The two-hour plane ride back to Midtown was the longest two hours of Louis's life. When they finally touched down, Louis was grateful that he had no baggage to collect and sprinted from the terminal. He was in such a rush that he nearly didn't recognize the bright orange Mustang parked right beneath the arrivals sign. He did a double take and Jennifer Yang beckoned to him.
“David called,” she said simply as Louis approached. Louis just nodded, not trusting his voice as he climbed into her car. He owed David. And Jennifer. “Which hospital?”
Louis glanced over at her then gave the address. It was the closest hospital to Midtown, but perhaps most people weren’t as familiar with the locations of hospitals as Louis had come to be.
They drove in complete silence, for which Louis was grateful. He was already sick to his stomach with worry. She was still alive—stable, they'd said—but Louis didn’t know for how much longer.
Jennifer pulled up to the main entrance and let him out, saying something about going back to meet David whenever he arrived. Louis didn’t wait for her to finish the thought before he was out the door with a hurried thank you and sprinting toward the hospital.
He went directly up to the cancer ward. None of the usual nurses were there, but just as he approached the nurse’s station, Dr. Vasquez came in through a set of wide doors where the single-rooms for the critically ill patients were located.
Rosemarie had never yet been admitted to those rooms—rooms which Louis's mind always termed the death rooms—but seeing Rosemarie’s doctor walk through those doors still made Louis's heart stop.
“Dr. Vasquez,” Louis called, unable to make his feet move toward those doors. Juana Vasquez was a petite woman in her mid-fifties with corkscrew curls and a warm disposition. She was exactly the kind of doctor that Rosemarie needed and the kind that Louis typically avoided. Right now, though, Louis didn’t think he had ever been happier to see her.
“Mr. Greene,” Vasquez said, approaching him with swift clacking of her practical flats. Louis opened his mouth to ask about Rosemarie, but she was already speaking. “Rosemarie is stable and there’s nothing immediate to worry about. She had a bit of a scare when she collapsed at the grocery store. She's on fluids and we'll keep her for observation tonight.”
Louis's heart thundered in his chest. She had collapsed. She had collapsed while doing something as menial as grocery shopping. The idea that she might not be well enough to continue such normal routines twisted Louis's gut in knots.
He never should have left for Weldstone Harbor. What was he thinking? Rosemarie was sick. What would he do if this was the last time he saw her? Why hadn’t he thought of that before he left?
Dr. Vasquez said a few more words but Louis wasn’t listening. After a moment, she gestured for him to follow her to Rosemarie—thankfully, in the opposite direction of the palliative care units.
Louis wasn’t sure what he was expecting as they made their way toward the doors. Rosemarie was stable, she’d said, but what did that mean, exactly?
He braced himself as he entered the room. But Rosemarie looked very much like she had the day he left for Weldstone Harbor.
Asleep on the crisp white and teal bed, she looked like she did any other night aside from the IV at her wrist. Louis breathed a sigh of relief at the slow rise and fall of her chest and the comforting blip of her heart rate on the monitor.
“You can stay with her as long as you’d like. The nurses will be in and out throughout the night,” Dr. Vasquez said.
“Thank you, Doctor,” Louis managed before collapsing into the chair beside her bed. He took her free hand in both of his and pressed a gentle kiss to it without waking her.
Rationally, he had known that this was coming, but it still felt like he'd been blindsided by it.
Rosemarie was in the hospital...
And Louis hadn’t been there for her.
He had been in another state, too far away to rush to the hospital, too far away to be here with her until the emergency was over. Guilt gnawed at him even as he felt frozen by the idea of being here to see it happen.
He didn’t want to see her die.
He wanted to run away and hide from it, even though he knew that wouldn’t make it any less permanent.
He just didn’t want to see her die.
And even as he felt guilt over the idea of leaving her alone like that, he couldn’t stop the desire.
He didn’t want her to die....
Louis dropped his head down to the bed beside their hands and closed his eyes.
He must have drifted off at some point because when he opened his eyes again, Rosemarie was watching him, her hand threading through his hair in a gentle caress. Louis cleared his throat of sleep and straightened up.
“Your phone was ringing,” she said.
“Sorry, I thought it was on silent.”
Rosemarie chuckled. "I was up anyway. They’re rather persistent, though. You might want to—" her words were cut off by a new ring.
