Apollonia knew that days had passed while she was unconscious.

She did not want to wake up. Her head hurt too much. Even just thinking made it worse.

She was in a room by herself. She even knew this room, it was an extra treatment room that they normally stored supplies in. Guess it had all been pulled out for people who had been hurt.

Sometimes Zey would come in, Apollonia would just lay still, hoping that the fact that she had woken up would not be noticed.

It seemed to work, at least until she heard Zey whispering to Dr. Zyzus that she was pretending to be asleep, and they'd best just leave her be for now.

Of course they could tell, Apollonia thought, rueful and amused both.

"Hey," she said when Zey next came in.

"So, look who's feeling talkative!" her friend replied, stepping closer and passing a hand over her head. The tattooed circuits on Zey's hand triggered the monitors to give her a full readout.

"I feel like shit," Apollonia admitted.

"Do you need anything?"

Apollonia could only imagine a sedative, but she did not think sleeping would actually solve the problem.

"No," she said. "I just need to stop lying here."

"You can't get up yet," Zey said.

"I mean just . . . not doing anything," Apollonia replied. "I want to talk to someone . . ." She frowned. "Where is Y? I don't think I've seen him at all."

He must be busy. But still . . . she would have thought he'd have said hello or something.

"Ah . . . he's all over," Zey said.

"What?"

Zey gestured around the whole room. "When everything was going wrong, Y kind of took over the ship. I mean, Acting-Captain Urle told him to, but it was like . . . more efficient. And he's an Ehni, so he's super good at everything. He's still . . . in the ship."

Apollonia leaned over, tapping at a computer on the wall. "Hello? Y, are you in there?"

"He's not really talking right now," Zey said quickly. "I guess for him it wasn't just like turning on or off a light, he's . . . I heard someone he's say 'reassembling himself'." She shrugged. "Not something we can really get, I guess. But don't worry, he'll be back."

Apollonia heard every word, but found her gaze slacking. So Y had done something he'd always told her he shouldn't do. For the right reasons, just like he would.

Something, she thought, that he'd always wanted, but he'd found the reality to be not at all like he had hoped.

"I understand it," she said softly.

Zey went from confused to alarmed quickly.

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"Where's my tablet?" Apollonia asked, trying to change the topic.

Zey hesitated, then took it from a drawer. "Just don't wear yourself out using it, you need to rest, okay?"

"Yeah," Apollonia agreed. "Fine."

"Do you want something to eat? We've been giving you nutrient shots, but you probably want something in that belly."

"That sounds great . . ." Apollonia said.

"I can get you some crackers, or-"

"Pizza," Apollonia said.

Zey froze. "How did you know that Ann sent you up a pizza?"

Apollonia pointed to her tablet. "She sent me a message."

Zey relaxed, letting out a breath. "Whew. Sorry, after all the weird, creepy stuff lately, I just wasn't ready for you to be doing your . . ." Zey froze suddenly, realizing that she was implying things about Apollonia and her abilities.

Apollonia did not react to the faux pas, though. She froze for a moment, her attention drawn elsewhere.

"How long has Ambassador Kell been out there?" she asked the nurse suddenly.

Zey unfroze, looking guilty and awkward. "Ah . . . well, he came by almost immediately after we found you. It was after we escaped from that temple place."

"Where did you find me?" she asked.

"Uh . . ." Zey trailed off for a moment. "The priest guy from your event called for help for you. You fell and hit your head when the whole ship got hit." She paused. "It was a piece of that Nadian guy's ship. It got destroyed and we-"

"That's all?" Apollonia interrupted. "I just hit my head?"

Zey nodded. "Yeah."

"Was there any blood?" Apollonia asked.

Her face and tone were so serious that Zey froze again, watching her with fear. "Not that I saw," she replied.

Apollonia did not like that she was scaring her friend. She tore her eyes off her, looking down.

"Tell Kell to come in."

Zey swallowed, hesitantly. "Are you sure? You shouldn't over-stress yourself."

"Send him in."

Zey nodded, stepping out of the room.

A moment later, the doorway darkened, more than seemed appropriate for the size of Ambassador Kell.

"Come in," she said.

He closed the door behind himself.

"You know now," he said.

"Yeah," Apollonia replied.

Kell's eyes narrowed slightly, but there was a hint of grim amusement in them.

Apollonia might have been pissed off by that, but she understood it now not as gloating, but the dark humor of a fellow suffering a similar fate.

"Do you remember the event?" Kell asked.

"I'm still trying to understand it," Apollonia admitted. "I remember . . . blood. But I don't know if it was real or . . . well, it was real. But I don't know if what happened really happened on the level of existence that we're . . . now occupying." She frowned, wondering if that made sense.

But Kell understood.

"When we first met, you were closer to this. Your Embrion close, perilously close, to awakening. You were almost a feral creature, ready to die at any moment. You sacrificed that as you grew stronger as a person. But now, you have grown in both regards."

Part of her wanted to come up with some sarcastic retort to his words. But it was kind of true, and before she could think of anything, Kell spoke again.

"Tell no one what has happened, Apollonia Nor," Kell said to her. "You may mean well. They may mean the same. But if they find out, they will have a question - and then another question to follow that. They do not know where their curiosity leads them. And no matter what you tell them, they will never understand these things without experiencing them. Thus they cannot understand the pain, or the danger."

Apollonia felt her heart beating hard in her chest at his words.

She wanted to argue with him. She wanted to hate him, she did hate him. She felt disgusted by him, but he was also the only one who actually did understand what she was, what her existence was.

He was repulsive and alluring, her enemy and her friend.

Just like how everyone had always felt about her, she felt it around his being. The wrongness. Even if he had done nothing, she realized, she'd be feeling this.

She did not know if she could get past that feeling.

"Okay," she told him.