Slowly, Pirra opened her eyes.

Her body hurt, everything felt heavy. She started to drift back off, but something made her jump.

Her mind could not fix onto the thought, she could only feel that terrifying emotional sensation of loss.

Forcing herself up on her elbows, she looked around at where she was.

This was the medical wing.

She was in a temporary area; there were semi-soft hanging walls to divide it into cubicles. She was in her own, but the front curtain was open enough to let her see several others.

There were a lot of extra drones flying near the ceiling, and from the sound, it seemed there were a lot more people being treated than normal.

Some beds she could see had been emptied, so it seemed that whatever had happened to put people in here, they were getting cleared out now.

She did not know how long she had been unconscious. Vague memories of waking up at other times came to her, of being too weak to raise her head, and barely able to form thoughts or words.

One of those memories was of Commander Kai Yong Fan, sitting on the edge of her bed, telling her in gentle words . . .

Telling her about Alexander, that Alexander was-

She pushed away the reality that threatened to overrun her, and focused on her condition. As if she had a mission that depended on it. Lives were on the line.

She felt weak; maybe she had gotten exposed to radiation? That would fit her symptoms.

Reaching up with a shaking hand, she tugged on some of the deep-green feathers on her head. They should come right out even if she was being treated. A horrible thought, but a very easy way to check.

They did not come out, the tug made a sharp pain in her scalp. That pain cleared her mind a little more.

So she hadn't gotten irradiated. Her mother would be thrilled that she could still potentially have kids.

There were flashes of memory about . . . something else. She had been in a dark room. Lots of other people had been there.

She fumbled for her system, it had been put on the table next to her.

It told her that they were in zerospace. They had left the location of the temple.

It had been . . . almost fourteen hours since that escape.

She lay back, trying to wrap her mind around her own thoughts.

Cathal.

Father Sair had been in the darkened room, and-

Yes, it all came back to her, the whole event.

"Apollonia," she said out loud.

A nurse heard her, poking her head around a hanging wall. "You all right?"

Pirra's system identified her as Nurse Zey Boziak. "Is Apollonia all right?" Pirra asked.

"She's in another room, asleep," Nurse Boziak said. "She needs to recover."

Yes, she did, Pirra thought. She could recall the ceremony now, at least flashes of it, in her mind.

She started to get up. "Put out a Response call," she told the nurse. "We need to find Father Cathal Sair-"

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"Whoa, what are you doing?" Boziak said, coming up to her. "Just stay on your bed, Ms. Shaw-"

"Do not call me that!" Pirra snapped, far more angrily than she should.

Dessei did not take on the names of their spouse when they married. She was only Pirra out here among them. That was all.

Even if she was married to-

She cut off her own thought, trying to shove it aside.

"I have a job to do," she said, trying to hop up, but finding that she was weaker than she had realized.

"You are in no condition to do anything," Nurse Boziak said. She had shrugged off Pirra's rage.

Pirra glared at her, but this was not a winning tact. She looked into her system again, finding the rest of her team.

Response Team One were currently working on repairing vital systems down near Reactor Three.

Scanning through everything, she saw that there was no call at all for Sair, or . . . even an acknowledgement of what had happened.

It couldn't have been covered up, she thought. Too many people had seen.

She . . . she had to do something. The men who had been killed . . .

She could still recall their faces. Their calmness as they died.

Nurse Boziak got her to lay back down, and she agreed for now, trying to collect in her mind good recollections of them.

As soon as the nurse was gone, Pirra began to search the ship's database. She could use the Response system to identify the men based on memory. Humans looked very much the same to her, but she was a professional. She'd get this done.

It took her some time; minutes or maybe even hours. Nurse Boziak peered in on her once, but Pirra ignored her and kept working.

She found one of the men; he was in Resources, and his name was Terrance Chin.

The man was currently on-duty, her system said.

That was impossible. She had to go down and see him, talk to him if he was indeed really there.

She played the pliant patient until shift change, using time when no one was looking to practice standing and to massage her legs to help them be less stiff.

Once there was confusion out there with the change in shift, she ducked out.

Some escape, she thought, being the only green Dessei in here. The drones detected her immediately, but she could pull rank on them and they'd just back down. A living nurse was a lot trickier, and she managed to avoid those.

She took a lift down a dozen decks, heading for where her system had told her Terrance was right now.

The supply room stored volatile luxury food stores for restaurants. A lot of casks and boxes had been knocked over when the ship had been shaken.

Going in, she saw the man immediately. He was sitting on a fallen crate, one about the size of a coffin. She was startled as she saw it, but the man was already looking at her with surprise of his own.

She was not in uniform, just pants under her hospital gown.

"Um, Commander, are you all right?" the second man asked.

She looked to him, and realized that he was the other man who had been sacrificed.

"What is your name and rank?" she demanded of them.

The two men looked at each other in confusion. "Lieutenant Terrance Chin of Resources, ma'am."

"I'm Ensign Wilfrith, ma'am, also of Resources," the other man said, stumbling on his words. "Cnut Wilfrith."

She looked between them, keeping her face serious and accusing, though she was not sure what to actually ask them now.

At least she could intimidate even out of uniform, she thought.

"Where were you both last night?"

"Ma'am?" Chin said. "We were . . . both on our shift last night, here."

"Yeah," Wilfrith agreed. "Ma'am, are you all right?"

"I'm fine!" she snapped. "I just have some questions. Like what's in the coffin?"

"Coffin?" one man echoed, surprised. "This is just a crate!"

"Commander," a voice called from behind Pirra.

Pirra turned to look at Kiseleva, in full uniform, standing there and watching her. Even in her small human eyes, Pirra could see the concern there, the worry.

It made her want to scream, but she did not let it out. "I'm busy here, Lieutenant," she said.

"Commander, it's important you talk to me for a moment," Kiseleva said.

Pirra hesitated, then crumbled. She turned towards the human woman, her arms dropping to her side.

"What's going on?" she asked softly.

Kiseleva waved for the two Resource personnel to leave, and they got up from their crate, walking away quietly.

Kiseleva came up. "I know you must be very confused, Lieutenant Commander. The . . . cultural event you went to last night, you were exposed to a chemical stimulant that caused you to have a bad reaction."

"What?" Pirra snapped, her indignation rising.

"I know you do not want to hear that," Kiseleva told her. "I promise you that there is no sign of permanent problems. But you may be suffering from delusions temporarily."

Pirra felt her legs go weak. "Does that mean . . . is Alexander . . . ?"

Pirra saw the sadness in Kiseleva's eyes. "I am sorry, Commander. He is gone."