Kabuto prided himself on his mental fortitude. He'd been through things that would collapse the minds of lesser men. His mind was a precision machine designed to deal with stress and maintain an unfailing logical outlook.

His very logical mind proposed that just killing all the scientists was probably the most efficient way of dealing with his current stressors.

"I must have just misunderstood you. Your current project is is one designed to research sound-waves effects on solid objects. Correct?" Kabuto asked.

"Yes." The scientist agreed happily.

"And you had decided that the best way to go about that was to test one of the pillars supporting the ceiling of your lab. When you were testing the destructive power of sound waves." Kabuto clarified.

The dust covered scientist nodded his head. "It was a resounding success."

"Success? You collapsed the ceiling of three different labs. Including your own." Kabuto continued, hoping the man would connect the dots. "You killed two lab assistants!"

"I know! Imagine how great it will work against our enemies!"

"I am. It's saving your life."

"Huh?" The scientist asked.

"Your funding will go towards the rebuilding of those labs until they have been remade. You will also have no assistants until such a time that Orochitama-sama decides otherwise." Kabuto said then gave a wave. "You're dismissed."

The scientist looked as if Kabuto had just slapped him in the face. Kabuto couldn't bring himself to care.

"You can't-"

"Get out." Kabuto ordered.

The scientist left whilst muttering under his breath. Something resembling joy fizzled in the lump of coal Kabuto called a heart. One lone idiot wouldn't ordinarily be enough to break Kabuto's charade of polite cheer. But this appointment wasn't the first of it's kind. He'd had five others just like them. That same day.

Kabuto immediately knew why it was so bad too. Orochitama was gone. And with her gone many scientists thought they could get away with things, or that Kabuto would give different answers than Orochitama did. They were like toddlers who found out mom wasn't coming home for a few hours.

"Um, Kabuto-sama. I'm here to put in a request." A mousy woman with purple hair said from his door.

Kabuto put on his best smile. "Yes, Ayasugi-san. What is the request for?"

"Oh. Um. You probably have been getting this a lot, but I'm here to apply for human testing." The woman practically whispered.

"I'm sorry Ayasugi-san. We currently aren't doing any human testing unless you can provide ample research on-" Kabuto began.

"On animal test subjects. Yes. I've done that. Here." The woman handed over a large stack of papers she had been holding. Kabuto held his surprise. He had actually assumed the large amounts of papers with her were just going to be more requests. He took her notes and began to flip through them.

"Your research is on sustained area of effect genjutsu?" Kabuto asked. The research he was seeing so far was well organized and well thought out.

"Yes!" The woman piped up, suddenly very energetic. "It uses a seal array to cast a genjutsu over an area and casts it again a minute later, and repeats until it runs out of energy. We need human test subjects to find out how strong the illusion actually is though. No possibility of unintended loss of life as well."

It all looked like everything was in order. This was something that legitimately needed human testing to pass it on to the next stage. As long as the illusion was not too mind scaring this was something that needed to go on to the next stage.

"I have to pour over your research some more, but if all I've seen so far is correct it looks like you will be approved for human testing in the next week or so."

The woman blushed and clapped her hands together. "Oh good! It's been so long since I've heard a human's squeals of terror." She stated in the same shy tone.

The woman turned and skipped out of the room.

Kabuto paused and looked down at the report. "I'll pass it on to Orochitama-sama when she gets back." He stated before writing a note on the report that the head scientist needed heavy amounts of supervision in her human testing.

Kabuto also returned to his own research. He wasn't sure why Orochitama would want to have LESS control over the Edo Tensei summons, but working the theory was proving more and more that the act should be easy.

Kimimaro's sickness was proving far more difficult. It was like the marrow in the bones was fighting against him, producing blood that the body regarded as an enemy. It wasn't a simple case of something needing healing or a virus needing to be purged. The body was fighting itself.

There was the possibility of immune suppressants but that ran the risk of-

"Kabuto-sama. I want to file a request." The dusty scientist from earlier said from his door.

Kabuto slowly looked up from his research notes and pushed his glasses up his nose. As he very calmly asked, "Is it a request for human test subjects?"

"Yeah! I hear you approved someone else's request, so with my recent success I figured-"

"Get out."

Word was getting out that he approved a case for human testing. Meaning many would be trying to get their own projects approved for it. Kabuto deeply hoped that Orochitama came home soon. He understood why she was so insistent on leaving.

----

"It's nice to get out and visit the ocean." I said with a stretch of my arms and a deep breath of salty air.

"It...is nice." Kidomaru stated reluctantly.

Of all of my bodyguards Kidomaru was the one who seemed most resistant to my changes, and clearly had the most doubts on me actually being his boss. Which was respectable in it's own way. It meant he had loyalty and a good enough sense to know that I was not the same person I was before.

All the more reason to keep him on team Orochitama.

