"I did it again," Rias admitted, her voice laden with guilt and self-disgust.
"Did what?" Eren asked.
"I hurt Issei."
Issei said she did the right thing. He said he was all healed, thanks to Asia.
He said getting hurt was better than her marrying the Yakitori. She shouldn't feel bad. He had asked her to do it.
He meant it, too. Issei couldn't lie worth a damn.
But Rias saw.
Rias saw the way he'd flinch away when their eyes met.
Rias saw him shudder in quiet moments when he thought no one was looking.
Rias saw him stare at hers and Akeno's bodies in his usual, perverted manner. Then the memory would return, and he wouldn't look at them for hours.
Akeno had stopped teasing him.
Even her sadistic Queen understood that there were some wounds inflicted on the soul, not the body, that should never be touched.
Asia hadn't left his side once. The former nun confided in Rias that he had nightmares.
Asia had wanted advice as to how to help him.
Rias didn't have an answer for her.
"Accidentally?" Eren asked.
"Not this time," Rias muttered, staring vacantly at the page of the manga she had been narrating to Eren when her confession had slipped out. "I didn't want to hurt him. I really didn't. But I had a choice, and I did anyway. And now... I don't know if things will ever be the same."
That youthful nativity of Issei's that she found so endearing, that boundless desire and hope, was now tempered by pain.
Issei still proudly proclaimed his dream to be Harem King, still determinedly focused on gaining his own Peerage, training, and strength.
But it was not with certainty that he spoke anymore. His dream was something Issei worked for but was unsure he could achieve.
"Things are never the same," Eren responded in that complicated tone of voice he got when he reminisced on his own past. "Time passes, and things change. Whether we do anything or nothing, that is how the world is. The only thing we can do is try and change it in a way favourable to us. So, you hurt Issei? Was it worth it?"
"It was."
It was a terrible, sad thing to say, but Issei's pain had made the world a better place for her.
Rias was free.
Free of her family's machinations, free to choose her own path and her own future. Free to live in the human world as Rias, to establish herself as her own woman before taking up the mantle of 'Gremory.'
Free to try and save her friend's life.
In some twisted way, it was also worth it for Issei.
He had always possessed potential as the Red Dragon Emperor of this generation. His future would have been boundless if he could live long enough to realize his growth.
But Issei's starting point had been so behind the curve that he was practically handicapped.
Issei had been the weakest holder of Boosted Gear.
Ever.
His magical potential, an essential factor for all supernatural races, had been less than that of a baby devil.
His body had been lacklustre. When he became a Rook, his physical abilities were the absolute minimum of the type. Even Koneko had been stronger when she had been reincarnated, and she had been a little girl, starved and without training when she was reincarnated.
Issei had no special talent. No skill with weapons or genius intellect. Nothing to make up for his lack of magic.
Issei had been weak enough that a devil, one not fully grown, had been able to reincarnate him with one piece, even though he possessed one of the Twelve Longinus. Something that had never happened before in the history of the world.
Now?
Now, Issei Hyoudou was the Red Dragon Emperor who achieved Balance Breaker in the shortest time ever recorded.
Words could not express how much a Sacred Gear's Balance Breaker changed things. The name gave it away.
It broke the balance of the world.
It was something against the system of the Creator. An aberration was never meant to exist. Even a low rarity and low power Sacred Gear could become a threat to Ultimate Class beings when it achieved Balance Breaker.
Issei had done it with a Longinus in less than six weeks.
Issei might not grasp what that meant, but everyone else did.
Kiba, who had used his gear for half a decade, hadn't achieved Balance Breaker.
Asia, who had used hers daily for most of her life, hasn't attained Balance Breaker.
Rias knew reincarnated devils, centuries old, who had never achieved Balance Breaker. Most Sacred Gear holders died without ever reaching that level of power.
Issei had gone from the weakest Red Dragon Emperor ever to the one with the single greatest potential ever.
And people, devils especially, noticed.
Issei, if he wished, didn't need to become a High-Class devil to start his harem. All he had to do at this point was go to the underworld, and women would be throwing themselves at his feet, begging to join his harem.
Devils craved power. Admired it. Lusted for it.
In wealth, fame, influence and, especially, direct power.
