Nick was getting restless after Ray and Marcel left for work. He busied himself with the little garden he had been tendering to but the thought of Ivy not home yet bothered him the entire morning.
By the time it was lunch, he was pacing in front of the hillside looking out for Ivy’s car but still no sign. He skipped lunch and continue to distract himself in the glass house with gardening till late evening. Restlessness began to build up in him. He recognised these negative signs but it was adding more to his anxiety.
He sat by the stairs feeling hopeless. He tried to convince himself that Ivy would be alright but his inner demons were convincing him the contrary.
It’s your fault she isn’t home yet. It’s your fault she is suffering.
You should have stopped Nancy from being reckless.
Ivy must have given up her life because losing Jason was unbearable.
It’s all your fault. You could have done better. You could have just died in place of Jason!
He doesn’t deserve this death!
Nick was fighting hard against himself as he was grabbing onto his hair in frustration without realising Ivy had walked towards him from behind. Ivy’s smile vanished the moment she saw him in that state as she hasten her steps and embrace him from behind.
“Hey… I’m home. Are you alright?” Ivy gently said as Nick abruptly turned around and met her delicate gaze. Ivy could tell he was very frustrated as she tried to hide her worries about him by putting on a smile only to be hugged tightly in return as he cried.
“You’re safe! You’re home!” Nick cried as Ivy sighed quietly and nodded while gently rubbing his back.
Was it always this tough on you? Life is so unfair.
She thought as she blinked her tears away.
“Yes, I am. Sorry for being late. You must have been very worried. Have you eaten? Did you have lunch?” She couldn’t get him to answer at all as she began to worry he didn’t. “Let’s wash up a bit and head over for noodles at Auntie Soh’s shop. Or would you like something lighter?” Ivy coaxed as Nick calmed down and kept quiet.
“Let’s have something lighter inside. I will cook alright?” She decided looking at his hesitant self as Nick finally nodded and let her lead him inside the house before rummaging over the refrigerator for what was left to cook for some plain noodles.
She smiled reminding herself of the times she was caught having unnutritious meals or being interrupted during sumptuous meals in this kitchen after a tired day in college which she couldn’t have in peace. Nick noticed her amused self from where he sat at the dining table while he watched her work her way through preparing dinner.
She’s fine. She’s back and she’s happy. I should strive to be happy too. As long as she is happy, I can live with that by her side.
Nick convinced himself as he felt his inner demons quieten down. He even managed to smile when Ivy served him and accompanied him for dinner.
He realised it’s been a long while since he ever had such a peaceful and quiet meal without anything to worry about as he took the first bite of Ivy’s simple but delicious plain noodles. It was comforting to have something homecooked after so long.
He realised he had been busy keeping Nancy in check back then that he often neglected himself. A part of him envied Jason for such blessing of having Ivy as a companion but he was glad he was the one now, determined to protect his gem for as long as he lives.
That night Ivy had difficulty falling asleep as she kept tossing in bed. She was thinking about the meeting with Daisy and the promises she made about Jeremy to her and most importantly, searching for her grandchildren. She wondered if she could really keep those promises.
Am I really that capable like what everyone thinks?
Ivy pondered as her mind wander to the fact that she had another mother now.
Oh yes. Oh, Jason if only you were here you would be so glad to know Daisy has made me her stepdaughter. I wondered if she meant for me to be a daughter-in-law or if was she hoping for a daughter of her own now since she only had sons all this while.
She smiled at the thought as she wondered how her own biological mother was doing all these years.
Mama. Hmm… perhaps it’s time to visit her soon. Wonder if this fella would be alright to leave for Landsfield tomorrow?
She tried to keep her tossing lighter to not wake Nick who was sleeping soundly by her side. She lay by her side and watched his silhouette quietly.
I wish I could sleep so soundly like you. It’s been so hard ever since…
Ivy sighed as she had lost count of when it was. A gush of cold wind blows in from the open window making her shiver a little. She got up with the support of one arm in bed and saw the occasional lightning shining outside. It was going to rain soon as she got up to close the window and switched on the fan at a low speed.
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That’s when she heard Nick whimpering. She quickly went back to bed to check on him and realised he was fidgeting from having nightmares.
Luckily I wasn’t asleep yet. She thought as she held onto his hand to comfort him.
She recalled his frustrated self earlier. It worried her to leave him alone ever again. The wind began to howl outside as it thundered. She wondered if this was the reason that kept his nightmares taunting him.
She was jolted by his sudden grip on her arm as he sat up with heavy breathing, almost on the verge of breaking down. She quickly hugged him and rubbed his back as she whispered words of comfort.
"It's alright. It's alright. It's only a dream. I'm here…" Ivy calmed him repeatedly while rubbing his back till his heavy breathing slowed down.
Ivy then, lay him resting against the headboard. He noticed how red Ivy’s eyes were. At first, he thought she cried but then realised she hasn’t slept when she kept yawning.
“You were worried you would wake me with your nightmares?” He asked with concern as he reached out to touch her eyebags as she sighed shakily.
“I’m sorry…” He pulled her into his arms as she welcomed his broad chest and rested momentarily on it, trying to recall how it felt like resting on Jason’s.
