It had been two hours since GI and Charlie met, and since then, they’d done nothing but enjoy each other’s company. They sat on a hill and shared their interests, conversing about certain shows and genres. They talked about their favorite media and the fun stuff they grew up with. GI had never felt this happy being able to talk so long with another person.
“I… um…” GI stuttered. “I like the way you talk. You sound like a cowboy. Are you a cowboy?”
“Cowboy?” giggled Charlie.
“Oh!” GI exclaimed, covering her mouth. She must have asked something stupid or offensive, making her mind jumble again. Was it alright to ask an American if he was a cowboy? Did such questions reek of racism and bigotry? Oh GI, you fool, you stupid biddy with no knowledge of basic human interaction.
“Kinda,” Charlie laughed with no visible signs of being offended. “I come from Wyomin’, the cowboy-est state out there, even cowboy-ier than Texas. But I have never touched a single cow in my life.”
“Yokatta,” GI said in relief. “A-At least you talk fine. I actually speak English okay in real life, but in the Escapist Dream? For some reason I speak with an exaggerated Japanese accent, making me spout -sama or -san which is pretty stupid.”
“That’s the Escapist Dream for you. If you have an ethnicity, the Escapist Dream is gonna exaggerate the hell out of your accent like a bad dub.”
The smiles and laughter of the two emanated a sweetness the dark shadow of this world could not quell. GI's smile had never been wider and more delightful, becoming lovelier as her cheeks became rosy. Her eyes narrowed so much from laughing at Charlie's jokes, inspired by the corniest pop culture references. Charlie, in turn, could not stop making her laugh, as every chuckle brought more of her radiance – the cutest he had ever seen. Both enjoyed their little conversation, hoping it would be forever, wishing it would never end.
“This Amp guy,” Charlie said. “Who is he?”
“A-Amp…” replied GI.
The girl's eyes slightly returned to being bleak. Charlie paused, thinking he made the mistake of asking that question too soon. But the girl managed to push through her triggers, saying with renewed confidence, "Amp is a hero here. One of the strongest and smartest persons I have ever known. Like you, he came here to save us, and I believe he'll eventually get us out."
“Woah, wait… Is he… I heard the FBI sent some of their agents here to help you. Is he one of those agents?”
“He is. He's the last one.”
Charlie then decided to cut the inquiry after hearing the faltering tone in her voice. Maybe he could ask more of those questions later. That being said, he was surprised to learn Amp was his predecessor. The deuce in the Solaire armor was just like him – another piece sent here to save these people.
Charlie wondered if he was going to fare better or worse than Amp. It would suck if he ended up being as jerky as him the longer he stayed. The comparison didn’t end there though. Even the serious Amp was having a hard time with his mission, so what more could Charlie do?
Come on dude, there’s a time and place for that. The American geek withdrew his thoughts, going back to making the girl smile.
“You’re an otaku, right? Have you ever been to the Otaku Academy?”
“I… I went there back then... before the Nihilion took it over.”
“I see. This Nihilion guy really ruined everythin’, huh? The Otaku Academy was one of my favorite places and I could still remember all the cool anime fans I met back there.”
“I had a lot of memories there too. It was so much fun! I wish we could go back...”
“You don’t have to wish for it, GI. We could go and visit that place right now.”
“What? No! It’s too dangerous. The Nihilion’s forces surround the academy, and the boss inside is… one fucking weirdo…”
Charlie got up and dusted himself off, deciding he was not going to be stalled, wanting to do something with or without Amp's permission. He wanted to see the Otaku Academy again, hoping such a venture would also cheer his new otaku friend. Like what the girl said, it would be dangerous, but at least he had an ace. He checked his menu and saw the item the Bureau gave. If things go bad, he had that one single item with him just in case.
“Come with me! It’ll only be a reconnaissance mission, just a walk down memory lane,” Charlie said as he offered his hand again.
“I…”
“Don’t worry. I promise you, I’ll keep you safe.”
The two made the long trek, with Charlie wishing he chose the power of flight so he wouldn’t have to walk there. But so far it was not as uncomfortable as he thought, since this was another opportunity for him and GI to talk.
“By the way,” GI said. “What do you think of the harem genre?”
“Harem?” Charlie replied. “The only harem I could stand was Familiar of Zero. Most are trash for me, nothin’ more than delusional fantasies for the perverted.”
“I-It can be a bit exaggerated, yes. I like Familiar of Zero too. Konosuba was another harem anime I loved.”
“Any harem anime that doesn’t take itself too seriously is good, unlike shit like Strike The Blood. Why’d you asked me that question anyways?”