Louis pulled his phone from his coat pocket and glanced at the caller ID. It was David. David was both the first and last person he wanted to talk to right now. His hand hesitated for a second before declining the call and shooting off a quick text of, At the hospital with Rosemarie. I’ll call you later.
“It’s just David,” Louis said. “I’ll call him back.”
Rosemarie gave him a skeptical look but didn’t fight him on it.
Now that she was awake, she looked tired and maybe a little scared, too. Louis chewed his lip trying to decide what to say. He wanted to apologize for not being there but he knew Rosemarie would brush it off like she always did. Instead, he should probably tell her to get some sleep.
“You look tired,” Rosemarie said, taking the words right out of his mouth.
“You’re one to talk,” he said, tone only just pulling off teasing. “What happened?” he asked when he couldn’t hold it back any longer.
“Just the nature of the beast,” she said softly. “I’m not too clear on the details myself. The last thing I remember was feeling dizzy at the grocery store and then I was waking up here.”
“I should have been here,” Louis said softly, gripping her hand in his. Rosemarie shook her head.
“It’s not the first time I’ve fainted, Lou,” she reminded. “And the only reason I’m here is because someone at the store called an ambulance. Don’t make a fuss.”
Louis wanted to protest, to tell her that it clearly was different since they were keeping her here for observation, but for now he was too emotionally drained to argue. He wished that he could pretend that everything was fine, but it wasn’t. This was just the beginning and the thought of what came at the end made Louis feel like he was standing at the edge of the abyss.
“Lou,” Rosemarie said, bringing him back to the present. “None of that. I can tell what you are thinking and I want none of it.” Despite her harsh words, she ran a hand through his hair. Louis rolled his eyes, doing his best to play along.
“Do you need anything?” he asked.
Rosemarie’s lips quirked. “Sleep. Which you clearly need, too.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you up. You should sleep. I’ll just—”
“I will sleep once you go home. I’ll be discharged tomorrow and you should get some real sleep in a real bed and then you can bring the car over tomorrow.”
“Rosemarie,” Louis started.
She cut him off with a look.
“Lou,” she said, “I will not be able to sleep with you here. I will worry about you all night, so please, for both of our sakes, go home. Get some proper sleep and then bring my blue dress for when I’m discharged tomorrow. Everything’s going to be all right.”
Louis let out a long breath. Leaving was the last thing he wanted to do right now, but he knew, too, that sometimes Rosemarie really did need to be alone. Sometimes, she needed to not have to be strong for Louis.
Louis knew that and he hated it.
He wished that she could let him in and share her pain with him, let him be there for her no matter what her feelings were on all of this. He wished that he knew how to tell her that he was here and that he knew she was hurting, too, and that she didn't need to spare his feelings.
But there were some things that they had never really shared. If she couldn’t share this with him, he could force himself to leave. He could give her the space she needed to process it without worrying about how he felt.
"Do you really want to be alone?" Louis asked, voice quiet.
"I'm sorry," Rosemarie said, looking down. She gave his hand a squeeze. Louis swallowed hard and nodded.
“I love you,” he said, standing enough that he could lean over and give her a tight hug and a kiss on the side of her head.
“I love you, too. More than you will ever know,” she said, rubbing a hand over his ribs. “Now go get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Logically, there was no reason to think otherwise, but walking out of the hospital room was still the hardest thing he had ever done. He made it all the way to the first floor before realizing that he didn’t have his car. In fact, he probably didn’t even have his keys. He didn’t think that he had had the presence of mind back in Weldstone Harbor to separate his Midtown keys from his condo keys before he left.
He was just pulling out his phone to call a cab when the elevator doors opened to reveal David who looked almost as surprised to see him as Louis was to see David.
Louis silently put the phone back in his pocket.
Louis didn’t know what to say as he stepped out of the elevator. His mind wouldn’t stop whirring. She was stable. She was stable and they were keeping an eye on her. Everything would be fine. Tonight, at least, everything would be fine.
He wanted to stay with her, to hold her hand all night and be sure she was still breathing. But at the same time, he didn't know if he could. Even if she hadn’t banished him, he wasn't sure he was strong enough to sit there watching her lie there so still and quiet in that bed.
It felt too much like foreshadowing.
“Louis,” David said softly and Louis realized that David still had no idea what was going on. He looked pale and nearly as worried as Louis had been. Louis let out a breath.
“She’s stable. They're just keeping her overnight,” he said. “I—” Louis shook his head. He didn’t know where to go with that thought. All he could think was that he needed to get back to the house, get Rosemarie’s dress and then find a hotel or something nearby.
