Several sunrises and sunsets passed with Salim and Valja barely leaving their cave. Neither of them managed to come to terms with the idea that they were allowed to live on, while Akuma had long since joined his deceased mother. The remaining lynx only entered his territory to hunt, often staying away longer to search for the intruder they had encountered at the lake. But he never saw him again, only occasionally could he smell the lynxess on the trees at the edge of his territory. She had probably claimed some territory for herself there and Salim didn't really know whether he should like that. But as long as she didn't enter her territory, he didn't want to stop her. He was too worried about the consequences if he did.
Valja and Salim had little of the sunny time, which gradually stretched further across the land, warming the lake and making the meltwater in the river bubble. They couldn't take in the splendor of the blooming flowers, thinking only of how much they wished Akuma was here with them now. They blocked out all the sounds that could distract them from their grief, but saw what reminded them of the deceased. They heard the wind as it carried his voice to them and smelled the scent it brought with it.
The green season came and passed as quickly as it had come and the leaves began to change color, into all different shades. Salim knew it was the first colorful time the two siblings could have witnessed and he was so sure it hurt that Akuma would have loved frolicking among the falling leaves. Sometimes, when the wounds in Salim promised to heal slowly, he tried to lure Valja outside to enjoy the wind and smell the myriad scents. Until her dark and expressionless eyes brought him back to reality. To a present that no longer had anything beautiful about it. And the grief continued to grow until the last dead leaf had fallen to the ground and the very last animal had shed its winter coat. Valja's fur also slowly turned gray and Salim felt the thickness of his pelt increase. When the first snow fell, they both sat together in their den.
Salim looked outside, the cold air of the dead season matting his fur. He gazed after the heavy flakes as they fell from the cloudy sky and gently hit the earth. He could smell the fresh air and hear the crackling of the snow until the ground was covered in a white splendor. White, just like Akuma's fur had been, only the snow was lighter and brought death with it.
With a sigh, the lynx turned away from the view out into the dark woods and trotted back into the cave. It was a good thing that Valja hardly ever left it anymore. He always knew where she was and didn't have to worry about her, but he did anyway. Soon it would be time for her to go in search of her own territory, but she was far from ready and had hardly trained or practiced hunting. Only on a few days had he been able to convince her to continue her life.
"Valja", Salim whispered as he approached her again. Her body, which had grown considerably in the meantime and had almost reached the size of an adult lynx, made itself comfortable in the moss nest. The lynxess had closed her eyes, only her tail twitching back and forth revealed that she was awake and not asleep. But she did not respond to her name.
"Come on, Valja. Look at the snow", he tried again, but when there was no response again, he licked her forehead and lifted her eyelids a little. "Please. Just once." His daughter slowly expelled the air and opened her eyes. This cloudy and dark gold always sent a shiver down his spine. Something had once shone and played in it that he had never been able to describe. Something that he had loved so much about her and that had made her so special that he missed it as much as he missed Akuma.
"Come on", he repeated quietly once more and helped her to her feet. They reached the exit of the cave very slowly. Not that Valja couldn't have done it faster, even though she was very thin and barely eating. No, but her grief slowed everything down inside her. The words she spoke, her movements, reflexes and feelings.
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But then, after countless heartbeats, they were finally sitting together where Salim wanted them to be. Valja leaned against him and the lynx, touching her fur, immediately felt the hopelessness that had spread through his daughter and that he simply could not drive out of her.
He peered over at her and could see her eyes following the flakes. It seemed to be working hard behind her forehead, even though she seemed calm. She had become far too calm, which didn't suit her at all. He had never been able to get used to the fact that she no longer jumped joyfully at him or, when he left the den to hunt, was no longer surprised with a prank when he returned.
But now he could clearly see how the snow was doing something to her, awakening something in her for the first time in a long time that she had buried under doubts and sorrow. It was as if her joy had been buried together with Akuma and was slowly rising to the surface. A slight and barely perceptible smile appeared on Salim's lips.
Suddenly, Valja's head shot towards him and she stood up faster than he had seen her in moons. Her eyes flashed briefly.
"How can you", she hissed, croaking in an unpracticed voice. "How can you be happy about something my brother should have experienced with us." Salim's eyes widened for a brief moment and the smile immediately faded. She didn't even dare to say Akuma's name. As soon as she had said these few words, the lynxess fell back into her old tiredness, rose demonstratively and trotted back to the moss nest with her head bowed.
Salim, on the other hand, stayed put. He gazed after her, could almost read the ambivalence in every breath she took. How she struggled against herself and fought against what the snow had awakened in her. That glow in the gold, even if it had only been for a single heartbeat. How long he had hoped for it, had almost doubted that he would ever be allowed to see it again. But now he knew it was still there, had not disappeared in all this time, in all these unspeakably long moons. It just needed to be awakened, its temperament challenged.
Involuntarily, new courage flowed through Salim, settling in his veins and bones. Valja could do it, he knew that. She could break out of her prison of sorrow and enjoy life again. She had kept enough grief inside her for long enough and now she finally had to go out into freedom again. And if she didn't manage to break out of her cage all by herself and without help, he would have to help her. He would destroy the sticks and bite them until she could jump out. Until her laughter filled the air again.
Even though he knew that stone cages could not be bitten. Not from the inside, anyway, as he had learned after his not particularly pleasant stay in the nest of the bald skins. But with the help of outsiders, she could be freed. All that was needed was a key that would save her.
And perhaps the onset of the snow was the beginning, perhaps it had set the ball rolling that was needed to make the last and largest one crash against the bars.
Salim looked up at the sky and could almost feel the presence of Akuma and his mother looking down at them both through the cloud cover. None of her family had wanted her to withdraw so much that not even the changing of the different times could fulfill her anymore. Neither Akuma nor her mother wanted her to sit here in her cave and grieve, and Salim knew that for a fact.
She had lost all of her biological family and he could understand so well how much it affected her. But he knew that she would die at some point, out of grief for those who would no longer benefit from this feeling.