“It’s time to get up. Time to get up. Time to get up.” Alarion’s voice was numb as he sang the familiar words to himself in an empty bedroom. He wasn’t sure if it was morning. Or if that mattered. But his mother’s song was accurate in spirit. He’d slept enough.
“Time to get up in the morning.” He finished with a sigh.
He hurt. Everything hurt. He’d slept too long, but not long enough, his muscles sore, his eyes still crusted with the ugly remains of a night of tears.
He’d tried to stop himself, to be strong and stoic. But it had been too much.
To her credit, Sierra hadn’t badgered him. Nor had she left. Challenge dungeons had a reputation for being as psychologically taxing as they were physically. There had been no judgement in her eyes, if anything, her own frazzled expression spoke to the difficulties she’d endured while he had faced his demons.
No, she’d simply pulled her chair up alongside his bed and sat with him, a hand on his ankle. A small human connection. Only when there were no more tears to cry had she pressed him with a question. “Do you want to talk?”
“No,” he’d answered.
And that had been enough. She’d stayed with him until he fell asleep, and she’d been gone when he awoke. Eventually he might talk to her, to tell her at least as much as the rules of the dungeon would permit. But for now, he had to get up.
He winced at a twinge in his back as he dug into his satchel for a change of clothes, then took a moment to check his Status. No new conditions or warnings. He’d just slept like shit. He pondered over whether to cast [Valentina’s Energetic Embrace] and decided against it. Who knew what the rest of the day would bring?
Worse, a part of him thought he deserved to feel bad.
The recrimination was nothing new. He’d spent half the night hating himself, processing what he’d experienced. The memories of his victims and their unfamiliar lifetimes were more distant after a good night’s rest, but the strongest of them refused to fade.
His mother and father so deeply in love.
His sister reassuring him after their father had left for the first time.
Val’s final moments staring up at a white-haired beast as it beat him to death.
Taking a life had always been a distant thing for Alarion. He’d been too young to grasp the severity of what had driven them from their home. He felt justified in the butcher’s death, and he’d been nearly feral when he’d killed Val. Seeing those actions through a fresh lens imposed the weight of them in a way he hadn’t reckoned with previously.
It would take more than one night to process it all, but one thing was certain. If he killed again, it needed to be righteous. Justified and unavoidable. He owed the dead that much.
But if he was to be inducted… that might prove a problem.
“Good morning,” Valentina said as he emerged from seclusion.
“Mm,” he answered as he slid onto a stool across from her.
Valentina seemed reserved. It was an odd look on the normally radiant goddess. Even the white and gold of her dress looked muted in comparison.
“I am alright,” he told her, biting into a pastry a few hours past its prime. “As well as can be expected.”
“Good.” Her shoulder sagged in relief, and she nodded with a bit of renewed energy. “That is good.”
“You did not watch?”
“I can’t,” she explained. “Unlike the others, Mother’s test is spiritual. God or no, we cannot look into your essence. We just caretake your body and listen for the key phrase. That said, I know the context of the challenge. Enough to know how hard it would be. That you’ve taken at least one life.”
Alarion sat silently for a long while, chewing over her words as much as the soft bread, unsure of what to say. Unsure if he wanted to touch the subject again so soon.
“Why?” He asked at last. It was a question he’d been waiting days to ask. “Why make me relive that?”
Valentina pursed her lips. The question had a simple answer, but it was clear to look at him that Alarion was held together with will and spite. “Mother’s challenge dungeons allow an Awakened to grow rapidly in power, and she does not restrict who enters them. But as a force for good in this world, she’d be remiss if she gave power without insight.”
The boy frowned deeply. “Insight?”
“Into the cost of abusing power. Of manipulating others. Of taking a life most of all.” Valentina explained. “Those who feel empathy or guilt for what they’ve done will suffer, but they come out the far side with a greater understanding of the consequences of their actions. The test is designed to be worse for those who have no remorse. The less you care, the more invasive the memories. Such empty people tend to be broken by the test. I’ve seen men so shattered that they’ve taken their own lives in my very hall, whether in penance or to escape their damaged minds.”
Alarion swallowed hard, his eyes following patterns in the wood grain of the bar top. He understood those men. He might have gotten the ‘lighter’ version by virtue of his guilt, but he’d made it up in volume and intimacy. More than once the previous night, he’d considered…
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“Eat.” Valentina instructed him and she pushed a plate of fresh bacon toward him. The meat was still sizzling, as though hot off the grill.
“Why do you cook if you can just…” He gestured at the meat that had appeared seemingly from nowhere, happy for the taste on his tongue and even happier for the distraction from his darkest thoughts.
“Why do anything?” Came her retort. “I have almost unlimited power here and nothing but time. There is value in doing things the right way. But at times like this it takes a back seat to expediency.”
“Mm.” Alarion answered around a mouthful of bacon. She had a point. It was a small thing, but it was amazing how that small thing could lighten such a dark cloud. “So, what is next?”
“Well, when you are ready, I have a combat challenge, or-”
“Combat.” Alarion hastily interjected without even looking at the nearby doors. When Valentina’s expression darkened, he went on to explain, “I have been cooped up for days in my own head. I need something physical. Something tangible.”
“Very well. But breakfast first. And your reward.”
It spoke volumes about Alarion’s state of mind that he’d completely forgotten that a challenge came with a reward.