He should stay close to the hospital. Just in case. But part of him really didn’t want to be there to see it happen. Even though she seemed like she was all right for tonight.
He didn’t know what the hell he was going to do if tonight was the night.
If she died—when she died—Louis thought he just might lose his mind.
“Louis? Louis!” David’s voice brought him out of his thoughts again. He didn’t know why he felt so tired all of a sudden.
"What are you doing here?" Louis asked, voice raw.
David's hands came up to grip his arms, giving them a reassuring squeeze. "I have your keys," he said. "So I brought your car. I hope you don't mind...."
“Good. Let’s get out of here,” he said, grabbing David’s hand and pulling him back out of the hospital. He didn’t know where David had parked, so he let David take the lead, though he confiscated the keys for himself.
David hesitated before climbing in the passenger side of the car. He looked about as lost as Louis felt. As Louis pulled out onto the road heading back toward the Midtown B&B, David reached over and gave his shoulder a quick squeeze. It was over in an instant, but Louis was more grateful for that small comfort than he had words to describe.
“She's not in danger. They’re keeping her overnight,” Louis said, reminding himself as much as trying to fill David in. “She should be discharged in the morning.”
David let out a relieved sigh. “That’s good. I can’t imagine she likes being stuck there.”
Louis gave a short shake of his head. “She ordered me to go home.”
David nodded as though this made perfect sense, though none of this made any sense.
“Do you want company?” David asked slowly.
Louis thought for a moment. Part of him wanted to ask David to stay, but the other part of him couldn’t stand the idea of having David here right now. Not when he felt so raw, so vulnerable. David was a good friend, his closest friend, and right now they were playing at something else, but Louis still shied away from the idea of David seeing him—seeing all the hurt and fear in his mind.
“I’ll drop you off at the B&B,” Louis said. It wasn’t an answer to the question. If it was, it would have been a lie, but it was the best Louis could do.
Louis could see David watching him out of the corner of his eye, but he didn’t push the issue. Louis was only half relieved about that.
As they drove, Louis both dreaded and anticipated David’s departure. Like Rosemarie, sometimes he just needed to be alone—to think through things and sort out his feelings. Sometimes, he wished someone would tell him that they weren't leaving him alone, even if he wanted them to. It didn't make sense, but, then, nothing about this night made sense. He wanted to be everywhere and nowhere at all. And, most of all, he wanted to stop thinking. He wanted all of this to be over, even though he knew what it would mean for it to end.
When he pulled into the parking lot of the B&B, David hesitated. There was a long moment during which Louis couldn’t quite bring himself to ask David to stay after all and during which David did not offer again.
“Take care of yourself, Lou,” David said. His voice was soft, but it echoed in the silence of the night.
Louis gave a tight nod and David squeezed his shoulder again before getting out of the car. Louis watched until David disappeared through the door before letting out a shaky breath, his forehead coming to rest against the steering wheel.
Everything was falling apart.
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He forced a breath into protesting lungs. All he had to do was get through tonight.
Tomorrow, he’d go pick Rosemarie up from the hospital and everything would be all right again. Only... things wouldn’t be all right again. Whether it was tonight or a year from now, Louis knew that there was a limit to all right.
Louis hands gripped the steering wheel tighter and he squeezed his eyes shut, warring with himself.
He didn’t want to be alone, but he desperately didn’t want to be with anyone else, either.
It wasn’t until he heard David’s muffled voice and a sharp rap on the window that he realized David had come back. He pried his hand from the steering wheel long enough to unlock the door. His whole body was stiff as he unbuckled his seatbelt. David flung open the door before he could and practically dragged him out of the car and into his arms. Louis's arms came up around David almost instinctively.
“Fuck. I don’t know how to help, Lou,” David said, pressing his face into Louis's neck. “But I can’t just leave you alone. I don’t know what else to do.”
“She’s all right,” Louis said, though he wasn’t sure if he was trying to remind David or himself. “She’s stable.” His hands were shaking. Louis gripped the back of David’s shirt even tighter, trying to get the trembling to stop.
“Yeah, I know,” David breathed. “She’s stable. I’m still freaking out, though, and it must be even worse for you.”
