His stomach felt tied in knots as he signaled his arrival.

Standing outside the door of Verena's cabin, Urle wished that he could numb himself to the emotions that coursed through him.

It was a terrible thought to have, precisely because it was how Verena actually suffered. But all the same, it hurt so much to see her again. It never stopped hurting, but most of the time the pain had grown to such a dull thing in the background that he'd learned to cope.

Right now he was struggling.

"Enter," he heard through the comm as the door opened smoothly for him.

He stepped in, his eyes sweeping the room for signs of life. Life beyond the basic functions.

Back in the day, Verena had been . . . tidy, but she'd loved to keep things. Mementos, old paper books, even some things that she just collected.

God, she'd had a massive collection of weird little kitschy sculptures from the Moon that he'd thought so ugly . . .

Her room now was almost bare. There were no books, no memorbilia, and certainly no collectible moon sculptures.

"Verena," he said, his eyes falling upon her. She sat on a couch, a pad on her lap. She was looking at him, her expression - of course - neutral.

"It is good to see you Zach," she said. It was a stretch to say it felt like she meant it. They were only the words she knew to be appropriate.

"Same for you," he lied. A half-lie, at least. He was happy to see her on some level.

"I am glad you came. I considered if it might be best if you did not," she said.

That felt like a stab in his gut, but he pushed past it. "Why is that?"

She stared at him as if he'd said something surprising. "I am not going to be different than the last time we spoke. I know that it was difficult for you. But you still wish to try to communicate, and that is a brave thing, Zachariah."

Since her change she'd been capable of lying all-but perfectly. No biophysical changes at telling a falsehood. He hoped she was being truthful.

"You said you wanted to talk to me," he said.

"But that you were free to refuse," she replied. "However, as I said, it is good you have come. There is something important I wish to discuss - but first, I would like to know how you are doing."

Zach realized he was still standing awkwardly. "Mind if I sit?"

"Of course not."

He did so, still feeling on-edge. She still looked the same; just colder. Like a replica of the woman he'd loved.

"I think you know how I'm doing," he replied. "You probably read my file. I haven't had any major injuries."

"Yes, but I believe I would like to hear from you how you are doing - not just physically, but emotionally." Her words were so cold that had he not known better it would have felt mocking.

"All right," he said.

"Your psych records suggests you are still grieving, Zach," she said.

"Have you looked at all my files?" he asked.

"I requested permission, but was unable to view them as it was private. However, I did not need to read them, only see that they did in fact exist to confirm that you were grieving."

"You saw the file sizes," he realized. "That was all you needed to see to know."

"Yes," she replied. "I apologize for even this minor invasion of your privacy - but I had hoped you could have moved on by now." Something went across her face - a change from neutral to troubled concentration. "I have been informed it was unlikely for you to have left behind your emotional . . . baggage regarding me."

His emotions must have shown, because when she looked at him she spoke again quickly. "I do not mean to be blithe about it, Zach. I only wish the best for you. I can no longer understand what it is you feel, but I do not wish for you to suffer."

Zach found his throat was dry, and he tried to come up with words, but failed. He just nodded.

He felt sure she meant all of it.

"Have you continued on your path towards leaving behind your biological body?" she asked.

"My transhumanism? Well, I wouldn't say I want to fully stop being biological. But I've had only a couple of augments over the last few years. I've been busy - with the girls, with my duties. It doesn't leave a lot of time for getting surgeries."

She was studying his face. "I do not recognize your current facial pieces. I imagine just new attachments?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Remove them, would you?" she asked, leaning forward. She took the pad and set it on a small table.

"Why?" he asked. Nevertheless, he moved to oblige her request, disconnecting the external pieces and popping them off.

By the time he was done, he knew he looked more like a mere man than almost anyone had seen of him in years. Connectors built into his skull still showed a hint of his truth, but his eyes, his nose, his lips - all of it was visible.

"I recall your eyes being much more blue," she replied.

"I haven't changed those," he told her.

"Perhaps I was mistaken," she said. Her voice was softer, and he saw that she was trying.

Her hand came up, reaching for his face. She cupped his cheek in her hand, and he felt the warmth of her skin.

The last time she'd done that had been before he'd left the Kilimanjaro, over seven years ago. They hadn't known how serious a goodbye they'd be saying at that time - neither of them had known yet that the Terris system was in danger, that their ship would be sent. That she wouldn't be returning whole.

"What do you feel?" he asked.

"Only your skin," she replied. She couldn't feel enough to even know how sad she should be, he knew. But she had told him before she could remember that she should feel the loss.

Her hand slid away from his face, and the air of the room felt cold where she had touched him.

She looked away as he put back on his attachments, hiding his face again.

"It is not fair to you, Zach, that you should have to raise our daughters alone," she said.

"We agreed it was for the best," he replied. "They . . . did not react well to you after your changes. We feared it would lead to more problems."

