Excitement courses through me with the prospect of seeing my best friend, my crush.

Even if she's the only one who doesn't know. Even if she does, I want to hold on to this one sided love. I feel yes LOVE.

These days the crush is just running deeper and deeper making it really feel like love.

What is love?

She likes girls as well like me. But no way, right?

Even if I have the fleeting hope she liked me once.

Now I can only replay how she told me she did not like anyone.

That made me sad but also not be less delusional of course.

Even if my hope is holding onto a thread. Waiting to snap.

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I can't help but wonder.

To be holding her hand

To kiss her tears away when she is sad.

To cuddle

To feel such a deep connection

Our connection is already deep but not in the way by touch.

Ever since this crush it makes me hesitant to hug her for too long.

I don't want to seem like I like her when I do But I'm scared for her too know?

I snap out of my thoughts look back to my phone

She texted me back

Angel: I can't wait for our hang tomorrow! 😍

Me: me too love me too

I can't help but wonder if she is this oblivious. I mean I surely don't make it too obvious but come on?

I spend that night fantasizing

Confessing my feelings

About going on a date with her

Holding hands

My heart flutters just thinking about it

I am such a fool.