Captain's Log:

I will not be seeing Knows the World soon, he was correct in that.

After docking and retrieval of the !A!amo, Knows the World was unable to be revived. Medical examination found that he had suffered an internal injury, likely during the earthquake.

I don't think we could have done anything for him on the planet, and likely in the time spent trying we all would have died.

I do not know if he knew that, but he must have suspected.

The !A!amo are reeling; I fear for them, as many are already spiraling into dark mental places.

We are transferring them to the diplomatic ship soon, where we hope the more familiar environment will help.

I will be going with them; though the mission on Ko is finished, the real work begins now.

I cannot stay with the !A!amo forever. I know that, and I will have to tell them that. But I will stay with them for as long as I can; I have applied for three months of leave following this mission. I hope it will be approved.

It is not just for their sake, though. I find that I am not yet ready to return to duty. A part of me might never be fully healed.

I found something on Ko, and I have lost it again. Like a dream you forget when you wake up, I don't know that I can articulate it, but I lament its absence.

*******

"How's the pain, Captain?" Urle asked, stepping into his office.

Brooks put down his stylus, looking up to his Executive Commander.

Absently rubbing the plastic case on his arm, he shrugged. "My arm aches slightly."

"Three fractures in your ulna, two broken toes, a cracked rib, and a concussion, and that's it?"

Brooks leaned back in his chair. "I don't even remember hitting my head, to be honest."

"That's even more disturbing," Urle said, sitting down across from him. "Are you sure Dr. Y was thorough enough?"

"He was very excited to have me back with all of his scanners," Brooks told him. "He's got more procedures planned for me well into next week."

Urle smiled, but it was a fake, forced expression that faded in a moment. His brow furrowed.

"I only got seventeen, Ian. Out of two-hundred and fifty-nine."

Brooks also sobered, his false cheer fading. "I know," he said. "You did your best."

"My best was not good enough," Urle replied softly.

"I think those seventeen would disagree," Brooks said. "You saved them. You can't control people. If they chose not to go, then . . . there's just nothing you could do."

Urle shook his head. "I should have recognized what was happening earlier. Called in a knock-out team and just brought them."

"They'd hate you," Brooks said.

"They'd be alive," Urle countered.

Brooks shrugged. "I suspect not. Many of those who have been forcibly abducted have died - suicide by hunger strike or just stress."

"A lot of the ones who volunteered are doing the same," Urle said, looking down at his hand. "Damn it all, how can we still be helpless? With all we have?"

Brooks could not answer that.

"You played things as best you could," he simply said. "I believe that, Zach. There were power politics at play, something we didn't even expect. The Hessa were tied to their land; we should have realized from the beginning that would make them a hard sell even though they initially seemed welcoming."

"Have we saved their species, though?" Urle asked. "We got only 129,000 off Ko. We were hoping for half a million."

"We did what we could. Even if it was only a fraction of their total numbers," Brooks said, "it was more than would be alive without us."

Urle leaned back, slumping. "The Aeena have to pay for this. I know no one wants war, but we can't just let this sort of thing stand."

"One day," Brooks told him. "There will be a reckoning. But it won't be on our personal timeline."

A chime came to the door. Brooks frowned a moment, then called out; "Enter."

They felt the presence already; as the door opened, Kell stepped in.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"Ambassador," Brooks said. He did not sound happy.

Kell nodded to him, then to Urle, and sat in the other chair. Urle moved his chair, going just a little further away from the Ambassador than was polite. He did not seem to be in the mood for Kell, either.

"I heard that you had both survived," Kell said. "I am told you did your work very well."

"It's easy for others to say," Urle said.

Kell looked slightly curious at that, but did not pursue it. "You had unique experiences," the Ambassador said instead.

"You could say that," Brooks replied. "They are something that will take time to unpack. I don't know if that makes sense to you though, Ambassador."

"It does," Kell replied with a nod. "My kind also think on our experiences. This is one I will be reflecting on quite often."

Despite himself, Urle felt his curiosity stir. "I didn't expect it to leave this much of an impression on you."

"It was the first time I have experienced an ocean that was not Earth's," Kell said to him. "It was . . . invigorating. Still water, still saline. But unique in so many ways. I greatly enjoyed it."

Urle's face turned more sour. "You do understand that it's all gone now, right? That world is destroyed, all of its life gone."

