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Panic at the Alabaster Inn
Chapter 3: In Which Allisse Loses the Grubwumps

Chapter 3: In Which Allisse Loses the Grubwumps

Allisse made her way down the grand staircase just as Thinneus entered, book in hand. “What are you up to?” he asked.

“Actually,” said Allisse, “I just finished helping a noble and was looking for the next project.”

“Excellent. I need help carrying this book to the study,” said Thinneus.

Allisse looked at him skeptically. “It doesn’t look very heavy.”

Thinneus smirked. “It’s an expensive tome. I’m sure our employer would want us to show utmost care.”

They walked through the lobby and came to a library full of books. There must be thousands! “Where do you think it goes?” Allisse asked.

“I was hoping you might be able to figure it out; I have no idea. Let’s split up and search.”

The title was “Alchemy for Everyday Use.” She looked around. Books on history, natural philosophy, medicine. Maybe medicine? She kept looking. The next section was an extensive set of religious texts for various gods, some she’d never heard of. One was bejeweled. She took it out; it was beautifully illuminated by a skilled scribe. The drawings were like nothing she’d ever seen, and much of the writing was done in gold and lapis lazuli ink. The text on alchemy Thinneus had picked up would cost maybe a few weeks’ wages for a common worker. But this, she couldn’t even imagine what a book like this would cost. A lifetime’s wages? The income of a small barony for several years? She put the book back on the shelf with trembling hands.

The next section over delved into magic. Ah, here was the place! She looked to find the section on alchemy. Half the titles were in languages she couldn’t read, some in languages she didn’t even recognize. She glanced at one she could read. Dialectical Meditations on the Confluences and Divergences of Arcane and Divine Metaphysics by Alabrastus the Theurge. The other nearby books were similarly complex. Xandrick’s Naming of Familiar Spirits. No, that wasn’t anywhere close. Wilderness Meditations or The Tenfold Paths of Natural Convergence. No. She kept looking, but most of the books seemed to be for people who already had a good deal of magical knowledge under their belt. And not a single book she could find dealt with alchemy.

She turned, only to bump into Thinneus who was staring at a painting. “You ever notice that all of Marcaveus’ art centers around adventurers?”

“I hadn’t,” Allisse said. But now that he mentioned it, the paintings she’d seen throughout the Inn all featured heroic adventurers in some form or another. This one showed the famous bard Alvindale relaxing under a tree, surrounded by woodland creatures as he played his lyre. Like all the art here, it was a masterpiece.

“He must really love stories of adventurers,” said Allisse.

“Maybe,” said Thinneus. “Or maybe he’s just pandering to his best-paying patrons.” But Thinneus didn’t seem to believe that either.

“We should keep looking for where the book goes,” said Allisse.

“I already checked the rest of the room,” said Thinneus. He’d already done the two thirds of the shelves she hadn’t checked? As if reading her thoughts he said “A lot of it was fiction, and there were a few children’s books. I was figuring it would be somewhere in your section.”

A loud screech shook the Inn, like a hawk’s, but far more intense. And a fierce wind began pounding the inn.

“What’s that?” Allisse said.

“My guess? Company.” said Thinneus, “Let’s leave the book on that reading stand there. Whoever runs this library might want to shelve it themselves anyway, and Marcaveus would want us on the job as soon as possible.”

They put the book down and headed to the front entrance where the noise was coming from, only to see a giant falcon beside the stables, the elven stablehand already beginning to loosen its harness that it was using to carry passengers.

“A roc!” exclaimed Allisse.

“A rock?” said Thinneus.

Allisse smiled. Thinneus seemed to always know what was going on before she did, and she was glad to finally have the advantage over him. “R-O-C. They’re giant birds of prey. I hear they’re nearly impossible to tame, but apparently someone did just that.”

Out from behind the hedgerows walked a human wearing studded leather armor made from some creature Allisse didn’t recognize. His glowing crystal sword rested just above his shoulder and wafted down a trail of snowflakes that outlined a force field on that armor. Around his neck was a simple necklace with nine dragon fangs on it, each from what had to be a different creature. His eyes quickly sized up everyone as if looking for threats, but the glance was gone in an instant and he relaxed slightly, reshouldering his massive pack and the shield that hung on it. But it was his arm that held Allisse’s gaze. His hand, and the bits of shoulder she could see looked like the flesh was dead, maybe even starting to rot.