> Pocket Watch of the Heart’s Desire [Divine]
>
> Description: This intricate brass pocket watch is engraved with the heraldry of Lal Viren and her incarnation, Valentina Lyons. Devices such as these are provided to all those who successfully complete a Challenge of the Heart while in Lal Viren’s favor.
>
> Requirements: The Ongoing Favor of Lal Viren
>
> Attunement Cost: None
>
> Type: Misc.
>
> Enchantment: On verbal command the hands of this pocket watch will cease to tell time and will instead direct its owner toward their heart’s desire. The hands will remain in this position until the user approaches within 100 yards or the user cancels the effect. This effect will only function three times. This watch cannot be taken or used involuntarily by anyone other than its owner, but it can be given to another who has the favor of Lal Viren. Should it be taken, it will reappear at its owner’s side within 24 hours.
It was, without a doubt, the most expensive looking thing Alarion had ever owned. That might be damning with faint praise, but he suspected even someone as elegant as Elena would be happy to own such a device.
The brass was immaculately polished and seemed to reject the oil of his skin wherever he touched it as he left neither smudge nor print while handling it. The rear facing was smooth brass with a small winding lever inset beneath the metal cowling, while the cover was etched with an intricate but unfamiliar sigil. The inside was ivory white with black stenciled digits, each of the three hands a thin elongated ruby that burned with inner light.
Alarion snapped the cover closed and jumped slightly as a notification opened itself in his field of view.
At ZEKE’s direction Alarion had long ago muted all but the most critical notifications within his System interface to keep them from distracting him in a vital moment.
Apparently, a message from a God counted as critical.
> Lal Viren, She Who Bore Challenges, Mother of Ten Thousand Trials, Herald of the Labyrinth, Defender of the 44th Wish of Humanity, Scion of the Unbeaten….
The notification continued with titles for several more lines. Then it began a new paragraph detailing her ‘investitures’, whatever that meant, which proceeded for twenty additional lines before finally ending with:
> … has offered you her Favor? Do you accept? Y/N?
Alarion gave Valentina a quizzical look. The goddess shrugged, then answered his question in a roundabout fashion. “I accepted it when it was offered.”
Alarion accepted:
> New Trait! Favor of Lal Viren [Divine](Minor)
> Favor of Lal Viren [Divine](Minor)
>
> Description: Having obtained the Favor of a divine entity, you have established a sympathetic link between that Deity and yourself. This link is tenuous and easily broken by either side and provides limited benefits as a result.
>
> Requirements: None.
>
> Effects: You are able to activate divine items linked to Lal Viren. Divine spells linked to Lal Viren or one of her incarnations will have slightly reduced cost and slightly improved effect. Lal Viren is always aware of your general location and wellbeing.
>
> Note: You may only have favor from one divine entity at any time. This favor can be withdrawn at any time by Lal Viren. This favored can renounce this trait at any time.
“I’m not sure I like being watched,” Alarion said honestly.
“With a minor favor, it is more like being smelled.” When the words drew a look of disgust, Valentina sighed and attempted to clarify, “Not literally. It is just the closest comparison you’d understand. She’s aware of you the way you’re aware of another person in the room, even if you aren’t paying attention to them. She can hear your prayers if you were to offer any, and she can grant quests to her followers to assist one another if need be.
Alarion seemed less than enthused as he turned his attention to the watch in his hand, clicking it open and closed with a satisfying click. “Mm.”
“The watch is also an indication that you’ve earned Mother’s favor. That is worth next to nothing in Vitrian lands, but her sigil will open many doors in the more pious corners of the world, especially among the Godborn.”
“Have I actually earned it?” Alarion turned the device over in his hand and opened it once more, watching as the seconds ticked slowly by. “Or was I granted it the moment you saw my Status? Or out of pity?”
Valentina snorted at that. “Mother is Lal Viren. She Who Bore Challenges. Her sisters might play at influence, at legacy and status, but none of that is of interest to her. Mother grants her favor to her worshipers and to those who excel, not those with mere potential and certainly not out of pity. You are weak, yes, and your trials are simple, but I think you earned her favor the moment you demolished one of my tests.”
From the scowl in Valentina’s gaze, it was hard to tell if Lal Viren approved of him for thinking outside the box, or for irking Valentina.
He wasn’t sure why the idea of special treatment bothered him so much. Alarion was many things, but he’d never been especially proud. He’d been happy to take Valentina’s assistance time and again, but here he was balking at the idea that the God might value him the same way the Vitrians did?
His mood was still foul, that much was clear.
“Is Sierra still here?” Alarion asked, trying to clear his mind as he plucked the final slice of bacon from his plate. “I’d like to see her before I get started.”
Valentina glanced up briefly staring into some unseen dimension, then shook her head apologetically. “You are ships passing in the night, I am afraid. She’d just woken up when you returned. Once you fell asleep, she dove into another challenge. I think she’s trying to catch up to you, actually.”
“How well is she doing?”
“Well enough.”
A short moment of silence passed between them. Alarion had nothing more to say, and Valentina looked as though she had too much to ask. Eventually she settled for a familiar question.
“Are you okay?”
“No.” He answered honestly, but this time there were no tears. There was only an exhausted resignation. It was what it was. “But I will be.”
“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather the puzzle challenge?”
“Do you want me to break it?”
“I’d be eager to see you try.” Valentina’s eyes glittered with challenge. “I reinforced it after that last debacle.”
Alarion laughed in spite of his dour mood. “Tempting. But no.”
Nothing improved his mood like hitting things.