"We're not going to talk about are feelings are we? Cause, if so, I'm fucking gone."

Tayuya, on the other hand, had no problems at all accepting me as boss and would probably follow me for as long I was stronger than her and could help her gain power. She was also the first to realize that I wasn't so strict on the showing of respect.

Though Orochimaru wasn't huge on the respect thing. He more just liked having an excuse to kill people and strike fear into his subordinates hearts.

"No Tayuya-chan. We don't have to talk about our feelings." I confirmed, "But do keep an open mind about it. It's not healthy to bottle everything up."

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Tayuya looked at me like I'd placed my pants on my head and announced I was queen of the universe.

Apparently your superiors telling you to talk about your problems was uncommon in the ninja world. Which really went a long way to explaining all of its...everything.

"Kidomaru-kun, what have you decided to do for keeping the ships in port?" I asked

Despite my attempts to stay informal Kidomaru snapped to attention. "I did some digging. There are local legends about a monstrous crab named Takashi. It's shell is said to be colored gold. With my golden web and and a few of my spider summons I could probably make some sailors think the ocean spirits want them to stay in port."

I gave a nod of agreement. Local legend or not. I'd stay in port if a giant gold sea spider was climbing up onto ships.

"Tayuya? Any more word on Gato?"

"For one, the midget hates ninja. A lot. If he's got ninja backers, it's not by choice. Or they just offered him too much money."

"Hm. So do you think pissing him off or scaring him is the best option for getting him to run for help?" I asked, the two options were pretty interconnected though. And things that scare men like Gato usually made them mad too.

"I'd go angry. He's a spiteful one." Tayuya confirmed.

"Anger it is. Keep tabs on him. Do as many small things showing interference as you can. But do it in a way that doesn't seem dangerous. If he gets too scared he might just try to run instead."

"Sure. So break out the laxatives and have his men see some spooky shit. But keep anything away from him personally." Tayuya concluded.

"Sounds about correct." I agreed. "Try not to have anything blow back on the civilians. We want their good will when this done."

"Why?" Kidomaru asked, "Why does their good will matter? They are civilians. They can't do anything anyways."

I stopped myself from giving any sort of response based on morals. "Civilians may not be able to harm us, but they can be a pain in the ass. It's far better to have them be useful. If they are happy they won't complain when we do stuff like charge them taxes, have them build buildings, or farm our food. A happy people are a people not planning to betray us to our enemies."

Kidomaru gave that some thought. It appears I was challenging the man's world views.

"You both did well. I got to Gato's documents. Whoever is supplying him with ninja tools is distributing from a port in Lightning. So it might be Cloud." I said.

"Makes sense. Cloud is the nation most ready to start a war right now. They could be using things to try and muscle into Mist." Tayuya commented.

"Yes. Though beware that it could be anyone with port access." I warned, "I glanced through his employee files as well. I haven't managed to find anyone Gato has as a second in command. All the files in his office were dock workers and his thugs."

"Your plan kinda hinges on finding his second in command. Any plans for that boss?" Tayuya asked.

"I suppose I could try and get close to him. Get him to talk." I said with a grimace.

"Ah...yeah, not likely there boss lady." Tayuya said with a shake of her head, "You are a little old for his tastes."

I looked down at myself. "I look like I'm in my late twenties."

"Yeah. And Gato apparently doesn't touch any girl over twenty-one."

"How young is his preference?" My voice kind but layered in killing intent.

"Oh. No not that bad." Tayuya stated, "I mean, he's a fucking monster, but he seems to still want them to be adults."

I suppressed a scowl. Adult in this world, for civilians, was still only sixteen.

Still, someone getting close to him was probably a good idea. I looked considerately at Tayuya for a moment. Then dismissed the thought. A henge should work fine.

"Find out his likes Tayuya. Hair length. Eye-color. The works. This isn't something I want to do more than once." I ordered.

"Sure. I know the guys he sends to look for girls. I'll put up a disguise near them." Tayuya nodded her head.

"In the meantime, I have dinner plans." I said brightly.

-----

Hatake Kakashi had not had a very restful day. He lay there exhausted yet unable to sleep. His mind racing as he could only think on Orochitama's words. One of his teammates was still alive. Unless Orochitama was just saying things to get under his skin one of his two teammates was alive. Damned if he could figure out which one though.

He'd shoved his arm through Rin's chest and Obito was so crushed not even Tsunade would have been able to keep him alive. Both seemed impossible to have survived.

Kakashi also wasn't a fool. If one of them were alive they had either gone through hell in the last few years or didn't want to come home at all for some reason or another. He wasn't sure which option he liked less. Though based on their last interaction, it might truly be just a game to Orochitama. It was so hard to see what was real and what was fake around the pale enigma.

He was just thankful that the Snake Sannin probably had no plans to stick around.

