Chapter Fifteen

I sat at my table and gave Rollo a quick description, and Loysa’s name, along with what she was wearing when I last saw her. I had no idea if she’d had any luck finding a room. Or if she’d eaten. Or… well you know what? I just really wished I could have seen her face when Rollo found her. I was thinking of that with a big smile on my face while I chowed down on my fruit basket.

I felt a little guilty, but honestly… only a little. I mean, there were fruits shaped like stars that had a little glowy pulse to them. There were fruits shaped like grapes that bounded back like rubber when I squeezed them, I had to clamp my jaw shut tight to burst the juice, and they exploded in my mouth with some of the sweetest flavors I’ve ever experienced.

There were black apples and blue berries the size of apples which were nothing but juicy flesh beneath a very thin and easily broken skin. I tried not to just ‘shovel’ it into my mouth hand over fist.

But I can’t pretend I tried all that hard.

Within ten minutes of Rollo’s departure I was leaning back in the soft cushioning of a luxurious chair holding a big belly stuffed full of so much fruit that I wondered if I’d have room for dinner. My face was smeared with juice, and it would be fair to say I was ‘slumped’.

I hadn’t had a bath since I got to this world, and where it was night time for me back on Earth, it had been morning when I got here. So much had happened and I had to think it all over. Plus I still had to get to the mech battles, even if those were delayed.

I belched, and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror out of the corner of my eye. I made a very pretty girl, if I did say so myself. And strangely enough I was far more at home in this body than I was in my old one. I ran my right hand through the hair on my head. It was silky smooth, and I liked the way my ears stood up. But then again…

I thought about that giant of a retired adventurer, sure he was too old for me, but even so, I thought of myself as straight, I should have at least found him attractive. But I hadn’t. ‘It changed my body, but maybe it didn’t really change my mind? Or…’ I flicked the tip of my fox ears. I hadn’t really felt physically attracted to Loysa, or the gnome, Sami either. Or the elf woman who worked at the arena.

Had I just lost all interest in everyone? I shook my head. “No, that can’t be right, I’m just still getting used to all this, it’s been a lot to take in and it’d be no surprise if my libido was a little off kilter. But then, when it normalizes after I settle down?” I raised an eyebrow and thought of Loysa.

I shook my head. ‘No way.’ I thought decisively, too stiff, too rigid, too sour tempered, and even if she weren’t, I knew she was only staying with me until I got my first rank. But then again?

‘I sort of think I got my first rank already, what with that ‘emergency quest’ thing. I’ll have to ask her about that.’ I pondered and closed my eyes with a contented sigh. I hadn’t eaten this well in forever. ‘Remember, she did eat all your sweets earlier. Fair is fair.’ I reassured myself with a little smile.

I was still slumped there in a self induced food coma with a goofy smile on my face staring up at nothing while I replayed the events in my mind, when I heard the elevator gears outside. I started to giggle, and couldn’t stop.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

It was all just too funny.

Everything seemed funny.

Loysa stormed into the room, I could hear her stomping even though I couldn’t see her since my head started feeling way too heavy to lift while I had it hanging over the back of the chair. It was so much easier to just keep staring upwards and laughing.

“What did you do?!” She shouted, “What in Manami did you do to get Yorgim Schnee to give you access to his private suite?! Do you know how much this costs?! Do you know who he is?! Did you take out a loan?!” She was all but screeching at me, and I just… I giggled.

“You sound funny, silly girl.” I giggled again. “All the screech. Did a job. A good job… ohhh so good.” I gave her a thumbs up without lifting my hand. This food coma was really hitting me hard.

She stormed over and hovered above me, her face looming about a handspan over mine. I was very conscious of the smile that wouldn’t go away, and the juices on my face. But I also didn’t really care.

She frowned. “What’s wrong with you?” She asked, out of the corner of my eye I could tell she’d put her hands on her hips.

“Nothing. Food coma. I ate fruit. Lots of fruit. It was good. You ate my snacks this morning, so it’s only fair.” I protested ahead of her objections, and began to giggle again.

Her frown didn’t vanish, but she turned her gaze away from me and over to the empty brown wicker basket on the table.

“Oh no.” She said and picked the basket up. “You didn’t.”

“I suuuuure did.” I giggled. I tilted my head a little toward her, “What’d I do?”

“You ate this. All of this.” She said and tilted the empty basket toward my face.

I giggled. “Yup.”

“You’re not supposed to do that!” She exclaimed and slapped the palm of her hand against her face. “Don’t you know what those were!”

“Yep. They were delicious. And you’re pretty.” I giggled again. “But even if you’re pretty, I earned them, yes I did, yes I did, yes, I, did!” And I fell into a streak of giggles.

“That was meant to feed a party. Like a whole group of rich guests… and those were… infused.”

“Fused to what?” I asked, and giggled, my head flopped to one side.

“Alcohol. A lot of it. And probably some other things too, maybe some opyasain or who knows what.” She took a deep, long suffering breath. “Well, you’re useless tonight. And it looks like my babysitting duties are about to get as messy as can be.”

She stepped back, “Just stay there, not that you have a choice. I’ll get a bucket. No. Two buckets and a bedpan. But you owe me for this.”

All I could do was giggle. I vaguely remember feeling the urge to violently throw up. And the need to find a toilet as fast as possible while being unable to move to do so.

But after that, there are only flashes, followed by blackness until morning.