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Once Human
Chapter Eighteen - Knowing oneself

Chapter Eighteen - Knowing oneself

The howling wind flowed around the house-sized, grassy hills, forcing the icy rain to fall in an almost horizontal manner, harshly pelting my small body as lightning flicked overhead.

Eyes locked with my monstrous opponents, I smiled through it didn’t last, turning into a grimace as I nearly gagged at the stench that assaulted my nose.

Not only did this thing, with its dozens of spider-like legs, centipede-worm shaped body covered in what looked like mattered, brown fur, look repulsive, but it also carried the worst smell I had ever had the displeasure of encountering.

-'How the hell did I not smell this thing from a mile away?'

It seemed, along with the rain, the wind brought with it the pungent smell of rotting, putrid flesh, the kind that makes a decomposing body smell like roses.

Eyes watering from the odour, a quote from a film I had once watched almost perfectly fit my initial impression of the beast, and I couldn’t help but repeat it under my breath.

“You are one, ugly mother fucker.”

The knee-high grass whipped my legs as it was pressed against the hills in the raging wind, which also made it increasingly hard to keep my eyes open without squinting, as the pulses of light cast both of us, one man… boy and one monster, in differing shades of otherworldly grey.

Thankfully, even though I could tell my pupils were rapidly dilating with the changes in light, it did not prompt the momentary blindness I had been plagued with earlier, allowing me to focus on the true threat.

In some primitive part of my brain, I knew that even the slightest distraction or lapse in concentration could be fatal and so pushed the question of what could be different, if it was due to another rapid adaptation or somehow more environment/situational, away as I focused on the creature’s grotesque head.

My chest rumbled a challenge, filling me a sense of immense power while I felt the adrenaline coursing through my body as heartbeats thundered in my ears.

For the first time since I woke up in the pool, I felt increasingly warm as my body became lighter, faster and stronger, the condensation from my breath being blown away the moment it left my mouth.

Even without the visual cues, I could still tell that I was releasing copious amounts of heat, drying my skin as fast as it was getting wet, as my body prepared to fight.

I shivered, though, unlike what I would have expected, it wasn’t from fear, but excitement and anticipation.

This was my chance to discover what I had become and, maybe, answer some of the darker questions that lurked in the recesses of my mind.

A flicker of movement in my peripheral signified that the seemingly terrified, shaking ex-alpha wolf was stalking away to the right, just like she had done when we hunted spike hounds and, even though I felt like I couldn’t rely on her in this instance, I felt a tinge of relief flow over me.

In this game of life and death, I needed every advantage I could get and, due to the pup still being some distance behind me, I had no fear in her trying to escape while using me as a distraction.

I blinked, only now realising the eerie, end of the world atmosphere created by the elements that surrounded us and felt the overwhelming urge to laugh.

If this wasn't the perfect setting for an epic confrontation, I didn't know what was. It was as if something had set the stage and now, it was up to the actors to adlib.

Ignoring the twinge of paranoia, I quickly reviewed my senses, knowing that when the real battle actually commenced, I wouldn't get time.

If it weren't for the aches, pains and cold tingling sensation continuing to crawl up my forearm, my lack of panic and self-preservation would have me think that this was nothing more than a vivid, game-like dream.

'Stop! We are not thinking clearly.’

-'Define clearly?'

‘We are releasing hormones that we do not recognise and suppressing segments of our brain vital for survival. We need to retreat while we are still can. We need to survive, and this is not the way to do it.'

It seemed that the voice in my head was developing a personality. The broken sentences were becoming slowly more articulate but, even though its points made logical sense, it didn’t mean I was going to start listening to it.

Also, unfortunately for me, it was a developing into very mother-like personality and I couldn’t resist sighing. Still, I managed to stop the eye roll which felt like, at least to me, a small victory.

I had a dinner date with a monster and not even the devil himself would be able to stop me, let alone a mother-like creation of my mind.

I took a step towards the gigantic abomination, that appeared to be a mix between a centipede, dragon, spider and mongoose, and started mentally preparing myself as I gathered as much information as I could.

