"Do you come to the lounges often?" Apollonia asked her, putting her elbows on the table and leaning forward. She found herself doubting it; people in here seemed to be loosening up a lot; she saw officers of the ship laughing it up, some were even dancing in an open area.

Jaya didn't look anymore the dancing type than Dr. Y.

But then, what did she know?

"No," Jaya said. "Occasionally, but not often. I came here today to find you, actually."

"Ah," Apollonia replied unenthusiastically, finishing the last of her watery drink. She thought about asking Jaya if she'd order her another, but decided not to push it. An officer on the ship she trusted slightly more, but the real question was how much of a stickler for the rules the woman was.

"I wish to know if you have decided whether to accept commission aboard the ship yet," Jaya continued.

"Dunno," Apollonia replied, looking into her empty cup.

"It is something you should be giving a lot of attention to," Jaya pushed.

"Let me ask you, Commander - if I was under your command, what would you order me to do? Everyone else has been stressing how little they will demand of me, but you - you seem the type to demand. So what would it be?"

Jaya chuckled. "My, you do have a good read of me, Ms. Nor. But yes, I do have an idea; I would order you to go back onto the Chain. That is what you wished to know, I presume?"

"Yeah," Apollonia replied. "But you don't know what it's like to do that."

"No, I do not," Jaya responded. "But were you under my command, I would order you anyway. Because there is a very good reason for such an order to be given."

Apollonia grimaced, slowly leaning back in her seat. "I have an idea."

"Then you understand why it matters."

"I don't think it'll do any good," she replied. "It's just torture. Walking into a field of rusty bayonets. Do you really need me on the other side?"

Jaya studied Apollonia carefully, taking in the details of the woman. Sizing her up. "Quite possibly. But let me ask you, Ms. Nor - do you know why those very disturbing medical cases are in the Chain?"

"I was told about the battle," Apollonia replied. "A lot of people died."

"Yes. People die in the line of duty, and they do so willingly. Do you know why?"

"I'm not an officer," Apollonia replied. "I don't mean to be callous, but I don't understand why they do it, no. I really can't understand it at all."

She waved across the room. "I came out here hoping to see a reason. Everything looks great here. It's so suspiciously nice that I just can't make myself believe it. Is there something in the water, I keep wondering? But I don't see it. I just see everyone living their lives, doing their jobs like they don't have a care in the universe. I wish I could feel that, but I don't. I look around, and even though everything looks great I can't make myself care. I literally can't."

"The best officer I ever knew died in the line of duty," Jaya said, out of the blue. "He was the Chief of Engineering on a ship that suffered a catastrophic failure of its zerodrive while in zerospace. Despite a radiation leak in the affected section, he entered and solved the problem in time to save the ship."

Apollonia sat up straighter, putting her glass down on the table.

"When the Captain of his vessel gave him the order, this young officer went off without hesitation. Some reports even say he was smiling, and I think it might be true. I can tell you why he did it. Would you like to know?"

"Yes," Apollonia replied. Her mouth felt dry.

"Because he was the one who could. For years after I learned of what happened I hated that this brave young officer was ordered to his death. But eventually, I understood; this young man did not want to die. He would have fought with all his might to live, were it only affecting him. But in this case, he calmly walked to his death because he knew no one else could save the five thousand crew members of his vessel. His Captain made the correct choice when he chose him for the task. It was not an easy choice to make."

Jaya stared at her, and Apollonia felt small. She looked down into her glass to avoid the other woman's eyes.

"Sounds like a real good guy," she replied weakly.

"If you were under my command, I would order you onto the vessel because we have a situation and you may be the only one who can do something about it. I do not know that - I only suspect. Likewise, you do not know if you will be truly harmed by going in. There are many things we do not know, and right now we need to know."

"So I should be happy to sacrifice myself for everyone else," Apollonia replied. "It sounds nice. Really poetic - be a hero. But I don't know that I am a hero, Jaya."