Those words were somehow exactly what Louis needed to hear and he let out a shuddering breath. Louis could feel the pounding of David’s heart against his chest, he counted the beats, trying to distract himself from the cycle of she’s dying, she’s dying, she’s dying, oh, God, she’s dying, that wouldn’t leave his head.
David’s skin smelled stale and musty, but Louis needed more. His arms tightened around David, pressing him back against the car. Louis could barely contain himself as he pressed his lips to David's jaw, then to his mouth, hands gripping David's head and waist tight enough to bruise. He bit at David's lip, wanting all of him so desperately it was almost frightening.
David didn’t protest, simply matched him, kiss for kiss, bite for bite, groaning encouragingly into his mouth as Louis pressed his whole weight against him.
“I want you,” Louis whispered against David's ear, his hand cradling the back of David's neck. The words felt raw, like a broken secret against David's neck. "I want you so badly."
"Louis," David gasped, breathless. His body writhed against Louis and Louis couldn't hold back the groan that escaped him. His knee found its way between David's legs and David's hips jerked.
Louis bit down on the lobe of David’s ear and felt the shiver run through David’s body. This was a bad idea. It was too fast, too sudden. But right now he just didn’t care. He needed someone.
He needed David.
“Louis, come upstairs,” David said, breathlessly. "Stay with me."
*****
The entire drive back, Louis's face had been pale and he wore an expression that made David’s chest ache. He didn't want to leave Louis alone, but he knew Louis didn't always appreciate company. Still, it had used all his willpower to leave the car.
By the time he reached the stairs, hand hesitating on the banister, David realized he couldn't do it. He hadn’t even considered that Louis might have left already before he had turned around and sprinted back into the parking lot.
When he saw Louis hunched over the steering wheel, David knew that he couldn’t leave him alone. Not now, or ever. He’d opened the door and pulled Louis against him without thinking. All he knew was that he needed to be close to Louis and Louis had seemed to need that, too.
So, when he’d said, “I want you,” David had no desire to deny him.
Louis mouth was hot and hard and demanding. Branding his claim against David's skin.
“Upstairs,” David prompted again before he lost all sense. He wasn't even sure if they closed the car door as he dragged Louis up to his room. He fumbled for his keys while Louis's arms wrapped possessively around his waist, his chest pressed up against David's back. David swore softly when he dropped them on the floor. He bent awkwardly to pick them up, Louis's hands refusing to release him for even that long.
David barely managed to unlock the door before Louis was on him again, his hands on either side of David's face, pulling him in for a devouring kiss. David's palms smoothed over Louis's chest and stomach. He'd left his suit jacket somewhere and the silk of his shirt sent electricity through David's fingers as his hands explored Louis's body.
It wasn't enough, so David tugged at Louis's shirt until it came free from his pants, his hands immediately diving beneath them to squeeze at his hips and sides, pulling him in closer. Louis's skin felt amazing—hot and smooth against his hands, and the thick covering of hair over his stomach.
Louis's hands dropped from David's face and he pulled back just enough to pull his tie loose and start neatly unfastening the buttons of his shirt. That was a good idea. David knocked Louis's hands away to undo the buttons himself, fumbling as Louis tugged him out of his own jacket and tie.
"You look incredible in a suit," Louis said, pressing their foreheads together. "I've been thinking about taking it off of you since this morning."
David laughed and pressed a kiss to the side of Louis's mouth. "I look so good in it that you wanted it off of me?"
"Yes." Louis's tone sent a shiver down David's spine and that craving for closeness strengthened in his belly. His fingers clumsily unfastened the remaining buttons, then started pushing the shirt off of his shoulders.
"Cuffs," Louis reminded him, laughter rumbling in his chest.
David rolled his eyes, ears heating a little. "Why do you wear things with so many buttons?" he grumbled, but took Louis's hands and unfastened the cufflinks, pulling away from him just long enough to drop them and David's own cufflinks, on the table by the TV remote.
When he turned back, Louis had stripped the rest of the way out of his shirt. David's breath caught in his chest and his heart hammered with nervous anticipation.
Louis held out a hand and David stepped back into his embrace, just close enough to touch. Louis let him take his time, hands settling agreeably but undemanding on David's shoulders and arms. David's eyes and hands roved over the ridges of Louis's chest.
God, he was gorgeous.
His skin was pale and smooth, though there was a generous sprinkling of hair over his chest and stomach. David had the sudden impulse to lean down and bite one of those pink nipples. A little embarrassed by the prospect, though, David contented himself with running his hands up and down his chest and sides.
