Aveliene watched him put on his clothing, ending up in dark red denim pants, a light cotton shirt, and a leather vest, along with his Von-Lon boots. She walked around him, looking him over, before finally stepping back.

"OK, well, at least you don't smell too bad." She said. "I've got a plan."

Fraker looked at her disinterestedly as she continued, digging in one ear again.

"There's a wizard, we'll have him use magic to put all the peepers to sleep, then we'll put them in that stupid basket, then we'll be able to figure out what to do next." Aveliene said, walking back toward the road. "Hurry up, and don't leave your clothing around, there aren't any servants to pick it up."

Fraker gathered up his clothing, stuffing them into the pouch at his waist, the pouch barely showing any bulging for having about twenty times what it should have been able to hold being shoved into it. He hurried after his sister, catching up to her as she climbed up the short incline to the cobbled road. She was staring at the white stone tower that was gleaming in the afternoon sun.

"I'll bet he lives there, all wizards live in towers." Aveliene said with the absolute conviction of youth. Fraker just shrugged again. "Let's go, we'll have him put the peepers to sleep, get the bush, and go home."

"How will we take the bush?" Fraker asked.

"We'll have him use magic." Aveliene said, waving one hand. "Duh, he's a magus."

"All right." Fraker grunted. Aveliene glared at him.

Fraker followed Aveliene as she walked around the outside of the tower, just shaking his head when she dug in the garbage and finally pulled out a large burlap bag that was marked with the sigils of a major phaelan agricultural consortium and the sigil of Alben red potatoes in the middle. The sight of the potato sigil made Fraker drool at the thought of a baked potato with sour cream, chives, crumbled fried pork, and rich goat butter or maybe potato pancakes covered in bitter apple sauce and tangy pepper. Aveliene was busy planning, ignorant of Fraker's fantasies of potato based foods, and she waited impatiently for Fraker to wander back around to where she was standing, the bag at her feet and two thick sticks from the mage's garbage in her hands.

"Here, take this." Aveliene said, handing Fraker one of the sticks. Fraker accepted it and just stared at her with his muddy brown eyes. Aveliene sighed, set her stick against the side of the tower, picked up the sack and then kicked at the door, making it shudder against the frame.

"Go away!" a voice yelled from inside.

Aveliene kicked at the door again, ignoring the voice yelling again, then kicked a third time before standing next to the doorway with her back pressed against the tower wall. She hissed at Fraker and glared at him until he copied her, looking bored.

The door opened and Gencleus duBrevelak stared out over the neatly trimmed grass of his yard. He knew it. He'd just known it from the way the little brats had hammered on his door that they'd run away and hide behind his rose bushes to laugh at him.

"You rotten little scamps, if I catch you I'll cover your faces in boils!" Gencleus yelled, his thin wispy beard trembling as he shook his fist at his rose bushes.

When Gencleus stepped out of his tower two paces Aveliene moved behind him and jumped up so that she could pull the sack over his head. Fraker stepped out and slammed the stick against Gencleus' stomach, lifting the man up off his feet and throwing him to the ground.

Before the mage could do anything to protect himself the two adolescents began beating on him with their sticks, twice Aveliene stopping Fraker to say 'not so hard' before going back to beating on the mage.

When the mage quit moving Aveliene stepped back and waved at him. "All right, Fraker, you drag him to the bush, I'll close his door."

Fraker shrugged, grabbed the mage's ankles above his silk slippers, and began dragging the man down the road, ignoring the fact that the man's robe slid up to his waist to expose the fact that the mage wore no undergarments. Fraker switched his grip so that he could drag the unconscious mage behind him. Aveliene came skipping up, looked at the half-naked mage Fraker was dragging, and burst out laughing.

"What's funny?" Fraker grunted, leaning forward.

"Never mind, you wouldn't get it." Aveliene said, skipping around Fraker. The light made the scars that covered the mage's body glimmer and she purred to herself that their prisoner was an accomplished mage.

When they reached the bush Fraker dropped the mage's heels, stepping to the side and clapping his hands together to brush them off.