“It wasn’t because of that.” She lied as she sat up. He knew she was but he smiled sadly scooping her face into his palms.
"It really wasn't. I just keep recalling Daisy. You know, she made me into her stepdaughter today…" Ivy explained to change the topic as Nick smiled.
“She must have wanted to a long time ago. It’s destined. She really is a great mother figure." His gaze met hers as she smiled wearily while taking glances at the window where the lightning was shining before it thundered.
"Blame the rain… my nightmares often happen then. Shall we sleep with the lights on instead?” He asked as she smiled, shaking her head. “Just the night lamp,” She said as she brightened it a little.
He then held onto her hand. “It must be so tough on you. What do you always dream of? Another world like me?” She began as she recalled again on his condition earlier which they had kept away from Ray and Marcel who got back late from work. There wasn’t any point to worry them unnecessarily. Besides, Ivy and Nick had each other now.
Nick shook his head. “The accident scene…” Ivy blinked back her suddenly growing tears as he gently caressed her hand to comfort her.
“It’s usually just the inner demons you know… If I could keep them down, I would be fine.” He explained as Ivy smiled sympathetically.
“I have been thinking… Shall we head to Landsfield already? Perhaps tomorrow?” Ivy asked as Nick smiled and nodded.
“Sure. I guess you have done all you needed here?” He asked as Ivy nodded.
“I sure did and we should get you to Phyllis just once. Perhaps, she could help with your nightmares? Besides, I promise Daisy to fight Jeremy and help her search for her grandchildren. Alongside, I had to bring Jeremy to justice except I had to also promise I would spare his life and not do harm to innocent other than just, bringing him to justice…” Nick gently patted her hand.
“I believe in you. So, you must believe you can do so too. I will keep my promise too about Phyllis.” Nick comforted as Ivy met his gaze as she smiled putting a thumb up.
“Do you think I really can do what I promised Daisy?” She asked again after doubting it for a while.
They stared at each other for a moment before Nick decided to pull her in for a brief kiss nonchalantly.
It definitely shocked Ivy for a moment but when the brief kiss broke, they both knew it wasn’t meant to be.
“I’m sorry. I just… I know I promised you. I just got carried away. It shouldn’t happen. It doesn’t feel right. I am really sorry…” Nick apologised frantically as Ivy pulled him for a hug.
“The next time we ever need comfort or convincing, a hug is as far as it goes as what you just did just doesn’t feel right at all, I agree. No, no…” Ivy shook her head as she chuckled when she faced him which eased Nick’s anxiety a little.
“Alright, I will remember that.” He chuckled along with her.
“Goodnight. Sleep well for I will be here.” Ivy mumbled as she was slowly drifting asleep while he was wide awake.
"Goodnight…” He whispered as he watched over her asleep instead till the rain slowed down to just drizzles.
I’m sorry. I thought I could help us to get over things if we both got together. I guess I was wrong. It’s not the right feeling at all. I’m sorry, little gem.
As though knowing Nick hasn’t fallen asleep, Ivy searched for his hand in the dark and held his left hand to her heart as she continued to sleep. Nick smiled as he combed her hair to the back which was covering her face. With the secure feeling of having Ivy accompanying him by his side, he gradually fell asleep.
The next morning, Ivy was woken up by a phone call from Ryu which annoyed her.
“Hello?” She mumbled as she put him on loudspeaker.
"Sis! I have a fans greeting session tomorrow! Could you please come? Pleaseeeeeeee! They are dying to see you and it’s the weekend!" Ivy who was still half asleep rolled her eyes as she put her phone back on the dressing table and hide inside the blanket.
The room door barged open instead with Ray entering and pausing when he heard the loudspeaker.
"Hello? Sis? Are you there? If you don't reply I will take it as a yes!" Ryu announced as he hang up without waiting for a response.
That's when Ivy recalled the events last night; Nick was on the verge of breaking down, the tossing, the rain, the nightmare, the comfort words then the kiss...
The kiss was never meant to be. She quickly come out from the blanket and saw an empty space by her side as she sighed in relief.
"Looks like you have to push back your plans from leaving so soon. Heard from Nick you both wanted to go today to Landsfield but little bro wants us to be in the fans' event tomorrow…" Ray explained as he walked over to the bed and hugged Ivy who sat up and was still half asleep in his arms.
Ahhh… Safe haven. Ivy thought to herself as she closed her eyes and hugged Ray tightly.
"Ivy? Are you listening?" He shook her as Ivy grunted.
"Must I go? I am a hermit crab. A camera shy girl…" Ivy said with her eyes closed as Ray chuckled.
"For a start, you could get dressed for breakfast first. We shall talk further on the preparations." Ray urged but Ivy still didn't barge which made him carry her to the washroom while she squealed in rebel.
Ivy had no choice but to obediently prepare herself for breakfast as she was put to sit on top of the covered toilet bowl. Unsure of how to face Nick yet but she was assured they both felt it wasn’t right last night. While showering, she half looked forward to seeing Ryu’s fans as she smiled looking out at the bright sun rays shining in at her from the window while recalling the sweet couple; Melody and Ryu.