The first thing I noticed, was the copious amounts of green saliva being expelled from its mouth through five or six foot long, needle-like teeth, which were way too big for its head as they extended outwards like some mutated deep sea creature, hissing noisily as it splashed on the floor.

‘Please stop. We need to think this through.’

-'What is there to think about? It dies, or we do, and personally, I have plans for the future so I will have to insist that it’s not me. Anyway, what is the worst that can happen?'

‘If you die, I die.’

-‘No we? I thought we were one? And haven't I already died once? Isn’t that where you came from?’

The voice became silent, though I didn’t really notice as I was too focused on the foul-smelling vapour emanating from where the saliva had landed.

I didn’t know if the reaction was due to heat, acidity or something else but I didn’t really care.

I had no intention of getting eaten and, given my smaller stature, even a slight nip would probably end me in a very bloody fashion. So, all in all, the properties of the creature's saliva meant little to me.

That was unless it could spit...

The creature had not taken its eyes off me since its arrival, which was only probably about thirty seconds or so, and instantly noticed my approach.

After regaining its composure, not expecting me to walk towards it, the monster's dragon-like, red slitted pupils condensed and released a wave of emotion, of what only could be described as pure hatred, towards me.

The rumbling in my chest turned into a growl as I continued to stomp forward, lifting my chin in defiance at the pathetic attempt to intimidate me.

The creature did not like what it saw in the slightest.

"Human, know your place."

My left eye twitched as the voice hammered through my mind. The creature's lips, if you could call them that, not moving giving me the impression that its communication was somehow psychic.

I didn’t bother responding, carefully watching its many, three digit, claw-like feet pawing the ground as its head continued to rise higher into the air as if trying to make the already obvious point that it was taller than me.

I chuckled, realising that one, no two, of the questions I previously had had just been answered.

After seeing this creature's feet, I had little doubt that it was the one responsible for the massacre in the clearing and, with how many legs it had, that it probably had been alone.

The beast snarled, a sight that would have made the Sarlacc look like a hot date in comparison, yet I just smiled back. Though admittedly, it wasn’t as stoic as it seemed, as I was trying not to breath through my nose.

After discerning the intimidation ability of the ex-alpha and this beast's roar, as well as taking into account its humongous size, which was easily around 30ft high, or 60ish long if you included its body, it seemed that nothing really scared me anymore.

-’Did I discover a way to combat the ability or did block my own senses?’

Another step forward, this time noting that the creature’s eyes widening in astonishment, my smile transformed into a grin.

There was a theory I wanted to test and so far, everything was going to plan.

A low, quiet, howl, behind of the monster caused the grin to widen.

The alpha had signalled that the area was safe, something she had done since we somehow managed to survive attacking a den of spike hounds on the second or third day of our little run.

My body shuddered in joy, the one thing that could ruin my day, excluding any strange abilities of the beast, had been confirmed not to be an issue.

It was alone.

The smile that plastered my face began to hurt, refusing to stretch anymore, the rain splashing against my teeth, at the realisation that I wouldn’t be getting any unexpected surprises in this grassy wastelands, at least from other sentients.

This may be a trial by fire but, so far, the cards were being revealed in my favour and who was I to question the goddess when her dice rolled in my favour?

Yes, the fact that it could speak hinted that it was intelligent, which would have made the average person more cautious but, through past experience, I knew that if I played my cards right, intelligence could also be a fatal flaw.

Emotions, like everything, had a time and a place, but the battlefield was not one of them.

There was also the hidden meaning behind its words. It had met humans before and, unless they had stolen its eggs/children and managed to escape, the monster didn’t appear to have come out on top.

In fact, as this wasn’t fantasy and knowing humans pretty well, having been one for the entirety of my life, there was a high chance that any sane person would probably attempt to nuke this thing from orbit, you know, just to be sure, and eradicate its entire species with extreme prejudice. I had only just met the thing, and I felt a similar urge.

If this thing hated them to such an extent, having chased one for what could have been weeks, then it meant that the humans it had run into were, or had been a threat.