"Wake up." Aveliene ordered, putting the toe of her boot into the man's hip and pushing hard enough to rock the unconscious mage. Nothing happened. "Wake up." She said again, pushing again. Still nothing. "Wake up!" she yelled.

"The bag." Fraker said, bending down and grabbing the bag. He pulled it off of the mage's head, then dropped it before hefting the stick. From the bush he could hear the peepers making noises of curiosity as they stared at the weird scene in front of them.

"Hey, wake up." Aveliene said again. The mage groaned and his eyes fluttered.

"What happened?" Gencleus asked.

"Do what we say." Aveliene said. "Or you'll get hurt. Now you'll cast some magic for us."

"What?" Gencleus asked.

Fraker hit him across the face with the stick.

"Fraker! What are you doing?" Aveliene shrieked. From behind her, in the bush, came mocking peeper laughter.

"He didn't say yes." Fraker grunted.

"And now he's knocked out again." Aveliene bitched. She sighed and kicked him again. "Wake up."

The mage groaned and lifted one hand to drop his forearm over his eyes.

"Now you understand, if you don't do what we say, we'll hurt you." Aveliene said in her best 'menacing voice', not knowing that she sounded like someone doing a poor imitation of an orcish warrior in a bad play.

Fraker hit him across the stomach with the stick and the mage cried out.

"Fraker, stop hitting him!" Aveliene yelled.

"What? You said we'd hurt him." Fraker said. He smacked the mage again and the mage cried out again. "See?"

Aveliene just shook her head. "Just stop hitting him for a moment." Fraker stopped in mid-swing and backed up.

"Please stop hitting me." Gencleus whined.

Fraker hit him again.

"Fraker! Stop that!" Aveliene shrieked.

"What?"

"Just go stand over there." Aveliene ordered, stomping her foot and pointing over to the side. Fraker dropped the stick and wandered over there, sitting down and digging a turkey leg wrapped in gravy soaked linen out of his belt pouch.

While Aveliene knelt down Fraker just took a big bite out of the turkey leg, linen and all, rather than unwrapping it like a normal person. He liked the way the linen tore, liked the way it absorbed the best tastes of the gravy, and it wasn't like his Step-Mother was there to yell at him.

"All right, if you don't do what I say then my brother will come back over and... umm... hit you some more." Aveliene warned.

"Please don't." Gencleus whined.

"All right, you're going to cast a spell, put the peepers to sleep, then shrink the bush." Aveliene ordered.

"I'm not that kind of mage." Gencleus told her.

"Fraker!" Aveliene yelled.

Gencleus screamed in fear as Fraker ran up. "No, please, no, don't." He got out before Fraker grabbed the stick and hit him again in the stomach.

"Now, put the peepers to sleep." Aveliene ordered, stomping her foot.

"I can't." Gencleus whined.

Fraker hit him across the stomach again.

"Peepers, now." Aveliene said. When Gencleus shook his head Fraker raised the stick again and Gencleus screamed, curling up. "All you have to do is put the peepers to sleep." Aveliene reminded him.

"I work with stone and wood, not living things." Gencleus said. "I'm an engineer and architect, not an enchanter. I can't put them to sleep."

Aveliene stared for a second.

Fraker hit him with the stick again.

"Fraker! What was that for?" Aveliene shrieked.

"For not being an enchanter." Fraker answered. "If I hit him again do you think he'll agree to being an enchanter?"

"No, you lump!" Aveliene screamed.

Behind her came more mocking peeper laughter.

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"Stop laughing!" Aveliene yelled at the peepers. "It's not funny!"

"Can I go now?" Gencleus whined.

"Yeah." Aveliene answered, staring off into the distance. She grabbed the stick from Fraker when he went to hit Gencleus again. "Stop that."

"Now what?" Fraker asked.

"Give me a moment to think."

"Can I have my stick back?"

"Are you going to hit him again?"

"Maybe?" Fraker shrugged.

"Then no." Aveliene stared at the bush.

Fraker stood there silently, letting Aveliene think, staring at the bush and watching the peepers play.

"I have an idea." Fraker said suddenly.