“Well… Otaku Academy isn’t actually called Otaku Academy anymore…”
The two then stumbled upon a young boy sitting on the dusty road reading a book. He was 17 years of age, had dark skin, and a shaved head. He wore a schoolboy's uniform complete with the white polo, grey waistcoat, waist-high black slacks – fashioned like a doofus would. The moment the two stopped in front of him, the boy closed his book and eyed the two. Charlie was about to get his lightsaber out when the girl greeted the young man, saying, "Hello, Cal-sama."
“Hello to you too, GI,” greeted the boy.
“You know him?” Charlie asked.
“Yes,” replied GI. “His name is Calamum Nomen. He’s a literary geek and one of Amp’s trustees.”
“Call me Cal,” he said to Charlie afterwards.
The two halted their trek to converse with the teen, wanting to know why he was there all lonesome. “I was sent here by Amp to keep a track on you, Mr. Anderson,” Cal explained. “I wanted to stop you here so I could ask where you are going.”
“Nowhere,” replied Charlie quickly. “We decided to stretch our legs and stroll around the place.”
The young boy then looked at GI, staring at her unblinking and serious. His eyes made her shake nervously, her teeth clattering, beads of sweat flowing. Charlie did not know what was happening, but the girl looked even more terrified than before.
“I’m not going to ask you again. Where are you going, GI?” Cal asked the girl.
“O-Otaku Academy,” the girl confessed.
Charlie then came in between the two, shielding GI from this kid. “Listen. Yes, we are on our way to Otaku Academy. I just wanted to take a look at the place.”
“So what? So you could tell the boss there about what you learned about us?”
“Dude, you are as stupid as Amp. Stop makin’ those assumptions. I don’t work with this Nihilion fella. I came here to help you. Why can’t you guys just trust me?”
“Trust takes time to build, Mr. Anderson.”
“Trust needs a chance to be built, Mr. Cal.”
“Suit yourself. Go to Otaku Academy and get yourselves killed. However, if you betray us, I have a hidden army tracking you two, and we will blow you up if we see you in cahoots with the Nihilion.”
“You have an army? Then why don’t you guys come and help us?”
The boy said nothing, his face still remaining calm and stoic. He went back to reading his book, grinning like a smug, pissing Charlie even more. Charlie said no farewells as he and GI continued their journey.
"This place…" remarked Charlie. "We had a horrible time back then too, but at least we helped each other out. The people here are just plain horrible."
Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
“I-I’m sorry you feel that way,” GI said. “The Escapist Dream must have been more fun during your time.”
“It was.”
“It’s all my fault. Cal-sama will never help us because he knows I’m here.”
“What? Why would you think that?”
“Nothing…”
Charlie and GI soon arrived on a flat plain, dust riding with the wind, hitting them in the face. Charlie's face was filled with horror and disappointment upon seeing what happened to the Otaku Academy.
They walked on an esker and entered a rusty metal gate. Standing in front of them was a school; its white paint flayed, walls cracked, windows smashed. The baseball field had become overgrown with weeds and the basketball gym had crumbled.
The rooftop – one of the most iconic settings in any anime – where students hung out, confessed their love, had wacky anime mischief, or threw their rivals to their deaths, was empty. Even more disappointing was what had happened to the shacks that once housed the mechs, now looking like a junkyard, its wonderful toys scrapped and recycled.
"Gggggrraaaaahhhh!" roared a zombie who came out and attacked Charlie.
“Fuck!” yelped Charlie as he turned his lightsaber on and beheaded it just in time. More zombies began coming out of holes, doors, and windows, shambling towards the two. Their bloody hands were aimed at them, their eyes dead, mouths drooling with spit.
GI was preparing to unleash her Stand, but Charlie stopped her, saying “No, don’t! We’re on a reconnaissance mission, remember? Can’t afford whoever’s in here knowing our presence.”
The American geek then grabbed the otaku’s hand as he took her away, making the girl blush. They went around the building, putting some distance between them and the undead, before entering a broken window.
Charlie peaked his head out of the room they were in, checking the hallways for any danger. He then signaled the girl to stay behind him and keep quiet as possible. His amateur military hand signs made him look like a clown as he tried his best to communicate silently. The otaku facepalmed and giggled, finding his failed attempt cute. Nonetheless, she followed his instructions.
“Oh man,” remarked Charlie. “I used to love this place. It’s supposed to be like a fun anime school filled with all sorts of wackiness. What happened?”
“I-It still is,” GI replied. “Though it’s more like School-Live now.”
“But seriously, this place is giving me the creeps. It's too silent.”
The girl pointed to a large two-door entrance, colored in red, at the end of the hallway. “M-Maybe we can check that room over there?”
