Sonoru was among those in the army who were…less then optimistic about the final outcomes. As soon as Lord Ozuru died, Prince Jukazu took charge, demanding the remaining soldiers to prepare for a final battle—he wasn’t going to be slow or gradual like the regent had been. The fact that he didn’t care much about the soldiers’ lives—or anyone’s life, to be honest—helped a lot of soldiers decide that they would rather uproot their families and go somewhere else just to live.

He kept his thoughts to himself while Kinjo was trying to figure out when he could speak with Tsujihara—oddly enough, he seemed more concerned than her stepfather. It would’ve been a bit amusing if Sonoru was paying a bit more attention.

He had to have a good reason for fighting. His reason, at first, was to send his family whatever payment he got for his service; that was impossible, now, since the soldier’s ‘pay’ soon became ‘we’ll let your families know if you die, and until then you eat and sleep here for free.’ His next reason was to keep the royal family safe; Prince Kyuru was dead, so he failed there. He wouldn’t mind staying to keep Tsujihara safe, but she stayed near Kinjo as much as she possibly could—that and she had a knack for frustrating him by keeping some things to herself. Assuming Kinjo was even half capable as a guard, Sonoru wouldn’t be needed.

Did he have a reason to stay, really? Of course, his parents would probably scowl him back out the door if he went home. That was assuming his parents were still alive. They would only keep him because the family wanted to survive into the next generation; Masaaki was quickly dying out as a last name, not unlike how Gin’s royal family was dying out now.

It was hard to make a choice, but Sonoru knew he didn’t want to fight for these people. The amount of soldiers that fought, killed, then died without further recognition was enough to convince him of that. He wouldn’t mind dragging his friends out while he could, but he very highly doubted they would actually agree—Kinjo might go if Tsujihara did, but Sonoru felt like if she wanted to leave, she would have done so a year ago.

He considered it for a whole week, weighing the pros and cons of it. On one hand, he’d be homeless, probably starve to death in the first month, and be seen as a traitor. On the other, he wouldn’t have to die for a cause that was now lost to him, and he might be able to do something other than fighting. For once, he wantedto be a pacifist noble; trying to kill people was getting dull.

Prince Jukazu gave out their new positions—wait around the entrance to the palace in an attempt to kill the rebels. Since they couldn’t figure out where the rebels were hiding—their numbers were scattered, although they probably outnumbered the royal army now—the prince decided to invite the rebels. That message included pretty much every scandal in the past twenty years—every little misdeed the royal family did in the prince’s lifetime that he was aware of. Tsujihara’s existence, naturally, was one of them; if she was supposed to be the last card, as Lord Ozuru said, she wasn’t a hidden one.

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Hearing about the royal family’s shortcomings was enough to make a few hundred soldiers disappear; Sonoru seriously considered joining them. At this point, it felt like the prince wanted everyone to die—and maybe he did. Sonoru made up his mind about what he was going to do.

It was now a week and some days since the last battle; they expected the rebels to take the bait and attack in a few days. Tsujihara was the only one of the royals that had any kind of guard—and that was only because she was insistent on Kinjo being close by. Kyou Ujuro was called to return home, gaining permission only because Tsujihara gave it to him; something about checking on the older Tsujihara.

Sonoru wandered around the palace after breakfast to try to find Tsujihara; Kinjo wasn’t there again, likely being near her. Just as he expected, he found them talking just outside of Tsujihara’s room. They immediately stopped when they noticed him.

“You might want to consider actually eating breakfast,” Sonoru said to Kinjo. “Well, assuming you don’twant people to try to find you. I’m not going to ask, though; you’re welcome.”

Kinjo frowned—he apparently grew less and less fond of Sonoru by the day, although he wouldn’t explain why—and nodded a kind of greeting. “Does someone need me?” He asked.

“No,” Sonoru replied. He gestured towards Tsujihara. “I just want to have a word with her, if you wouldn’t mind stepping away for a minute.”

Before Kinjo could protest, Tsujihara smiled at him. “Asahi,” she said kindly, “It’s all right. Get something to eat before the tables are set for the royals.”

Hesitantly, Kinjo nodded and left; Tsujihara winced as soon as he was out of sight. Sonoru gave a short bow to Tsujihara. “I just had a few questions to ask you,” Sonoru said. “I would appreciate it if you could answer all of them.”

“It depends on the subject matter,” Tsujihara replied. “What do you want to ask?”

“For one thing, why you always look like you’re in pain whenever Kinjo leaves.”

“…I won’t answer that.”

“Kyou Ujuro said you heard voices when you were younger—”

“Childish imagination.”

“Your migraines?”

“Some condition I’ve had since I was young.”

“What’s your reason for stabbing yourself in the middle of battle, then?”

Tsujihara frowned, taking a small step back into the room. She winced again. “Why do want to know?”

Sonoru paused for a moment to sigh. “I’m just trying to figure out if you would be any better than the others,” he said. “There’s something…off about you. There always has been, I just…can’t figure out what. I want to know if it’s worth believing this place might live for another few decades.”

“…I can’t make that promise,” Tsujihara replied quietly. “No one can. We can pray for guidance, but in the end its up to the gods to decide—and whatever comes to pass, it will be the right thing.”

“Even if the whole kingdom burns, and everyone dies?”

“…Yes. I…I’m assured of that much, at least.”

She ended the conversation there, murmuring something about getting ready and retreating back into her room. Sonoru had to be satisfied with what he heard from her; he wouldn’t get any better than that.

He went back to the soldiers’ rooms, collected the small items he would want to keep, and carefully made his way out of the palace. Perhaps Gin just…wasn’t where the gods wanted him to be.