What am I doing with my life?

Here I am sitting at a bar and getting drunk while the sun is still up. I can't believe that retirement is this boring. Well, I guess if you live on a tightrope between life and death for the last five years, drinking at a bar seem boring. What am I us suppose to do now after I quit being a hero?

After five years the work starts to look repetitive, the villain's faces start blending into one giant mess at some point. There is one thing that I learned after being a hero for five years, that is villains are dumb. Their evil scheme, unbeatable strategy, and fool-proof plan always have huge flaws or enough small mistakes that I can take advantage of to defeat them.

I guess I needed a hobby, playing video games in my room sounds fun but after a while gets boring. Maybe I should try golf? Yeah, not a chance. I'd rather be a demon lord assistant than play golf.

Maybe I should find a job? It's not like they wanted me back in the hero union.

A 23-year-old with the face of a 40-year-old and the temperament of a 10-year-old. My resting bitch face and 5 o'clock shadow don't help. After heroes band together to create the union stopping villains has been a piece of cake. Systematically placing heroes where they are needed most, fighting enemies that suited their battle style and adding comrades to compliment the heroes fighting style.

In its glory days, it was a beacon of hope. Heroes with the same mindset of defeating villains and getting rid of injustice band together to create a union so they can better help people and train their juniors. Now, it looked more like an idol contest where those that have pretty faces, flashy technique, and great sponsors are known as the greatest of heroes. Such a shame for a great institution corrupted because of money and fame.

It's understandable in a business where you risked your life for every mission, money, and fame are always a great incentive. It's not like everyone becomes a hero out of the goodness in their heart. We all have rent we need to pay and food on our plate. I'm not qualified to judge them since the reason I become a hero in the first place was because of the great paycheck and villains treasures are always tempting. I got enough money that I don't need to work another day in my life.

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Well, that's enough reminiscing for me. My last drink before I go home.

"Bartender, scotch on the rocks please."

"Coming right up."

I drink the scotch home then I started walking home. While I am walking home or stumbling to be more accurate, I see a poster that caught my attention. It is an advertisement for a company.

Overlord Consultancy Firm Job Opening.

Do you think that most villains are dumb?

Do you think that you can do better than them?

If you think you can do a better job than them, call us now at 1-800-Evil or email us at [email protected].

It might be my drunk brain speaking, but I'd like to apply for this. For quite some time now I thought I made a better villain than all my enemies combined. Well, If I don't get hired, I'll report this place to the hero union. So whichever way it goes I'll get to watch something interesting.

I emailed them saying I was interested in joining their company. They replied saying they want an interview with me. Wow, this place is shady as hell. They didn't ask for my resume and just went with an interview?

It's probably a scam but who cares. It looks like that I have an interview plan for tomorrow. 

Here I am an ex-hero standing in front of a self-storage facility near the marina. Going to an interview for a villain consultant firm, that I got from a back alley. Yeah, it's a great way to spend a Friday. I go inside since that's apparently where the interview supposed to happen. 

When I'm inside the facility an Asian man wearing a suit is waiting for me.

"Are you Mr. Peter Reed?" asked the man.

"Yes."

"You said you were interested in joining overlord consultancy firm?"

"Yes, I am."

"I have a couple of question to ask you to see if you are qualified for the job." 

"What was your last occupation, Mr. Reed?"

"I was a hero," I said while smiling.

"Ok, we only have one question to see if you are qualified or not. What do you think the most important thing a villain needs?"

He wasn't scared when I told him that I was a hero. This place is getting more interesting.

 "The most important thing for a villain to have is a regular five-year-old child as an advisor. Every plan that I have must go through the child. Any flaws in my plan he found by him would be corrected before implemented."

"Hahaha. I've never heard that answer before. You're hired you start tomorrow. What do you say?"

"I won't let you down."

At least now my life wouldn't be boring. I thought while smiling.