As they arrived in front of the entrance, the otaku girl gave Charlie a questioning glance as if to ask if he were sure. Charlie smiled, assuring her everything would be okay. “Well, here goes,” Charlie said as he slowly opened the door.
What they stumbled into was a large school theatre, not the concrete stage public schools had, but the oval auditorium like in a private expensive academy. The place had seats in descending order, balconies on top, a large furnished stage with red curtains, spotlights brightening it up. It was cleaner and better arranged compared to the rest of the school, though the people inside were anything but clean.
The eyes of the crowd, depraved and sinister, locked onto the guests. Their faces filled with either disgust or seductive curiosity. All of them had white crosses on their heads. Charlie’s face contorted with revulsion and disbelief making his first glimpse of the tenants.
“F-Forgot to tell you,” GI said. “They don’t call this place Otaku Academy anymore. Harem Academy… that’s what they call this place now.”
“I fuckin’ wonder why,” Charlie said in contempt.
The place was filled with an assortment of NPCs dressed as anime tropes, but in the more NSFW side of anime. There were underaged slutty school girls wearing skimpy skirts, thigh highs, and cut-off sailor fukus that showed their tummies. Their hairs were of different colors like black, blue, blonde, silver, and pink. Besides them were the equally underaged male studs, wearing ripped sleeveless blazers. Their biceps were as hard as granite – bulging, firm, and sweaty. Their hairs were styled so spikily they could impale someone. On their waists were katanas, bokkens, wakizashis, and large kunais. These were, however, the most normal costumes in this theatre.
Other macabre fashions also greeted them. Sultry lolicons that could get you imprisoned if you interact with them, nubile shotacons that could get you lynched if you even talk to them, sluts wearing maid costumes, police and nurse uniforms, corporate attires. Women wore fishnets and skirts so short, their buns – as gorgeous as early morning sunrise – could be seen. There were also the fat middle-aged men wearing gimp suits, short old men wearing diapers, subtle molesters going around doing God knows what with their fingers, and (step)brothers and (step)sisters doing wincest fuckery so deviant this book might get banned if described further.
"Wel-cum," an Asian guy in a black gakuran said. "My name is Harem King, and it's been a while since I had visitors."
He was sitting on a large royal throne in the center of the oval stage, waving his hand as a master would. His eyes sized them up, his lips smiling while being moistened by his tongue. He was holding a large pillow with a picture of a blue-haired idol girl, filled with holes for... storage. He was surrounded by an army of scantily-clad women of various ages; a fuck boy creep who deserved to be placed in the most bottom pit of Hell.
“Ummm yeah…” Charlie greeted back. “It’s umm… nice to be here.”
GI, on the other hand, could feel her blood retreating from her skin, her nerves flaring warning signs in her head. She'd been through many bad ideas but this one was the most foolish so far. They shouldn't be here, and she should have stopped that damn Charlie with his seductive smile for bringing her here.
The Harem King was one of the bosses in the Escapist Dream, equally as dangerous as the Professor, but far more perverted and terrifying. She’d heard of what he’d done to many of his victims, both female and male, old and young. She had little actual knowledge of the Harem King’s powers; the only thing she was sure of was that his sexual crimes were considered crimes against humanity. Remembering those stories made the hair on her skin stand up.
“What have you done to this place?” Charlie asked the Harem King.
The Harem King laughed maniacally, his head tilted upwards and his saliva sprinkling. He then stood up, revealing that he was wearing a fundoshi – traditional Japanese loincloth that could barely cover his spotted rear. The creep then made V signs with both of his hands, with one pointing beside his eyes, and the other pointed at Charlie.
“Let me ask you this, gaijin” said the Harem King. “Why do you think people watch anime?”
“I don’t know, for many reasons I guess,” Charlie answered. “It could be because of the awesome animation? The story? The culture and style itself? One of my favorite anime is Perfect Blue, a psychological anime which has one of the best dark stories I’ve ever–“
“Wrong! People watch anime because of the sexiness, baka! The kawaii school girls, the ecchi, the moe! The sexy thighs, breasts doing the gainax bounce, panty shots, and nosebleed galore! I transformed Otaku Academy into what it truly is. Into what anime is supposed to be!"
As the Harem King said this, he touched himself and moaned. He even grabbed a pair of moist knickers and started sniffing them like a cocaine addict. This AI was sick in the head; a problem Charlie knew all too well when he got trapped here once with these oddballs. The personalities of every AI in the Escapist Dream were stereotypically based on different media. Unfortunately, in this academy, the characters took their personalities and characteristics from the worst side of anime.
