Seeing Adam become so crestfallen, Cathryn thought that she might have been too strong with the way she was wording everything. She quickly thought of a few things to increase his spirit.
“Hey, Adam. I don't want you to get discouraged, so I will tell you something I don't normally tell candidates about.”
Adam perked up a bit when he started to hear this. Even Vivienne started to lean forward on her seat, wondering what Cathryn was about to say.
“Normally, we don't tell candidates the chance we believe that they have to become a spiritualist. For most candidates, their chance is less than one percent! Even most of your classmates fall under this category! But you are different! From what I have observed, if you weren't blind and could see the spirit formation like everyone else in class, you would have had an eighty percent chance at becoming a spiritualist!”
Adam and Vivienne were momentarily stunned. Adam thought to himself: “I really had that great of a chance to start with!?”
Cathryn continued with their rapt attention: “The greatest hurdle to you now is this spirit formation. While your blindness will still impact your chances, as long as we can figure this out, you will still have a better chance than most to become a spiritualist!”
Cathryn did not mention the actual chance she thought that Adam had at becoming a spiritualist. Before she thought it would be the same as the other candidates, around one percent. Now, with the way Adam had intuitively grasped onto the method of learning the spirit formation, she hoped that Adam's chances were at least ten percent. This is still a great margin for failure, but far better than most who walk through the door of the institute.
Now, to steer Adam and Vivienne away from asking about how good his chances actually were, she continued to speak of the advantage that Adam had: “The first time you came into this office to receive the spirit formation tool, you showed an excellent sensitivity for spirit essence. This also shows itself in your intuition. You were able to grasp upon the idea of drawing the formation in one continuous stroke, without any prior education! Even I had over looked this. Now, how did you stumble across this idea?”
Adam started to think about the question. Why did he form the idea of the continuous stroke? He scratched his head as he answered in a perplexed manner: “I don't really know. I just experimented with a lot of things and felt like this was the best answer I could come to.”
Cathryn then spoke: “Then you will do the same thing again! Experiment as much as you can with ways to memorize the length and curvature of the lines. If you put enough effort into it, I am sure you will arrive at your own answer. I am not blind, nor am I in your current position. It is unfortunate, but I cannot even begin to give you direction on how to start this process. You are the only one who can move yourself forward in this!”
Adam sat silently as he mulled over Cathryn's words. A faint light of resolution entered his eyes. Still he asked in an unsure manner: “Is there really nothing you know of that can help in this?”
Cathryn shook her head. “No. The only piece of advice that I can give you is this: if you find yourself really stuck, don't keep trying in a desperate and frustrated manner. Just take a break and relax. When you come back later with a calmed mind, you can begin to think about things in a different way. Taking an appropriate break is better than simply studying all the time.”
Adam memorized Cathryn's words, so that he would not forget them. After allowing Adam a moment of contemplation Cathryn finally ended the lesson there, as the three hours were already up. As they were leaving, Adam left the spirit formation in the same locker as his book. He decided to just bring the metal plates home. Rather, it would be silly to make any other decision at this point.
On the ride back, this time, Adam did not fall asleep. He put his head by the window for fresh air and started to think. He wanted to contemplate a few methods to test, so that he could memorize the lengths and curvatures of the lines that made the formation.
After getting back to Madame's Adam excitedly asked his mother if some one could take him to the wall garden right now. He really wanted to get started on his experiments. Vivienne denied Adam telling him that they still needed to go over Cathryn's revised plan to Hansen, Helen, and Alfred. Adam will have to wait until tomorrow afternoon before he could start studying the formation anew.
While Vivienne went off to inform the others in the change of their plans, Adam played his flute at Madame's in an effort to make the day pass by faster. He passed the day by so quick, he forgot that tomorrow was going to be another important day.
Waking up the next morning, Adam was excited to get the morning done. He wanted to go to the wall garden as soon as possible. Like normal, he got up and went to the cafeteria to eat a light, early breakfast. Training with Hansen would be soon after he had eaten.
Adam met up with Alfred and the others at a table. Alfred started chatting away: “We are all feeling a little nervous, how 'bout you?”
