Getting into the music wasn’t hard for either of us, most of the favored bands in OW were actually some of the biggest bands in this dimension; it paid to have talent, some times. Dancing like fools and fitting in like it was normal felt so good, she had missed this kind of thing most days making tonight well worth the wait. Everything seemed to be going as well as it could possibly be, then suddenly the crowd started screaming and it was like a wave of overly excited howls traveling across the room. One-by- one we all noticed them, the Screaming Banshees. Live and in person, Kae had almost forgotten that they would be playing tonight and that that was why Sebastian had decided to take the risk of coming.
Sebastian felt close to fainting at the mere sight of Wolf, live and sexy as hell in person, but then even the snootiest of girls melted in his presence. “Do you see that?! He’s at least ten times as gorgeous in person!”
“Calm down Juliet or you might faint before you can see your Romeo perform.” Kae managed through the giggling, it was always like this for her because wherever Wolf was, Freddie was sure to be close behind. Her best friend was just too caught up in Wolf’s appearance to notice it was nervous laughter. It was at that exact moment that he came gliding into view, an almost imperceptible prowl to his gait, just as sullen as always but it didn’t matter because to her he appeared like a smiling sun. Even after all the gaslighting, cheating, and hot then cold love bombing she had lived through, she still couldn’t help feeling her heart melt for the man he would pretend to be with her.
The people that are eloquent enough to tell you how it feels to be pulled back in time and simultaneously inside oneself have my empathy because to explain how she was doing right that moment felt impossible. No special effects, no quirky and emotionally relatable music played to help ease me into this sudden introspection. Crowd noises blurred together into a static white noise and there she was, a freshman in high school, riding the high of an I don’t give a fuck day.
~~~
Dorchester high was inside one of the more creatively shaped ancient buildings that the town loved to call historic but never seemed capable of maintaining as historical monuments. The basement alone spoke volumes to how they might have updated it to be used as a school, the floor first and foremost since it was uneven anywhere that was within its original foundations. Why is that important because we are horribly uncoordinated but theatrically “graceful” when falling is unavoidable.
Just one of the more hectic days of I don’t give a fuck mania and this ones been fueled by Kae’s lack of time management skills and breakfast. Feeling like she could care less what anyone else fucking thought let alone had to say for today was a hard mood, but a mood none the less. Hangry felt like she needed everyone to know she was unhappy, but she couldn’t care less if they acknowledged her or not; and if they did she’d fuck around, and find out later. So she was overly animated and boisterous as she moved across the uneven, cement floors and not paying attention to her feet to avoid the dip in the hard surface that obviously, had not conveniently filled itself in.
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As if she wasn’t already loud enough as she idly chatted with her best, best-friend Crystal, the sudden dip caught her unaware forcing a surprised squeal from her throat. “Ah!”
The teacher on line babysitting duty happened top be the best worst option, Puffin was the coolest English teacher she’d ever dealt with but he had some obvious pet peeves. One of which seemed to be loud noises and particularly ones that were unnecessary or out of place a.k.a. my sudden ear-splitting shriek. Cornelius Puffin was great with his class curriculum but in this situation he was not, Mr. Puffin preferred spending his lunch hour in his silent classroom.
“That’s enough, Kaeri Rowan! Back of the line.” Mr. Puffin spoke in a commanding tone, having come around the corner he didn’t know anything about what happened but by then he had figured out that separating me from Crystal was a quick way to make me quiet down. Kae could still feel the heat around her ears when this part of the memory played, all the childish punishments she’d endured. It was always the same, teachers and their “solutions,” first they make you the center of attention and then they put you on blast so everyone else can laugh at you for getting in trouble.
Crystal didn’t care about eating lunch most days and would either give it to me or take it because she couldn’t stand being dizzy all day, so once Puffin disappeared back towards the cafeteria, she joined me at the end of the line. It didn’t take long though before there was more yelling from Mr. Puffin and a goofy, cute boy with a deep angry voice and adorable laugh was suddenly walking towards us and the end of the line. It was the first time meeting Jacob and soon she would stuck hanging on his every move, enthralled and in what she thought was love.
“I don’t recognize you, are you a new freshman?” Kaeri asked the Adonis as he settled against the metal lockers lining this section of the hallway. “You have to watch out for that one if you don’t want to be made to wait until the end when there’s not much left to choose from.”
She’d no sooner reached the part she wished over and over again hadn’t happened when she was shaken back to her senses, the crowds of people, light show effects, and music came rushing back to her leaving the girl overwhelmed. As if it wasn’t already too much for her to handle she realized where she was. In all the cacophony she had squatted down and curled around her legs, surrounded by bodies she didn’t know and her one best friend here in Dorchester.
A moment she had played over to herself so many times that she was convinced if she had just been quiet like everyone else she never would have been used and thrown away so many times. What mattered most was that she was now embarrassing herself and her friend in a huge crowd of people, just from the sight of the boy she thought was The One first.