Lupin stepped outside and took a small bow. “Welcome to the Alabaster Inn. How can we humbly meet your heart’s desire on this fine day?”

“Two rooms,” the man said.

“I will need a suite,” came a voice from back in the stables. A woman’s voice, with an elvish accent.

“A room and a suite will fetch a price of four platinum coins,” said Lupin, casually. The man nodded absently while Allisse nearly choked. Four platinum coins for a single night’s stay? Allisse and her grandmother could live on that sum for the better part of a year.

The woman stepped out, as elvish as her accent implied. A dark silk cloth was wrapped around her and seemed to writhe slightly of its own accord, while a pendant hung from her neck, glowing green with runes swirling about it. At her waist was a small purse, marked with arcane sigils. In each hand, she held a spiked iron chain that was stretched taut, but faded into nothingness a couple handspans from where she gripped them. The chains reappeared out of the air several feet later, attached to a pair of what couldn’t quite be called hounds. Each of the creatures was black and wraithlike, oozing a mist that seemed to suck the very light from the air. They looked at Allisse with eyes of burning fire. One carried a small but elegantly embroidered sack inlaid with jewels in its mouth, the second a larger leather bag that was wriggling with living things inside. The shadowy hounds moved toward Allisse, the gap between the chains growing longer to accommodate their movement, but a meager pull from the elf halted them. Allisse shrank back.

“My creatures will not harm you,” the elf said. “Please take my bags up to my room; I will join them shortly.”

Allisse gulped. The hounds each dropped their respective bags at the pages’ feet. Thinneus happened to get the small bejeweled one, and he spoke something in sylvan which made the elf smile. Allisse hesitated at the wriggling sack in front of her, then hefted it.

“Do you want to switch?” asked Thinneus.

Yes, said Allisse in her heart. But what came out of her mouth was “I’ve got it.” If she couldn’t handle basic tasks like this, she was never going to get anywhere at the Alabaster Inn. She stepped through the entranceway when the bag shook violently. But it was the growl that really startled her. She gave a quick scream and dropped the bag. The knot tying it broke, and out jumped a group of reptilian creatures, part lizard and part frog, each a different color. They leaped off in all directions before she could react.

“My grubwumps!” shouted the elf mage. “Get them! They’re a complete rainbow, I spent months gathering them.”

The man with the crystal sword and zombie arm already had the white grubwump in hand. He flinched as it let out a burning, radiant glow, and shoved the reptile back in the bag.

The elf said, “There were ten, so that leaves nine more. Each one is drawn to its own energy type. Find them.”

Lupin bowed. “We will recover our honor, madam.”

“I would expect so.” And with that, she strode into the Inn. The man with the sword handed the sack to Lupin and headed up to his room. Lupin in turn handed the bag to Thinneus. “This vessel is sturdier than its humble appearance would indicate, and I suspect it will be one of the few things that can contain these magical creatures for long.”

Allisse passed through the library when she heard a rustling sound. Turning, she saw the purple grubwump chewing on a book of magic that it had pulled off the shelves. Without thinking, she reached out and grabbed it. A wave of violet energy shot out from it, and searing pain ripped through her mind. She tasted the purple sound of worms wriggling into her happiness. Thinneus slapped the creature out of her hands. “Are you okay?” He stuffed it in the sack.

“I don’t think it got me that bad,” Allisse said, right before a horde of spectral butterflies flew out of the wall, bared their fangs, and rushed to suck her vital essences. She batted at the hallucinations for a second then stopped when Thinneus looked at her with concern. “I should sit down,” she said.

She waved Thinneus off and he went away. Her vision cleared and her stomach settled. In the room beyond her, she heard rustling, and Thinneus came back with a set of fireplace tools: tongs, shovel and brush. “Arm yourself, adventurer!” he said.

Allisse smirked and took the tongs. Thinneus took the brush and shovel, twirled them with a flourish, and then stooped to sweep up the ash he’d just spilled.

“Come with me,” said Thinneus. “Let’s double-team them.”

“I think we can cover more ground if we split up,” Allisse replied.

Thinneus frowned for an instant, then returned to a smile. “That makes sense.” A scream came from the kitchen and Thinneus rushed in that direction, shovel at the ready.