However, Charlie could finally see this supposed reconnaissance mission was turning poorly – the American geek having never felt more foolish. From the time he agreed to step foot into this world, his first fight with those orcs, to journeying into the Academy without a well-calculated plan, Charlie had proven himself to be a constant idiot. He should have thought of this better. He should have been more careful. Looking at the girl beside him, not only was Charlie going to get himself killed, he was going to get her killed too.
Ah shit. We’re screwed and this is all my fault. Should we make a run for it? We can’t outrun these people. Everyone knows anime characters tend to run like the fuckin’ Flash. Maybe we can stand our ground? We might not last that long and we’ll all look like chumps. Unless…
Charlie remembered the file those FBI agents gave to him, something that was supposed to give him a better chance at fighting. Should he risk everything using this one item in his inventory? He couldn't think of anything else due to the pressure, and he had no other options left.
To the surprise of GI, Charlie came forward, chin up and chest forward in a valiant display, glaring at the Harem King with complete dislike. He didn't even look scared, but GI was still nervous about whatever plans this geek had in store.
“Your reign as the king of this place has come to an end, Harem King! You have vandalized and destroyed this magnificent academy long enough! My name is Charlie Anderson and prepare yourself for one nasty ass-whoopin’!” yelled Charlie with a smile, mocking an exaggerated anime voice. This was the Otaku Academy after all. Might as well enjoy the weebery.
“Ooooh. I feel vewy scaewed,” jeered Harem King.
“We’re born free. All of us. Free!” Charlie said, adding more anime references. “Some don’t believe it, some try to take it away. To hell with them! Lay your eyes on that, and you’ll know what this place is, that it’s worth fighting for! Fight. Fight. Fight!”
The creep could only reply with a snicker. This gaijin knew anime, but did he think he and his little otaku girlfriend could overthrow him? "You have no idea the pain you'd just brought upon yourselves," Harem King proclaimed. The boss of the Otaku Academy then snapped his fingers, summoning three girls who fell from above, landing in front of the two.
“You want to kill Harem King-kun?! I won't allow it!" one of the girls said, sporting an out-of-this-world appearance. She wore what could be described as a slutty version of the Michelin Man costume – inflatable white rings covering much of her torso and limbs, but still able to show the porcelain skin of her legs, arms, and tummy. On top of her head was a large balloon-like hat covering her long bubblegum pink hair. “My name is Kiki Angeluke Voyah, the princess of the planet Bastos, and I will fight to protect my Harem King!”
“I-I will protect my oniii-tan too!” a young 9-year-old girl said in a cute voice, her white hair tied into twin buns. She wore a mini maid costume, with striped knee-length socks, cat ears, and a small pink backpack. Seeing the girl made Charlie cringe like he'd never been before. This couldn’t be real, this has got to be a dream. Him interacting with this little girl wearing the questionable maid costume, was already enough to get him beat up by a mob.
"I warn you! I have trained in the imōto no kakutō sutairu-ryu style of martial arts! And I will marry oniii-tan so I will not let you harm him!”
“Please kill me now…” grumbled Charlie.
“You little girls stay back, this is the job for a real female knight of Albion!” the third woman said with a British accent, brandishing a sword. She was an older blonde woman, probably in her mid-20s, wearing a steel silver cuirass with a golden cross as an emblem. Her whole body was adorned with steel gauntlets, gorget, shoulder pads, and vambraces. She also wore a long black skirt conservatively covering her legs, making her less sexy than the other girls showing their skin. What made her more lethal though was her longsword with a crucifix-like handle, golden in color, designed ornamentally with Latin markings. She had her hair in a ponytail, swaying in rhythm with the swinging of her sword.
“They call me Sword, but back then, I was known as John Lambton, the slayer of the great wyrm, saviour of Britain from all dragons. I have been summoned by my Harem King as a Servant in the Holy Mug Wars. And I will use my knightly virtues and sassiness to please him in both battle… and in bed…”
“Wait? Wasn't John Lambton a guy?”
“It doesn’t matter!”
The Harem King went back to his throne, crossing his legs, resting his elbows on the armrests. He puts one hand on his chin, ready to watch this little show that was about to happen. The whole theatre had also begun to play Meiko Kaji's Flower of Carnage, giving a little atmosphere for the massacre that was about to unfold.
“If you want me out, then you have to kill my three waifus first,” said the Harem King. “My dears, please make sure to provide a great spectacle for your king. Don’t let hubby get bored.”
“Hai! Harem King-sama!” all three yelled.
“D-Did you just called that little girl… your wife?” Charlie said, praying it was a joke.
“Welcome to anime, bitch!”