Adan was a little confused. “Nervous?”
“Yea, don't you remember? Hansen want's us to tell him our reason for learning the sword today!” Franklin chimed in.
Adam's mouth gaped in shock as he started to get nervous too. He even slapped his forehead saying: “How could I have forgotten about that!? Well, at least I more or less have my answer.”
Alfred only sighed in response: “We were wondering why you were so calm! Well, let's quickly eat and get this over with.”
The boys managed to scarf down their breakfast before heading to the training area. They nervously assembled themselves before Hansen, who had been waiting for them. The boys noticed that, today, Hansen was carrying a sword on his belt. He gave them all a smile and said with a laugh: “I see you are all anxious to get the day started! Well, let's get started with stretches and the morning exercises!”
Each of the boys made their own gaping noises at this. Looking at the slack jawed boys Hansen asked: “What's got you all slack jawed?”
Alfred was the first to speak: “Weren't you going to ask for our reasons about learning the sword and start training us with them?”
Hansen then gave them some dreadful news, with a relaxed look: “Oh, yes. You see, we have always ended around mid-morning with morning exercises. Even if I push you to do more during that time, we always stop around then. Now sword exercises will be going from mid-morning until noon.”
The boys were a little shaken by the news. It appeared that their exercise load would double! They just thought that the morning exercises were going to be cut in half so they get get sword training in before mid morning! The morning strength exercises were no longer as exhausting as they were when they first started. But they were still rather tiring! Now they would be pushed to the brink, yet again.
Looking at the boys, Hansen then said: “You can decide to skip the sword training, however, if you quit the sword, I will not begin training you again later! Now, let's start the morning exercises!”
This was the first test Hansen had for their conviction. It was a simple test. Would they decide to double their work load to accomplish their desire? If they decide to skip out now, they will never get the chance to start again! In a way, it reflected life. You often only get one chance to make the most important of decisions.
Hansen did not let the boys ask anymore questions as he diligently worked them. There was quite a few people watching them today. Many had heard that sword training was going to start. There were young boys that were full of envy, but no desire to work, as well as some simply curious onlookers.
Hansen worked them hard until mid-morning. At this point, he gave them a break before he started them into sword exercises. Adam and the others were all nervous of what was to come. Everything from here on out was going to be new. One or two were even feeling reluctant to do sword exercises since they were already tired and any more would be exhausting.
After the short break Hansen got the boys to all stand in line so he could see them all at once. There was around fifty centimeters between each of the boys. Hansen spoke to the boys: “Now I will have you tell me your reason to learn the sword. Why is it that you desire my training so much that out outlasted all the others? How tough is your conviction in this? We will start with you, Franklin.”
Hansen started at the far left of the line before him and would work his way towards the right. Adam was standing at the far end, so he would be last to answer.
Franklin was more than a little nervous to be the one to start everything out, but he still answered stoutly: “My father and mother were killed by a mugger. He came out of nowhere and attacked us without warning. If it wasn't that I was so small at the time, he might have attacked me as well. I never want to feel that helpless again!”
Hansen merely answered with: “I see.” before continuing on to Darren.
Darren said: “I never want to be like my father! He was a coward deadbeat who would often beat my mother! Eventually he ended up killing my mother..... I believe that his training will give me the strength to push my life forward, to better places! I will never cower and become a reject like my father!”
After Darren were Bruno and Clyde. These two were actually brothers. Together they said: “Our father was a soldier. His brigade was hit by a sneak attack from Luxom and he died. We want to become strong and join the army like our dad!”
Next up was Alfred. He looked a little more nervous than the others had, when it was their turn. When he was asked by Hansen, Alfred only started with a mumble. “What are you saying boy? Speak up!” Hansen pressed.
Finally, Alfred shouted since he got scared by Hansen's raised voice: “There is a girl I like! I want her to notice me and to protect her with this strength!”
There was a moment of silence followed by some snickering off to the side. Alfred's face turned red at this as he glanced at the onlookers. He was hoping that particular girl was not in the audience right now.
Hansen just gave a simple “I see” once again, before turning to Adam as he asked: “And what is your answer, Adam?”