Allisse glanced quickly around the library but saw nothing else out of place so she moved on to the next room, which appeared to be a lounge or sitting room of some sort. Elegant couches in cream silk and gilt trim had inlaid pearls with carved ebony elements. There was a potpourri bowl on a marble pedestal and a sandalwood table in the center had several game boards lying on top of it. Along the far wall was a massive painting of the Battle of Faelorn Sky. While there were griffin knights battling with fell bats in the background, the focus of this piece was the four adventurers fighting the ancient dragon Malbrog. It was wonderful, but it didn’t have any grubwumps on it so it was time to move on to the next room, a white marble and obsidian hallway that led to a pair of doors, one labeled “ladies'' and the other “gentlemen.” Being of the feminine persuasion, she went into the former.

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As soon as she opened the door the wave of steam hit her, smelling faintly of rose petals. The floors and walls were a continuous mosaic of some underwater city and a group of people swimming toward it, a wizard, paladin, monk, and swordmage if Allisse had her guess, although she couldn’t name the specific group. They were all female. There were three pools in the room, and each of them was wide enough that Allisse could lay across it with ease. And in one of them was a red grubwump. She dashed toward it, tongs outstretched, but it swam rapidly and jumped into the waterspout that was trickling water into the pool. She heard a splash from the other side of the wall, so it hadn’t gone far. She quickly dashed out the door and through the other room only to encounter a bathhouse that was more occupied than the last one she had been in.

“I- I’m so sorry,” said Allisse to the man inside, who was lounging, nude, in the heated pool. “There was a grubwump and I was chasing it.”

It was the swordsman who had caught the white grubwump earlier. He nodded slightly but didn’t open his eyes. With his shirt off, she could see the black flesh on his hand also covered most of his arm. The areas where it touched living skin seemed swollen and infected. “If you keep staring,” the man said, “that grubwump’s going to get away.”

Allisse felt a surge of heat on her face that had nothing to do with the steam of the bathhouse. “I wasn’t— I didn’t— I mean— I just—” The man’s arm gestured vaguely in the direction of a finely-wrought end table upon which a red grubwump was eating from a bowl of rose petals.

“Would you like me to leave?” said Allisse “Give you a chance to get dressed?”

He sighed. “Let’s just get me back to my solitude as quickly as possible.”

Allisse mostly covered her eyes with one hand and moved forward awkwardly with the tongs in the other.

“That one is tied to life energy,” said the swordsman. “You can grab it with your bare hands.”

Allise tucked the tongs under one arm, grabbed the grubwump with the other, and dashed out of the room.

The hallway to the baths also led back to the entrance, and when she returned Thinneus was pushing a blue grubwump off an iced-over shovel into the sack. “You got one!” said Allisse.

“Two,” said Thinneus. “One in the oven and this wriggler in the icebox.”

“So that leaves five more,” said Allisse. “I covered all that area of the ground floor.” She gestured to the areas she’d been through.

“That mostly leaves the kitchen and dining room, and I cleared those,” said Thinneus. “Second floor, then. Come on Pixiepaws McSparkles.” At that, the small dog at his feet barked with glee and followed with a scurry. Where did he get a dog? Well, they were already charging up the right staircase, the hound struggling to climb with its short legs. She decided to begin ascending the left side.

At the top of the floor were a series of single rooms for patrons, their doors all the same pale wood but each with a different colored plaque on it. And all the doors were closed, meaning that the grubwump couldn’t have gotten in any of them. As she moved quietly, she heard a thumping sound coming from the water closet. The door was open wide enough to let a small animal in, like a grubwump. She knocked, “Anyone here?” No response, so she opened the door carefully, trying to make sure she didn’t encounter a patron in deshabille this time. The only being inside was a green grubwump, trying to open the lid to the latrine. She grabbed it with tongs and it let out a puff of mist that sizzled where it touched the metal and left corroded pits. Allisse ran down the hall, calling out to Thinneus. “Get the bag ready!” She rounded the corner, grubwump behind her so its acidic smoke wouldn’t hit her, saw Thinnues, and plopped the lizard in the sack with a sigh. He gave her a congratulatory nod and they split up again.

