Ivy sat in the basement of Cassandra’s boutique alone. Cassandra was busy upstairs with her orders. Ivy was waiting for Jin to return from school in fact. Knowing it was Wednesday, Ryu would definitely be sticking with Melody for their study group. A part of Ivy envy them as it was not just Wednesday but daily that the lovebirds had been hanging out together without fail ever since the weekend’s incident.

At the back of her mind, Ivy then thought of Nick. She reminded herself again that there was an appointment for him scheduled for tomorrow. She must remember to accompany him as she was afraid of being distracted by the family’s business.

Her mind was full of questions for Jin on the company’s condition at the moment. Her worries and doubts were getting overwhelming that she did not realise Jin had slipped into the basement standing behind her. It was the first time Jin ever saw her alone and he was not sure where to start again with his sister who seem to be a little estranged now. With a deep breath, he walked quietly toward her and gently laid his hand on her shoulder.

“Good to see you here…” He greeted softly trying not to let her hear the crack in his voice but she already did. She smiled a sad one as she stood to give him a comforting hug.

“Welcome home… Studying must have been tiring. Seeing you’re so late, you had extra classes didn’t you?” Ivy asked nonchalantly trying to act like she did not hear his vulnerable self earlier. She knew by having extra classes meant the results from exams were not favorable. Studying Jin’s guilty face, she quickly comforted him by tapping on his shoulder.

“It’s a secret between us for sure.” She assured him as he nodded with a sorry look.

“I can tutor you if you want.” Ivy offered as Jin was a little unsure about it thinking she should be busy signing up with her second year of college.

“Wouldn’t you be busy with the second year?” Jin questioned as Ivy smiled and sat back on the table.

“Dad told you didn’t he?” Ivy asked as Jin nodded and took a seat by her side. “Keep this a secret between us. I don’t intend to sign up. I just wanted to push for Ray. I felt bad that he had to put the first year of college on hold and now I feel bad for distracting your studies.” Ivy explained as Jin immediately knew it was because of the family’s business and Jeremy.

“I’m sure you know why. I wanted to hear from you about the condition in the business and of Jeremy but looking at your response of not encouraging me further to sign up explains a lot of how dire it is. I believe from before the cashflow issues are getting worse perhaps?” Ivy questioned as Jin nodded. Ivy could tell her smart brother was hiding a lot from her and trying to bear all the burden himself which made her even more guilty.

“Is there any way for you to figure out what dad is secretly dealing with Jeremy or what and when exactly is Jeremy making his ultimate move?” Ivy asked as Jin adjusted his glasses.

“I wish I knew all this but Dad is very secretively about it. I wish I could read the future to tell you of Jeremy...” Jin replied with a hinge of disappointment as Ivy was not expecting a definite answer from him but merely venting to him.

“I didn’t expect an answer, Jin. I just…” Ivy sighed as she looked away.

“... am tired of everything. There are days when I wish things were back to how they used to be. Jason always knew what to do. Nick would have someone to care for. I would learn the basic ropes of love to move on. Dad will still be proud of his striving business. All of you would still be well juggling with both work and studies…” Ivy whined gently with Jin as she spoke her thoughts for the first time after a long while when Jin held her hand.

“Ivy, we are all here to back you up. From what I can see, Jeremy is definitely aiming at you but when… I am still monitoring this closely. When he does, we will do all we can to guard you.” Jin made a promise but it only made Ivy sadder knowing his studies has been affected.

“Since when you’re so grown up? Studies come first. Promise me. Come to me with problems. I will help you out.” Ivy made him promise as he nodded. They both smiled knowing each of them was ready to jump in to help out regardless of their commitments and they also know they were going to stop the other to neglect their commitments. Hence, there was no reason to continue the topic and let nature takes it flow.

“Was it all good meeting Aunty again?” Jin asked as Ivy then recalled she was drowning in her worries about the business that she nearly forgot she had just met her mother a few days back that she was trying not to remember cause she would only be blaming herself.

Ivy nodded but kept quiet. Jin knew she was the same as him to be nicknamed as twins. Whenever they were quiet, it meant there was more to it.

“Keep visiting her. She would love the company and perhaps it would help her recover. That way, she could return to us.” Jin encouraged as Ivy smiled sadly. “Do you miss Auntie Lenny too? If my mother comes home, would it be…” Jin held her hand again as she kept quiet, observing his uncertain look.

“I do miss my mum, especially at moments like this but I grew to deal with it myself. We all do. That’s what boys should do… Don’t blame yourself. It was never your fault. It’s out of your control, to begin with, and no one is to be blamed. If she returns, we all will definitely be grateful for a mother figure and will be happy, especially for you.” Ivy unexpectedly tear up in front of Jin who stood and held her as she sobbed in his arms.

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They both had a tacit understanding that they just needed time to digest and sometimes silently comforting each other was enough for that moment.

The next day, Ivy accompanied Nick to visit Phyllis. It was her first time noticing the brightly lit place being very conducive for recovery. The simple floral designs on the wallpaper of gold hue were comforting, almost reminding her of the palace in her paracosm.