Issei had that in spades now.
Rias wouldn't allow some magic-digger floozies to exploit Issei's nativity. She owed him that much, at least.
But it didn't change the fact that Issei was better off after the Rating Game than he ever was before.
Except...
Sacred Gears respond to emotions. They grow, change, and adapt as the user's emotions do the same.
Issei standing up to and defeating Raynare had been enough emotional upheaval to awaken the Boosted Gear.
What must he have felt, only a few weeks later, that propelled him all the way to Balance Breaker?
Rias shuddered to think.
Because if she did, she might cry at the thought of what she had done to her darling Rook.
"If it was worth it, you just have to do it again." Eren shrugged, taking Rias from her thoughts.
"What do you mean," she asked, knowing Eren wouldn't suggest hurting Issei again.
"You changed the situation," the blind boy explained. "It will never go back to the way it was. That is the simple truth. But if it was worth it, if the outcome was worth the cost, then your new situation is still acceptable. You should not seek to undo what was done. You should seek to change the situation again. To make it better in some way. We might never be able to return, but we can always move forward. You just have to work for it."
"How do I do that?" Rias asked, well aware of Eren's limit to his advice.
Eren never gave an exact, step-by-step plan. He always left things open-ended. Over the last year, Rias realized it was because he wanted them to think for themselves.
"You know Issei better than me," Eren shrugged. "You know how you hurt him. I don't. All I can tell you is that hurting your friends sucks, but it is sometimes necessary. So long as they are happier in the long run. Your actions were worth it to you. Make it worth it to him."
Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.
Because of Eren's lack of knowledge about exact situations, thanks to the supernatural, his advice was always vague. But it gave her a good place to start.
What had changed? Not for her but for Issei.
The easy answer was that he had been hurt again. But where was that pain coming from? What could Rias change to try to make things better for him?
Again, there was an easy answer. Issei was not a complicated boy, despite his hidden depths. But throwing women wouldn't help him.
... Or would it?
Rias and Akeno had hurt him. That was a fact. But it didn't have to be them, did it? Koneko was more likely to noogie her fellow Rook than she was to hug him, but there was a much more willing participant in any plan nearby, wasn't there?
Rias was all for supporting her Peerage's dreams, wasn't she?
Rias might be unable to heal Issei's wounded heart, but Asia had been asking for advice, hadn't she?
Maybe it was time to be more proactive in her Peerage's love life.
Issei was kind of dumb on top of being traumatized, but even a dull nail will eventually bind wood if you hit it often enough.
But how to go about it?
Again, there was an obvious answer.
"I have an idea," Rias said, but then paused as she realized what she would ask her friend. "Have you talked to Issei before?"
"A few times," Eren nodded. "It's mostly just him venting. He is... lively."
"But you talked to him alone?" Eren nodded again. "And, uh, if he asked you for advice, you wouldn't mind giving it to him."
"It seems that is all I'm good for these days," Eren said in his usual, plain tone, but Rias could detect a hint of wryness in it.
"Even about love?" Rias asked softly, taking Eren's hand in hers as she asked. The blind boy froze for a moment but eventually relaxed.
"I don't think I am the best to talk to about that."
"I wouldn't ask you this if I had anyone else I could turn to," Rias admitted. "None of us, or his usual friends, have any experience with love or romance."
"No experience is better than bad experience," Eren pointed out gravely. "She... we didn't part on the best of terms."
There was the slightest tremor in his hands, Rias noticed.
It had been years since he had seen this woman, whoever she was. Yet talking about her was troubling this normally unflappable boy so much. It made what Rias was asking all the more challenging.
"That," Rias winced as she cut off her sentence. She chose her following words carefully. "It's not my secret to tell, but Issei's first relationship didn't go well. She tried to kill him."
Eren tensed once more at her words. He was silent again, once more giving the situation careful thought.
Sometimes, he seemed so brash, so violent, like a force of nature. In others, he was cautious with his words, like he was afraid a single sentence would destroy the world.
Rias wondered which was the 'real' him and which had been forced upon him by circumstance.
"Ah," he sighed. "If he asks, I'll talk to him. It wouldn't be the first time I gave love advice to a young boy. Just so you know, the last time I did so, the results were mixed at best, and I never found out how it ended."