"I—" David started, voice catching in his throat. "Louis—" he tried again, but didn't know where to take the sentence. Instead, he pulled his hands back from Louis's chest and began unbuttoning his own shirt. Louis watched with hooded eyes as David removed his shirt.
He felt strangely shy about it, despite the fact that he'd shown more skin to more people on many occasions. He swallowed hard as he dropped the shirt on the floor, face and chest feeling flushed under Louis's gaze.
In what was possibly the sexiest move in the history of sexy moves, Louis hooked a hand into David's belt and reeled him in for another kiss. David groaned into the kiss, his shyness forgotten as they pressed together, skin against skin.
David's hands fumbled for Louis's belt buckle, but Louis stilled, catching David's wrist to stop his progress, though he didn't pull his hand away. David frowned as Louis pulled back, brows furrowed as he searched David's expression.
"David," Louis said, his thumb stroking David's wrist, "I want to be clear. Is this what you want?"
David nodded.
"And, to be sure we are on the same page—" Louis started.
"I want to sleep with you," David cut him off, voice breathless. "In the euphemistic sense."
Louis sucked in a breath and released his hand so he could reel David in for another kiss. David groaned into his mouth, hands forgetting their task, but Louis was not as distractible. His fingers deftly worked open his own belt and then David's even as he continued pressing teasing kisses to David's mouth.
As soon as his belt was undone, David shimmied out of his pants and briefs, kicking his loafers and socks off with them. Louis was wearing Oxford's and had to put a little more effort into disrobing the rest of the way. David leaned back against the media console to watch as Louis sat down on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes.
There was something a little thrilling about being there completely naked as Louis finished undressing, especially when Louis kept giving him heated looks every time he looked up. David swallowed hard as Louis stood again, and stripped out of his charcoal gray trousers.
David felt a little shy again as he looked at Louis, bared before him. Every inch of him was gorgeous. David had never thought that about someone's dick before, but Louis's was definitely gorgeous, too. He was half hard already and David wondered what it would feel like in his hand.
Louis let him look his fill until David's eyes slowly moved up to meet his, then he stepped forward again. David stood, his stomach starting to tighten with something approaching anxiety.
"David," Louis said, opening his arms again. David let out a shaky breath and stepped into his embrace. Louis's hands pressed flat into his back, pulling him in until he was plastered up against Louis's body. David's breath stuttered and Louis soothed his hands over his back, then up to cradle his jaw.
This kiss was softer, more tender. Louis sucked and bit at his lip, teasingly light until David relaxed into him, chasing the sensations. One of Louis's hands stroked down his body until it was pressed to the small of his back. Louis shifted his hips against David's making him gasp.
The hard length of Louis's dick pressed against David's as he shifted his hips again. The pressure and friction was making David hard, too. It was even better when Louis's hand came to rest on David's ass, pulling him harder against him.
"Lou—Louis," David stuttered, clutching at Louis's head as he kissed down the side of his neck.
"Hm?" Louis prompted, the sound vibrating through Louis's chest where David's hands gripped his ribs.
It took David a moment to straighten his thoughts. "Louis, I—" he swallowed, then pressed his forehead into Louis's neck to ground himself, just breathing for a minute. "I've never done this before," he admitted. "I'm not sure..." He trailed off, leaning back to search Louis's face.
Louis hummed, pressing lingering kisses over each of David's features until David thought he'd explode with the sweetness of it.
"That's fine," he said, curling a hand over David's ear and stroking his hair. "Do you know what you want to try?"
David shook his head. "Can you just... show me?"
Louis considered for a moment but nodded. He pulled back from David and took his hand, leading him toward the bed.
"I don't have any condoms or... anything," David admitted, flushing.
Louis shrugged and gently pushed David onto the bed. He pulled David onto his side and sprawled in front of him, hand running over his side and then the curve of his ass, giving a slight squeeze.
David considered stopping him. He wasn’t very versed on sex in general, but he was pretty sure it was common sense that anal sex without a condom—let alone lube—was less than ideal. And David definitely didn’t possess either of those things.
"There are other things we can do," Louis said, tone amused. "I don't typically carry condoms with me, either."
It was a surprise to realize that David was a little disappointed by that. They were lying close enough that David could feel the heat of Louis's body. Louis was looking at him, touching him, like he wanted David. For the first time in his life, David wanted that, too. He wanted every part of Louis so badly that it made his chest ache.