"I have wondered since if we were wrong," she replied. "Even if I can't feel anything, I can at least be there. I would be someone to assist when you are busy."

Zach didn't know what to say to that. It was true that having someone else to help would be good, but . . .

Her? After all this time? When there was nothing, literally no love left? Coming from one side it meant nothing, less than nothing. Love had to be reciprocated to be worth anything.

"I don't know," he finally said. "Verena, I . . ."

"Don't make a decision right now," she said. "I know it is a sudden idea. But it's something I wanted to tell you in person. I wanted to show you that even though I don't feel anything, I am trying to learn how to . . . for lack of a better word, behave as if I do."

That sent him into more of a spiral. Had she even been trying to accomplish anything when she'd touched his face? Or just make him think she was?

"I would like you to think about it, is all. For the good of Hannah and Persis. I know it will be difficult in the short term, very difficult - but it may also be a very good move for everyone."

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

"Are you sure you would have the time? And . . . how would it work? You're running the medical wing of this station. You must be busy all the time."

"I am busy," she replied. "But besides my work . . . I have nothing." She gestured around her room. "As you can see."

"Why do you want this?" he asked.

"It isn't about me, Zach," she told him. "It's about you - I am the one who suffered this damage, but you have also suffered, along with our children. I have dedicated my life to helping others, that has never shaken within me. I do not know where the drive still comes from, but I follow it because it is the only guide I have left. I feel I have reached a balance with my condition - so perhaps now it is time that I help you find that balance as well."

Zach looked away. "I'll think about it," he said. It came out rougher than he expected.

"All right. In the meantime, let us have a dinner with the children. As a family."

Zach nodded. "I'll talk to them about it, Verena. I can't promise that they'll want to, but I'll tell them."

"Perhaps," Verena suggested. "We could tell them together."

*******

Urle's presence was keenly missed. Brooks wished he could have his view on the situation they presently found themselves in.

But he was not cleared to be bringing Urle into the decision-making, and he wold not bring the man back on-duty before he was ready. He needed time to cope and to talk with Verena. Their separation years ago had been devastating for both him and his children.

So now it was Dr. Y who stood in his office with him, waiting for Brooks to speak. Along with Arn Logus.

Brooks had not spoken yet, because he had not yet figured out why Dr. Logus was here as well. He was not looking to the man, only to Y.

"I was under the impression that we were not to tell anyone outside of our meeting of this," Brooks said to Y, breaking the stillness of the room.

The psychiatrist watched him, but said nothing.

"I can assure you, Captain," Y said, "that Dr. Urle will accept his presence. And given our current circumstances, I believed it was best to get as many minds working as possible."

"Why?" Brooks demanded with a frown. But before Y could answer, the Captain looked to Logus. "Have you been in communication with Verena?"

"Yes, Captain," Logus replied.

"Why?" Brooks demanded.

Logus stared back at him in silence. The tension thickened, and Brooks felt a fleeting anger rise up in him.

Logus spoke. "Dr. Urle contacted me - about you, Captain. She wished to know my psychological evaluation before she spoke to you about Michal Denso. And yes, Captain, she informed me of the details - and has updated me with the events of earlier today."

Brooks leaned back in his chair, taking that in.

"What was the nature of the information you gave her about me?" he asked.

"I am not at liberty to tell you, Captain."

"Surely Verena had specific questions. She wasn't just trying to learn what kind of man I am, Logus, she knew me for years. She served under me, and I know that her memories are fully intact."

"Captain - I am ordering you to drop this line of questioning," Logus said.

Brooks's face went still. Dangerously so. He leaned forward, but said nothing.

"I out-rank you, Captain," Logus said. "You command the ship, and I cannot question it, but my rank is equivalent to a-"

"I know what your rank is," Brooks answered coldly. "Do you think I am asking you because of my pride, Doctor? Because I want to know what is being whispered about me behind my back?"

"I would not presume to-"

"I am asking, Doctor, because what you have told her will affect what I am able to do going forward. If you will not tell me - so be it. But you are only making a dangerous situation more difficult."

"With respects, Captain, while Denso's fate is no minor matter, it does not seem to be excessively dangerous," Logus replied.

Dr. Y spoke. "I somewhat agree, Captain. Is there a reason you feel this is such an urgent matter beyond the obvious?"

"Yes," Brooks replied. "After what has occurred, I am convinced that this is a matter that extends beyond the scope of Michal Denso's life alone."

"May I ask your reasoning, Captain?" Y queried.

He nodded. "Firstly, Apollonia Nor's reaction. This is a woman who is not afraid to die - she was seriously considering being executed over coming with us. She also met Kell, and had no significant reaction to his presence, at least not comparable to what occurred when she first boarded the Chain."

"She's a Cerebral Reader," Logus said. "She may simply have felt the suffering of the most afflicted on this station. Similar things have happened before."

"And even more dramatic occurrences happen when a CR encounters a Leviathan unprepared," Brooks replied. "They may protect others with their mere presence, but they are more vulnerable. And her reaction? It struck me as this, not simply sensing suffering."