"No. You can't chase him down and hit him again with the stick." Aveliene said, still staring at the fluffy cloud in the sky. "Now hush."

Fraker went silent, still watching the bush.

"Well, that plan won't work, I don't know where we'd get a camel or five pounds of peanut butter fudge." Aveliene mumbled.

"I have a plan." Fraker tried again.

"Hush." Aveliene said, waving her hand at Fraker. "No, that won't work, I have no idea where I'd find a midget with cymbals, a yak, and some copper tubing."

Fraker heard the clopping of a horse and turned to walk toward the road while Aveliene still stood and stared at the bush. When he climbed up the small incline and stood on the cobbles the wagon, drawn by a swaybacked old horse, was only a few paces away. It had a pick and an axe on one side and two shovels on the other.

"Good day, sirrah." Fraker said, smiling at the man holding the reins.

"Good day to you, child." The man said, pushing back his felt hat.

"That's a mighty nice cart, sirrah." Fraker smiled.

"They're a both bit worn, but they do the job." The man said, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"My sister and I need a cart and a horse." Fraker said.

"They ain't for sale." The man said.

Fraker held out his hand where small gold bars sat. "How does eight Novak gold trade bars sound, sirrah?"

The man climbed down out of the cart. "The horse's name is Charlie, he likes carrots and farts a lot of if you feed him cabbage."

Fraker smiled, bowing slightly to the man, and handed off the trade bars in return for the reins.

"You're an odd child." The man said.

Fraker shrugged. "My momma loves me."

"I'm sure she does." The man chuckled, walking toward the village. He'd be able to buy another cart, horse, and maybe even a couple more donkeys. He'd been worried about how he was going to afford more seed after beetles had gotten into his stores but now he'd be able to buy some of the good Alben seed that Logat had in stock at the general store. He'd even be able to pay off his tab, buy a few luxuries, and maybe even that nice gingham dress that his wife had been sighing over.

"Come on, Charlie." Fraker said, tugging on the reins. The horse nervously moved down the slight incline, the empty cart rattling as it followed.

Aveliene was standing where he had left her, still staring at the clouds.

"Do you think that one looks like a bunny?" She asked, pointing.

Fraker glanced up and shrugged. "I guess."

"Your such a lump." Aveliene said, then looked over. "Where did you get the cart?"

"Found it." Fraker shrugged.

"What do we need a cart and an old horse for?" She glared at Fraker. "You know Step-Mother said that horses aren't for eating."

"It's not." Fraker said, shrugging again. "They don't taste that good anyway."

"So why do you have them?" Aveliene asked again.

"So we can haul the bush and peepers." Fraker answered, then tapped Aveliene on the shoulder. "Hey, gimme some of your ribbons."

"No!" Aveliene yelled, jerking away from Fraker.

"Come on, you'll get them back." Fraker said.

"But, but, they're mine." Aveliene said, her eyes looking hurt.

Fraker tugged the knife out of his boot and held it out to Aveliene. It was a simple iron knife, with a leather wrapped hilt. "Here, you can hold this to make sure I don't keep them."

Aveliene nodded, taking the knife before digging in one of her belt pouches. She pulled out a tight roll of pink and white ribbons. "How many do you need?"

"That'll about do it." Fraker grunted, grabbing them. "Now help me."

"What are we doing?" Aveliene asked, her natural curiosity getting the best of her. She watched Fraker start to braid the ribbons into the horse's long mane. "Why are we decorating this old nag?"

Fraker shrugged. "You'll see."

The peepers watched curiously as the two big people wove in pretty strips of bright colors into the long hair of the big hairy creature. The silver longed to run over and rub her nose against the color strips or the creature's hair. She also wanted to climb up the long red hair of the big person and dance on top of her head. The bronze stared at the iron dagger in the big person's belt, entranced by the way the sunlight gleamed on the edge. The rest of them kept peeping that they wanted to run out and play, and the silver kept having a hard time concentrating on keeping them in the bush.

Then the big people moved and began putting the wonderful strips of bright color on the wooden thing behind the big animal. The silver was too fascinated to stop three of the green peepers from running out to climb up the colored strips and onto the neat wooden thing.