"Thanks," Rias smiled and gave his hand a thankful squeeze. "That means a lot. I think he needs a male role model."
"You really don't want me to be his role model," Eren shook his head.
"I believe you are wrong," Sona's voice chimed in, and Rias looked over.
Eren, too, looked in her direction, facing her exactly. He was much better without his eyes now than when they first met.
Sona was walking towards them, a portable chess board under one arm.
"If you can instill some sense of propriety into that boy, the entire school might cheer your name," Sona said with a smirk, and Rias chuckled.
Just because she knew Issei's issues didn't mean that others did as well. There might be a parade if the Issei stopped being a perv in school.
"Then again," Sona's eyes narrowed as she looked down at where Rias' and Eren's hands were joined. Her glasses flashed ominously. "I am afraid some of his... eccentricities might rub off on you."
A part of Rias wanted to flinch her hand away, to separate from Eren as if she had been caught doing something to be guilty about.
A much more significant part of Rias felt a surge of competitive antagonism at her old rival and refused to do such a thing. Instead, Rias leaned further into Eren's arm, pressing her breasts against him.
"Hey, Souna," Eren raised his free hand in greeting, unaware of the silent conversation between the young women. "I didn't think we had a lesson today."
"We do not," Sona responded, adjusting her glasses once more as she glared at the redhead. "But I wished to spend some time with you outside of lessons. I would like to also teach you to play chess."
"Chess?" Eren asked with a tilt of his head. "Why?"
"It's Souna's favourite hobby," Rias chimed in before Sona could answer. "I enjoy it as well. If you learn it, we can play sometime."
"I already know the basics," Eren answered, gesturing to the bandages over his eyes. "Can't play like this, though."
"You can," Sona said, holding up the packaged board. "I purchased a set with large pieces distinct in shape between black and white. You should be able to feel the difference with just a touch. Rias, please move so I can put it down and set it up."
"Why don't I hold it in my lap? I can help describe things to Eren until he knows which pieces are which."
"That will not be necessary. I am fully capable of describing the situation to him without aid."
"But you might cheat. I'm a neutral party he can trust."
"I would never cheat, and neither would Eren. I intend to win honestly and fairly, using my own abilities."
"Your abilities as his teacher? He can trust me more. I'm his friend."
"I believe we are both his friends. I have known him longer, and thus Eren can trust me more."
"Are you two going to do this for a while?" Eren asked, his tone annoyed. "It's just chess."
"Just chess?" Sona asked, almost offended.
"Chess is very important to our culture," Rias hurried to explain, not wanting to seem petty in Eren's mind. "We've both been taught it since very young. Souna got out of her arranged marriage using chess. She said she wouldn't marry anyone who couldn't beat her."
"Rias!" Sona squawked in outrage at the spilling of her secrets. Then she looked at Eren, worried about his response.
"Really?" He asked, but with a nonchalance that told the pair he didn't give it much thought. "Weird way to determine a partner, but if it works for you."
There was a brief moment of silence before Rias broke it.
"That's it?" She asked in disbelief. "You don't have any thoughts about the arranged marriage?"
"No?" Eren half asked as he shifted uncomfortably in the silence. "Why would I?"
"What I believe Rias means," Sona said, clearing her throat and regaining her equilibrium. "You have expressed many times your views on freedom and the like. We simply believed you would express similar passion against such an antiquated practice of marriage for benefit, political or familial, rather than for love."
"What does that have to do with freedom," Eren asked, audibly befuddled.
"Isn't it wrong to force someone to marry they don't love," Rias asked passionately. Out of everyone, she believed Eren would have been the one to understand her.
"I still don't understand," Eren shook his head. "It's wrong to force anyone to do anything against their will. But that isn't the case here. Sona wasn't forced to marry someone she didn't love. She got out of it. And with chess of all things."
"I was lucky," Sona admitted. "Not with the victory, as that was my skill, but that my family would accept my conditions. Others are not so fortunate and are forced to marry or face expulsion from their family or worse."
"Then be expelled," Eren shrugged again. "If they don't want to be married, don't get married."