With that in mind, and the fact that it had decided to try and smack talk me, a trait that was often used to buy time to think or analyse a situation, even if one was in the position of power, suggested that it was not entirely confident in its victory.

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That or it was playing with its food, but from the info I gleaned from its words, I doubted that.

One thing confused me though. Why had it expended so much energy and time to hunt a single, child looking human down?

-”Ah”

Realisation hit me.

Humans rarely ever move alone, always preferring groups, especially in dangerous situations and like most mammals, and some reptiles, would not expose their young to needless danger.

From my outwards appearance, I must look like an easy target. An object to release its anger and frustration but, at the same time, it must be confused why I would be so vulnerable. The chase had probably been down to it trying to work out if it was a trap.

-'... I am probably overthinking things. Maybe it is just a natural sadist.'

I chuckled, shaking my head, causing the creature to stomp a few of its many feet in anger.

My jaw clenched at the thought of how badly I was being underestimated.

-’You thought you cornered a mouse when, in fact, you have confronted a lion.’

'We are not thinking clearly. There are many glaring flaws in this logic. We do not have enough information, and our opponent is, of course, stronger than us or even that of a typical human. We need to retreat and reevaluate our options.'

-’... What are you? A computer? And it's stronger than us... so what? You only become smarter by playing a smarter opponent. Stronger by surpassing your limits. This is the path I have decided on. If I am to fall here, it just means it wasn’t intended to be.'

‘The reaction to your belief that the old you has expi-’

-’Enough! That subject is forbidden. Mention it again, and I will let that thing shishkabob US on its teeth.’

I was sick of arguing with the voice and didn’t want to hear its thoughts on that taboo subject. I wasn’t quite ready to deal with it head on especially when I had bigger, much more interesting, fish to fry.

Taking a calming breath, I returned focus to my, apparently confused, foe who by the looks of it, couldn't figure me out.

I doubt that any creature had calmly walked up to it, ignored all of its attempts at intimidation, before and it was struggling to work out why I am so confident.

It seemed I was right.

It looked like the thing was aware that humans could possess varying abilities and the fact that I hadn't revealed any yet, only served to put it on edge, hesitating to attack when it should hold the advantage.

Just like most things, the perceived fear and threat of something was always more terrifying than reality.

I knew I was taking a huge gamble, one that I would need to pay off soon, but this was the safest way I could think of to get closer to my target and, even surprising myself a little bit, it seemed to be working.

Infuriated and not knowing what to do, the creature released a bone-chilling screech, one which I shrugged off as I enjoyed the waves of panicked emotions washing over me, watching a new sentiment appear on its haunting features.

Doubt.

Was I poisonous? Diseased? A parasite that wanted to be eaten? Was I stronger than I looked? Made of acid?  A hallucination created by pheromones…

I had to admit, that last one was an interesting idea, and if I weren't about to spring the trap, I would have liked to reflect on it over a bit more but the first round was drawing to an end and time waits for no man.

I was now all but certain of my earlier assumptions and couldn’t resist the urge to lick my lips as I took another step forward, my eyes taking a quick glance at its legs.

They looked strong, powerful and deadly but at the same time, it seemed that was only true at a distance, just like its head. The creatures shape, as well as the position of its legs, meant that it probably could only reach its body in a few places if it curled up and even then, I doubted it could see what it was doing.

This creature intimidated its prey to keep them at a distance. Where its body would have the largest advantage.

The old me would have never taken this risk, even if I was in a tank, preferring to play it safe but… that me was dead. I was nothing more than a ghost. Memories from a being that had once existed somehow passed along to a new container.

While it was ultimately depressing, at the same time, it was truly liberating.

-’The dead do not concern themselves with the trifles of the living.’

With my next step, the creature flinched, much to my delight.

This is exactly what I meant by how intelligence could be used as a weapon.

Doubt, fear, anger, resentment. All emotions that were attributed to sentient beings and given high value, those that could override reason given the right triggers, could be lethal in life and death situations.

A true underdog had never won by determination, perseverance or all that other crap that modern society would have us believe.