“I’m clean, though. I’ve been tested since my last relationship.”
David gave a shaky nod, feeling out of his depth and still hungry for whatever Louis had in mind.
"So, what other things are we doing?" David asked.
Louis's lip quirked up into a smile that immediately drew David's eyes.
"I'd like to touch you and grind against you," Louis said. "I'd like to blow you, too."
David's face flamed. "No, you can't do that!" David said, a little more loudly than he meant to. Louis frowned, looking a little disappointed before David explained. "I haven't showered since this morning and I'm all sweaty and gross. So not that." David threw an arm over his face in embarrassment and Louis chuckled.
Louis carefully peeled David's arm from his face and leaned in to nibble at his ear. "All right, not that," he said. "But touching?"
"Mmm," David moaned as Louis sucked at the base of his jaw. "Yeah, yeah, touching...." He lost his train of thought again as Louis shifted closer to him, pressing David onto his back and settling half on top of him.
Louis's thigh pressed up snugly against David's groin and there was a moment of uncertainty, David's body freezing without his permission. Louis pulled back a fraction of an inch.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, though David could feel his dick pressing hard and insistent against David's hip.
David shook his head. "No, keep going," he said, hands moving down to grip Louis's sides and then his ass, just because he could. That made Louis hiss in a breath, his hips giving a sharp little jolt that made heat coil in David's belly. He did it again, liking the results.
"Kiss me more," David prompted.
Louis's stubble rasped against his own as they kissed, his mouth hot and demanding against David’s. He never knew kissing could feel like this before Louis. He had never wanted to kiss someone forever before, but he didn’t think he’d ever get tired of kissing Louis.
"I want more of you," David said, not quite sure how to explain. He tugged at Louis's arm, trying to slide himself further underneath Louis's body.
Louis shifted a little, but seemed hesitant to put his weight fully on top of David.
"More," David insisted, "I want you on top."
"Demanding," Louis mused, but slid over David until he could feel the weight of his entire body pressing him into the mattress. He settled his elbows on either side of David's head and looked down at him with a quirked eyebrow.
"Yeah, that," David groaned out, tilting his head up for a kiss.
Louis didn’t need any more prompting than that. David wasn’t sure exactly what happened next, because their lips were pressed together again which seemed to strip him of all brainpower.
Louis somehow slotted their hips together in a way that aligned their dicks just right. He ground down against David and David found himself canting his hips upward to match, his heels digging into the mattress for better purchase.
Louis continued thrusting against him at an even pace until David was fully hard. He caught Louis's hips again, trying to pull him down more firmly over him. This was good, but it wasn't enough.
"Louis," David said, begged, really. He still needed more, even if he wasn't sure exactly how to get it.
When a big hand slid down between them, gripping both of their dicks together, David thought he might pass out from the intensity of the sensation.
David let out a strangled noise against Louis's lips, then pulled away, panting. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold himself back. David's hands ran frantically over every part of Louis that he could reach.
“Wait, Louis—” David groaned, biting his lip hard enough to hurt—hard enough to pull him back from the edge. This was all too much. “If you keep going— Fuck. I’m going to—” He couldn’t seem to string together a coherent sentence as pressure built in his dick, his stomach tightening in anticipation of release.
“Good,” Louis rumbled into his ear, warm hand quickening the pace. David bucked up against him. He had never felt anything like this in his life. The pressure built to a peak and then exploded. David gave a very undignified cry that probably announced to the neighbors what was going on in here. Right now, though, he really didn’t care.
“You’re so beautiful,” Louis muttered, kissing and biting at David’s neck as he continued thrusting against him. The sensation continued to build until it was almost painful and then he felt Louis tense over him, another wave of heat spilling between them as he came.
An eternity seemed to pass in the instant before he collapsed on top of David. He stayed there for one precious moment before rolling over onto his side. David grumbled an incoherent complaint at the loss of contact.
David could feel the press of sleep beckoning as his body lay lax and sated, but his eyes were too focused on the way Louis looked. His hair was messed up from David’s hands and there were stubble burns across his chin that probably matched the ones David could feel against his own jaw.
He reached out a hand and traced it over Louis's nose and lips, unable to stop the smile that spread across his face. Louis caught his hand and pressed a kiss to the tip of his finger. David's heart squeezed.
This was more than he'd ever imagined—more than he ever could have dreamed. It was as close to perfect as it was probably possible to get and David had no idea what he was supposed to be feeling right now, but what he was feeling was everything.