"Don't react." Fraker said, moving around to attach more ribbons.

"What about the bush?" Aveliene asked.

"It isn't that big, I'll just pull it up." Fraker shrugged.

"You'll need a shovel." Aveliene warned.

Fraker shook his head. "Naw."

"What about the cat?" Aveliene asked.

Fraker just gave Aveliene a look that spoke volumes before reaching into his belt pouch and pulling out another turkey leg wrapped in gravy soaked linen. "Cats and peepers like turkey." He said, tossing it into the back. He repeated the action three more times, gravy spattering the back of the wagon. One of the peepers climbed down to scoop up a clump of gravy and taste it. When it did its eyes widened and it peeper excitedly.

Aveliene shrieked as the peepers swarmed out of the bush, some of them climbing up her, to get into the wagon. The silver one paused to dance around on Aveliene's head a moment before yanking out a handful of her red hair.

"Help! Peepers! Help!" Aveliene cried out as she was almost covered in peepers pushing and shoving each other as they climbed up the young girl. They climbed up her leggings, up her braid, up her shirt, jumped off her shoulders, head, and breasts to get into the cart so they could tussle over the turkey legs.

"Don't scare them." Fraker cautioned as the last of the peepers swarmed from the bush, the half-grown cat following along. Aveliene shot Fraker a pleading look as the peepers swarmed up her and jumped into the cart. The half-grown cat jumped up, climbing Fraker's denim pants and then his leather vest before jumping into the cart. It tackled a turkey leg and immediately was swarmed by the peepers trying to peel the tasty tasty peppered linen off the turkey leg.

While Aveliene stood still Fraker moved up to the bush and waded into it, slowly pushing the branches out of the way. He stepped carefully to avoid the little burrows he saw in the ground until he finally reached the thick center trunk of the huge berry bush.

Fraker wrapped his hands around the bottom of the trunk, squatted down, set his shoulders, and lifted. For a long moment nothing happened except the cords stood out on Fraker's neck and his shoulder muscles bulged, then the ground started to lift. With a loud roar from the adolescent, more suitable to a larger, more mature man, the bush came free of the dirt, the main roots off the tap roots spraying dirt as they burst free. Fraker turned around and walked spraddle legged to the wagon.

"Watch out, little ones." Fraker grunted. He waited a moment till he heard lots of excited peeping before putting the bush into the back of the cart. He walked around and grabbed one of the shovels.

"Go get your treasures, little guys." Fraker said, rolling his head to crack his neck. His voice wasn't cracking as often and seemed deeper to Aveliene, who frowned with irritation as Fraker told her to get the other shovel.

When the peepers came running back with armloads of goodies Fraker moved up to the front of the horse and grabbed the reins, clicking his tongue so that Charlie would follow him over to where the rich dirt was disturbed from where Fraker had pulled free the massive bush.

"How did you pull it out?" Aveliene asked.

Fraker just shrugged. "It's just a bush."

Aveliene opened her mouth and then closed it, deciding not to argue with him.

He's always been a strange little boy. Aveliene mused as she watched Fraker begin to shovel dirt into the back of the cart, covering the roots of the bush. Aveliene leaned on her shovel and watched Fraker cover the bottom of the cart, several times getting into the cart to lift the bush up so that it was supported by dirt. Eventually he got out of the cart and put the shovel into the rack so that it crossed the one that Aveliene never used.

"Done." He grunted, climbing up in the seat next to Aveliene.

"It's about time." Aveliene said. She handed the reins to Fraker. "I was going to mess with you and have this stupid horse walk away with you in the back, but he's a lump like you."

"Let's go, Charlie." Fraker said, clicking his tongue and flicking the reins. "We'll get you some cabbage to eat before sissy takes her turn driving."

Charlie started to move and Aveliene folded her arms and glared.

"You're both lumps."

