The barmaids had removed the stool normally at the bar and replaced it with a round of wood that would have normally been split into six or eight chunks to be thrown on the cavernous fireplace of the common room. A normal man sitting on the log would below eye level of the bar, which was chest high on a standing man.

Fraker, however, was large enough that sitting cross-legged on the two foot log left him at such a height he could lean one massive arm on the bar while drinking deeply from the stein held in one hand.

Before Fraker had arrived, nobody, not even the bartender, had known why tradition held that a bar must have a massive stein that would easily hold three gallons of liquor. The tavern owner, Kladdian duDeliarre, had considered it one of the stupider traditions, but was now glad that his wife had insisted he followed the tradition rather than risk bringing ill-luck on the tavern.

Seeing the legendary Fraker the Axe waving the now-empty stein made Kladdian realize that the ill-luck would have been a reality, less the typical bad luck of myths and stories like the flux during a speech, or a carbuncle on the nose, or sneezing during romantic interludes and more of the "everything stomped into flinders by an insulted and enraged Immortal" type of bad luck. Moving quickly Kladdian took the heavy pewter mug in both hands, carried to over to the tap, and refilled it with the thick black ale before slamming it down on the bar and dragging it over to Fraker. The hero threw a thick heavy gold coin on the bar, which Kladdian scooped up without bothering to tell the hero that it was worth twenty times what the ale cost just for the weight of the gold alone. He glanced at it, noticing it was a Novak Eagle from centuries before, worth about three times the value of the Deliarre Gold Leopard at current exchange rates. Kladdian dropped a handful of salted peanuts in front of the belt pouch that Fraker had set on the bar, watching as two little hands, with talons on the end of the long fingers, slowly came out of the pouch, grabbed a shelled peanut, and quickly yanked it back.

Fraker was unaware of fact he was overpaying for the chilled thick black ale, or that the peeper was stuffing itself on complimentary peanuts, but instead was paying attention to the young man sitting on a stool next to him.

"...and she always buys gifts for my brother, her real son, all the while denying me even the most basic of luxuries my peers, or even my brother, enjoy all around me." The young man was saying. His face was a study in tragedy, and the brandy he held almost sloshed over the rim of the cup he held it in.

Fraker had ran into the other man outside the tavern as Fraker was walking around the city, trying to come up with a plan on how to get into the manor without a runestone to disarm the magical protections. The man had been morose, audibly sighing as he wandered about, and Fraker had admired his lean lines and beautiful head of hair. It had only taken an offer of drinks and a sympathetic ear for Fraker to convince the young nobleman to head into the tavern.

"That sounds terrible, friend." Fraker said, pulling a small (for him) vial out of his shirt pocket and uncorking it. "How could she deny a man of such poise, elegance, and obvious good breeding small trinkets to show the world how proud she is of him?" As the other man nodded, sobbing slightly in emotional torment, Fraker dribbled some clear liquid with black granules into his drink. "You should be decked out in jewelry and silks, my new friend." Fraker told the other man, corking the vial and putting it back in his pocket while stirring the drink with the forefinger of his other hand. Once the vial was put away he turned to the nobleman and stared in the young man's bloodshot blue eyes for a long moment before speaking again. "Surely she appreciates what a beautiful son she has raised."

Rather that the sight of Fraker's eyes bothering the young nobleman, after all they were so bloodshot it looked as if his brown irises were floating in blood, he felt as if the massive hero understood his plight, his humiliation, and that he had finally found someone who understood just what it felt like to be cast aside by their mother and forced to languish in near-poverty like some ill bred commoner.

"Does your step-mother treat you so also, my friend?" The young, somewhat naive, nobleman asked carefully, reaching out and putting one hand on Fraker's massive thigh, which was easily as big around as the young man's waist.

"No, my friend. My Step-Mother loves me deeply, although she does dote on my elder sister." Fraker said. The memory of all the times Aveliene sat as their Step-Mother's feet almost purring with satisfaction as their Step-Mother wove a ribbon into Aveliene's wealth of red hair made a surge of jealousy rise up.

"Then you know just how I feel!" The nobleman said. When Fraker's hand dropped down to cover his the young man felt a thrill. The massive stranger was alluring for some reason, even though the young nobleman preferred the ladies of his own social circle, even if it was not entirely for the usual reason. The sense of danger, the feel of restrained menace, and the obvious aura of deadly competence that the other man exuded all formed a heady mix that intrigued the young man.

