I worry although the fault was mine

I had a dream last night. It was one that I did not wish to forget. Engraving it to my memories, deep into my mind and heart it was etched.

The dream had took place in a space the size of a basketball court. Entrances and exits in shapes of doors place back and forth. The front and back of the area was walled. I' do presumed it was a hall that I resided in. Standing next to me was my partner; a wolf to be specific.

He, I naturally knew. Far too precious to be called or even known to be an 'it'. Like a family member, a best friend or maybe even on equal standing to that as a lover. His value was unparalleled or in that dreamlike space I was alone. He had grayish fur, a white undercoat. Streaks of black and tingles of beige lined all the way to his bushy tail. Strong, large paws and with a childish appearance he'd accompany me. His tail swished side by side gently as he stood by my side.

He was the most beautiful being that I'd ever known; the most gentle. Nevertheless, deep down I knew. I knew that this beautiful being would be wholeheartedly willing to sacrifice his gentleness and purity into cruelty instead, and it would be for one such as me. I pat his firm yet soft head and his tail wagged harder. Just by being in his presence, I am in calm and bliss.

We continued to stroll along the hall where a man of large stature came up to us. Taking note, his stature was a muscular one. He had an intimidating aura and would've passed fine for an easily manipulated muscle head. No brains, all brawl. Sides of justice and injustice would be delighted to have him. He might've just been a pawn to them after all.

Wearing leather like pants, shirtless he was and reavealing the muscle and abs he supposedly seemed very proud of. Said man was walking towards us and a smile was plastered on his face; it wasn't the good kind though. standing by the large statured man was another being as well. One that had held of equivalent value of my dearest as well.

"Battle me." He said with a coarse and deep voice.

None surrounded us. No presence of living creatures were here other than the 4 of us. Naturally, I knew. Accept the battle as foolish as it may be. In order to move on.

Seconds, minutes or maybe even hours later I find myself against him. Voices crash and blood was spilt. Sweat trickle on both my opponents and my forehead. Our partners too looked rather exhausted. Loud, fast paced breaths and a yip of pain came from the mouth of my partner. He had been bitten and his front paw was temporarily paralyzed. His vitality was detiorirating and he was on the verge of falling; nonetheless like a cliche ending of a Demon king and it's story's protagonist we had won. Dragging his immobile paw across the floor board, his face would scrunch up after each step taken. Yet we won.

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Time went and it' d been an indefinite amount of time since that 'day', 'minute', 'hour', 'second'. We find ourselves in a forest.

Forestry was plentiful and various shades of green surrounded us; ranging from a dark green to a lively bright, light green. A tinge of golden could be seen from a vague spot among the trees as it was sunlight that shun through. The scent of earth and soil was sharp and where we sat was a soft patch of grass. The patch was different as it wouldn't irritate your bum with its irritable leaves that stood bent and still managed to give you porcupine quills up your behind. The songs of birds and crickets echoed throughout the said forest.

We were once again alone and I hugged him. Finally, the fear and anxiousness kicked in. As well as the relief and gratefulness. Almost strangled him but as if the world was at its very end and I would never accept a parting I hugged him. Expectedly, warm tears kicked in and before long I sat nuzzled in his neck sobbing. Ahh... It had been a long time too.

It hurt so bad.

As if gravity intensified in my body, my organs were all over the place. With a tight chest I grinded my teeth and with pressured lungs I curse myself. Such naïvety, such inconsideration. Almost every fault was found. Although my thinking was nowhere near straight and was but chaos; if one was made of glass, just how would they be able to be pieced up again?

Hugging the gentle being in my arms even tighter, he looked forward. Proudly, confidently, he had won so what was I to be afraid of? There was no need to be so sad. He licked my tear stained face. My worry kicked me harder; right in the crack.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm sorry. So, so sorry." And I think he understood the deeper meaning of those words because he had closed his eyes and nuzzled with me further.

I'm terrible. Beacause I...