Kell nodded. "Yes. I suppose this makes my memories unique."

The Ambassador looked at Brooks. "I have long wanted to experience such a thing as this. The chance came, and despite the fact that Ko is now dead, I will remember it as a world full of life."

"Perhaps you will live to see Ko bear life again," Brooks said. The words felt trite to him.

They did not seem to impact Kell much. But he did focus on Brooks now. "It was special to me. For a time I was reminded of an age when my kind were young; when the world felt larger and unknown."

He shook his head, seemingly more talkative than normal. "It is not quite the same, of course. To recreate the past never is the same as the real thing; we can only experience some wonders once. But it still held a quality that was . . . both transcendent and yet I cannot put into words."

Kell's uncomfortably intense stare bored into Brooks, and he found himself wanting to look away. But he could not make himself do it.

Kell was not simply conversing with him, but imparting something. Something that his words left unsaid.

And in a moment, Brooks realized that Kell was saying these words not so much about himself, but about . . .

Brooks's own experiences.

How could he know what I felt? Brooks wondered, feeling a shiver go down his spine.

For the first time, Kell did not seem an alien entity, something he could not ever understand. The Ambassador seemed almost human; or at least sharing in some quality of humanity.

A moment passed between them, and Brooks realized that what he had felt had been a touch, an inkling, of humanity's own past.

Just as the primordial oceans of Ko had been like Kell's own. They were given a taste of an ancient past.

And even if it had been taken away again, for that taste they were better off.

Brooks nodded slowly to Kell.

"Thank you for sharing with us, Ambassador," he said.

Kell nodded, and his expression made clear that he saw that Brooks had understood his meaning.

Without another word, merely a nod to Urle, Kell left.

*******

Brooks and Jaya observed the !A!amo for several minutes after arriving.

The band, now 48, were eating. The food was made to look like a common meal on Ko, but they had made clear that it tasted strange to them.

It did not help that the food was simply served through a hole in a wall. Even though every trick had been used to make the area feel natural, to people who had lived their entire lives on a world, this would feel fake and wrong, almost mocking in its difference.

There was little talking. It was not at all like how it had been during meal time down on the world, Brooks thought. They were withdrawn into themselves, in shock.

Something had to shake them out of it, he knew. They had to be guided so they could find themselves again in a universe entirely different from that which they had known.

Maybe they should have just brought them into a normal area, he thought. Perhaps that would have been better than this fake Ko.

But he was not a psychologist, who he knew had planned all of this out after studying the !Xomyi mind as much as possible.

"I have a favor to ask of you," he said.

Jaya turned slightly. "Yes?"

"I was wondering if you might be willing to continue as the Craton's Acting-Captain for a little while longer," Brooks said.

"I have heard that you have put in for a three-month vacation," she said. A pause, then; "It is a reasonable request, I think, given you have rarely opt to take vacations, and given the stresses of this recent assignment.

Brooks looked thinner, she thought. His cheeks slightly hollowed and haggard, but his face had tanned somewhat under Ko's sun. In his eyes, she saw that there were things on his mind, something different from his normal pattern of thoughts. He was living both now and sometime distant.

"They agreed to only two weeks," he said. "Three months seemed reasonable when I asked, but my star has apparently climbed after this - they are hailing it as a great success, and they want a debriefing now that we are raising issues with the Aeena over Ko's destruction."

"That is understandable," Jaya said, knowing it was but not liking it. "Do you believe there will be war?"

"Not now," he said. "Maybe later. The Aeena will give some concessions to bury this - it's an embarrassment that they failed here. They thought it was far too subtle to be found out."

She nodded. "To answer your question, Captain, I am . . . glad to help you in this," she said.

He looked at her now. For a while, since the event with the pirates and their relic technology, Jaya had been acting differently. Coldly, and he knew that she had been disappointed and upset with him.

But it appeared gone, and he saw instead respect in her eyes.

It felt wrong, because he could still feel the burning sense of failure for those he could not save. But her respect was a good thing to have.

"Thank you," he said. He stepped to the side, towards the door. "I must spend some time with them. They must not feel I have abandoned them."

"That is good of you, Captain," she said, following him. She hesitated before asking her question. "Will you be returning?"

He smiled then, surprised at the question, but pleased. She knew that he had considered resigning his commission.

"Yes," he said. "I will be back."