Was this supposed to be experimentation? Was he supposed to wake up tomorrow and realize this was all casual? Or was he supposed to want this every day from now on—to want Louis from now on?
Because, right now, all David knew was that his heart felt like it would explode from the strength of the love he felt for Louis.
Louis's hand followed David's as he traced the sharp line of Louis's jaw, then smoothed his fingers over a thick eyebrow. Dark eyes were locked on his when his gaze finally settled.
“Thank you,” Louis muttered, pressing David's palm to his lips. David gave a tiny smile.
“For what?” he asked. It seemed a little cliché to be thanking him for sex. Louis was the one who always complained about corny dialogue.
Luckily for him, though, David liked corny dialogue.
“For being here," he said, his voice so soft it was nearly a whisper. "For being with me. Just, for being you.” Louis gave a little shrug and David’s heart fluttered. He leaned over to deposit a tender kiss to Louis's eyebrow. His nose. His cheek. And, finally, his lips.
Louis seemed almost to get bashful after that, and he pulled David tight against him, burying his face in David's neck. David hummed contentedly and stroked his fingers through Louis's hair.
They lay there for a few long moments, before David pulled away.
“This is great and all, but I really am gross and covered in airport and jizz. I think we should shower before we go to bed.”
Louis's face did a strange dance like he was trying not to smile, before he let out a chuckle that turned into a full blown laugh. David sat up and smacked him lightly on the arm. Louis kept laughing until David couldn’t help but join him.
“Fine, let’s shower,” Louis gasped when they could breathe again. “Wouldn’t want you to get airport all over the sheets. What would Mrs. Hamish think?”
David stuck his tongue out and climbed off the bed, pulling Louis toward the bathroom.
Showering together, he thought, was actually a lot less romantic and sexy than it looked in movies. The stream of water was not that big, so one of them was perpetually half out of the shower, freezing their butt off against the tiles. Still, they managed to wash up well enough to suit, before getting back out.
“Are you staying?” David asked as he rifled through his drawers, tossing Louis a pair of red sweat pants.
David couldn’t help but watch as Louis pulled them on, noticing that he didn’t bother to put his underwear back on. That was an oddly pleasing thought, though David didn’t really understand why. Louis wearing his clothing was just nice. Like laying claim to him somehow. David suddenly flushed, wondering if this was how Louis felt when David had worn his shirt.
“Do you want me to stay?” Louis asked after a long moment.
David tore his eyes away from Louis's body to meet his gaze. He no longer had that haunted look that he'd worn when David pulled him out of his car, but there was still an edge to his expression. David wanted to pull him back into the bed and cuddle him until he no longer had anything to worry about.
“Yes,” David said with a decisive nod. “I want you to stay.”
David didn’t think he was imagining the way Louis's shoulders relaxed. “Then, I’ll stay.”
"Good."
They turned down the bed after David had stripped off the sheet they’d just had sex on. Maybe he was a prude, but that was gross.
Louis just watched him with half a smile on his face, then climbed under the duvet when he'd finished. He patted the other side of the bed and David jumped back onto the surprisingly springy mattress, almost jostling Louis out of it. He laughed and settled down under the covers.
For some reason, this felt almost more awkward than having sex. He wasn't sure if Louis liked to cuddle and he wasn't sure if there was more he should say, either. Louis hadn’t complained the last time David had insisted on spooning, in fact he never complained when David got touchy, but he didn’t initiate it all that often, either. Sometimes David wondered if Louis was just humoring him, or if he was bothered by David’s desire for physical affection.
He felt like they should talk. About tonight. All of tonight. And everything else, too.
And he really wanted to cuddle, actually. It felt strange lying in bed and not cuddling.
He glanced over at Louis, then shifted on the bed a little. Louis's eyes were already closed. David chewed on his cheek. He should let him sleep.
When David fidgeted again, though, a strong arm wrapped around his middle and pulled him back against Louis's chest. David relaxed, pulling Louis's arm more securely around him. He liked the way he could feel Louis's heart against his back.
“Go to sleep,” Louis murmured. “We can talk in the morning.”
David nodded, suddenly feeling the exhaustion of the day catching up to him. He twined his fingers with Louis's and closed his eyes. There would be time tomorrow to think about all of the implications of sleeping with Louis and to figure out where they were going from here.
But, right now, it felt promising.