"What if it's under threat?" Rias asked, trying to parse Eren's stance now that the initial shock had worn off. Eren was the type of man with increadibly simple beliefs he stuck to, but they were based on layers and complexity that sometimes popped up unexpectedly. "To their life or to others they care about?"
If she had been alone, Rias might have chosen the expulsion option if it came down to it.
But she wasn't alone.
She had a peerage, one that she would lose if she lost her High-Class status. At best, the rest of Gremory would take them in as their own pieces, and she wouldn't see them again. At worst, they would become Stray Devils, hunted by all factions to follow her.
"Then die, fight, or get married." Eren tilted his head as if the answer was obvious.
"Now, I do not understand," Sona admitted. "Is using threats or coercion to enforce specific actions and responses not the definition of depriving someone of their freedom?"
"I'm not explaining myself properly," Eren muttered lowly. Then, louder, he started a story. "I knew this girl, Historia. She loved another girl, but that one died. Years later, some bigwigs wanted to use Historia as a pawn. They'd use her and eventually kill her after getting a bunch of children from her." Both girls' voices hitched the horror at the idea overtaking them. "I had a plan, one that could save her. But I needed time. I told her this. You know what she did?"
"What?" Rias asked.
"She did exactly as those bigwigs wanted," Eren said, and both girls frowned. "But she did it on her terms. They wanted her to produce children? She got married and got pregnant. She chose a man she didn't love but could live with. In doing so, she had control over her future, and I had time for my plan."
"Why did you not help her escape?" Sona asked. "You just mentioned it as an option for others, and that would have given you the time you needed."
"I would have if that was what she wanted," Eren shrugged. "I owed her everything. I cared for her. We all did. But she was the one who suggested the plan, not me. By doing things this way, she kept peace and saved lives. If she had run or fought or killed herself, it would have been a civil war."
Seriously, Rias thought. Right when she thought Eren's life couldn't sound more like an anime, he went and said something like this.
"It wasn't an ideal outcome. Nothing ever is. But it was one she chose. That's what I mean when I say an arranged marriage doesn't necessarily take away freedom. Because you always have other choices. Only when you refuse to choose, to fight, do you lose what makes you free."
"By that logic, everyone is free," Sona contemplated with a frown.
"Everyone is," Eren shrugged. "They are born free. The only ones who aren't are those who choose not to be. Those who choose to be cattle in a cage. Freedom is not doing whatever you want. It's having the ability to choose. There might only be terrible choices, which all cost something, but that doesn't make you any less free."
"I don't like it," Rias said with a glare. "I don't like the idea that someone will force others to marry just for some benefit. I don't like the idea that death or flight are the only options."
"Bad options are still options," Eren shrugged. "To Historia, the prospect of marriage and motherhood were better than death and war. I would choose the opposite in her circumstances. Some others, men or women, might make the same choice as her. Maybe the marriage is worth the benefits. People will do crazy things for money or power."
"What if someone is just trying to kill you," Sona asked Eren, focusing less on the marriage aspect and more on the 'freedom' idea. "Are they free to do that?"
"They are," Eren nodded gravely. "But they are also trying to take away your freedom to live. Anyone trying to take your freedom should have theirs taken. The freest man in the world is the one without any surviving enemies. But seeing enemies that aren't there, fighting to attain a freedom you already have, is not being free."
It clicked for Rias then, where the disconnect was between her and Eren.
To Rias, freedom was just that. It was the ability to live how you wanted, without anyone influencing you—freedom from negative consequences.
To Eren?
Freedom was life itself. To be deprived of freedom was the same as dying, if not worse. So long as you were alive, you pursued freedom in your own way. If you weren't chasing your freedom, you were just waiting to die.
And if anything stood in his way?
He destroyed it.
No matter the cost.
"If you need to fight for your freedom? Fight," Eren intoned lowly. "If you need to kill? Kill. But never, ever forget why freedom is important. If you do, you will be chasing an empty word. You are not free. You have simply chosen a different set of chains. Always chase freedom. Never become a slave to it."
The mood remained sombre even once the girls set up the chess board and started playing against each other and occasionally against Eren.
Their thoughts revolved around freedom, its pursuit, what price they'd pay for it and what it had already cost them.
Dreams, regrets and memories weighed heavily on their backs as they spent another day together on the bench.