A knock came from the door. Kakashi's body screamed at him as he stood up and traveled to the door. The sound of the door opening showed that Tsunami reached it first.

He mentally made a note to speak with her about security.

Then he felt the chakra. His eyes widened.

"Ara ara. Tsunami-chan. As lovely as ever. I thought you might enjoy a nice dinner. I brought some wagyu beef."

"Oh god, why?" Kakashi gasped.

"Hello Kakashi-kun~" the voice of Evil herself said, "You really should be resting."

"Why are you here?" His voice did not crack like a teenager.

"Dinner." The woman said, gesturing to a basket of food. "Plus I'm going to be making a soup for you. Something to help with the chakra exhaustion. Since you'd only eat it if I made it in front of you I figured I might as well bring dinner for all your students too."

That couldn't be it. Unless her goals needed him to beat Zabuza. Though he wasn't sure what that would get the woman. Plus she kept coming with all of these luxury goods for food. No one brought those on missions. The only likely place for someone to get these would be from-

"Are you feeding us food you stole from Gato?" He asked incredulously.

"Kakashi-san, that's not very-" Tsunami began.

"Of course I did." Orochitama replied, "I don't exactly keep caviar and wagyu beef on me."

Tsunami looked at Orochitama in shock.

"Why would you do that?" Tsunami asked.

"I told you. Gato has a ninja backer. I need him to run for help without getting him so spooked that he just runs. That means inconveniencing Gato's life in hundreds of small petty ways every day."

"Petty ways?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah. Petty. Like stealing all his toilet-paper. Removing the bookmarks from his books. Steal his food an hour before his meal time. Put ginger in his soap. Small things." Orochitama admitted freely.

Kakashi found a new mission in life. This woman could not be allowed to spend time alone with Naruto.

"Oh. Well...I guess it's okay if it's Gato." Tsunami finally decided. "You are welcome to join us for a meal any time. It's nice have another woman around."

"Oh, I can show you all kinds of benefits to having another woman around." Orochitama replied with wagging eyebrows.

Tsunami clearly knew the eyebrows were meant to signify something as an innuendo or joke, but was also clearly confused on what she thought was a joke.

Kakashi could at least comfort himself with the fact that he could at least laugh while he trembled in fear.

"Here. Make sure I'm not poisoning you." Orochitama said as she handed over a basket of roots and vegetables. Kakashi carefully picked through the basket, feeling for any needle marks, smelling for anything out of place, and looking for any sort of oils that may have been applied.

It probably wasn't poisoned. Orochitama could just kill him at her leisure. But if a ninja just ate something that a known enemy gave them without checking it for poison then that ninja probably deserved to die.

"You're stealing from Gato." A young voice said. The child in the household looked up at one of the most dangerous people in the world and gave a grumpy, "You're going to get people killed."

Orochitama turned to give the child sad eyes. "Yes. I am. People are going to die."

"Orochitama!" Tsunami gasped in shock.

"It's true." Orochitama said with a shake of her head. "Gato is a monster that jumps to death as a solution for all his woes. I won't say more if it upsets you, Tsunami-chan, but I don't want to lie to your son either."

Kakashi watched in curiosity. The woman was either a hell of an actress or she actually felt something for these two. If she was just here to mess with people it served no purpose to be honest and talk with a child like this. They were civilians. They didn't really matter.

"I-" Tsunami hesitated, "I know. But I don't want him to-"

"I get it." Orochitama said, "I'll stop. But pretending something didn't happen can hurt your son just as quickly."

Conflict stormed on Tsunami's face.

"She's right." Kakashi reluctantly said. It wasn't his business, but a tired man with a face so much like Kakashi's own who insisted on not speaking about his pain wouldn't let him say nothing. "Just like physical wounds, emotional wounds can grow infected and fester."

Tsunami glanced at her son, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Go hold your son for a bit, Tsunami-chan. I'll start on dinner." Orochitama stated.

As the pale woman moved to the kitchen and his host went to another room with her son, Kakashi found himself reconsidering things. If this was all an act, the act wasn't intended just to hurt them. Everything being done was to show a kind, gentle, and giving soul. It was the act of someone trying to show they could be trusted. Not just by them. This was long term. For the people of Wave, and for Konoha. If it was just about getting one of his genin she would have gotten to them. They were young enough to be made loyal with enough unsavory methods. She didn't do all that. She came to where he was to act kind. Near the jounin. The one that represents Konoha.

Orochitama was trying to establish a peaceful relationship with Konoha. Giving intel. Providing mission support. Showing care. Or at least wanting them to believe that.

This probably wasn't just about a single goal in Wave. She doubtlessly was going to be here anyway, but was coming here specifically to speak with him. Which would go in mission reports. Which the Hokage would read.

"I need a drink." Kakashi concluded.

"Ara ara, that's bad for Chakra exhaustion."

This was going to be a long road to recovery.