Chapter 29: Reflections

Finn was lying on the ground, bleeding profusely. Hazel reached out, holding him, getting his blood all over her arms. She pushed her hair out of the way and it left dark red streaks in it. The blood began to slowly drip off her hair onto her arms.

The blood was so much colder when it dripped onto her skin than when it originally came out of Finn. It was as if his own blood was uncomfortable in the elements.

That was the thought she had as she watched her brother bleed to death. Not the fear of having him die, to not be able ever to have him around again. But how strangely cold his blood was on her skin. And the water in the bath was much the same as it dripped from her hair. She shivered, but not from the cold.

She closed her eyes and took in a large breath. She took in a deep breath, she was in a house, not outside, not holding her dying brother.

He didn’t die!

She took another breath and tried her best to keep her nerves calm. No matter what she did, that scene played over and over again in her head. She couldn’t do this any longer. She got out of the bath, got dressed, and went to the hallway.

The back right door of the hallway was closed shut. She saw the clutter in La'Quets's and Gronan's rooms so knew that this one was not theirs. She knew who had to be inside there. She went to the door and put her hand on the cold doorknob.

The doorknob was golden and she wondered how Hedge could have possibly found gold in this world. Did he mine it? She would not be surprised if he had. He was someone who put a lot of effort into his craft.

If we were back on Gandria, it would cost a small fortune just for that doorknob.

Yet, she could probably afford such a luxury now. A luxury that, only months ago, she would have sold in exchange for food for the rest of her life. That single doorknob would have gone so far for them. And yet, now she simply held it in her hand as if it were nothing more than decoration. She had finally achieved a bit of the old status her and her family once had.

But her newfound wealth all came at a price. Whenever did it not? She had wanted the Adventurer’s life, but now, after watching her brother bleed out in front of her? She did not know. She loved the excitement of it all, and the money that came with it. But the after effects, she could live without. Of course, life before had not been any better.

She could feel the gold coins pressing against her inside her pocket. It would be so easy to quit now, just pack up and head home. But she did not want to. And even if she truly did, she would never be able to go back to Vlatin again without those horrific memories making their way into her mind.

But what was the cost of this new life?

She took another deep breath. She was stalling and she knew it. She took her hand off the doorknob, thinking better than to simply barge in. She closed her eyes and felt the weight of her hand as she knocked on the wooden door.

Finn’s voice came from the other side, “What do you want, Hazel?”

She did not have to bother asking him how he knew she was the one knocking. They both had keen ears and knew each other's footsteps well. As much as the comment at dinner La’Quet said about Finn and her being thieves grieved her, it was nothing but true. “Can I come in?”

Silence.

Perhaps I should leave, give him some time away from everyone.

The bathroom door creaked open and Hazel flicked her eyes over to see Gronan stepping out. They locked eyes for a moment before she broke away, looking back to Finn’s door.

“Hey?” Gronan asked in a whisper.

She looked back toward him.

He seemed to contemplate what to say next. Instead of speaking to her, he gave her a slight nod. He went inside his room and closed the door.

She could not leave Finn alone, she knew how he was. She knocked on the door again, “Hello?”

A sigh came from the other side, “Come in.”

She went inside. Finn was sitting on his bed, staring down at the floor as the candle floating in the air flickered across the walls. She knew she had to talk to him, but what about? “You caused quite a scene today.”

He grunted.

“May I ask why?”

“We can’t trust him,” He huffed.

“He saved your life.”

“The bird-”

“Not just the bird, he saved you from Fendrin, too. If he had not charged after him, if he hadn’t attacked the ogre...” She couldn't will herself to continue.

“I would’ve been fine.”

She felt her blood pressure rise. “You would’ve lost a lot more blood at best, you would’ve died at worst. Don’t you understand that?”

“But I didn’t.”

“Why do you have to be such an axhel?”

He didn’t reply.

She tried to calm herself but she couldn't any longer. “La’Quet has done nothing but protect you and the rest of the group, yet you deflect him away. He’s trying his best. He’s not perfect but neither are you.”

