge against her siblings when she heard someone approaching. Rubbing at her cheeks and standing up straight from the little sideroom that led to her 'private space in the castle' which was just a balcony that was rarely used by coincidence, she turned and got to Fluff Sage standing there.

The rabbit was quiet, Rou was quiet, Affection was the only one who wasn't quiet but then again she was rarely quiet, and talked at length because she knew both she loved to talk, and Rou enjoyed listening.

"What brings you here, Sage?"

Her voice returned to a proper, political tone though clearly she wanted to let go of that pretense and just hang out with her idol.

"I came to check up on you. It's getting a little cold out, right? Are you going to be warm enough out here alone?" Even when he was wandering around the marketplace in these winter months, Rou usually had on a fluffy blanket over his shoulders to ward off the cold air. One he'd bought on a whim that he quite liked. At the moment, it was in Affection's domain, the fox goddess wrapped up in it like a cat wrapped up in a ribbon.

"Oh, well, it is cold but I like the cold. It's always so stuffy in the castle that it's nice to just breathe fresh air. Thank you for your concern, though. No worries, your future wife isn't going to get sick." Still beyond happy to hear he was going to consider the betrothal in several years time when they both reached the normal age for such.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

Of course, her happiness with that did get Rou to relax slightly. "It's not a promise, it's me agreeing to give things a chance then, not now. I also just wanted your parents to stop asking me every time we spoke, it was getting quite frustrating to the point I almost decided to simply stop coming here to deal with them."

Penelope giggled at this, thinking the King and Queen, her parents, were equally tiring at times.

But as she turned to stare at the city, Rou reached into a nearby aether node and pulled out something, another blanket he had on hand and wrapped it around Penelope. "Stay warm anyways. While I'm not quite sure what you see in me enough that you are happy at the idea of an arranged marriage, regardless, I always appreciate when others think well of me."

The rabbits ears folded down in shyness but she said nothing, and he didn't either, hugging her for a minute or so over top of the blanket before saying, "Feel free to write me whenever you like and I will respond as I get time. Even if we do not get married one day, I will always be happy to have another friend."

"Yes!"

"Why lead her on?"

"I am not leading her on, what makes you think that?"

"Because you have no interest in marriage with her at all, now, or ever. Why even give her the hope?"

Rou sighed as he walked out of the castle and made his way down the long pathway through the gardens that led towards the front gate of the castle. "Because nothing hurts more than not only being rejected by someone you adore, but having it happen in front of your siblings and parents. Besides, there's no harm in being sweet with her. Who knows, by the time of the arranged marriage rolls around, she may be more beautiful than you."

"HACK, no, no one will ever be more beautiful than I. I am the most beautiful of all gods, with the fluffiest tail and best fur and…"

As Rou walked along, he listened with a smile as Affection rattled off all of her 'best' qualities, which was every single quality she had because in her mind, they were all the best.

"Who told you that you could take that dress off? You looked so pretty in it!"

A familiar pair of hands gripped onto the shoulders of the old gopher blacksmith from behind, causing the fellow to jump then start laughing when he realized who it was.

"Well, can't very well get your favorite dress all smudged up and pocked with cinderholes, gotta keep it nice and purdy for you to 'preciate."

Despite the modestly 'flirty' humor between them, neither actually had any interest. Or at least, that's the impression they gave. But the fact the apprentices got to watch Fluff Sage and their old gopher employer wander off into his private office often enough, even they began to wonder if the old gopher was secretly…

One of the apprentices shivered at the idea, not imagining it was possible for such a thing.

Though of course that wasn't happening at all. As playful and chatty as the two were it might give that impression, but they just sort of bounced off each other just well enough that it was like they'd been friends their whole life. His time spent with the gopher, whose name he'd actually never asked, was largely related to Rou trying to give some ideas he had on what might be fun or enjoyable for him as far as swords go and the gopher telling him he was a fucking moron for wanting to make a weapon that looked like that as it wouldn't function or do shit other than look stupid and break.

"If you keep telling me what won't work, I'm going to use you as a lap warmer."

"Hah, don't threaten ME with a good time lad, I ain't never touched a woman in my life, I like my men just fine."

"Oh please, I doubt you've touched anyone at all, you're far too married to your work!"

"Ahahaha…"

The gopher snorted and whistled laughing, not disagreeing.

"But quit coming up with these stupid fucking plans of yours, I ain't gonna make you some whistlesticks that flop around in the air and don't do no good but to scratch your back and stick up that girly ass of yours. If you want swords, come at me with some ideas for actual, real swords! Where do you even come up with this crap anyways! What the hell kind of nonsense… it's like you asked some five year old to come up with this."

Rou's ears folded back at the berating as, honestly… while the gopher wasn't wrong, these were all things he'd been thinking would be fun and cool to have from his past life. Fantasy designs from various settings.

"'bout the only thing in all those shitty ideas of yers that might have any chance of being remotely functional was the, uh… one with the finger holes and knuckle guards. A bit dumb really because it gets stuck on your hands, but if'n thats what you want who'm I to argue sense into your fluffy ass."

Rou perked up a bit, "Wait, really, you think that'd work?"

"Well…" the gopher mused, "It's not like it couldn't. Normal sword handle and length, using the knuckles as a grip at an angle, let you swing the sword with that grip o'yers. You could just learn to use a normal g'damn sword, but you want to go and be fancy, fucking kids these days, no respect for the classics. But what the shit is this tube on the side of it anyways? Like you're wanting to do something stupid with it yeah?"

