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Once Upon a Divine Technique Mountain
Once Upon an Imperial Capital (1)

Once Upon an Imperial Capital (1)

Hua Xiaozhui woke up the next morning. She rubbed her eyes, wondering about what happened the previous night. She had a nightmare—she recalled the time when her mother and father left her.

Looking around, she realised that she was not in her room. She also realised that her joints were aching, since she had slept in such an awkward position. “Where is shixiong?” she wondered, looking for the person that she relied the most on, even more than her shifu. However, when she realised that he was not here, she panicked.

Did he leave? Why did he leave? A great number of questions flickered through her mind. She was devastated to the point where she wanted to cough up blood. However, the feeling that she felt the most strongly was betrayal. She knew that with her shixiong’s personality, it’s unlikely that she would ever be able to meet him again. As her mind went haywire, she felt the spiritual Qi within her body begin rotating chaotically. She tried to stand up to look for him, but when she did, the world started spinning, and she collapsed onto the ground, with a high fever and blood oozing out of her mouth.

It was only after a ke that she was discovered when another disciple of the sect was also looking for Wuxing Wuming.

. . .

After a full night’s worth of travelling, I reached the Imperial Capital around the Chen shi[1]. I felt exhausted as I stumbled into the local inn.

“Who?” The innkeeper looked up as he heard the door of the inn creak open.

“I’d like one night.” I replied tentatively. The inn was quite empty, but that was to be expected considering the time of day. The occupants were likely asleep or out.

“That’d be 15 copper coins.” The innkeeper said disinterestedly.

Shit. In my rush, I forgot to bring one crucial thing—money. “Brother innkeeper, can you be benevolent and spare me the night? I’ll pay it to you tomorrow.”

“If you don’t have money, get out.” I could only leave in disappointment as I was chased out of the inn. Who knew that the people of this generation were so stingy and cold?

As I walked down the street, I noticed a

As I walked down the street, I saw a sign. Atop the sign was written: Imperial Worker Registration. Salary: 80 silver taels. I realised that this was a great opportunity! I immediately walked into the building that the sign was hung out on.

“You! Are you here to register for the examinations?” A man coldly asked me.

“Yes.” I replied casually, “Where do I sign up?”

“Here!” A man enthusiastically waved his hand at me. I hope that I won’t have to work with him, since I escaped my sect to avoid people like him. Walking up to the desk, he asked me same questions.

“What’s your name?”

“I don’t have a surname or name.”

“Don’t bullshit with me. What’s your name? Bring out your papers.”

“That’s really my name!” I protested, taking out an identification paper. It was lucky that I hadn’t taken it out after getting caught—it would be an issue if I had left it with my money.

“Huh. What a strange name……Anyways, where did you come from?”

“The mountains.” I replied with a half-truth, “The ones in the south.” Technically I didn’t lie, since Hundred Divine Technique Mountain was on Taishan, in the south of the Imperial Capital.

“Which one?”

“Ehh…” I was stuck in dilemma.

“Don’t know? You can let me see your papers.” Nonono, anything but that! If I do, then my identity would be revealed. Think quickly! Shit, I can’t think of any other mountain names at this time!

“You’re acting suspicious. Pass me your papers!” The man narrowed his eyes. He obviously had his suspicions. After all, I just handed his papers over easily, and now I was hesitating over such a minor thing.

I could only bite the bullet and pass it over.

“Oh? Taishan? Why didn’t you just say so? Wait—are you from the Hundred Retard Mountain?” I felt like coughing up blood. I’m just standing here, you know? How could you insult my sect just like that?

“Fuck, it’s the Hundred Divine Technique Mountain.” I felt annoyed. I had wanted to retire, but I was already exposed. Although being exposed was better than being arrested, I still wanted to cry about it. If they recognised me, I would be shipped back to the sect without any way to run!

“Oh? I’m terribly sorry, what’s the difference?” The man tilted his head, confused, “Anyways, what area do you specialise in?”

“Specialisation? I have none.” I lied.

“Don’t lie, your sect is full of elites.” The man picked up on it immediately, “If you’re not good at thinking, then you should be good at fighting at least, right?”

“Nope, I’m terrible at both.” I lied again.

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“Then that’s a shame. I thought that we got a good seedling this time. Which generation of disciple are you?” The man asked a perfectly reasonable question.

The new generation (my generation) only had five people. My shifu and my shiniang were parts of the old generation. At my age, I could be a disciple of either generation. They definitely wouldn’t mistake my shimei for a previous generation student, but for me…I finally have a chance to change my identity a bit!

“I’m a previous generation disciple.” I replied flatly.

“Bullshit! I know all eighteen disciples of the previous generation and the four disciples of the current generation, but your name is not here!” The man replied. It seemed that he wanted to check if I was a hidden disciple or something. I breathed a sigh of relief—it seems that no one knows of my identity.

“Other than the Demon Lady of Hundred Techniques, the Hundred Bastard Mountain, and the Drunkard of Mt. Retard, there is only another disciple that hasn’t even reached the age of 15. Who are you really?”

“Just another bastard.” I replied coldly. The man scowled at me, and waved his hand.

“Whatever, just go on.” I walked in the direction that he pointed towards, trying to keep in my laughter. The Demon Lady of Hundred Techniques was a perfect fit for my shimei!

When she first entered the jianghu, she went to a bar, where some unluck bastard tried to hit on her. Long story short, when the man was undressing in the bedroom, she cut off his life rod, and exterminated his entire family, before hunting him down once again. And all of that was only within a time of three days.

