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Pass The Salt
You watch the dumbest shows

You watch the dumbest shows

“Babe, you forgot to put your clothes in the dryer again,” I said, sitting on the couch.

“Oh, I’m sorry, honey. I’ll remember next time.” Devin said, changing the channel from a cooking show to an action movie.

“It would be easier to remember if you put it on your phone.” I said, “Or have your new paralegal do it. You love working long hours with her, anyway. Might as well get her to organize your schedule, too.”

“Babe, I told you there is nothing between me and Sam. You know the nature of my work. It’s so hard to find a good paralegal that’s willing to work long hours. Don’t worry, this will be the last time I forget. It’s going on the calendar right now,” Devin said as he typed something into his phone.

For a moment, we sat there in silence and watched the movie. A giant pirate ship sailed through the emptiness of space. The gorilla captain screeched at his crew. The monkeys dressed as pirates ran around the ship, frantically readying themselves for battle as another pirate ship was sailing in their direction. “Babe, it’s bothering me how much TV you watch. Maybe you can cut back, so you have time for other things.”

“What are you talking about, Kelly? I make enough time for everything.”

“Really? That’s so strange because it seems you didn’t make enough time to wish me a happy birthday today.”

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Sitting up in his recliner chair, “Oh honey, I’m sorry. Work has just been so crazy lately. Me and my paralegal have been putting in long hours for this recent case. So, when I came home early today, I saw my new favorite show was on, and I completely forgot,” Devin said.

“Oh, that’s right. You thought about the new episode of Ghost Rabbit Hunters all day and your girlfriend’s 35th birthday completely slipped your mind.”

“Come on, you know it’s not like that.” putting the recliner back to its original position, he continued, “Listen babe, this movie is about to get really good, and I have work in the morning, but we will definitely have a date night tomorrow. “

“Of course, dear. I mean, we’re getting to the climax of Space Pirate Monkeys. Who knows what will happen? Maybe the space gorillas will try to steal the treasure from the orangutans.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. There was another moment of silence between us. The screams of monkeys filled the room as they fired their laser guns and space pirate ships exploded when they were hit by missiles. “Honey, you know that work has been stressing me out lately, so you have to understand I am going to forget things sometimes…”

“That would be nice if it was only sometimes and not every single birthday for the last 6 years. Or the last 6 anniversaries. Let's not forget to mention they're on the same day! I would love, if you forget sometimes instead of giving me all my Christmas presents in March. Or all the Cinco de Mayos I’ve had to celebrate alone.”

With an eyebrow raised, “Kelly, we’ve never celebrated Cinco de Mayo.” Devin said.

“Well, it would be nice to celebrate it one of these years.” Getting up from the couch, I stormed to the front door. “I’m leaving to get tacos. I hope you don't forget about getting dinner tomorrow while you're watching your space monkeys!” I yelled as I left the apartment.