"Aye, that I do, friend." The giant opened his mouth to say more when chirps and trills came from the pouch and the huge man laughed. The young nobleman watched as the giant waved over the bartender and ordered a small dish of shredded pickled herring and brine soaked beef and asked that it be placed in front of the pouch.

"What lives within that pouch, my friend?" The nobleman asked.

"A friend. I found him after he hurt his leg so I let him ride in there instead of walk." Fraker said. Two small clawed hands on the end of long thing arms slowly reached out of the pouch, grabbed another peanut, and quickly snatched it back into the pouch, making the giant chuckle.

"That's kind with you." The nobleman said. He wiped a tear from his face.

"Another drink, my friend?" Fraker asked.

"That's a fine idea, my friend." The nobleman answered. He thought for a second, then took a leap of faith. "And perhaps you might be interested in discussing one another, rather than our mothers?"

Fraker smiled at the other man, exposing the serrated teeth at the front of his mouth. "I think I'd like that."

* * * * *

The clanging of cymbals woke Fraker up, making him groan and put one hand over his face. While the cymbals wielded by the wind up monkey were maybe an inch around they sounded like the thunder of cathedral bells to the legendary hero. Sharp pain spiked through his head, making his vision double and a throbbing pain start in one ear. He tried to sit up but the combination of the drink, the expensive venom, and the cannon-powder made him drop back onto the bed heavily.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

The young nobleman next to him just snored, his exposed skin lit by the soft light from the magical illumination provided by the ornate lamp. When Fraker opened his eyes that light, which had seemed so comfortable and dim only a few hours ago, speared into his eyes and made him groan again and close his eyes.

Happy cheeping came from the pouch, and the sound of winding gears made Fraker flinch again.

"Go somewhere else with that thing." Fraker grumbled.

Sharp peeping, a couple trills, and a raspberry answered him.

"What? Take that blasted monkey and go play with it somewhere else." Fraker snapped, trying to sit up and dropping back onto the bed with a groan.

Smug peeping and another raspberry.

"I am not hung over. I'm just tired." Fraker listened to the peeping and struggled into a sitting position, swinging his legs off the bed and cursing when the low height compared to his legs caused him to slam a knee into his chin. He growled, trying to clear the sparks out of his vision, then glared at the pouch as the huffing sounds of the little lizard's laughter mocked him.

"Just go somewhere else."

More cheeping.

"You can too walk. Stop being so lazy." Fraker pushed himself to his feet and staggered over to the chair in front of the table, stumbling and grabbing the back of the chair. It broke with a snap as soon as his full weight hit it, sending him face first into the floor.

Huffing laughter mocked the hero as he rolled over with a groan.

"Take your blasted monkey and go play somewhere else."

Cheeping and a raspberry.

"What do you mean 'make you'?" Fraker reached up, grabbed the edge of the table, and used it to pull himself into a sitting position as the baby kobold hissed at him. "I don't care what she told you, get out of that belt pouch and go play somewhere else." He grimaced as the Peeper answered him during his struggle to his feet. He stared down at the pouch. "Last chance, little one, go somewhere else and play with that stupid monkey."

More hissing and a raspberry.

"Get out of there." Fraker grumbled, picking up the pouch and looking inside of it, tilting it so dim light illuminated the interior. Spotting the lizard, the size of a half-grown cat, he stuck his hand inside and fumbled around for the peeper. "Come out of there."

He heard rapid peeping, followed by a raspberry and reached further in, almost up to his elbow, trying to catch the peeper inside the extra-dimensional space that was far bigger than the pouch looked. There was a hiss, and Fraker yelled, pulling back his hand as the peeper blew another raspberry at him. On the knuckle of his thumb blood had welled up in a circle where the infant kobold had bitten him.

"Dammit, that hurts." He swore, sucking on his thumb for a moment before glaring at the pouch and pulling his thumb out of his mouth. "Why did that hurt worse than the time that duty bound knight rammed a sword through my gut?"

Smug peeping followed and he glared at the pouch.

"What do you mean because your cause is true you have the bite of a hundred peepers?" Fraker slurred, picking up the pouch. "That doesn't make any sense." Turning the pouch upside down he held it over the bed, which still contained the sleeping nobleman tangled naked in the blankets. "Get out of there."

More smug peeping.

