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Once Human, Now a Parasite β
Chapter 142 The Dumb Joke

Chapter 142 The Dumb Joke

“What is it, Richard? My break is almost over.”

Special Guard Hammon was leaning against the wall while staring at his cousin, a soldier by the name of Richard.

Richard was part of the 2nd Sky Battalion, and albeit working for different people, the two cousins were quite close. Richard was a dark-haired middle-aged man with an ugly face, two round eyes, an unkempt beard.

Hammon, on the other hand, was a bit younger, had a well-built body and was fairly handsome. His most distinctive facial features were his light green eyes. For someone of his age, he was quite accomplished and managed to join the Special Guards, which was harder than becoming a Knight.

The soldier and the guard were very corrupt and often engaged in illegal deals that allowed them to benefit from great monetary gains.

“First… look at this!”

Richard, with a greedy smile, threw a heavy pouch to his cousin.

Hammon instinctively caught it, jiggled it before looking at its contents. There were dozens of Blakin Gold Coins, inside, more than Hammon’s annual salary.

“This is…?”

“Front payment for a new job!” Excitedly responded Richard as he lowered his voice and added,

“Someone approached me recently. He wanted me to deliver something to one of the prisoners on the 5th floor. Naturally, I came to you!”

Even with a huge sum of money in his hands, Hammon appeared hesitant. However, it wasn’t a sense of morality or fear that brought forth this visible hesitation.

“Don’t worry! This is only the front payment. You’ll get thrice as much once the job is done.”

“T-thrice?” Hammon straightened his back and gawked at his cousin.

“Yes! Hahaha! This is easy money, cousin! Even though the target is on the 5th floor, I’m sure you can do it with ease.”

“I mean… I am a Special Guard, after all.” Proudly declared Hammon as he smirked and puffed his chest.

“No need to get all smug on me. Are you in?”

“Wait!” Hammon raised his hand and gave Richard a look of suspicion,

“How much are you getting paid?”

“Same as you.”

“You’re taking no risks whatsoever! I want half of your pay.”

“...”

Richard acted angry, but he eventually sighed and reluctantly nodded his head.

Hammon found it a bit odd that his money-hungry cousin didn’t object, but since he was getting paid so much, he didn’t particularly care.

“So, what am I going to deliver this time?”

“A letter. You need to give the letter to the prisoner and wait for him to write a response. Once you are done, bring the letter back to me.”

“That’s it? It’s awfully easy. Who’s the recipient?”

“The new inmate of the 5th floor, Christopher. Remember that you’re only getting paid this much thanks to my godly bartering skills.”

Hammon rolled his eyes and snatched the letter from his cousin’s hands. He glanced at it but couldn’t understand any of its contents. It was written in a foreign and complex knowledge.

Then again, as this was a secret deal, it was kind of expected for the letter’s content to be undecipherable. Admittedly, most of their usual employers would either send items to some of the prisoners or just ask the Special Guards to look after their relatives.

“When can you do it?”

“Leo and I are in charge of the 5th floor tonight.”

“Good. I’m counting on you!”

Richard laughed and patted Hammon’s back before exiting the break room and resuming his daily and mundane work.

8 hours later, night of the 18th of the Red Star(10th month)

Leo and Hammon, part of the Special Guards of the Shadow Keep Penitentiary, were in charge of patrolling the small 5th underground floor.

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In fact, their job was only to keep inmates in check and just keep their eyes peeled in case anything happened.

They would just sit near the elevator and talk all night along, though they would sometimes threaten the talkative inmates who refused to sleep.

Hammon, who got used to engaging in clandestine deals, glanced at his sleepy partner before standing up.

Leo had a habit of dozing off and even sleeping, but since nothing ever happened on the 5th floor, it was fine to act like that.

Hammon, with hands behind his back, started checking one cell after the other, seemingly making sure the prisoners were asleep.

At some point, he stopped in front of Chris’ cell and leaned closer.

“Are you awake?”

Hammon spoke with a barely audible voice, but Chris reacted fast and, while lying on the uncomfortable bed, turned his head to the side,

“Piss off, I’m trying to sleep.”

The Special Guard, looking a bit solemn, took out the letter and threw it near Chris’ bed.

“Read it.”

Although he was confused and bothered, Chris let out a grunt of irritation and lazily picked the letter. However, his expression drastically changed when he read its contents. To begin with, there wasn’t much written inside, only a couple of words.