"The question is not if you think you are willing to sacrifice, Ms. Nor. The question is 'what kind of person do you want to be?' We all die. We do not always get to choose how. When that officer on the ship walked to his death smiling, I believe he was smiling because he knew he had chosen his fate. He had been given the power of choosing how he faced death, and he chose a way that was meaningful to him."

Jaya finished speaking and took a deep breath. Taking her drink, she knocked it back and then put the glass down on the table.

"You have a choice, Ms. Nor. It is your choice, and it is an important one. I hope that by tomorrow morning you will inform me that you have made a decision."

Apollonia watched the other woman as she stood. As she walked away, Apollonia called out to her.

"Commander Yaepanaya," she said. "Who was that officer to you?"

Jaya stopped and looked back at her calmly.

"He was my brother."

*******

"Verena, come in," Zach said.

"I apologize for being late," Verena said. Zach tried to look past her flat tone and just accept the meaning he knew it had.

But she was almost an hour late. That was too long for children to wait, and they'd started eating a half hour earlier.

Now, as they were enjoying dessert, Verena finally sat down.

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Urle had hardly eaten, his food just moved around on its plate. Verena took a bite of her chicken, making no comment on it.

"It is good to see you, girls," she said.

"Hi, mom!" Persis said.

"Hi, mom," Hannah echoed, with much less energy. Her sweet pickles sat on her plate, and she poked at them.

"Go ahead and finish your dessert," Zach told them. "Your mom and I have something exciting to tell you."

"Ooh, what is it?" Persis asked, grinning.

Hannah looked alarmed. Her eyes went from her father to her mother and back, but she said nothing.

"Let's not spoil it right away," Verena said. "First I have some presents for you girls. And then I would like to hear about how you've been and what you've been up to."

"Yay, presents!" Persis said, hopping up and running over.

"Don't forget to finish your- ah, it's fine," Zach said. They'd eaten dinner already. Getting them to finish everything was always a challenge, but since Verena had been coming he'd picked things he knew they loved the most. It had worked for Persis, but Hannah had been moody all evening.

The gifts Verena gave them were pendants of dolphins - the girls had always loved them, and wanted to see them in person.

"Thanks so much!" Persis said. Hannah said nothing until Persis elbowed her.

"Ah - thanks mom," she said.

Urle tried to hide his concern. His eldest daughter had been in a funk since she'd learned they were coming here.

It was hard to blame her. She'd been five when Verena had been changed, old enough to remember it - at least somewhat. And her mother going missing for months had definitely been an ordeal for her.

Even after they'd met her again - Verena had barely reacted to them.

She had changed a lot since then, he thought. Now she was reacting to the girls in every way she should - albeit flatly. That was at least better than at first.

"This is my Tedian Moon Fluff, her name is Penelope," Persis said, holding the little fake pet.

"Ah, I see. I have not heard of those," Verena admitted. "Is it actually alive?"

"No. It's just a machine but I still think it likes me," Persis said. "I mean, machines can be people too, right? Like Dr. Y."

"That is true, but this is not as advanced as Dr. Y," Verena told her. "It seems cleaner than a hamster, though, so I am glad."

She looked to Hannah. "Do you have a Moon Fluff as well?"

"Yes," Hannah replied.

"What did you name yours?" Verena asked.

"I named him Genocide," Hannah said, still poking at her pickles.

Zach sputtered and nearly choked on his food. "Hannah! You did not name it genocide!"

"I did!" Hannah snapped.

"That's a horrible name," he replied. "Why would you do that?"

"Because everything is horrible!" she yelled, jumping up. "You said mom was here, but that's not mom! She's as real as the moon fluff - just a weird thing that looks like it's alive!"

Zach was too shocked for words. He looked to Verena - and saw that she was looking at Hannah as if she was an interesting experiment instead of her daughter having a meltdown.

"Go to your room," Verena said calmly. "And let out your emotions in there if you need to, Hannah. Your father and I will be out here."

"I hate you! You're nothing to me!" Hannah yelled. She ran towards her room, a loud sob coming from her as she disappeared.