To answer the question, Rou looked around, "Anywhere in here I can use magic without causing a fire or destroying things?"

"Sure, sure, why don't you just shoot it up right up my ass and of course not ya fuck fluffy twit, get the hell out of my shop and go around to the practice ranges afore you burn my fucking notes to the ground, what in here kind of stupid…" the gopher rambled off, cursing and yelling, leaving Rou to laugh, "Fine, fine, we can go outside. But before that… I meant to ask…"

"What's on yer mind fluffy?" the gopher was curious, walking over next to him and leaning against his own desk as Rou had decided to stand nearby, resting with one hand on top of a pile of smithing-related books.

"You actually like men? I can't quite picture it. That what you got all those younger, more fit apprentices out in the shop for?" Rou postulated with a grin.

"Ahahahaha…" The old gopher snorted laughing, unable to hold back on that nasal whistle. "Nah, was into all that when I was younger, but you were right, ain't touched nothin but my work for thirty years or so now. Look over yonder." he pointed towards a picture on the wall, a coal-drawn piece of what looked like a younger him and another smith. "Was me and my friend. He ran off and got himself wrapped up in some nonsense and decided he'd rather run off and make himself a business elsewhere. Wanted me to come with him, but I liked it here well enough. I wouldn't agree, he wouldn't agree, and here we are."

Rou looked and nodded, feeling the wistfulness in the older fellows voice. "If I ever come across him, want me to give him any message for you? I'm probably gonna start wandering soon, see the world a little if I can."

Looking Rou over, the gopher smith seemed a bit sad. "Ah, shit, you too fluffy? Suppose it was too good to be true to have some cute thing like you wander in here and want to stay around. Nah, nothing needs to be said 'tween he and I, we said our piece years ago before he left and that's good enough with me. Not all memories need to be revisited but thanks anyways for the offer. How soon you think you're going?"

The question had the red panda thinking about it, "Probably not for a while. I actually like it here in the capital. Got my family, that cute maid you saw at my place - she's in my bed quite often - Affection… got it all, really. It's not that I have a reason to leave, I just feel like it'd be a bit of a waste not to look around, right?"

The two stared at each other before the older gopher broke the silence, "Mm, yeah, 'guess so. Well, I doubt anything could pierce that hide of yers boy, hard as it is, but all the same do be careful. Wouldn't want to find out your fluffy ass went and got yourself hurt somewhere. Who else am I gonna put on a dress for?" They both laughed at that, said dress in a protective bag in the corner of the office, hung up so it didn' get wrinkled or anything. Why'd they keep it there? Mutual amusement. They both found it funny as can be.

"Didn't know you cared that much. I'm… actually a little touched. Thank you for worrying about me." Given his position as the Fluff Sage, Rou raised up from where he was leaning and walked over to give the old gopher a kiss on top of the head. Said gopher let out a soft 'bah' sound, "Quit with that girly shit, I ain't one of those giggling biddies around the capital trynna get you ta look at 'em and kiss on them so they can tell their girlies back home about it." But it wasn't hard to see he was actually rather happy to have gotten the token sign of affection. "Your mother made those clothes, right?"

"Yes? How'd you know?"

"Ah, when I was over there the other night I saw she was wearing something similar, just a guess. Tak'em off."

"..."

"..."

Both Rou and Affection were confused, "Take your damn clothes off already!" the gopher barked out annoyed, Rou not quite sure what he was after but obliged, casually undressing and standing there before him. "Why?"

"Because I was gonna give yer fluffy ass a hug and didn't want yer precious mothers clothes getting all sooty and dirty, idjit!" Clearly not caring about his lack of clothes, the gopher walked over and gave Rou a rather genuine hug. "If it wasn't for you, doubt Soil'd have ever looked twice my way, let alone once. Not only did you get me a blessing I hadn't hoped for since I was half as high as you, but… fuck. Now I'm getting all emotional."

Realizing how much his off-hand comment actually meant to the smith, Rou relaxed and leaned down to hug him back. "Well, I'm happy for you. I certainly didn't intend for it, but accidents can sometimes work out, right?"

"Now get 'fore you get all weepy on me."

Rou laughed at that and nodded, looking around a moment at the nearest aether node. "I'll be right, back, one moment."

The old gopher looked at him curiously before Rou pulled a sword out of nowhere, swung it at nothing, then walked into the very same space he sliced and he was gone. "What the whislin' fuck?!" the gopher exclaimed only for Rou to step back out, clean once again, looking a bit damp and once again wearing clothes.

"Cleaned the soot and such off in Affection's domain."

"YA WHAT?!"

It was then that Rou realized he hadn't quite shown that method of coming and going to the gopher before, laughing slightly at his confusion.

By the time Rou went outside to try and show the gopher what the 'tube' on the side of his design was for, the older fellow just didn't want to give up on the coming and going from Affection's domain.

"So you just… fucking up and disappear and go get your ego stroked anytime you want?"

"I mean, not my ego thats getting stroked, but… yes? Anyways, look.."

Rou raised his hand and tossed out a tiny fireball. And by tiny, it was barely bigger than his finger.

"That supposed to impress me boy? I've seen bigger balls on a fish than th'size of that thing you just shot off."