What made him so visibly shocked was the language used. The letters were in English and not in the universal language used in this world.

Christopher jumped to his feet and rushed to the cell bars, clinging to them as he questioned Hammon.

“Who are you? Who gave you this?!”

“Pipe down, inmate!”

Hammon was startled by the prisoner’s reaction.

“Answer me!”

“I was only asked to deliver this to you and return with your response.”

“...”

Christopher mumbled a couple of inaudible words as he paced around the cell with his eyes glued on the letter.

“No way no way no way…”

After a bit of time passed, in which Hammon grew impatient, Chris suddenly burst out in laughter.

“I told you to keep it down!”

Hammon glanced at his colleague, but Leo was in a deep sleep with his head resting on the table.

“Give me a pen!”

Hammon did as asked to quicken this process and end this deal.

Meanwhile, Chris scribbled a couple of English words on the letter before passing it back.

Hammon seemed disinterested in what was written, especially because it was incomprehensible. He stuffed the letter back into his pocket and resumed nocturnal duties without a care in the world.

As for Chris, he wiped a couple of tears that trickled down his face. He had a broad smile of joy plastered on his face.

“You’re alive, Arthur? I should’ve guessed that you’re one tenacious motherfucker… O’boy… if you’re really here, then I better start preparing too.”

A couple of hours later, when the sun started to set, Chris lightly tapped on the wall.

“Psst! Crazy guy.”

The psychopathic serial killer responded not a second too late, though he sounded grumpy, “I’m not going to talk to someone who doesn't appreciate my genius or listen to my wise and artistic words filled with eloquence.”

“Yeah yeah I get it. Do you still want to leave this place?”

“As I said-... what?”

The man changed his demeanor almost instantly as he became slightly excited,

“Why, yes I do. Have you finally come to your senses and realized my necessity in your not-so-secret plans?”

“Spare me your bullshit, alright? You in or not?”

“Depends.” The Painter chuckled and tapped on the cell bars, “How are we going to leave? When is it going to happen? Do we have allies? Is it a sure-proof plan? Then again, with my help, there’s no way it could go wrong…”

“Oh for the love of…”

Chris facepalmed himself and glanced at the cell on the other side. The other prisoner was always silent and never made any sound. Besides the Painter and the mysterious woman, the rest of the prisoners always kept their counsel and didn’t reveal themselves.

While Christopher was trying to guess what Arthur was going to do, the serial-killer turned his attention to the female inmate, annoying her with his semantics and narcissism.

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“There you go.”

Hammon handed the letter and, with an expectant look, waited for his cousin to give the rest of the payment.

Richard, who seemed more interested in the letter, glanced over its content before giving another heavy pouch of Blakin Golds to Hammon.

Once the Special Guard left to rest, Arthur, disguised as Richard, sat down and read Chris’ response multiple times.

In fact, Arthur had thought about mentioning his survival to Chris, but that wouldn’t be enough.

In his first life, he and Chris had gotten into many a dangerous situation. They were two wealthy businessmen, often embroiled in illegal stuff and whatnot. As a consequence, they had a lot of enemies which tried- and succeeded- in threatening or kidnapping one of them on more than occasion. However, that used to happen more before the two of them became publicly known and moved away from the clandestine affairs.

Still, Arthur and Chris had an odd, embarrassed, and effective code between them. It wasn’t an actual code, per se, but a question and answer that only the two of them knew and used.

It all originated from a banal, cringy, and unfunny joke Chris used to repeat when drunk.

On the letter Arthur had written, the question was thus; Why was the goose sad?

And the answer was even stupider than the question itself, but regardless of its meaning, this entire code served as a signal. It was a way of communication to inform one of them, who was a victim of an assault, kidnapping, or anything similar, that the other one would be coming soon.

‘Because it had no hoes.’

Arthur let out an involuntary laugh as he read those words. It brought back many good and bad memories, both of which he cherished very much. If he had to rescue Christopher and get him out of this place, Arthur needed him to be aware of his presence.

When the time comes, Chris had to be prepared and not try to resist or run away on his own. Admittedly, Arthur looked different than his original human appearance, but now that he had finally communicated with his brother, there should be less room for misunderstanding later on, especially amidst all the chaos that was inevitably going to ensue.