It was because they won the psychological war and gave themselves the ability to overcome their opponents strengths just as much as their own weaknesses.

Was I susceptible to the same flaw?

Of course, in fact, that was the reason why I was standing here, in front of a beast that even its mother would find difficult to love, instead of running with my tail tucked between my legs… if I had a tail of course.

Thinking about it, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Devil performed a mercy killing on this creature, deciding that to look so grotesque was an unbearable burden, a suffering that no entity, no matter how vile, should suffer.

-'Well, in the devil’s place, I shall administer the medicine.'

Logically what I was doing was madness but at the same time, I needed to do it. I needed to define who, or more likely, what I was. The body was only one-half of the coin and I needed to reassure my fragile, uncertain spirit that it was me that was alive and calling the shots.

The creatures shriek came to an end as it ran out of breath, the waterlogged fur running down its neck settling down as the vibrations diminished.

My strides continued onward, closing the gap between us until we were no more than ten meters apart.

I was so close I could almost taste it, feel the monsters rampaging emotions. The desire to fight, to flee, despair and wrath. I felt it all and... I loved it… I wanted…

-’MORE~’

'No animal would ever consider getting close to something like that. This plan of yours is insane. STOP AND THINK YOU IDIOT.'

The voice snapped me back to my senses and I took another calming breath. It would not be good if I lost myself, at least not yet, so I decided to focus on what the voice had said.

-'Hmm, seems like you are getting better at speaking. Anyway, you might be right, but that is exactly why this should work. If it has developed abilities to intimidate to keep its opponents at a distance, it should be specialised in mid to long distance. while I have nothing by my hands. We need to get in nice and close.'

"I WILL DESTROY YOU AND YOUR KIND FOR THE SINS COMMITTED."

-’+1 for my theory. Somebody had finally pissed this guy off.’

It seemed that I was finally too close for comfort for the creature, and in one smooth movement, it arched its neck, similar to a snake that was preparing to strike, and released a mighty roar.

'This is stupid. We cannot face such a creature. We must flee.'

The creature's head shot forward, mouth opened impossibly wide, at an incredible speed causing me to flinch and throw myself to the side, my body too small to sidestep the attack as I had originally envisioned.

Luckily for me, the creature's bottom jaw smashed into the ground a few feet away, enabling me to dodge the strike by the skin of my teeth.

I had grossly underestimated its speed, yet as the head sailed past me, revealing its outstretched neck, It left me in the perfect strike zone.

A hiss tore from my throat as my heel dug into the ground, the tingling, warning sensation fading from my skin let me know that the immediate danger had passed, slowing me down enough to turn and, with all my strength, launch myself back towards my assailant's vulnerable neck.

It was time to water the seeds of doubt that had started to bloom in this creature and that even monsters bleed.

It had hunted me, tortured an innocent animal in order to instil fear, condemned me for the crimes of my species and for what? Just so it could enjoy killing me?

It wanted me to fear it... Ha.

I would make sure it trembled at the mere thought of a human before I was finished with it.

Moving faster than I had ever done, my aim had been to land a punch on the creature’s neck, thinking that the improvements to my new body would at least make the creature feel it. Yet, fortunately for me, I had forgotten what I had transpired earlier, and things didn't quite go as planned.

The head, still continuing on its path, only getting a mouth full of dirt, continued to stretch the beast’s neck, while my right hand plunged forward, unable to form a fist due to the elongated fingers until a surge of electricity, at least that is what it felt like, caused my muscles to spasm, straightening out my fingers into a point.

Having winced, expecting to have broken my fingers as the tips smashed into the creature’s neck, I would have been more distraught at the feeling that something had been controlling my body if it wasn't for the pain filled roar that almost deafened me, as I sliced into the creatures tough, leathery flesh with my... ivory-coloured, claws.

Dark green blood gushed from the wound as I rapidly jumped backwards, almost slipping on the wet ground, trying to gain enough distance to examine my hands. I could no longer ignore what was going on with my body, especially if it provided such a convenient advantage.