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Adam felt a little confident in his answer. At the very least, it wouldn't be any worse than Alfred's. Adam readily spoke: “I want to be able to protect my family and friends, if the need and chance arises.”
Hansen once again responded with a simple “I see” Then Adam heard the sound of a well oiled sword being drawn from it's scabbard. Everyone was agape as they watched Hansen point his own sword at Adam. The hair on the back of Adam's neck stood on end as he realized that the tip of Hansen's sword was just a few centimeters from his neck. He could feel the cool of the steel and the sharp smell of oiled metal from this distance.
Hansen's voice became steady and harsh: “I will now test each of your convictions to practice the sword! Adam, are you willing to die to protect your family and friends, even if they would be killed regardless of if you lived or died?”
Adam's face had turned white. Of course he was afraid of the sword pointed at him, as well as Hansen's voice which was colder than normal. But the pressure from the sword also reminded him of that night where he killed the one ghoul and tried to attack the ghoul commander. Both were frightful events where he actually placed himself in harms way. It was dreadful thinking back about what had happened that night.
But did this not prove that he was able to lay his life down for his family? Adam's heart was beating hard from the pressure Hansen was giving him. His voice came out a little shaky and quiet from the blood throbbing through the veins in his throat, but an answer was clearly heard: “Yes!”
“I see” Hansen replied. “I have been told about how you stood in front of your mother and sister to kill that ghoul which was trying to take their life. Commendable, coming from a child your age.”
Adam felt a small sense of pride as he heard Hansen praise him a little. The other boys were even very impressed Adam had killed a ghoul already. Then Hansen continued to press him: “Now.... are you willing to kill anyone who gets in your way from protecting your family? As I recall, you fell into shock after you killed that one ghoul. That will prevent you from protecting your loved ones. If the time comes to kill the one hurting your family, will you seize up or calmly strike?”
Adam's face had become very pale again. Long ago, right after he learned that his father and sister had died, he had placed them in the ghouls spot in his mind. That was the only image he had of death so far. To kill someone else, will he see the image of his father and sister replace his enemy like it had with the ghoul?
After giving a brief pause to let his words sink, Hansen continued: “You don't have to answer that question for now. In the future, we shall see if my training helps you to become what you need to be. I just have one thing left to remind you. No matter what, you must keep calm! Your father, Alaric, died because he lost his cool!”
Adam was shocked when he heard this. No one had really yet to tell him how exactly his father had died. He had learned that he was killed by the ghoul commander, but that was it. Hansen continued: “Your father fell into a rage when he saw both you and Emilia fall. This caused him to make a fatal error when fighting the ghoul commander that cost him his life! If you never fear death, never fear to kill, never fall into despair or anger at your lack of ability, you may just be able to pull your family and friends out from their own pit of death. But only if you stay calm and collected!”
Hansen then pulled his sword away from Adam and let his words sink into the boy. Adam was left pale and shaky while he thought over the words Hansen spoke to him. Hansen then directed his sword at Alfred's throat. Alfred could actually see the sword pointed before him and had to look Hansen in the eye. He was far more terrified then Adam had been.
“Are you willing to die for the girl you are trying to impress?”
Alfred was dreadfully scared, but, Adam had gone before him and watching him respond to Hansen gave him a little bit of courage to do the same. Enough, at least, to squeeze out a trembling: “Yes,”
“Even if she were to never choose or notice you? If she were to choose another man, would you stand off to the side and protect her 'happiness' or would you go up and confess to her? To let her know that you also love her?”
Alfred started to go as pale as Adam. He had never thought about this. About the idea that she would never choose him and go with another. They were still young and he felt he still had time. There should be no way for another to take her from him.
Hansen continued: “You may choose what you want to do yourself, but let me give you my own opinion. If she chooses someone else before you confess to her and just let it be, you will only have a weak conviction with which to protect her. If you never reveal your feelings, it may breed jealousy against the man she chose. It may even push you to murder the man, destroying her happiness. I suggest that you confess to this girl as soon as possible. Even if she rejects you now, keep pushing forward toward your own goal, eventually she just might fall in love with you herself.”