Allisse looked in and around the various antiquities, but there were no signs of grubwumps. And then she happened to look out a window. There were a few people out there, looking at the upper stories of the Inn. She wondered what had caught their attention. And then, in an instant, she knew. She ran down the stairs and outside, and was not surprised in the least to see a grubwump, this one yellow, climbing up onto the roof. It was that kind of day.

“Lupin,” she called out “is there an access path to the roof?”

“Unfortunately, the only paths available require you to be skilled in climbing or gifted with wings.”

Allise was neither. Okay, how could she get on top of the three story inn? The wall didn’t sport enough climbing surfaces. The nearby buildings were too far away… except the stables. They were maybe a story and a half tall, but that was a start. Allisse ran into the stables and saw Ardryll the elven stablehand tending to the roc. Hmm… if she rode the giant bird up, she could— No! Bad idea. She immediately thought of five different ways she would end up dead or fired with that strategy. But there was a ladder leading to the roof of the stables, and that got her closer.

She climbed the ladder and got out onto the flat roof. There was a drainpipe across from her. If she jumped far enough, grabbed the drainpipe, and managed to plant her feet perfectly on the ledge… she’d still fall to the ground and die. Thinking for a moment, she hauled the ladder up to the stable roof and braced it against the edge of the roof of the Inn nearby. It was a risky climb, but not certain death. And she wasn’t going to find a better way. She held the tongs in her teeth and began climbing. Below she heard a woman shout “Hey, don’t you be lookin’ up her skirt!” with the sound of a man grunting in pain. Great.

Allisse got to the roof, spat the iron taste out of her mouth, and looked for the grubwump. It was at the peak of the roof, gnawing on a metal rod. A lightning rod! She’d heard about them; the metal conducted electricity down to the earth, sparing buildings. The elf had mentioned that each grubwump was attracted to a different element; this was probably a lightning grubwump. She looked down at her tongs, her metal tongs. She needed a new plan. She circled around the grubwump and then slipped and fell on a loose tile. A loose tile! That was it. She grabbed it, pulled another one, and stalked toward the grubwump.

The creature was focused on licking the lightning rod, so she leapt and pinned it between two tiles. It pulsed a flash of lightning and Allisse was startled as she felt a pricking on her nose, but most of the energy hit the lightning rod and was channeled away. Allisse picked up the reptile, went back to the ladder, and put one foot on it only for it to come loose from its precarious position and fall to the ground.

“What was that?” came Ardryll’s voice from below.

“Uh, I’m stuck on the roof with an electric lizard and I don’t know how to get down.”

“Hmm...” said the stablehand. “I don’t know about getting you down, but I’m good with animals. Let the creature go.”

Ardryll began playing on her pipes, a soothing melody that made Allisse want to draw near and cuddle up at the elf’s feet. She knew better, but the grubwump was mesmerized and began climbing down the wall toward Ardryll. That left Allisse. She grabbed the drainpipe with arms and legs and slid down to the ground, chafed but back on solid ground.

Thinneus was there with the grubwump sack and used it to snatch the yellow one, which was still mesmerized by Ardryll’s music. “Nice job!” he said.

“What do we have left to cover?” said Allisse, catching her breath.

“That’s the good news,” said Thinneus, “I caught two more. There should only be one left.”

“That is good news. How’d you get it done so fast?”

“Well, I didn’t have to get up on the roof. I think the only place left to check is the basement. Let’s go!” He hefted the wriggling bag over his back.

They went through the Inn to the servants’ section, going from elegant and extravagant decoration to simple and reserved. Nothing was frivolous or ostentatious, but then again, nothing was dirty, worn out, ugly, or out of place. It was clean and simple, well ordered, and it looked nicer than the public areas of most places Allisse had been. The staircase to the cellar led to yet another change in decor: the Inn’s color schemes of brightly lit black and white spaces faded into dimly lit grays. Allisse was disappointed. Aside from the excellent workmanship, it was a cellar that wouldn’t have looked out of place in any ordinary building in the city. The walls were cobblestone and mortar, not marble or granite. The wooden timbers were oak, not mahogany or ebony. The wine racks were of a simple, pragmatic construction, even though she had no doubt that their contents were of the highest quality.