“He lied about the boxes or whatever in Gahen. How can you trust someone who lies about seeing things?”

“Can you not tell he’s scared? How would you react if you had been thrust into a new world, into a new body, and had to survive?”

“I would’ve told people the truth.”

“Would you?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “I’m trying to protect the group, I’m trying to protect you from him. He’s dangerous.”

“Look at yourself, we’re all dangerous.”

“Why do you not want me to protect you?”

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“Getting yourself killed is not protection!”

He looked into her eyes then. She hadn't meant to yell, she was not taught to yell.

She saw his nose twitch and a small wrinkle formed at that same instant in his eyebrow. Great, she had made him mad.

“Good night,” She said resignedly and went to the exit.

“Good night,” His voice was husky.

She held onto the doorknob, “Throwing yourself in danger does not benefit anyone. We need you alive, I need you alive.”

The door closed softly behind her.

Quickly, she made her way to bed. She could hear Gronan’s heavy, sleeping breaths in the hallway but didn’t hear a thing from La’Quet’s room. He must’ve still been in the bath. For the few seconds she was in the hallway, she thought about knocking on his bathroom door to check in on him. But then she was in her room, the door closed behind her. She’d talk to him in the morning.

#

Finn willed the tear to not form in his eye as memories hit him harder than any arrow could. But that was ancient history now, no way he could change it.

How could Hazel say those things to me? The audacity.

He let out a heavy sigh and flopped his back onto the bed.

But she’s right. She’s always right.

He could hear his heart, the heavy thumps it made in its rhythmic pattern. He always wondered how it would be to no longer hear it. If no one talked, if not a single thing moved, would there be silence? True silence.

I never want to find out.

But then why did he throw himself in danger? Did he hate himself that much? Hate. He hated so many things. He hated being an Adventurer. Yet, he stayed for his sister. He had to, this was all his fault, and he couldn’t simply abandon her. What if she died because he had done that? What would he do without her?

He pulled himself back to a sitting position. Why is she always right?

Angry at himself for what he was about to do, he forced himself to his feet.

#

I didn’t know how long I was in the bath but I was pretty sure I was the last one still bathing.

Who am I? Am I La'Quet? Why was I on a ship?

The questions continually circled through my mind. I didn’t know if I’d ever get the answers. It was frustrating. I was two people, one was from Earth, the me that could think. I could see glimpses of my memories and had certain skills from that life. Yet, this wasn’t my body, I was damn sure of that.

Does that mean I stole this body?

It didn't feel that way but how would I ever truly know? I doubted the person I took this body from had any way of telling me.

The person. La’Quet, his name was La’Quet!

I felt a small buzz light up my body, heat pouring out of my chest. I looked over at the staff laying against the wall and saw it glow a dull blue.

Did he have those powers? No, I don’t think he did.

I focused my eyes on the staff, pushing my feelings onto it. It began to glow slightly brighter. It felt good, really good. I pushed further, letting my confusion and anger funnel into the staff. My head began to buzz. The staff was buzzing too, reacting to me. I could feel the energy within, wanting to burst outward and destroy.

I felt a twinge in my head and I recoiled my emotions back inside. The pain dimmed but I now had a small headache. But I felt better, my muscles more relaxed and even with the new headache, my head felt clear.

I dunked myself into the cleansing wash bath, letting the warm water surround me and the sound of water enclosed my ears. I focused on the energy within me and once again found it, letting the buzzing set in. This time, I didn’t harness it. I simply felt it. And it felt powerful. So, incredibly powerful. Like I was touching the metal casing of a bomb. A bomb I didn't quite understand.

I pushed myself out of the water. I had been in here too long, I needed to go to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day and much longer if I didn’t sleep. I stepped out of the bath, dried off, and got dressed though I still felt a bit naked without my robe.

When I walked out of the bathroom into the hallway, I saw Finn leaning against my door, his arms crossed. We stood there, looking at each other in silence. I felt the energy within me tingle on the nape of my neck. What was he thinking, did he mean harm? He seemed relaxed enough but his face was pensive, yet, that was always how he looked.