Zach rose to his feet swiftly, but Verena grabbed his wrist.

"Let her calm down for a time," she suggested, before looking down to Persis. "Are you okay?" she asked her youngest daughter.

The girl nodded. "I think I'll go to my room, too," she said softly.

After she was gone, Zach slumped into his seat. "That could have gone better," he muttered. "We didn't even get to bring up your idea . . ."

"I am not surprised. Children are emotional. I know it is unfair, but I believe it would be better if you spoke to her after this. I do not feel that she will be willing to open up to me," Verena replied calmly.

And Zach knew that Verena probably had no idea what she should say, either. He nodded. "I'll do that."

"Before I go, there is something else important I need to ask you about," Verena continued. She reached into her bag and took out a pad.

"Tell me what you know about the Shoggoth Ambassador."

Zach sat up. "What?"

"Kell, it is called. I understand you've interacted with it on numerous occasions. I'd like to know more about it," Verena said.

"You want to talk about Kell?" Zach grunted. "Verena, I'm not sure this is the time to-"

"I know that emotions are high - surely for you as well. But I need to know more - this is important, Zachariah."

Urle stared at his ex-wife for a long moment. The woman still seemed completely calm and collected.

"What do you want to know?" he asked wearily.

"What does the ambassador tell you about its past?"

"Nothing," Urle said. "We're not close, Verena. He's spoken to me a few times and I've spoken to him. I'm not particularly comfortable around him." He paused. "Though that has been getting better recently."

"Yes, I understand 'Shoggoth Shock' is very common - some say universal. However - I did not have that reaction," she told him.

"Okay. Well, I've actually seen that before," he said. "The girls never seemed bothered by him. They've even met him up close and they were . . . well, they seemed just very curious about him."

Verena leaned forward pensively. "The girls? Has anyone else had such a mild reaction?"

"Not that I can think of," Urle replied.

She thought for a moment. "Zach, whose body is he using?"

"What do you mean?"

"His form - it is a very detailed recreation of a human. Is it a specific person? If so, who?"

"I . . . don't know, to be honest," Zach replied. He'd never thought about it before. "Why?"

Verena studied his face, hesitating a moment. It made Zach uncomfortable in a strange way; the woman no longer felt any nervousness, so why was she waiting?

"When I met the Shoggoth for the first time, I felt that I had met it before," she said. "I did a search to see if I could match its form to anyone I have met - it occurred to me it might take a shape familiar to strangers. But my searches turned up nothing."

"Then perhaps he just invented a person," Urle suggested.

"If so, then its ability to mimic the human form is so much better than we anticipated. His body displays healed scars, small asymmetry at a deep level, and even puts out the chemical signals of early osteoporosis. Why would it go through so much trouble to recreate these signs?"

Urle hesitated. "Dr. Cenz has reported before that he even has a full organ system. It's . . . mysterious, but I've never questioned it deeply."

"I am," Verena replied. "Zach, there is a situation on the station. I cannot go into details, but I am concerned that it may . . . escalate."

Zach felt the back of his neck prickle. "What do you mean?"

"I cannot tell you details. But I must inform you that there is the potential of a threat. I do not know how large. If it was large enough, I cannot guarantee it will not endanger this station."

"Do you and the Captain have it under control?" he asked.

"No," she replied.

"How can I help?"

"By promising me something, Zachariah. Promise me that if I tell you to take the Craton and flee you will do it. You will not attempt a rescue of anyone on the station. Just take yourself and our children - and flee far away."

Zach slumped back in his seat. He was quiet a long time. "Like at Terris," he said.

He could see her eyes darting back and forth. He knew that her body still sometimes acted in an excited state; adrenaline pumping, heart rate up. But she could feel nothing all the same. Her body still knew even if her mind didn't.

"Like at Terris, my priority is for my family to be safe," she said. "You did the right thing then. If it comes to it, Zach - do the right thing again."

Zach closed his eyes, tipping his head forward.

"I promise, Verena. For the girls, I promise."