There was a massive brass vessel in the back, and even though her eyes were beginning to adjust, she was still having trouble seeing in the dim light. It was almost like an airtight room, circular in shape, with a watertight door built into it and something like a ship’s wheel protruding from that door. Curious, but there was no way the grubwump had found its way in there. She continued looking, and saw Thinneus waving her over. As she moved silently closer, she heard a digging sound. There, at the far wall, a black grubwump was trying to tunnel through the cobblestone wall. They came at it from both sides, Thinneus with shovel and broom and Allisse with tongs outstretched. They both missed and ended up in a heap on the floor while the grubwump leaped away. The grubwump began climbing the wine rack but Thinneus got to it first, brushing it off right before it could send a century-old bottle of elderberry wine to its doom. Allisse was right behind him with the tongs, grabbing the creature. Thinneus had the bag out in an instant and Allisse got the last grubwump in. Thinneus sealed it shut and they let out a shout of triumph.

A pebble from the hole the grubwump was trying to dig fell out, and Allisse turned back to notice that there was a room behind that wall. But there didn’t appear to be a door to get to that part of the cellar. Curious.

“I’ll take the bag up to the warlock,” said Thinneus.

Allisse shook her head. “No, I made the mistake. I need to make it right.” She reached out her hands and Thinneus gave her the sack. Allisse double-tied the knot sealing it and hefted it over her shoulder, then made her way alone to the third floor.

She knocked on the door to the elf woman’s suite and after getting permission entered, dragging the bag. “I got all the grubwumps.”

The elven warlock fingered something in the pouch at her waist and her eyes glowed as she eyed the sack Allisse held, and then she nodded. “Leave the sack by the chair and wait for me to return,” she said.

Allisse did so and looked around the room. In the middle of the lush carpeting sat a low table carved entirely from a single piece of jade. No, several pieces skillfully joined together to look like one. Twin couches of embroidered silk sat at opposite ends of the table, while in the corner there was a writing desk with an ivory stool. While it was all finely crafted, the earth tones, leaf patterns on the couches, and tree murals on the walls almost made the room feel like a forest or jungle. The decor was entirely different from the suite the lords were occupying just a few doors down, but just as extravagant.

The elven warlock returned with a scrap of paper, “Here’s a list of magical components I require for my spells. I need you to purchase them and bring them to me by the end of the day. I’m sure you know the most reliable vendors for these sorts of things.” Allisse didn’t but she nodded and smiled. The elf continued, “Thomas keeps the money on hand, see him for the necessary funds.”

Allisse was confused at that one. “Thomas?”

“My traveling companion,” the elf said. “We entered the Inn together. He had a rugged countenance, held a longsword of ice, and had the curse of Nerachna on his arm.”

“Yes, of course,” said Allisse. “Will there be anything else?”

“Not for now,” said the elf. “You are dismissed.” Allisse curtsied and left, putting the note in her pockets. Pockets! This outfit was beautiful, but Allisse was starting to find it was also quite practical.

Asking a few of the staff, Allisse found that Thomas had taken up residence in the room directly below his warlock companion. She went to his door and knocked.

“Come on in,” he said.

She entered and saw him examining and caring for his weapons. “I want to apologize again for earlier,” she said. He ignored her and she continued. “Your companion wanted me to purchase magical reagents for her, and said you had the money?”

“Right, right. In all the confusion earlier, we missed out on payment for our rooms. I might as well have you balance our accounts for us while you’re here.” He pulled a weird cabinet box out of his haversack, a bit longer than his forearm and half as wide. It was covered on all sides with various drawers and cupboards like an armoire, and the way they were built into the cabinet made no sense. He pulled open a drawer that took up the bottom third of the cabinet, intersecting a dozen other drawers, lids, and doors. But if Allisse had her guess, this thing was enchanted to hold far more than its physical structure should allow.

The drawer that was open was filled near the brim with platinum coins. Thomas pulled out five, shut the drawer, and placed them in Allisse’s hand. He said, “That should cover the room cost, plus whatever you need to buy for Aeriav.” Aeriav? Oh right, that must be the elven warlock. The swordsman continued, “You can keep whatever’s left.”

Allisse had never held a platinum coin in her hand before. These were heavy, bigger and weightier than gold coins. And she didn’t recognize the portrait or inscription on them. She mumbled some sort of thanks to Thomas, curtsied, and left.

The day had gotten out of hand so far, but things were starting to look up. She took a triumphant step down the hall, then a second, then passed out.