Finn sighed and his face loosened just a bit, “Look, I know you are just trying your best to be a part of our team and help out.”

He stopped talking, as if he was waiting for me to respond but I couldn’t find the words to say.

“Uh, so,” He pushed off the door and rubbed his neck. “You’re a good team member. And I don’t mind having you on, you seem...” He trailed off.

I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Did Hazel put you up to this?”

He let out a small chuckle, “No, no one put me up to this. Just, look,” He put out his hand. “Sorry, okay?”

I couldn’t help but give him a small smile, “You’re terrible at apologies, you know that?”

His face became pensive once again. “Are you gonna take it or not?”

“That’s more like it,” I reached out and took his hand, giving it a hard shake. For his string bean arms, he was pretty strong. Even so, I nearly crushed his hand in mine.

He winced through the pain but pulled me close. At that moment, as my body fell into him, I thought I was going to feel the stabbing pain in my stomach of a dagger. But all that came was his whispered voice. “Just remember to keep this little bit of information in your brain at all times. If you ever, and I mean ever, mess with my sister...I will kill you.”

I heard an audible click in my throat as I swallowed. I might’ve been stronger but I never would kid myself to think I'd ever be able to avoid one of his deadly strikes. “Y- Yeah, sure.”

He leaned away from me, pulled his hand from mine, and patted me on the shoulder. He gave me what I thought was a genuine smile, “Good, see you tomorrow morning.” And with that, he turned and went to his room without another word.

He sure knows how to make himself seem menacing.

I went into my room and put my staff against the wall, pulling my clothes off and onto the floor, leaving just my tidy whities on - a clothing option I felt certain I'd never wear on Earth. Now that I was alone, I was going to sleep comfortably.

I climbed in bed and the lights turned off. Before I even realized my eyes were closed, I drifted off to sleep.

#

Fendrin was back in the darkness of consciousness. He could feel the massive entity moving past him, uncaring that he was there. If it knew at all.

Something was different this time. He could feel the consciousness inside the entity, he could feel a small consciousness that had been the rabbit, he could even feel his own consciousness close by. But then there was another one, it was somewhere enclosed. Locked away somewhere unreachable.

Then the cracks formed in the darkness. Light poured out from them, causing the darkness to glow and refract. The darkness was water, he could feel it now. The light shimmered, trying desperately to reach him.

He could feel something in that light, another consciousness. It was looking out at him, it was sensing him. He knew exactly who it was. The man that had come after him. He hadn’t heard his name before but he knew it at that moment, La’Quet. But that wasn’t quite true, peering into the light he could see two people in that one consciousness but he couldn’t find the other name.

Two people in one. Two energies radiating out. Searching.

His eyes opened up and he was back in the forest. The fury, black rabbit huddled closely next to him. It was a cool night and the winds were picking up. He wished he had had more time to prepare for his escape. If he had at least gotten a tent then his trip would have been easier.

He got up and stretched. The rabbit was still asleep, its little breaths rising and falling slowly. He kicked it and it sprung up. “Come on,” He told the rabbit.

He began walking and the rabbit followed obediently.

“Do you know how two consciousnesses could be in one mind?” He asked the rabbit. He looked down to see the little furry thing shake its head slowly.

It seemed neither he nor whatever being he had put into the rabbit knew. Fascinating.

Perhaps there was something there, two beings becoming one. Taking a consciousness and putting it into a different body was one thing, but having two in the same one was something different entirely. If he could do that and harness the magic flowing through both him and the other person...the possibilities felt quite powerful. But who would he choose to ever do that with?

The entity crossed his mind. But he knew it would be too much, its sheer size would destroy even a sophisticated mind like his. He’d have to choose someone else, someone with power but not too much.

The subject had piqued his interest. He’d have to dig into it after harvesting whatever knowledge this rabbit held. Knowledge was power after all, and he was searching to be the most powerful of them all.