Logus sat back, frowning and saying no more.

Dr. Y's head tilted to the side, quizzically. "That seems a significant jump in logic, Captain. Is there more?"

"I have also spoken to Ambassador Kell following the incident. I will duly inform Verena of what transpired, but it was the Ambassador's words that made me put it together. He said that Denso has been reborn, and that the home he wishes to return to is the Terris system."

Dr. Y recoiled. "Are you saying, Captain, that you believe Michal Denso is becoming a Leviathan?"

"I can't be sure, not on what I know. But I think that it is a real possibility. We know nothing about their life-cycles, reproduction. For all we know, this is how Leviathans create more of their kind. And if that is the case here, that Denso is . . . becoming a young one of their kind, then he is a threat to the entirety of the Chain and this ship."

"There has never been a case like this-" Logus began.

"That we know of," Brooks commented.

"We cannot start treating Michal Denso as a threat!" the psychiatrist insisted.

"I do not intend to do that until I know more. But we must learn more - hopefully in order to rule it out. We have to know what is going on at Terris," Brooks said.

Y spoke. "I do not believe that the Terris Observation Authority will share its data with us in a timely fashion, Captain. All observations and data collected from the system are carefully filtered before dissemination can occur. Even I am not allowed to-"

"I know," Brooks replied, cutting the doctor off. "But I do not plan to ask the TOA." He turned his seat, looking at the backdrop of stars behind him. "I plan to send a mission to the Terris system so we can see for ourselves."

"Captain!" Logus burst out, standing. "You cannot be serious!"

"I have chosen Response Team One for the task," Brooks continued.

Logus calmed himself. "This cannot be an option, Captain. There are rules and regulations about this-"

"We don't have time for that," Brooks replied quietly. "And while you may outrank me, Dr. Logus, you are not privy to the same directives I am."

He turned his chair around. "I am enacting Emergency Action Command 1 to authorize this mission."

Logus was silent, confusion skirting across his face.

Dr. Y spoke. "Under Emergency Action Command 1, Captain Brooks is entitled to take whatever action he deems necessary, short of starting a war, to ensure the continued safety of a population numbering over 100 million."

"On behalf of The Chain?" Logus asked, horror on his face. "Are you going to even consult with Admiral-Doctor Urle on this?"

"No," Brooks said. "She lacks the trained personnel to launch such an expedition - we are uniquely suited, and thus I am making the decision myself."

"Uniquely suited? What does that even mean, Captain?" Logus demanded.

Brooks regarded him, anger now on his face. "You do not get to question the Captain of this vessel in this manner, Doctor."

"I still have medical override authorization for any mission I deem to be psychologically unsafe, Captain," Logus challenged him back. "And when it comes to a mission to Terris, it absolutely falls within my purview."

Brooks's face had gone stony, hiding the anger that still simmered under the surface. "Response Team One has significant experience in hazardous contact with altered areas. I can think of few I would trust more with such a task."

"You mean they've been victimized almost as often as you have by having to encounter Leviathan-altered space! Captain, that does not make people more qualified, it puts them at greater psychological risk-"

"They are all volunteers, Doctor. They know they risk their lives, and I do not send them into harm's way without a very good reason. We need to know if something has changed around Terris - we must get a handle on the Denso situation before it escalates to something that threatens the entire Chain."

"You can't," Logus said. "I move to object on medical safety grounds."

"As part of of Emergency Action Command 1, it takes at least two medical officers of Commander rank or higher to countermand an order." Brooks looked to Dr. Y. "Doctor, how do you vote?"

Logus likewise looked to the machine. "You can't allow this, Y. You know this is madness."

Brooks had never seen the AI look so uncomfortable; his face had no ability to express emotion, and yet his head moved with small, swift jerks to look between them.

He felt bad for putting the doctor into such a situation, but at the same time; Dr. Y was relatively new to the Craton. And as much as Brooks admired and appreciated the Ehni doctor, he did not know how much he could trust him.

Best to find out now.

The machine's head moved from Logus to Brooks and stopped. "Use of this directive is extremely difficult to defend if questioned, Captain. Are you certain you wish to do this?"

"I am," Brooks replied calmly.

Y replied promptly. "Then I have no objections, Captain. In this matter, I trust your judgment."

"Then the mission goes forward," Brooks said. "It will depart in two hours."

"Captain, at least give them longer to prepare," Logus said.

"You have no more say in this, Doctor," Brooks snapped back. "Your objections are noted, considered, and rejected. The mission will leave in two hours because time is of the essence."

Logus's face had returned to calm. "It seems that you will get your way, Captain. Would you like to order me to tell you what I told Verena under this command as well?"

"That won't be necessary," Brooks replied coldly. "But I forbid you to speak of this to Dr. Urle, and to have no contact with her at all until after the mission has left."

Logus's face had become equally cold, and he offered in return only a single minimal nod.