At the entrance, Nick tightened his grip on Ivy’s hand as their gaze met. She smiled and nodded for him to knock on the door. Phyllis opened the door and warmly welcomed them. Ivy immediately noticed the vase of red peonies. Nick was led by Ivy to the couch as he recalled the times he bought countless bouquets for Nancy back then. Peonies were definitely the most common ones.

As he sat beside Ivy, Nick was very unsettled. Phyllis brought the vase over and placed it in front of him after noticing he was paying attention to it the whole time.

“Good to finally see you again Nick and this time, for yourself. You seem to be very fond of them. I’m sure you know what they meant?” Phyllis questioned as she pointed at the peonies.

Nick nodded, staring at them meaningfully. “It meant passion...”

“How did you know?” Ivy asked gently.

“I used to learn about them to buy bouquets to cheer up Nancy.” Nick’s gaze met with Ivy’s as she gave him a comforting smile.

“It meant love too,” Phyllis added to test Nick.

“Yes, it meant love too.” Nick stared at the peonies and let his welling tears fall recalling the times he used to comfort Nancy with her jealousy and also depression. Somehow, he felt a heavy burden being lifted up from his shoulder as he sobbed.

Phyllis reached out to him with some tissues. “Let it go. It’s a good start.” Phyllis comforted as Nick took the tissues.

“Would you like to use the hypnotise method we did before during my first time here? Would it help him?” Ivy questioned Phyllis as she took a few moments to assess.

“That would depend on whether he wants to. It’s usually to help you face your fears and to recall things you missed out…” Phyllis explained as Nick looked at Ivy who nodded in encouragement.

Nick held on to Ivy’s hand tighter. “Can she stay by my side for the session?” He asked as Phyllis nodded.

“Then, I will do it.” Nick agreed as Phyllis nodded and went on to prepare for the session.

Nick was not at ease at first as he was fearing to revisit the scene again which replays in his dream countless times but he knew it was the only way he would ever move on.

Ivy was by his side all the way holding onto his hand and soothing him when the therapy got too harsh on him as he jolted awake and cried in Ivy’s arms. Phyllis left them both to console each other thereafter.

“Here, drink some water first.” Ivy passed him the glass as he sipped bit by bit while she wiped his wet face. He helped her wipe her tears away too not knowing that she had learned something from the events he recalled.

“Don’t cry. I’m sorry for making you cry.” Nick apologised as Ivy shook her head and tried to put on a smile only to cry with him even more.

“How could I not when I just learned about his attempt of kissing me ended up becoming the last ever moments I had with him?” Ivy explained as she broke down in front of him.

“How could I not when you saw the entire scene of how he protected me and how the one and only person you love just crash my dream and also your hope…” Ivy choked as Nick hugged her while they cried.

“I’m sorry… We shouldn’t do this session again.” Nick decided as Ivy shook her head.

“It brings closure to you doesn’t it?” Her question came a little too early as it left them both speechless for a moment.

“Let’s go somewhere?” She suggested as she knew the last place they both want to be was her house where it would only worry everyone. He nodded in agreement.

Ivy calmly drove to the peak of the hill late that night. She just had one reason. She wanted to be closer to Jason. Even her paracosm was not letting her some peace lately. She longed to tell him about finally meeting her biological mother and that she was one step closer to coming to terms of his death.

She parked and walked with Nick to the fences. Nick stood calmly as he closed his eyes to enjoy the soft breeze.

She stood by the fence overlooking a cliff where she reimagine the scene of her first waltz lesson. She smiled letting the breeze soothe her sadness. She closed her eyes recalling Jason and her waltzing on the clouds in her paracosm. It ached her heart so much but she knew she needed to be strong as she caressed her bracelet.

I miss you. I miss your old self. I have so much to say to you. If this paracosm I built as a defense was a pretense, then how have you been doing? I want so bad to hold on to you. It is getting tougher to hold on, Jason. I'm worried I might lose it.

I am trying to let you go too. I am contemplating so much about Nick and I know he is too but we both just cannot move on. Yet.

I love you very much, Jason. I wish I told you so all the time when you were here. I know I have to let go… I know… Ivy took a deep breath as she kept her eyes close with pooling tears in them.

I..I just really hope you were here now…

A strong breeze blew by as she folded her arms to hold her head trying to wipe away her tears secretly as she sobbed silently. Nick covered her with his jacket and held her.

“You’re right. The session did help me feel at ease with some closure. At least it didn’t hurt as much as it did before.” Nick explained as Ivy opened her eyes to see him when all her tears fell down her cheeks.

Nick wiped them all away as he smiled. “It must be tough on you to learn what exactly happened… That’s why I didn’t want to continue it.” Nick explained as she sniffed.

“I need closure too. I’m glad I did a little today but it’s still a long way…” She sighed as he patted her head.

“I met my mother yesterday. My biological mother. She made me realise that I should appreciate what’s left of time with her instead of blaming myself for her past and condition. She made me come to terms bit by bit with Jason leaving for good. If I were to have a second chance, I would take whatever it is to make a difference back then…” Ivy explained as Nick smiled sadly at her and nodded.

They both stood in silence as they enjoyed the breeze. Nick held tightly onto the fence in front of him. For a moment, he felt as though Jason and Nancy were standing next to them.

He was glad that bit by bit, they both were letting go; though slow but at least they were making progress.