As I walked into the test grounds, there was a loud shout as a body hurtled towards me. Shit, I could definitely block this attack, but if I do, then I will be exposed! Maybe not……But blocking it would bring me one step towards being exposed. I could only brace myself as I got hit by the body. It was extremely light; I could probably just shrug it off if I was punched with this much force, but I had to act like a weak person.

I let the force knock me onto the ground as the man fell on top of me.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I used too much force.” A lady covered her mouth with her hand as she came down to check on us. She was quite beautiful, with an extremely thin waist and an ample bosom. Her face could be considered extremely beautiful, but comparing it with shimei made me feel that she was a little lacklustre.

I pushed the man off of me body. He probably weighed about a hundred kilogrammes, if not more. What kind of monstrous force knocked him out with such speed? What level of power did the elegant lady have?

“No need.” I used my arm to push myself up, rejecting her hand that was outstretched to pull me up. And this was how a romance blossomed……Not!

“I was talking to him, not you.” The beauty chuckled, pulling up the man that collided with me, “Why would I help someone who pretends to be a member of a declining sect?”

I was immediately in agreement. “I agree! If I could, I would pretend to be a disciple of another sect too!”

“Don’t bullshit. Your turn is up next.” She gestured towards the stage, before walking towards another room. It seems that I am the only person left.

“Hehe, what do I do?” I asked an examiner.

“You can either leave, or wait for another registering person to come.” The guard replied sternly.

“Har? Why can’t you just let me go? The registration is over already!” I asked. The registration clearly closed right after I signed up! Even the enthusiastic man left his post!

“Hmm? The registration is over? Oh, yeah, it ends after chen chu[2]. Too bad, then, you can only leave.” The guard said, a trace of pity getting onto his face.

Fuck, what is this bullshit? Damn it, I should’ve come earlier.

At that moment, someone tapped me on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw another man, who was staring at me. Damn was I lucky, it seems that there was someone remaining! I immediately punched out at the man before he could even say a word.

“Haha, it seems that I passed!” I laughed, looking over at the guard, whose face turned pale. What? Is there blood on my face or something?

“Uhm……Unit Leader Zhu, are you OK?” The guard asked. My face immediately fell as I realised that I screwed up miserably. Turning around, I realised that the man was sprawled on the floor, unconscious. Fuckfuckfuck, what did I get myself into?

I immediately bolted out of the testing area, and back onto the streets. I’m dead for sure!

“Wait!” A female voice shouted from behind me. I sped my running speed up, making sure to only use a normal person’s worth of Qing gong. Damn it, I didn’t expect to become a criminal so early into my emergence into the jianghu.

“Fuck your mom, why are you running?” The female voice shouted again, this time from a closer distance. I couldn’t speed up further without exposing myself, so I just turned around into an alley to throw whoever’s chasing me off.

It didn’t work. In fact, the pursuer actually managed to come even closer! Looking back, I saw another woman. She looked extremely elegant and refined, with beauty just a little bit lower than that of shimei’s. To be honest, in some ways, she might be even better!

“Watch—” I couldn’t hear what she was saying as I crashed into a brick wall. Shit, it seems that I was too distracted. The beauty walked up to me, and stepped on my arm.

“Don’t think of running, future head of the Hundred Divine Technique Mountain.” Her words made me stop what I was doing immediately.

“What bullshit are you spewing? The holy Virgin of Hundred Divine Technique Mountain will be Hua Xiaozhui!” I tried to lie my way out of this, “How could I, a useless member of the sect be the holy Son?”

“You’re not admitting it? Whatever, why did you hit Unit Leader Zhu?” The woman questioned.

“I thought he was the next fighter in the test.” I replied, trying to get my arm out from her foot, but only got a kick from her other foot, “Owowow, that is the actual reason! Ow, stop kicking me!”

“Hmph, then come with me.” The woman said, walking in the same direction that she came from. Hehe, this is the best time to escape! Although I will lose the generous salary, it’s much better than being shipped back to the sect.

I jumped onto the roof of a nearby building and started running in another direction. Now that my abilities were exposed already, I can use a little more of my abilities. I used just a little bit more Qing gong than the amount that she used in the previous chase, and went towards the city gates. Staying in this place is too dangerous, so I should quickly try to go to another city.

However, the woman had cultivated her Qing gong much more than I had expected, managing to catch up with me just before I reached the border.

“You dare try and escape?” The woman asked, stepping on my face. I grinned. No, I wasn’t a masochist, I grinned because one of my eyes was underneath her hanfu. Her hanfu was made it a way that made her look even more sensual that she already was, which made the blood go to my groin.

Actually, I don’t think that it could be called a hanfu—the rim of the skirt was cut off at the ankle, instead of letting it reach the ground, seemingly for mobility purposes.

“What are you grinning about? Are you a pervert?” The woman questioned, before turning red. “Eek! Pervert! Rouge! Bastard! Idiot!” The woman cursed at me, kicking my head away. Her kick connected with my temple, and adding on the fact that I didn’t use qigong to guard my body, I lost consciousness.

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[1] 7:00—9:00 a.m.

[2] 7:00—8:00. Adding a chu after the shi means that the time period is referring to the first half of the Chen shi. The second half is referred to by the word zheng (e.g. chu zheng = 8:00 to 9:00 a.m.)