"I warned you." Fraker said, and began shaking the pouch over the bed. "Get. Out. Of. There."

The peeper sounded more like a teakettle boiling over than the normal peeping, and while coins, scrolls, whetstones, trade bars, empty alcohol bottles, two turkey skeletons, and a lot of other things fell from the pouch, the peeper stubbornly remained inside.

Fraker was shaking the pouch frantically, drunkenly trying to get the peeper to fall out of the pouch, when a hand reached through the curtain, the ornate and complex enamel on the long fingernails gleaming, and pulled aside the curtain.

Aveliene was sitting on the windowsill, dressed in her trademark black leather armor with buckled straps, her crimson hair braided and tucked into her armor. Her green eyes sparkling with amusement as she watched her drunken little brother try to dislodge the peeper from its nest.

Fraker didn't even notice his sister as he kept shaking, muttering "Get. Out." and the peeper kept making mocking peeps and hisses the whole time. Aveliene watched for a moment then shook her head and made a tsk tsk noise.

Blinking owlishly Fraker turned to his sister, seeing a familiar blur on the windowsill.

"Step-Mother sent me to tell you to stop shaking that pouch or he's going to be sick." Aveliene smirked.

"Huh?" Fraker said, lifting the pouch up and looking into the upside down pouch. "He's not..."

With a loud retching noise vomit spattered on Fraker's face as the peeper threw up the peanuts, salted and pickled herring, and brine soaked beef it had eaten at the tavern.

"Sick." Fraker sputtered, lowering the pouch and turning it right side up as the peeper started hiccuping.

Aveliene's laughter was like the tinkling of a silver bell as Fraker glared at her and picked up a rag that had fallen out of the pouch so he could wipe off his face. She covered her mouth with her hand and giggled as Fraker wiped off his face, the peeper still hiccuping and once in a while making a miserable hiss.

"What do you want, Beloved Sister?" Fraker asked, tossing the rag into the fireplace.

Aveliene slid off the windowsill and walked toward Fraker, the sinuous movement making Fraker's mouth go dry and his eyes glance down to make sure she didn't hold any rocks in her small hands. She stopped in front of him, took the pouch out of his hands and turned it upright before setting it gently on the table on the side.

"Be at ease, little one." She said softly, her voice melodious and full of mirth. "I'll have a snack sent up to you after I finish giving my little brother his instructions. Perhaps something to settle your little stomach." There were a few cheeps between the hiccups and Aveliene laughed. "Of course, little one."

Fraker opened his mouth and Aveliene shoved a Novak green apple into it before he could speak.

"Don't bother making excuses, little brother, Step-Mother told me you'd be shaking that poor little guy like a baboon before I even left. I tried to stop you, but you did it anyway." Aveliene said, moving through the room to touch the unconscious and still drunk young nobleman. "Tsk tsk tsk, shame on you for corrupting this poor boy, little brother."

Fraker turned and glared at her, setting the rag down on the table. "Enough jokes, Eldest Sister, what does our Step-Mother want?"

Aveliene frowned. "You should speak with more respect toward her." Fraker snorted and nodded. "She sent me here to tell you not to damage the manor or the grounds." She snickered. "Her servants there are spooked easily, so you don't need to run in there bellowing at the top of your lungs and freaking them out."

"I know how to behave myself." Fraker pouted. From the pouch came a long mocking hiss that was broken by a hiccup, which made Aveliene smile and Fraker scowl. "Tell Step-Mother I won't tear everything up. What do you want, aside from telling me not to scare the eggs out of the maidens?"

Aveliene moved back over to the window, throwing one leg out, then turned back to face Fraker. "She told me to tell you to be careful, little brother. I'm here on other concerns, and I can't watch over you, even though she told me that you in terrible danger, even though I begged her to let me watch over you."

Fraker noticed that Aveliene's eyes were brimming over with unshed tears and open his mouth to comfort her when she just dropped out of the window.

There was grumbling from the pouch.

"Yeah, I don't think she's going to get you that snack." Fraker bent down and grabbed his rough cotton double twill pants and pulling them on. "I'll get you some crackers, buddy. Pack your stuff, we need to move."

Anything that made Aveliene stop to warn him Fraker knew was going to be trouble, which meant he needed to get the jewelry box and get out of city.

Quickly.

Fraker glanced at the sleeping nobleman and smiled.

But first, a little more fun...