Hansen continued down the line of boys, testing each of their reasons, their convictions to train in the sword. The onlookers were quite frightened when Hansen had pulled his sword on the boys, some were even ready to bolt and get Madame Janette to stop this. But nothing happened. Hansen was only questioning them at sword point to instill a sense of pressure in them. If they continued to go down this path, eventually they would surely have to face a killer brandishing a sword of their own to harm them. This was just the first part of their training.
After he had finished with Franklin, Hansen let him think over the words he had imparted for a minute before speaking again. “I want you all to think about your own conviction as we continue to train in the sword. The feelings that you have all brought forward are strong, but very easily misled. If you keep your conviction strong, your sword will be strong. You will train better and become stronger. If you become too intimidated, you will loose your conviction and the strength of your sword. You will never be able to properly progress with your sword!”
The boys were all shivering in front of Hansen. But his words were able to get across to them. They were currently not so much scared of Hansen, as they were of the future. Adam was in an inner turmoil of what would happen if he was forced to kill someone to save another. What would actually happen? He would never know until it actually came to pass.
Hansen then said: “Now, lets work out all these emotions!”
Hansen walked over to a bush nearby and pulled a bag out from behind it. Opening it up, there were well crafted solid wood swords inside the bag. Each boy hesitatingly grabbed one of the swords when it was offered to them. At this point, the young boys watching off to the side got excited. They had come specifically to see the sword training, after all.
After Adam was also handed a sword of his own. Hansen told them what they were going to do for their exercises. Each day, they would be solely practice one sword movement for two-three hours! Today, he was going to start them with a simple vertical chop from above their head, to below their waist.
The boy's watching off to the side quickly got disappointed and left. They were hoping to see cool sword moves and the like. Not a single repeated sword movement over and over again for hours on end.
Hansen carefully guided them all through the process. Keeping their knees slightly bent and putting all their power into each swing, without making the swing rigid. Forcing the boys to use their entire body in each swing. The moment one of them slacked off, Hansen would single them out and make them return to proper form.
During this time, Hansen spent the most time getting Adam to fall into form. Adam couldn't see his posture, so he had to learn how to visualize his body movements in his mind and feel out his muscles as he swung the sword.
They continued in this manner until noon came around. After this, Hansen finally let them go as they escaped to the cafeteria in the dormitory for a meal and a break. They were all exhausted from the day's exercises, but they still had the rest of the day to go!
The other boy's all had menial chores or jobs they had to take care of since Madame's took them in. During their lunch every one started pressing Alfred for which girl's attention he was trying to grab. He didn't budge, though, and told them nothing.
After lunch was done, they each went their own way to take care of their tasks. Adam was a little more free then the others as he was not truly required to play his flute at Madame's. Since Vivienne started working, she could provide job service to keep them both lodged in Madame's without others complaining.
As Adam left the cafeteria, his mother ambushed him. She was truly worried about Hansen's plan for the boys, but he assured their safety to both her and Janette. If the boy's resolve broke here, it was better than in a moment when their lives were on the line. The only thing Vivienne could do was wait and see how Adam took it. Worrying over her son she quickly asked: “Are you okay, Adam?”
Adam nodded to his mother. “I'm fine, mom” he replied.
“Do you want to take a break from everything else this afternoon? It's fine if you do.”
Adam thought for a moment. The idea of resting for the rest of the day was very tempting. But something nagged at the edge of his heart. He knew that it would not be good to foster a lazy life style. “No, mom, I'll be fine. I believe Hansen's words when he says 'only by putting everything you have into everything you do, will you achieve anything.' It's why he works us hard like he does. I should not give any less to playing at Madame's and studying the formation, just because I am a little tired. I will be careful though.”
Vivienne was proud to have such a diligent child, but she still wished he would allow her to pamper him a little more. He was still a child and would only be considered an adult in less than seven years. However, the things his life has thrown at him has made him grow a little faster than she would have liked.
“Okay, Adam. Helen will grab you sometime this afternoon to take you to the wall garden.”
“All right. I think I will play the flute at Madame's until then!” Adam said, as he traipsed off to their room to grab his flute.