When I had reached the opposite hill, moving so fast that the creature was still reeling from the shock of receiving such a gaping wound on its neck, I quickly examined my hands, my mouth dropping to an O-like shape as my brain struggled to comprehend what I was seeing.

Ivory, bone-like hexagonal plates covered my hands, wrists and the lower portion of my forearm while my fingers had turned into, what I could only describe as, gruesome dagger-like appendages.

I flexed my fingers, noting that although I could bend them at the point where they connected to my hand, that was the extent of their mobility. It was if I had strapped knifes to my fingers, similar a well known, nightmare based character. But instead of looking somewhat cheap and fragile, the ones decorating my hands were hauntingly elegant, looking more like works of art than a lethal weapon.

Well, that would be the case, if it wasn’t for the foul-smelling blood that corrupted their appearance.

Dropping to a knee as an irrational anger threatened to take hold, I wiped my terrifying claws on the muddy grass, preferring the dirt over the green, corrupting, sludge.

The memory of the alpha's gaze flickering to my hands while I stared her down appeared in my mind's eye, I finally realised why she had so easily submitted and backed down.

She wasn't looking at a young human.

She was looking at a monster. One that, at least if she could sense feelings like I thought she could, was oozing a crazy amount of bloodlust and prepared to kill her.

Shaking my head and getting back to my feet, noticing that the monster was trying to rub the wound I had inflicted with one of its outstretched claws, probably thinking that it was injured far worse than it was, I looked higher up my arm in an attempt to work out how the white armour had been created.

My question was instantly answered.

Thick, white liquid seeped out of tiny, pin-sized holes that appeared just above where the plates had formed and, as if it had a will of its own, flowed into shapes, lying over each other in a similar fashion to the chainmail of the medieval ages or the dragon armour provided in more recent times, before instantly hardening into, what I felt like, was its final form.

As the armour grew, the holes continued to appear higher up my arm and I finally realised why my body ached so much.

The reason that, although I was feeling stronger, I knew I was also rapidly getting weaker. I was making this armour from my own body.

It was when I noticed a small crack at the wrist, slowly being repaired by some of the liquid, that I realised why the substance was so familiar.

It wasn't just bone-like, it was bone. Though just by looking at it I could tell it was much harder than it should have been.

My body was creating an exoskeleton for itself. Amour and, with my fingers, a weapon combined into one... just like I had wanted.

I didn't need to use weapons, I had become the weapon.

My skin tingled as my ears picked up the distinct sound of air being parted and raindrops being smashed out the way as something flashed towards me.

Reacting without thought, I jumped, gaining much more height than I thought I would, as I looked down on the spot I had been just moments before.

The monster was through playing games and, while I had been distracted with my new discovery, had attacked with such speed and ferocity that a large chunk of the hill where I was standing was now missing.

Releasing a hiss of irritation, my intent of repaying the sneak attack back in kind failing before it had even started, I stared down at the creature, knowing I was in its blind spot yet powerless to do anything.

While I was airborne, I couldn't do anything but let gravity take its course. This was not like the films or movies and I finally understood why in any martial arts, jumping was frowned upon.

-'The Perfect opportunity ruined.'

'We will not be able to win. We must retreat.'

Not knowing where I was, the creature rapidly pulled back, all but confirming my theory on its weakness as it quickly checked the area around its body before attempting to taunt me.

"HUMAN! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME! SHOW YOURSELF, YOU SPINELESS COWARD."

My skin erupted into goosebumps as I shivered, almost wanting to close my eyes and savour the moment.

If there was one thing people avoided doing back on earth, which I would have to admit made me seem very childish at times, was to tell me that something could not be done or, heaven forbid, that I couldn't do something.

Where normally I was lazy and apathetic, once those magic words had been uttered I became a machine, my sole purpose to prove the person wrong.

-'Challenge accepted.'

Not that it changed anything. My mind had already been set on ending this bug’s life but this just added to my motivation and eagerness to start tearing this overgrown worm apart.

The creature had always had to die, but now, it had to die in style.

My body reacted on its own as I fell towards my nemesis, a snarl etched on my face. The time for mind games and thinking was other. It was time to release the beast.