* * * * *

The Eternal Elba, the Living Lich King, the Thorn Lord, the Queen of the Kobolds, walked through the garden, pausing now and then to watch the garden faeries dance and murmur appreciation at their antics. Eventually she came to where Aveliene and Fraker were standing in front of a massive streppleberry bush. Fraker was covered in dirt and leaning against a shovel while Aveliene was spotless and perfect standing in front of the bush. Elba looked over and saw an elderly brown horse chewing on her prize roses and smiled.

"It appears you finished the task I gave you." She said, lifting the edge of her kimono and stepped onto the newly churned dirt.

"Yes, Step Mother." Fraker said. Aveliene held her tongue as Elba knelt down in the dirt, grinding the churned up earth into the knees of her kimono.

"Come here, pretties." Elba said softly. Immediately the little lizards poured out, climbing on her, dancing for her, tussling with one another to get Elba's attention. The silver danced around, shaking her little bug head adorned stick while the bronze did somersaults and brandished his little spear.

"Yes, yes, you are all very, very clever little ones." Elba said, watching them all compete for her attention. The half-grown cat, still with the awkward kittenish look, bounced out of the bush and stood on its back legs to bat at the air with its paws.

"Why there you are." Elba exclaimed, reaching out to scoop up the cat, who immediately began purring. "Did you get lost?"

The kitten mewed and bumped its head against Elba's hand before going back to purring. Elba laughed and stroked the kitten's back.

"What do you mean, did he get lost?" Aveliene asked.

"He's not a kitten." Fraker said.

"Yes he is, look at him." Aveliene protested. Fraker just shrugged and Aveliene glared at him.

"All right, go back and play." Elba laughed, setting the kitten down. She turned to the two of her children standing behind her then stood up gracefully. She was quiet as she led her two children back into the house and to the comfortable breakfast nook.

"Did we do good, mama?" Fraker asked.

Elba smiled at him. "You did very good."

"It was Avie's idea." Fraker blurted.

Aveliene opened her mouth to protest, then shut it when Fraker kicked her.

"Mm-hmm." Elba mused. "But you helped, and that counts."

Fraker blushed as Aveliene shifted nervously until she suddenly blurted out. "Why did we have to go find them?"

Elba laughed when Fraker just shrugged, then looked at the young man seriously. "You didn't recognize him?"

Fraker shook her head.

Elba smiled and thanked the servant who brought them shaved lemon ice before turning her attention back to the kids. "Eventually you will."

"But why was it important?" Aveliene asked. She frowned at Elba's enigmatic smile and looked at Fraker. "Don't you want to know why the kitten was so important?"

Fraker just shrugged and Elba laughed.

"You are such a lump." Aveliene sulked.

"He's fine just the way he is." Elba said, leaning over and hugging Fraker. She kissed his cheek. "Always remember, Fraker, momma and sissy love you."

Fraker smiled at his sister as he closed his eyes.

* * * * *

"Always remember, Fraker, momma and sissy love you." Echoed in Fraker's brain as he opened his eyes and roared in rage. Before him the twisted creatures of the Mad God shrieked and gibbered as they clawed over their own dead toward the heavily armored hero who hacked his way forward. Only a few hundred paces separated Fraker from the vast brood spawners that spewed forth Reavers onto the battlefield.

"Your blood shall water the wheat!" Fraker bellowed, his cruel axe sweeping aside dozens of the foul creatures with each stroke. He stood over a dozen feet tall, his shoulders almost ten feet wide, and the armor he was clad in was inches thick, rendering him immune to the claws and fangs of the Reavers of the Mad God.

In the pouch on his weapon's belt the little peeper hissed at the twisted creatures, biting at any who got too close with his fangs, pumping venom into them with each bite.

In the little peeper's hands was a streppleberry, and around its neck was a woven braid of cat hair. It stood on a windup monkey who's cymbals clashed together with a noise like thunder.

The creatures of the Mad God continued to hurl themselves at The Herald of Carnage and the Peeper of Woe as the Last Battle raged around them and snow drifted down through the twilight that had replaced day and night since the Gods had been slain.

And the Herald of Carnage, known to most as Fraker the Axe, and the Peeper of Woe roared their defiance on that snowy battlefield as the Last Army surged forward to bring down the Mad God and end the tyranny of the Elder Gods once and for all.