“So what happens now?” I asked, “I’ve got no way home, here or anywhere else, right?” I clarified, it would be just like some genre otherworldly Wizard of Oz bs for it to turn out that all I needed to do the whole time was shake my tail and say three times, ‘there’s no place like a cheap apartment’ and then bam I’m back home again.
But? The range of hung heads and uncomfortable gestures ranged from sheepish, to ashamed, to pitying. “No, I’m afraid not.” The oldest of the group said, “It will take years to fix this properly, even if we do, sending you home is…” His tail drooped, “we’re able to send people ‘away’ and we ‘think’ they go back home when we do. But we have no way to check. For all we know they end up somewhere else entirely.”
“Couldn’t you just pull them back again and ask them?” I asked, but the old scientist spread out his hands at his sides and answered…
“Do you think we wouldn’t do that? No. Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. We don’t even call for many ‘people’. We ask for a ‘solution’ and this time?”
“I was the solution.” I finished his thought when he shook his head.
“I’m sorry. Truly. Do you have a family to get back to?” He asked, and that actually made me pause to think it over.
I had a penis that I definitely miss… but then again if I am a kitsune…? I shook that off to answer his question first. “No. Honestly, there’s nobody to go back to. I had a home, a bunch of tinker kits I still wanted to put together, but those won’t miss me.” I answered, that, I hated to say. I’d miss the job, but would I miss the job?
It was just a way to buy more things to build, break, and rebuild. If this place had the same, and I get to be a magic kitsune girl? It honestly didn’t strike me as a terrible deal.
“Hey, science guy, this is magic, right?” I asked and waved toward the machine.
“Sort of. It’s a blend of science and magic, ‘magisci’ to be precise.” He seemed more confident, and since I was calmer and less distressed, and probably since they realized they hadn’t taken me away from anyone in particular… I guess that was less of a burden on their consciences.
It’s funny how that works, the conscience weighs the head down, and easing it lets it come back up again. Or so I’ve noticed.
“Okay, so magic exists in this world, good to know. That explains all this.” I said and reached up to touch my ears. I would have grabbed my tails too, but what if that was like grabbing your own ass? It might be rude. The ears made my point.
He cocked his head at what I said, I supposed he probably didn’t know what his machine did. “Do ‘humans’ exist here?” I asked.
He nodded, “Yes.”
“I was a human. And a guy. Now my son is missing and I’ve got girls instead, not to mention the rest.” I pointed at my waist and then held my hands up beside my breasts. “Could you explain?”
They flushed a bright red in their faces. But the old man at least wasn’t tongue tied. “Yes, well… it might have been the way we asked the machine… you have to be very precise, you know. Very precise, and we were in a rush. What we should have asked for was ‘something to clean up the spill safely’. What we actually said was…” He looked around, “How did we say it?”
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
A slender catwoman’s tail swished, she wore glasses on her face and pressed them against her face with one extended claw, her white coat shook with the uncomfortable swishing. “Send us someone with what they need, to clean up.”
“That doesn’t sound like it should have done…” I waved my hand up and down the length of my body, “this.”
“It would, if it were said ‘send us someone’ she paused, ‘with what they need’ she paused again, ‘to clean up’.” She fell silent after that, I stared at her waiting for the pause to end, but it just got longer.
“Oh.” I said when she only stared back at me with luminous green eyes, her vertical pupils were fixed on me and I could only say, “Oh.” Again. I had no idea what she was talking about.
“The parameters were broken up.” She explained when she realized I was clueless. “Which meant when it chose you, it changed you to something more in line with what you saw yourself and how you wanted to be. You are someone. You saw yourself differently. And you had what would be needed to solve the crisis and save our lives.” Her tone was brusque, but when she said the last part, she seemed to realize how cold she sounded.
Her hands went flat to her thighs and she bent forward, sliding them down to just above her knees in a deep bow. “Thank you, for that.”
I think some people would have been offended by what she said, but the proof was in the pudding. I wasn’t nearly as upset as some of my favorite protagonists would have been. Far from it, the wall was polished enough that I had a somewhat blurry reflection at least, and even with what little I could see, I looked good.
I like the new me.
“So, what happens now? Do I get a big reward or-” I trailed off when they looked sheepish again.
The old scientist wrung his hands and said, “Well, ah, since we did this on our own, there’s exactly no chance of the government rewarding you. If you’d been chosen or summoned to solve a national crisis, I’m sure we’d reward you greatly. But we acted without thinking so…”
“Kotomo… shut up.” The catwoman snapped. I yanked my head away from the old man to face the feline. Her ears were back and if she’d hissed next I would have been completely unsurprised.
“So… I’m not the chosen one… and I’m broke. Homeless. And jobless.” I summarized. This was not looking good.
“No. You’re not the chosen one. And worse, he’s not wrong, but there’s nine of us here who owe you a life debt. We’ll take up a collection for you. Won’t we?” She looked at her colleagues. “And, if you should find yourself short of funds in the future, or in need of some help our office can provide. We’ll help you. Won’t we?” She asked, but she was clearly not asking.
The old man spoke up again, “Yes. Yes, of course. We’ll get you started with what you need! We’ll get you a slate, register you as a citizen so you have your rights, transfer some money to you, teach you to use it. And if ever you need our support or assistance, it’s yours for the asking.” He nodded emphatically, his ears wiggling around as he insisted on echoing the sentiments of his colleague.
“I’ll see to him myself.” The catwoman scientist said and strode over to me, “I’m Dr. Ita Shizumura. Can we have the name of our rescuer?” She asked and stuck out her hand. It was a fairly human hand, but her nails were claws, she retracted them, and they returned to being normal looking fingernails.
I took her hand. “Aiko. Aiko Tsuniki.”
“Alright, Aiko, come with me and we’ll get your life here started.” She said, and the previously sealed door opened up. She led me out, and as I followed, I began to wonder if my bad luck was good luck after all. Perhaps that’s why I followed her with a spring in my step.